It really feels regretful when I think of what I had done. Greater good my foot. It was selfish act that I decided to challenge Sol again. What happened after that was due to my genocidal thoughts. And it really isn't pleasant to think about the past when everything I had done was out of selfishness.

And the fact that my death was by a certain someone I killed, and she seemed very distressed about that fact. And the cause of my death was being severed by a chainsaw.

But you know? It's really great to have none of those thoughts on my head. It's just… really great not to think about wiping out the land dwellers, or the broken moraillegence.

The only problem? I still hate having this red blood.

My name is Eridan Ampora, and I am a highblood seadweller.

I sometimes go to the pool to be constantly reminded that I am a seadweller. Despite my new body of a human, my swimming capabilities were not hindered. But… it also reminds me that I am not a troll anymore. Missing horns don't bother me. The skin color doesn't bother me either. It did, at first. I struggled and those humans. The doctors. They had to sedate me. But… I can't breathe anymore. Not the way I used to. And… the horrid color of red under this pale skin…

But it took a week to adjust. A week to accept what I was now. I still wince when I see my blood color, but… what can I do?

So… beside the therapy and the swimming, I write letters to Fef. And many others. Even Sol. If they are here, anyways. I don't send them though. Just keep them, put them in envelopes and sigh. Maybe this is my punishment. A dream bubble, and I can't wake up.

But… I'm learning to enjoy it. I still am not going to be released any soon, but after I had calmed down, I had access to most of the human facility. Pool is one, but sometimes I go to the arcade, where there are… games. Human games related to shooting something. They are quite popular with younger patients, much younger than I am. I just shoot things. Reminds me back to the time when I used to be younger. Less responsible with my actions. Less aware of the consequences. Then sometimes, I feel the gazes from the nurses and the other female patients in the mental institution. I honestly don't know what to think of the unrequited red feelings aimed at me. Yes, it is quite queer to have them directed at me. The one who was subjected to hate and misery.

And I am reminded of Vriska once again. So I try to shake them off. I don't want their attention or love.

Let me tell the truth. Though… it is really hard for me to accept this. I am missing everyone. Everyone I used to like and I used to hate. I now realize… how much their absence leaves me.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Just being aware of what I had done leaves me guilty.

If others are here as well, even the humans, the first thing I would do is apologize.

And I still write letters, and in a way, hope that they will read them some day.