Chapter 7
Kendall blinked open his eyes, a fluttery feeling inside of him.
For a second, he felt like he was back in the past, before Katie had-
That second was over faster than a blink.
Katie, the tapes, everyone who he'd thought were friends but turned out to be traitorous jerks, everything, came flying back to him, hitting him like forty tons of bricks.
Kendall sighed, feeling like a cloud of worry and sadness was hanging over him. Katie was gone, his friends and his mom were all distant from him now. At least James, Logan, and Carlos had forgiven him for pushing them away.
At least he hadn't pushed his mom away yet.
He didn't know what to tell his mom; that her husband was a rapist? That he had been lying to her all along?
Kendall got up and changed into casual clothes. He didn't even bother brushing his teeth. Things like that just weren't important anymore.
He entered the kitchen and saw that no one else was awake yet. He glanced at the clock; 7:30. He'd only slept for 5 hours, maybe less. He had been tossing and turning around all last night, having good dreams and nightmares.
All dreams about Katie. The good memories of them playing pranks on each other, and bad ones about when she died. Kendall didn't know when those dreams would stop. He wanted the bad ones to stop; he wanted to good ones to stay.
After all, it was the last he'd ever see his baby sister again.
Kendall was just about to turn on the TV to pretend to watch something when Logan came in, yawning. He spotted Kendall a smiled a little. Kendall knew why; this was the first day he'd actually come out of his room for something other than eating, drinking, the bathroom, or getting the mail.
He was never going to get the mail again.
"Hey, Kendall. How are you?" Logan asked quietly, sitting down beside him. Kendall shrugged. For someone so smart, Logan sure had asked a stupid question.
Logan seemed to notice this, too. "Sorry, I know what you're going to say. I just… I'm sorry." He looked down.
Kendall sighed, putting a hand on Logan's shoulder. "No, it's alright, Logan. It's about time I come out of that stink hole anyways." Logan cracked a little smile. Kendall missed making him laugh.
"So… how was last night?" Logan asked again, his voice even quieter than before. Kendall stared into his brown eyes.
"Last night? Honesty? It was horrible." Kendall responded. Logan just nodded, like he knew what he was talking about. And he probably did.
Logan, oh, Logan… what did you do? Kendall wanted to ask him that so badly. What had Logan Mitchell done to deserve to be on those tapes? What had James and Carlos done?
They all loved Katie so much. Okay, maybe sometimes she annoyed them to no end, but they had always loved her to the bottom of their hearts. What could they have done?
What could he have done?
Kendall loved his baby sister. He couldn't remember ever doing something bad to her. He couldn't remember a thing. Except maybe that time he woke her up by dumping water on her, but he doubted that was enough to get him onto those tapes.
Those horrible, heart-breaking tapes.
"I… I just finished the Jennifers." Kendall blurted out, not knowing what else to say. Logan looked up.
"Yeah… Kinda expected that from them, though, didn't you?" Logan questioned. Kendall shrugged.
"I guess… but I never knew they'd stoop down so low."
Logan snorted. "I never knew any of those people would stoop so low, especially not you, Kendall-" He froze, clamping his mouth shut. He looked away, his face turning red.
Kendall stood up, Logan's words like a knife to his gut. He felt tears in his eyes. No one's words had ever hurt him so much. "L-Logan… what did I do?" Kendall whispered, his voice cracking.
Logan shook his head, still not meeting his eyes. "I-I'm so sorry, Kendall, I didn't mean to say that! You're my best friend, and that will never change, as long as I'm living. I promise that, I-I'm sorry about what I-"
Kendall interrupted him. "Just tell me what I did." He stated firmly. Logan did look up this time; there were tears in his eyes too.
"Kendall… you know I can't. You just have to figure it out by yourself. That's what all of us did."
Kendall's vision started getting dizzy. He didn't want to be here anymore. The walls were closing in on him, threatening to smash him… He had to leave.
What had he done to Katie? What had he done to deserve all this pain?
Kendall ran out the door of 2J. He didn't know where he was going, he just knew that he just wanted to run.
He wished he could run away from his problems, but that would never happen. He would never be able to escape this as long as he lived.
And for one horrifying moment, he wondered if this is what Katie felt like when she had ran away that night.
line line line
Carlos looked around the dark Palm Woods Park, trying to find that familiar tuft of blonde hair that would surely stand out in the dark.
He couldn't find Kendall.
He had walked around for God knows how long, and it was dark now and it was kind of scary and he just wanted to find Kendall and make sure he was-
There! Carlos suddenly spotted what he was looking for. Rather, who he was looking for. He slowly approached Kendall's curled up form. Was he crying? Carlos had never seen Kendall cry before. He never cried in front of him.
But Kendall didn't know that Carlos was here. He didn't know if anyone was here. Carlos gulped, stepping a little closer.
He heard the sobs, as clear as day. They broke his heart, knowing that Kendall Knight, brave Kendall Knight, was reduced to a sobbing mess on the ground.
All because of Katie. All because of her stupid tapes.
But Carlos didn't blame Katie. He blamed himself, and everyone else on that tape. But most of all, he blamed himself.
What he had done was the worst of them all. He should've been number 13.
"Katie, Katie, why did you have to go?" Carlos was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Kendall talking to himself. "K-Katie, why?"
After a minute or two, Carlos decided he had to intervene. This was too sad, too heartbreaking. He opened his mouth, then closed it again. He didn't know what to do. Did Kendall just need time alone, or did he need comfort?
After a few minutes of contemplating, Carlos decided to help his broken best friend. "K… Kendall?" He said timidly, stepping towards where the blonde boy was.
Kendall sniffled loudly, a little startled. "Wh-who is it?"
"It's Carlos."
Kendall didn't sound so afraid anymore after finding out it was someone he knew. "G-go away. I don't want you here."
Carlos ignored the pain in his heart and stood over Kendall. "Kendall, are you okay?" He asked quietly.
Kendall stood up so suddenly Carlos didn't even have time to register it. "What are you, stupid? Of course I'm not alright, my baby sister's dead! I have no one left! I killed her!" Carlos flinched a little, but he found the courage to put his hand on Kendall's shoulder.
"Kendall, you still have people left in your life. You've still got your friends and your family…" Carlos pointed out.
Kendall just scoffed. "Go away. I-"
Carlos stopped him. "No Kendall, I can't go away. You need help and me and James and Logan are gonna make sure give it to you."
Kendall's eyes flared in the dark. "You think I need help?" He hissed angrily.
"N-no, not help, just comfort. Yeah, you need comfort."
Kendall glared at him. "I don't need anything, Carlos. I don't need James or Logan or you trying to help me. I'm perfectly fine, you hear me? I'm fine!" He was practically yelling by now.
Carlos stepped back a step. "Kendall, please, I-I know you're just sad about Katie, and we all are, but you have to come to us if you're sad."
Carlos would have never predicted what happened next. Kendall drew back his fist and punched him square in the face.
Carlos stumbled back a little, his breath catching in his throat. "Go away! I don't need anyone's help! Get out of here!" Kendall shouted, tears running down his face.
Carlos let out a tiny sob, but he made sure Kendall didn't hear it. "Fine, I'll leave, just like you want! But when you need my help, I'm not going to help you!" He turned around and ran.
"Fine! I don't need your pathetic help anyways!" Kendall shouted back. The blonde boy watched as Carlos stumbled out of the park. He breathed heavily, red still in his vision.
Soon, he had calmed down. He looked down at his bruised knuckles. He still saw Carlos's hurt face clearly in the darkness.
Kendall slid down the ground again, fresh tears in his eyes.
"I-I'm a monster, Katie, aren't I?"
A/N- I'm SO SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO SORRY ABOUT THE SLOW UPDATE! I was just too busy last few weeks, ya know? But school's almost over! So yay!
And BTR's 4th season premieres May 2nd! Who's excited? I know I am!
I know you all probably hate me right now, but if you don't, please review this if you can, I need to know what you think! The next chapter's gonna have our next lucky person!
Peace, Love, and Giraffes,
Anonymous Skrtle
