A/N I own nothing like always. First of all I want to apologize. I know it's been forever since I've updated and none of you want to hear my excuses. I will give them to you anyway. I've been going through some shit and I honestly wanted to write. I really did. I just found that I couldn't. I just ended a two year relationship and wasn't handling it very well. I wanted this chapter to be a fluffy little piece but I couldn't write fluff for Bella and Edward in the state of mind that I am in. Finally I decided today that you guys deserved something. It may not be what I wanted this chapter to be, it may not be what you guys wanted this chapter to be; but at least it's something right? I'm sorry that I left you all hanging for so long only to come back with this. Which brings me to my second point. If you absolutely hate this chapter, hate that I threw an angsty chappie right when it should've been filled with rainbows and unicorns please bear with me. I'm working on getting to a fluff state of mind. So please accept my heartfelt apologies for disappearing on you guys and enjoy a little angst!
EPOV
Bella and I presented our two topics to Professor Newton. He said that he would be much more interested in the children's story topic. Bella and I were both fucking excited about that, it had been the topic that interested us also. We didn't get to talk a lot though because Professor Newton used up the whole fucking class period talking about what he expected in our presentations. As soon as class was over, Bella bolted out the door. I wished I had gotten the opportunity to talk to her more and debated about texting her. I had spoken to Alice about that over the weekend though and she thought that I should only text Bella in fucking emergencies or about class related material. It put a serious damper on my plans to bombard Bella with texts about how amazing she was but I had to fucking agree with Alice that I had to be subtle. I also didn't want Bella getting in trouble with her boyfriend because I was texting her all the time. That would just lead her to fucking resent me, not listen to the things I had to say. There would be plenty of time to talk to her during this project. I silently sent a huge thank you to Prof. Newton. This project made getting time to spend with Bella so much easier. The man had become a fucking life-saver without even knowing it.
I got to class early on Wednesday. Bella was there already, smiling as I sat down next to her. We discussed meeting times to work on our project. She said that she had most Thursday nights free and I mentally winced; there went my fucking Thirsty Thursday. Bella was more important than a fucking night of drinking though so I told her that I also had Thursday nights free. Emmett was going to kill me. We made plans to meet every Thursday at 5 for a couple of hours. Good, that gave me a hell of a lot of time to be with Bella. I had to take it fucking slow with her, I reminded myself. As much as I wanted to scream that her boyfriend was a douche and she'd be better off without him, it probably wouldn't be such a great idea. When class was over with she left again without saying a word. Damn. I walked back to the apartment hoping that Alice was there. The others were supportive about what I was trying to do but only Alice really understood what I was up against. I definitely wanted her opinion before my study date with Bella. I cracked a smile at the fact that in my mind this was like our first date. Expect I wouldn't be getting a kiss at the end of the night. Or her panties weren't going to end up on my floor, which is how most college dates ended. Still it was a date in my head and on our "date" I would treat Bella like a lady. It was about time that somebody did.
BPOV
Wednesday night I realized that I had to tell James about the project. I would leave out that Edward was my partner; I didn't feel like that was pertinent information. I could work on a project with a boy and still be faithful to James. I would tell him that I was working with Jessica Stanley. James worked Thursday nights so he would never know the difference. Lying to James bothered me but I reasoned that telling him the truth and worrying him over nothing would make me a worse girlfriend. Satisfied with my reasoning I walked into our apartment, to my surprise James was already home.
"Hey sweetie!" I leaned in to kiss his cheek, "Why are you home so early?"
He didn't return my smile or kiss me back. Uh oh. Mentally I recounted my day. I hadn't forgotten to do anything and there was no way he could have found out about Edward so fast. It must have been something to do with work. He was a manager at a local store and the job could get very stressful at times. Hopefully a nice hot shower and a massage would make him feel better. If that didn't help maybe I could entice him with some mind-blowing sex. I couldn't put off telling him about the project but was no longer sure how he would take the news.
Without saying a word to me James went into the bathroom. Minutes later I heard the shower running. Quickly I put my shoes and backpack away, tidied up the kitchen and living room and changed into comfier clothes. I decided that we should have spaghetti tonight and as I started the meal preparations, James came out of the shower. He walked back into the kitchen wrapped in just a towel. The water glistening off his chiseled body made the breath catch in my throat. I wanted to walk over and run my hands over his body but knew better. When James was in a bad mood it was never a good idea to touch him. I just gave him a smile and went back to pouring water into the pot. Suddenly I felt his hands on my waist and his lips on my neck. I smiled and leaned back into his touch. Apparently the shower had improved his mood.
"Sorry Bella, I didn't want to snap at you earlier so I decided to say nothing until I felt better." He whispered in my ear, his breath on my ear sent chills down my spine.
"It's okay baby. I understand." I turned in his arms and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. I lived for moments like this. I loved him so much when he was this way, soft and sweet.
He chuckled and moved back, letting me get back to cooking. We had a nice dinner together. Laughing the way we used to and talking about our days. I was so glad that we had this time together. After dinner as we were cuddling on the couch I decided it would be the best time to tell him about my project with "Jessica".
"James? I got assigned a class project today with a girl in my class named Jessica. Thursdays are the only days she can work on it so when you're at work on Thursdays I'll be at the library. I wanted to let you know so that you would know where to find me."
"You just got assigned it today?" He asked.
"Well actually we were assigned it on Friday, but we got all the details and figured out when and where to meet today."
"So you found out about it on Friday?" I nodded my head and the look in his eyes turned from tenderness to barely controlled anger, "Why am I just now finding out about it Bella?" he seethed.
"Sweetie, I didn't know when she could meet to work on it! I didn't think I should bother you with it until I knew more details!"
"Did you ever think that maybe I wanted you to be home when I was at work? Did you think that just because I'm gone you can just go gallivanting around with anybody?"
Inwardly I wanted to scream. How could such a good night turn ugly so fast? How could he be so angry just because I failed to mention a class project? This wasn't the way it was supposed to be! I was so confused by the sudden change in his mood that I didn't even flinch when he slapped me across the face. I couldn't move, I could barely breathe. It felt like nothing I did was good enough anymore. I was worthless. I couldn't seem to make him happy and if he wasn't happy then I could not possibly be happy. He grabbed me by the arm and half drug me into the bedroom. He tried to keep the beatings contained in one room. That way if I bled at least I didn't bleed throughout the whole apartment. It made the clean up easier.
I knew better than to fight back. I knew to keep my body limp, my mind blank. But somehow I couldn't keep my mind blank this time. I didn't want to think about the difference between the James that had kissed me so sweetly in the kitchen and the James that was glaring at me as he towed me into the bedroom. I couldn't seem to block out the pain either. I felt everything. His fingers were too tight around my arm; I knew it was going to bruise. Thankfully my face didn't seem to bruise as easily so I probably wouldn't need to use a ton of cover-up tomorrow. It was funny how I could think about things like that objectively. The short walk to the bedroom seemed to take forever as my mind raced. For the first time in a long time I was scared of what he was going to do. I had seen him angrier at me and wasn't sure why today scared me more than any other time in recent history.
We had finally arrived at the bedroom, he shoved me face down on the floor. He knelt over my body, grabbed my hair and jerked my head up. I felt shooting pain from where he was basically detaching the hair from my scalp. The feeling brought tears into my eyes. Strangely that seemed to piss him off even more.
"What are you crying about bitch? Does it hurt when I pull your hair?" He gave it another hard tug, "I would think a whore like you liked it rough. Maybe I'm wrong though because I also thought that my girlfriend doesn't keep secrets from me." He was practically spitting in my face.
I tried my best to avert my eyes. Looking at him now would only spur him on. It was best to keep silent and submissive. He was more liable to take it easy on me if he had total control. He must have sensed my defeat because he released my hair, slamming my head back onto the floor. It hit with a resounding crack and idly I wondered if I would have a concussion. It wouldn't be the first time.
"Sleep on the floor tonight like the dog you are, bitch." James sneered at me. He stepped over me and I could hear him turning off the lights and the television in the living room. I didn't even try to move as he walked back into the bedroom, turning off the lights as he went. He stepped over me again and I could hear the comforter being pulled back as he climbed into bed.
I waited until I could hear him snoring before I dared to get up. Silently I moved out of the bedroom, into the bathroom. Once inside I locked the door then turned on the lights. I curled up on the floor and was shocked to find that tears were streaming down my face. James had really scared me tonight. I could remember worse beatings, in face this didn't even count as a beating; he just hit me once and pulled my hair. I realized that it had been so scary because for the first time in a long time I felt like I didn't deserve it. I had done nothing wrong. It didn't help that I wasn't able to keep as detached as I would have liked during the episode. Shakily I gripped the edge of the vanity and pulled myself up. I looked at myself in the mirror, really looked at myself. Looking past the redness in my cheek and the puffiness around my eyes, I saw a scared young woman. For the first time since James and I started dating I wondered what the hell I was doing.
