DISCLAIMER: NEVER HAVE I AND NEVER WILL I OWN BLEACH. I'm simply an ole' cougar who likes to play.
A/N screw what sly said this is the second to last installment of ConArtist. This right here will show that SLY does pay attention to what her reviewers want.
FOR MISZXBRII, your patience is greatly appreciated. And so I thank you.
SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO BBM: Let's turn it up another notch!
Starrk, Ichigo, Kazeshini, Rangiku, Kazeshini, Tousen, Grimmjow, etc etc
AU, OOC-ness, language, grammar, spelling, punctuation, switching views, slight-gender bender (sly's style) and some other goodies-
Read with caution and a free mind!
CONARTIST IS SUCH A STRONG WORD
Later that night as all the other occupants in the house slumbered Ichigo lie awake-he couldn't explain what it was but he simply felt restless.
He had to get up and do something.
Almost as if in a trance he climbed out of bed and walked over towards his bedroom and stared out into the dead of night at the unfinished garden-cursing himself (not for the first time) for neglecting his late mother's number one pride and joy.
Sometimes in the privacy of his own thoughts he liked to imagine that he had gone back in time and his parents were still alive-believed if he shut his eyes for a moment he could almost hear his mother's melodic voice as it drifted through the wind like a nightingale.
Could almost hear his loving but painfully moronic father up on the rooftop repairing the shingles-hooting along with the night owls.
Sometimes Ichigo wished to throw himself off the roof-or impale himself on a gardening rake-he'd give almost anything to be reunited with his parents once more.
Here he was almost 20 years of age and he still couldn't fully accept their untimely deaths-still thought it was stupid that just because his father had taken his last breath his mother had followed just a moment or two after.
It was the kind of thing that wasn't supposed to happen in reality-bonded souls-two beings sharing one life line-surely it had to be a joke-a lie-because his parents probably hadn't wished to tell him the truth-wished to keep him in the dark of what had really stripped their lives away from them.
Sometimes Ichigo blamed himself-thinking that his parents' death was due to his simply existing-he didn't know why he felt this way but he did.
Ichigo believed him self to be cursed-wretched-undeserving-he kept others at a distance because he did not wish to taint them-taint them with his blackened soul.
As a result this kind of behavior led to others calling him 'cold, disconnected, antisocial, moody' and a variety of other labels that he did not wish to repeat even in the privacy of his own mind.
Ichigo could not blame any one but himself for his failed relationships-he was cursed and so in the long run his potential lovers were simply better off with out him.
Still even knowing this about himself Ichigo did not stop flirting-did not stop sending out 'please come and fuck me signals' to potential hot blooded grade A alpha males.
It wasn't that he enjoyed messing with their emotions exactly he simply saw no point in worrying about consequences when whatever romantic connection he made was destined for disaster.
Even if there was that tiny voice telling him that not all love was doomed-Ichigo usually kicked it down.
He purposely set his sights on men who were more or less untouchable-unattainable-it some how made things easier.
Yes he knew his logic was not logical at all-knew that Karma would back and bite him HARD!
But he couldn't bring himself to care.
He refused to bond himself to another knowing they would be ripped away from him one day.
It wouldn't be easy to shut off his emotions again (it got harder and harder each time) but he had to do it.
It was the only way he could keep their souls pure.
Ichigo would let every last one of them down gently-let them do to him whatever they wished to do to him and then he would return home and focus his energy back on the garden letting a few months pass before he was ready to go out and repeat the cycle all over again.
Days, weeks, months, years would pass-he would continue going through the motions until he was a miserable lonely dried up wrinkled geezer with only his albino cat for company.
As if sensing his masters' inner thought a large white feline came into the room just then-brushing its long tail against it's masters' naked ankle.
Ichigo knelt down and scratched the albino neko behind its ears. "Sometimes I wish you were human Shiro, then I wouldn't have to try and be someone I'm not."
The feline purred loudly just then before knocking its orange haired master off balance and onto the plush carpeting-resting its' heavy paws on the human's chest.
"Always so pushy," Ichigo laughed-he'd swear his neko was laughing at him-golden eyes glittering in the darkness-it was probably just them moonlight playing tricks on him-still he lazily played with the feline's tail. "Who do you think I should I say good bye to first eh Shiro?"
()()()
An hour before sun rise…
The sun hadn't even risen and yet Starrk was anxious to start the new day.
He reached a decision before his head had met the pillow last night-he would not wait until the end of the week-that was too far away-instead he would set off today to see Lady Rangiku.
And he was going to drag Kazeshini along with him.
Yes he decided in addition to finding out more about Ichigo-he wished to uncover who Kazeshini really was-the young chef enjoyed playing around so much Starrk wasn't quite sure he believed anything that had been said.
()()
Past relationships and common sense taught the Coyote that he should never try and conduct 'business' with out plenty of caffeine in his system-so after he showered and dressed for the day, Starrk made his way downstairs.
Not entirely surprised to see Kazeshini setting the table.
The young male took one look at the Coyote, rolled his eyes and then made his way over to the counter and put coffee beans in the grinder.
Wondering (not for the first time) if Kazeshini was not quite from this universe-Starrk pulled out a chair and sat down.
()()
Less than an hour and 4 cups of coffee later…
Starrk wasn't so sure he wished to hear what ever it was the pale-eyed male was about to tell him but he figured it was better to hear it now rather never.
()()
Kazeshini fiddled with the dials on the radio for a few minutes before settling on the yodeling sounds of a country star from overseas.
It was an odd choice of music but Starrk ignored it in favor of pressing the younger male for more information.
After a moment or two Kazeshini spoke "Grimm is what I like to call a returner, meaning quite obviously someone who has returned-returned from what or where or for who you're probably askin' yourself? But that's the wrong question you see-what you want to ask is why?
And the answer is: During my second day at the mansion he tried to steal from Ichigo-would have been successful to if I hadn't pulled the rug out from under him and whacked him over the head with a bat.
Ichigo doesn't remember any of this of course-how could he? Grimm was wearing a mask over his face-the only way I knew it was him was because I had seen the bastard with out his mask before he went to commit the crime.
But it wasn't money, jewels or even furniture that Grimm wanted-no he wanted the young master himself-course I didn't know this until all of those pictures spilled out of his coat when I knocked him unconscious.
When he came to and I demanded to know what the fuck he thought he was doing he confessed to having watched Ichigo for awhile-I was pissed yet at the same time couldn't really blame the guy-I mean watching Ichigo is a favorite past time of mine as well.
Starrk clenched and unclenched his fists-once again feeling the urge to unleash the wolf and-
"And then he just randomly decided to become a repair man?"
()()()
Kazeshini shrugged, "What can I say? Love/Lust/Obsession what ever you want to call it makes people do all sorts of things. Take Nemu-san for example when she thinks no one else is looking she goes into the young masters bathroom and well I'm not really sure what she does in there but I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with cleaning."
When he saw the way the Coyote was glaring Kazeshini cleared his throat "But anyway even though the young master enjoys flirting with Grimm it won't get any further than that-he trailed off when the Coyote started to well he wasn't sure what the man was doing-howling wasn't quite the proper word-and growling didn't seem accurate either but-
"Who else?"
"Who else what?" The young chef played dumb.
Deep gray eyes narrowed to thin, sharp slits "Do not play with me-who else has their sights set on my berry?"
"Hmm now let me think…don't know the guys name but I'm pretty sure just the other day when the young master came back from one of his errands he was-
"He was what?"
"Well Ichigo was limping-said he fell off a ladder but its just not like him-he's not the clumsy type-
()()
Starrk saw red-only the voice in his head that sounded so much like Lilinettte could keep him from doing something drastic at this point.
He gripped the steering wheel, digging his blunt nails into the leather "What do you mean he was limping?"
()()
Kazeshini shrugged.
Sure he had been pissed at first but he had no claim over the orange berry-he probably shouldn't have even told the goateed male but he reasoned if Starrk really wanted Ichigo he should not be kept in the dark on what the young master may/may not do during his 'errand time.'
"Shall we take a little trip before going to this gypsy of yours?"
A moment of silence and then…
"No. Nothing else will be done until I've spoken with Lady Rangiku."
()()
After a ridiculous long drive and 5 bathroom breaks later they arrived…
"Oh my if I had know two of Karakura Town's most eligible bastards were coming over to visit me this morning I would have put on something sexier," Rangiku frowned when she noticed that neither the chef nor the 'gardener' even pretended to act as though they were interested in her, let out a sigh and ushered the duo inside.
()()()
She had to admit she was a bit surprised that they had known where to find her actual house-then again the Coyote wasn't exactly the average man-and from the looks of things neither was his companion.
"Save the pleasantries for someone else Lady Rangiku, you know why we're here."
Rangiku couldn't help but giggle. "My my what an angry expression, are you really the same handsome gentleman who shared my tent with me just a few short days ago?"
The Coyote narrowed his gray eyes and the buxom ginger blonde abandoned all attempts at flirting and played with the gemstone around her neck as she waited for the man to continue.
Powder blues swept over his form-once again trying to figure out why he gave her an outer-worldly sort of feeling.
She couldn't quite put her finger on-it was best to consult her tea cup and crystal ball.
"It was you who brought me here Lady Rangiku, that day in the tent and now-although I still have yet to put al the pieces together I have a feeling you're using some type of old gypsy magic with a modern twist."
"Now wait just a minute what makes you thi-
"Please stop lying Lady Rangiku. I hate to raise my voice to a woman."
"I-I'm not lying."
And she wasn't-she had just conveniently left out a few minor details.
()()()
Starrk frowned feeling rather confused "You told me Ichigo was your former student-told me that although he might have many admirers I had no reason to worry-he would be mine without question."
"And he will-while I admit there might have been a few erm setbacks it doesn't matter you see-Ichigo is a very troubled young man and he doesn't kno-
"Doesn't know what he's doing? Don't you dare insult Ichigo in front of me!"
Starrk hadn't expected Kazeshini to lash out at the woman just then-he thought he had seen the young chef angry before but that was nothing compared to the expression the younger male was wearing now.
Nothing compared to the thunderous aura rolling off of him.
()()
Lady Rangiku pulled her robe more closely around her-as if fighting a sudden chill that had come over her body.
Then quite with out warning she stood up and went into the other room-only to return a moment or two later balancing a teapot and 3 cups on a silver tray, her crystal globe and a colorful scarf.
Before they could go any further she had to find out more about this "Kazeshini" character.
()()()
"I make it a rule to get to know a little bit about my clients before telling them what they wish to know,"-Rangiku rested her chin in the palm of her hand and studied the pale eyed individual seated across from her "Kaze-kun what can you tell me about yourself-it can be anything from a favorite food to music to the best relationship you've ever been in-or it can be something you've never shared with anyone."
The male with two-tone colored hair and a rather interesting shade of skin tone glared at Rangiku for a moment before offering a response "I'm a criminal-or rather I was up until a short while ago."
Somehow Rangiku doubted that the young male was telling the truth but she encouraged him to continue "And how exactly did you meet Ichigo?"
"What can I say," here he offered her a cheeky sort of grin "Guess I grew tiered of slaughtering animals and tiny babies for a living-after a while all that blood kind of got to me so my cousin Shu turns to me and says 'Kaze how would you like to work for a too-sexy-for-his own good young master who goes around in nothing but short shorts' and I said 'Sign me up right now."
Rangiku nodded. "Anything else you care to share?"
"Hmm every now and then if I'm feeling in a particularly sadistic mood I like to bring a little knife play into the bedroom-nothing life threatening-just a lil splash or two of crimson-never could quite kick the habit even if I did give up the satanic cult lifestyle."
"Really well that is certainly quite something-let us take a deeper look using this shall we
Rangiku's crystal ball was not an average crystal ball-it was a rare one of a kind which had been passed down to her from her ancestors-it not only showed her and her clients the future, it showed the past, dreams, memories and illusions of her own making-not that she'd tell the two men this-at least not yet.
She took a few sips from her tea cup and began
'Kare "Kazeshini" Shigure-Kouya-kun, "Kaze" for short, age 22, one half brother who is 2 months older than him. Kaze ran away from home when his parents announced they were sending him to a bible camp, wound up being raised by an elderly woman who had mistaken him for her dead son, Kou
Having very little to do in order to entertain himself during the day Kaze watched the cooking channel and read lines with his adopted mother, the dear sweet woman had a real fondness for classics-her favorite being A Midsummer Night's Dream.
Kaze became a modern day puck, growing out his hair, frosting the tips and then dying it red.
When he turned 16 he won a round way trip to Italy in an illegal poker game and wound up working in a café.
Then he returned home at 19-working various odd jobs up until just recently shortly after his 22nd birthday, Kaze found himself landing a position as a personal chef."
"So basically everything that came out of your mouth was a lie? Even the fact that your cousin is actually your half brother."
"Same father, different mother, who gives a shit? Anyway who cares what I've done up until now-my life and who I am is nobodies fucking business!"
Never in all her readings had Rangiku ever received such an explosive response.
She looked from the Coyote to the chef and back again.
()()()
Kazeshini felt a bit annoyed-make that really annoyed.
How the hell had some modern day gypsy with monstrous sized tits pegged him in the span of less than 5 minutes?
What the hell?
Here he had thought the woman to be a complete floozy-a fake but now he knew better-ditzy ness and all, this woman was the real deal.
Deciding that throwing a tantrum wouldn't do any one any good Kazeshini decided to ask the woman a question or two of his own "How exactly did you get started and more importantly why did you send this guy (he pointed to the goateed male seated next to him) after Ichigo?"
Even with her reddened cheeks and slight hiccup (showing signs of alcohol intoxication) the ginger blonde answer was not slurred.
"You can hardly blame me for seeking out the best potential candidates in order to insure my nephews' happiness."
"Nephew? You told me Ichigo was your student?"
The woman nodded "Yes he was my student as well-sadly he never had the patience to truly unlock his power-but that doesn't really matter anymore."
"Wait a minute! So then this pup here got it right-you brought him to you-told him that he should go seek out Ichigo-
"I may have sprinkled a little gypsy magic in the air but I am not the one who writes destiny-the higher powers are in control of that."
"What exactly do you mean by that-you either did or didn't bring him to you."
"I am merely on a mission to put a stop to Ichigo's bad choices in men. Any aunt or mother in my position would do the same. And although you sit there with a glower on your face Kaze-kun, you yourself know you would not have accompanied the Coyote here if you didn't believe he was worthy of the young master's hand."
Kazeshini couldn't argue. The woman was right. She was right.
"Fine but what now? How do we take it to the next step?"
()()()
Around 9-ish in the morning…
Ichigo received the call when he was in the middle of having breakfast with Inoue, Rukia, Nel and Tatsuki.
Quietly excusing himself from the table Ichigo walked to a secluded corner in the café and then scrolled through his messages and played them back.
Of all the people he expected to call him-Kariya Jin was not one of them. It was so out of the blue-he hadn't seen the man in a very long time-they hadn't exactly ended on the best of terms-
But in Ichigo's defense it wasn't exactly his fault-the damn thing had just flown out of his hand-he had more common sense and respect then that-he would not just break a priceless antique.
Not that Kariya gave him a chance to explain-the man had simply pushed him out the door after saying 'You are clearly a child-I have no interest in a child'
Even though Ichigo had know better he had grown attached and continuing stalking the man-pleading for another chance-
'What would my mother think if she were still alive? She'd hate you for turning away her one and only son as he stands on your doorstep pouring his heart out to you?'
It had taken Ichigo a good half an hour and lots of over the top crocodile tears before Kariya had let him back inside.
They agreed to go out for coffee under one condition "Do not touch me-do not look at me and for your mother's sake do try and act your age.'
And so they went to the café and no matter how much he pouted-the man acted as though he didn't even exist-so Ichigo stormed off.
Not running into each other until a month or two later-he was at a court house-paying off an unjust speeding ticket-only he didn't have to because Kariya had shown up and paid for him-then following this Kariya invited him out for cheesecake.
Okay so maybe they hadn't ended on the worst of terms but Kariya had eventually stopped talking to him and Ichigo had eventually stopped going over to the house up on the hill and his aunt Rangiku had never been more thrilled.
Sometimes in the privacy of his own thoughts the orange berry wondered if the ginger blonde had said something to the man-maybe she had-he shook his head-
Deciding it didn't matter.
Kariya wished to see him and heaven help him Ichigo kind of wanted to see Kariya-only this time around maybe he'd call the man Jin.
He sent the man a text telling him that he would be delighted to meet around 1 in the afternoon and then returned to his table.
After all it wouldn't be right to abandon his female companions just so he could run off, run home and rummage through his closet in the hopes of finding the most perfect outfit before going to see his almost-ex
()()
"Everything alright ichigo?"
"Ah."
Tatsuki looked doubtful but let it slide. "Anyway Nel was just telling us about her latest screen play-Nel why don't you repeat it for Ichigo?"
Hazel green-eyes sparkle before the bubbly woman with sea-green colored hair opened her mouth "Well like I was telling the girls I'm going for a completely new angle this time around-more raw-more edgy-
()()()
Apparently Lady Rangiku became rather drained after every 'fortune telling' and so she had decided to take a break and instead recount the days of Ichigo's childhood-which Starrk truly had no complaints about since he firmly believed that events and occurrences in life shaped and molded individuals into who they were meant to become.
Still he was anxious to get back to the real reason he was here.
"Enough with trips down memory lane since I much rather have Ichigo himself telling me."
The woman pouted and Starrk rolled his eyes.
"Don't give me that. My patience is wearing thin, now please could we just move on-what is the next step I need to take in order to get my human heater."
Rangiku did not answer right away…
()()
Kariya was still just as attractive as ever as he stood in the doorway making a silky button down shirt, tie and slacks look sinful in a way only a man like him could.
It might have been awhile but Ichigo had not forgotten-he would never forget that
Rich and thick white head of hair which was styled in a rather unique sort of way-sometimes giving the appearance of ears on a wild animal -in addition to the ears themselves which were partially pointed, beneath thick arched brows a stunning pair of ruby red eyes (which the man had insisted were not contacts) prominent cheek bones and partially pointed chin (not quite diamond shaped but close to it) thin lips-stained with coffee-hard and muscular body- despite having seen it many times before Ichigo swallowed suddenly feeling rather thirsty-Kariya Jin-a great white wolf fused with a vampire-
Ichigo realized he probably would sound like an idiot if he voiced such thoughts out loud but he couldn't think of a better way to describe the man.
And yet even as he practically drooled on the man's front door step a cloud of guilt washed over the orange berry just then-something was telling him that he shouldn't have come here-something was telling him-he shook his head-he had every right to admire Jin if he wanted to-yes there was no harm in-
"I certainly have no objections to standing outside with you all day but as I recall you like your tea best when it's hot, right Ichigo?"
Right now Ichigo didn't really care about tea-didn't care about much of anything except "Can I use your bathroom?"
()()()
The trio was in the middle of debating about whether or not it would be a wise idea to hire professional hit men in order to eliminate the Coyote's competition when Rangiku felt an all too familiar wave come over her.
Old habits die hard.
Her dear nephew was at it once again-revisiting an old flame-she shook her head, knowing she had to do something before it headed in the direction that it looked like it was headed for-but first
"Gentleman I want to make one more thing perfectly clear before we go any further
"Something about Ichigo?"
She nodded. "He is not as innocent at you might have previously been led to believe."
At a raised brow she continued, "What I mean is although he hasn't officially gone the full mile, he's not exactly erm pure."
"Is there a point to this Lady Rangiku?"
She noted the irritation in the Coyote's voice and decided that it wouldn't be wise to drag it out any further-
"My crystal ball is no ordinary crystal ball-in other words it will not only show the future but-
"The past as well?"
It was almost frightening how the young chef seemed to know what she was going to say before she said it.
"Is there something in the past that I should know of?"
"Well not exactly but-listen its best if I just show it to you."
The Coyote sounded far past irritated and was slipping into angry-the table shook-
"Get on with it!"
()()
Ichigo was doing what he was about to do for one reason and one reason only-letting go and saying goodbye
He set down his dessert fork and leaned over the table in a somewhat barbaric fashion-getting a good grip on the man's tie and then pulling him towards into a fierce and final kiss.
Jin tasted of cream cheese, raspberry scones and something entirely and uniquely him-Ichigo noted that all though it was still a wonderful flavor something was telling him there was a better one out there-yet to be explored discovered and so he released the man and sat back, a light smile playing on his lips.
Quite possibly the best goodbye kiss ever if he did say so himself.
"Enjoying yourself Ichigo?"
"I am but don't get the wrong idea-what I did just now-forget it happened."
The man's face was unreadable but after a moment or two "Already forgotten." He lifted his teacup to his lips and took a few sips before setting it down and continuing "But you know if you ever change your mind somewhere down the line, I'll be here."
Ichigo frowned. Feeling cheated some how.
Damn nonchalant bastard-that wasn't how it was supposed to play out.
Kariya was supposed to knock the table over and then ravish him on the cold marble stone floor.
It was supposed to be the perfect goodbye kiss followed up by goodbye sex.
Oral of course-he wasn't quite ready to show his branded behind to anyone.
"You wonder why I do not reciprocate?"
"Well, yeah."
"You feel nothing for me which is fine-in fact if Masaki were still alive she'd have my head for ever letting you so near in the first place."
'I don't care about any of that!' Ichigo wished to scream. 'Kaa-san was very open-minded and my happiness was very important to her-just hurry up already and give me something special to remember you by'
A moment later Ichigo felt guilty.
What the hell was he thinking just now?
'Rangiku was right I have no judgment when it comes to men-still' (2)
"But then why contact me at all?"
"Because I like to torture myself-its kind of like a pretty treasure kept behind glass-if taken out it becomes-marred, tainted, ruined. I am not so selfish as to do that to you, Ichigo."
"Then you still have some interest in me?"
"Of course. I would be a liar if I said I did not."
Ichigo furrowed his brows. Why did so many damn people in his life have to be some damn confusing and contradictory?
"Can we do something besides sit here and eat cake?"
After a moment or two of silence the man stood up and beckoned the orange berry to follow him into the next room.
()()
"You will sing for me-that is the gift you will give to me before you depart."
()()
Kazeshini nearly choked on his ramen. He had no idea the young master could sing. He looked to the modern gypsy-the woman was wearing a fond smile on her face-
"Did I forget to tell you? Back when he was in grade school Ichigo was one of the most talented members in the all boys choir. My sister was so proud of him-we all were," she frowned slightly "He gave it up when he turned 15, said it hurt too much-but maybe he was just embarrassed or something. Even I don't always know what is going on in my dearest nephew's mind."
He looked over to the Coyote not at all surprised to find an angry scowl on the older man's face.
()()()
To say that Starrk was not happy wasn't nearly strong enough to describe what he was feeling/thinking at the moment-
Why exactly was Lady Rangiku showing him this?
Was she trying to scare him off?
He glared at the woman but she seemed to have developed a resistance to it-either that or the sake was clouding her perception among other things-
Starrk had let the kiss slide since after all Ichigo was still technically free to do whatever he wanted to do even if it did irk him-but he wasn't so sure he would want to stick around and watch what happened next-sure singing had seemed innocent enough but those eyes-this "Kariya Jin' character had the kind of eyes that spoke of not-so innocent things.
Honestly the Coyote just wished to rise up out of his chair, track down the man who dared to make such a request from his berry and-
()()()
"Why don't we return to this in a few minutes shall we?" Rangiku placed her scarf over the crystal ball, blew into her tea cup and then lifted the scarf off once again-
The scene was entirely different-
()()()
A man with long white-blond hair sat in what looked to be a library or a study lost in thought or concentrating on the text in front of him-it was difficult to tell.
Starrk looked to Lady Rangiku and she simply winked and mouthed the word "Watch" to him before blowing into her tea cup once more-
Almost as if on cue or like a poorly written porno another man with wavy brown hair came swaggering in-stumbling slightly as he made his way over to the white haired male.
Despite being quite smashed-the man could easily navigate his way around the dimly lit library-
"Ju-chan," a sing-song voice "Put down the book and come and play with me."
At Starrk's raised brow Rangiku just smiled and redirected his attention to the globe
"Something on your mind Ju-chan," the happy drunk asked as he started playing with 'Ju-chan's' white long locks-bringing it up to his nose and inhaling its sweet scent.
At last 'Ju-chan' spoke "It's nothing much Shun. I've just been thinking about Ichigo-kun lately."
"Ah I see well then perhaps you should invite him over?"
'Ju-chan' looked horrified "What are you suggesting? Ju-Just because he's in my thoughts from time to time doesn't mean-the man trailed off when Shun started to nuzzle his nose into the crook of his neck-making his lover turn a lovely powder pink color in the process-"What are you-st-!"
"Say Ju-chan I know your birthday is still awhile away but since I was out of town on your last one I'll make it up to you-
"What are y-'Ju-chan' jumped as his shameless lover started to tug his robe away from his body, peppering the flushed skin with kisses-
"Let's invite Ichigo over for a lil' fun."
()()()
Starrk felt his patience wearing thinner-he clenched and unclenched his fists-wishing to just smash the stupid globe into millions of tiny pieces-wishing to slit the throats of the shameless geezers who dared to daydream about his berry.
()()()
When Rangiku took note of the gentleman's animalistic snarl she decided it was time to switch the scene again-maybe Ichigo will have left Jin by now-
Not quite!
()()
The man had instructed Ichigo to stare out the window while he was singing-Starrk had not understood why the man had made such a bizarre request until Mr. Ruby Eyes went to unzip his pants…
Kariya wrapped a fist around his angry pulsing red organ and began to jerk off in time with the music.
Starrk looked over at Rangiku-not surprised in the least to find the blonde looking all glossy eyed and fanning herself.
He was not amused.
Yes Ichigo had a lovely voice but to masturbate to it-how dare the man do such a thing!
Deciding he had seen more than he had ever wanted to see Starrk grabbed the scarf from the ginger blonde and covered the globe once more.
He moved to stand up only to find the woman pulling him back down.
"Sit down. We are not finished."
Starrk wished to slap the woman's hand away but it was not in his nature.
He looked to his pale eyed companion who hadn't said or done anything in awhile-actually from the looks of things Kazeshini had apparently fallen asleep to the sweet sounds of Ichigo's voice.
Maybe I should do the same?
Yes that's why I'm so cranky I haven't had my 14 hours of sleep lately.
()()()
When Rangiku took note of the Coyote's simmering aura she deemed it safe to lift the scarf once more-
A familiar blue haired grade A too cocky for his own good repair man stood in front of a full-length mirror flexing his muscles and apparently giving himself some sort of ra-ra pep talk or something.
"You are one sexy bastard." He said to his reflection
The reflection grinned back at him "Thanks I try."
Grimmjow raised a brow "Try? Modesty doesn't suit you."
"Nah it really doesn't. Why try and down play?"
"Exactly I know right, who wouldn't want a piece of this?"
"Why a piece when they could have the whole freakin' platter?"
Starrk really wasn't sure how he should react to this-next to him Kazeshini (who had apparently woken up) was snickering.
"Look at that-he can even flex his nose and ears." The snickering continued "Wonder if he does this everyday."
"He does." Lady Rangiku was wearing a grin, which morphed into a full blown smirk as she continued "Sometimes he even gets off on his own reflection."
"Enough! Lady Rangiku I didn't come here to watch Ichigo play with his other suitors-nor did I come here to watch random bastards jack off-if we could kindly get back to what matters most I would greatly appreciate it."
A moment or two passed and then
"My dear Coyote, you need to have patience. These things take time."
()()()
Concluding it was best not to actually touch the man with her own fingers at this time-Rangiku reached into her bathrobe and pulled out the blue-white orb still encased in the glass box and pressed it into his hands- "This will help."
She didn't further elaborate even though it was clear he wanted her to.
"On the night you are with Ichigo be sure to use this-then come back to me on the following day."
The man frowned wondering what the hell he was supposed to do with some strange orb inside a box.
He looked to Kazeshini, seeing if perhaps the younger male had some idea but he seemed just as baffled.
Rangiku smiled. Everything was going to work out just fine-she would make sure of it.
()()()
After leaving Lady Rangiku's Starrk decided that instead of returning to Ichigo's mansion he would go home.
He was not giving up!
Wouldn't even dream of such a thing-no he simply felt that it was best to talk with his sister-he figured if any one could dig him out of his little white lie it would be her.
First things first he had to convince Kazeshini to keep yet another one of his secrets.
"I'm going away for a short while but I'll be back in a few days. If you could just tell Ichigo that-
"That you what got lost on some random road-
Starrk didn't have the patience for the chef's sarcasm at this point. "Just tell him I've gone away to meditate for a few days up in the mountains. Tell him that I am sorry for the short notice but it had completely slipped my mind until my sister called to remind me."
"What the hell? You're going to walk away from your job so you can go and play with your kid sister?"
"No I'm going to find a way to finish Ichigo's garden but I don't want you to tell him that."
"You want me to lie to the young master?' Naturally as Starrk had expected Kazeshini didn't sound to happy about that.
"You lie to everyone else," he pointed out.
The younger male scowled. "That's different."
Starrk raised a brow "How?"
"Never mind how!" Kazeshini snarled out "I won't do it."
Starrk wasn't backing down. He had dealt with men who were twice as stubborn as the two-tone haired chef.
()()()
A few nights later…well technically it was late in the afternoon but anyway…
"Only you would agree to go out with two men on the same night, Ichigo."
"You say it like it's a bad thing I mean get off my back already Rukia it's not like I'm committed to anyone."
"Oh no that would be too much to hope for." The sarcasm in the raven-haired girls' tone was crystal clear.
Ichigo fumed. "Shut up and just tell me if I look okay?"
"Hm, turn."
The berry did as his annoying female friend instructed and slowly rotated so she could see every angle of the outfit he had selected.
"Well?"
"Not bad I mean it doesn't exactly say date night but-
"Forget it," Ichigo started tugging on the collar of his shirt-suddenly feeling too constricted.
Even though he was meeting Tousen-san after his date with Grimmjow-perhaps the berry should just stick to what he liked best instead of worrying about what every one else would think.
Rukia, in her typical non-helpful style just laughed at him "And what's up with that hair?"
Ichigo scowled and threw his hands up in the air "I give up, you're of no help to me at all-I'll just ask someone else."
"Like who? All of the members on your cleaning staff went off to the circus earlier this morning remember-I'm the only one you got well unless you count Shiro but he's just a cat."
As if knowing the raven-haired girl was talking about him the albino neko entered the living room just then and clawed at her dress.
"Shiro stop that!"
Much as Rukia irritated him from time to time that was no excuse for his overly jealous feline to attack her.
The neko flinched as if burned and then glowered at its owner.
Rukia laughed "I swear he has the spirit of a man trapped in his body."
Ichigo was about to open his mouth in order to respond when the door bell rang…
()()()
"Hi Ichigo."
His long lost gardener standing outside his front door looking like he had certainly seen better days.
Honestly when Kazeshini had told him that the Coyote was going away to meditate in the mountains Ichigo hadn't expected to ever see the man again-on top of which he was only a step away or two away from contacting Howling Landscapes and threaten to sue them for making his late mother's garden not better but worse.
But any thoughts of suing or lashing out at the man vanished as he took note of Starrk's unusually pale and clammy skin, blood shot eyes and hoarse voice.
()()
Starrk had no one but himself to blame but at the same time everyone knew that nothing came for free.
Still it would have been nice if Lilinette had mentioned that more then 2/3rd of her drama team were sick-would've been nice if she had given him a warning or at least a facemask or something.
'Suck it up Starrk! I'm going to help you get one step closer to your orange heater and in return you're gonna help me and my crew set up stage and you better do a damn good job to or so help me I'll make you regret it.'
And so he had and now he was back on Ichigo's doorstep waiting to be let inside.
"Ichigo I'm leaving now."
He didn't recognize the voice but was glad that it was clearly female and not male.
"Alright Rukia see you later."
()()()
The Coyote looked like he was going to fall over any moment and Ichigo asked himself 'Is it really alright to leave him by himself-the rest of the staff are out and about and I myself am ready to leave so no one will be around to watch him-granted he's a grown man but still-'
Ichigo knew if he were in the man's shoes right now he would not wish to be left alone for such a long period of time.
'Maybe I should just call Grimm and Tousen-san and try and reschedule?'
Yet even with these thoughts Ichigo did not want to cancel his plans-he felt torn.
()()()
Once the world stopped spinning Starrk took notice of the orange berry-Ichigo was looking extra delicious this evening-traded in his t-shirt and jeans for midnight blue v-neck sweater khaki pants-smelling of sweet peppermint tooth paste with a touch of something the Coyote couldn't quite place at the moment.
He had smelled it before-that day up in the young master's bedroom.
Starrk cursed his cold-if only he wasn't sick he could finally reach out and touch Ichigo, taste Ichigo, become completely wrapped up in his human heater leaving no room for protest as he would sweep the berry up the stairs into his guest room and-
The orange berry looked adorably conflicted-actually almost everything Ichigo did was somehow adorable in Starrk's opinion.
()()(0
It shouldn't have been a surprise when Starrk started tipping forward and Ichigo caught him-and yet it was a pleasant surprise
()()
Wouldn't be the first time Ichigo had taken care of a friend-not that his gardener was a friend exactly (although he'd certainly like it if the man was-if not more) Actually if Ichigo was going to be completely honest with himself he wished gardener was definitely more than a friend.
He shook his head
'What the hell is wrong with me? Thinking such thoughts when he's clearly feeling under the weather?'
The weight on Ichigo's shoulder suddenly increased-following this a soft snore pulling the orange haired youth out of his inner bashing session and back to what mattered.
()()
Starrk wasn't light but he wasn't ridiculously heavy either-still Ichigo had to use caution as he guided his long limbed gardener to the bed.
Pulling the covers over the still lightly snoring figure Ichigo moved to leave when…
An arm shot out and pulled him down-and now Ichigo was trapped underneath the sleeping Coyote's arm.
And he started to feel a little dizzy himself-tempted to nestle his body even more closely only to snap to his senses when he felt his pocket vibrate.
Ichigo carefully extracted himself out from under the man and then left a pillow in his place.
Almost feeling guilty when an almost inhuman sound came out of the man's mouth-that mouth-sweet butter creams-Ichigo was almost sure of it-oh how he wished to just abandon his silly rules and give into temptation.
Nobody had to know.
But no he could not take advantage of a sick Coyote.
'Fuck! What the hell is wrong with me?'
Cursing himself once more Ichigo stood up and decided that it was time to-
His pocket vibrated again-most likely Grimmjow-no doubt ranting and bitching about how he needed to 'hurry his ass up and get over to the pool hall'
Ichigo rolled his eyes and mentally cursed himself for ever agreeing to go out with the demanding bastard-even though a part of him liked Grimm's 'I am King hear me ROAR!' persona but-
He flipped open his phone and pressed it to his ear
"Yeah?"
Sure enough just as he had guessed it was Grimmjow.
(( You better not be thinking of standing me up brat or I swear the next time I see you I'll do a hell of a lot more with my wrench besides pull an appliance or two apart.))
Ichigo scowled. "I'll be there in half an hour-it's only 5 o' clock don't be such a drama queen."
He heard the man grumble before saying ((You're lucky your hot brat or I would whip you black and blue.))
"I'll be there so just keep your pants on."
((Too late.)) He could tell the man was grinning. And then Grimmjow hung up.
Ichigo rolled his eyes once more and then focused back on the task at hand, checking to see if Starrk had a fever and if so what kind of medicines he should collect in order to nurse the man back to health.
()()
Finding no sign of a fever (thankfully) Ichigo made his way downstairs into the kitchen where he prepared a hot bowl of soup and a pot of tea by the stove.
()()
At about 15 minutes to six Ichigo locked the door to his house after leaving an extra cup of tea on the nightstand in the guest room-along with the note and then set off for his first date of the night.
()()
Ichigo never quite understand why the game of pool seemed to be one of the more favored activities for one to do on a date-but he supposed it was at least a little better than the cliché dinner and a movie.
Still it all seemed rather stupid-hitting a bunch of tiny colored and numbered balls into a hole didn't exactly seem like anything special-a monkey could do it-course a monkey playing pool would at least make it a little more interesting because it could play the game with his feet or something.
Ichigo honestly didn't know why he always let his mind drift away from him-it wasn't like he had a short attention span-he simply felt that some things (shooting pool in this case) was a complete waste of time.
However not all was lost-there were a few highlights-When Grimmjow showed the magnificent muscles in his arms when he rolled up his sleeves for example or the way a single stray lock of hair fell into his electric blue eyes-the way his jaw would clench and unclench when he became particularly annoyed with an imperfect shot.
And as for the pool table it self-there was simply something sexy about the velvety green fabric-it seemed to be calling out to the orange haired male.
Ichigo had never considered doing something naughty right out in the middle of public but maybe-?
"ID?"
Ichigo cursed as a heavy-set figure loomed over him-reeking of cheap tobacco and smoked bacon-bandana tied to his sweaty forehead "LET ME SEE YOUR ID, KID."
He didn't have an idea of course because he was underage and shouldn't have been in a pool hall in the first place and he had tried to tell his date as much when they first met outside the front door but Grimmjow had simply waved it off-claimed to know the guy who owned the place.
Ichigo felt like slapping himself for being so quick to believe what was clearly a lie-he rolled his eyes at his own stupidity and his repair man's and then motioned to the blue haired male.
Grimmjow of course was too damn into his stupid game-too damn into checking out the waitresses' ass-too damn busy flexing his muscles for who ever was looking his way-
In short he was doing a damn good job of pissing the orange haired male off!
There were a couple of ways Ichigo could handle this-he could storm out and never look back-then change his number so Grimmjow could never contact him again, go home and have a good wanking session and then crawl into bed.
He could make it known to every single person in the bar (male and female) that Grimmjow was his!
Or he could simply drag the blue haired male out the door and demand to be taken elsewhere.
Decisions, decisions.
()()()
"Having fun, brat?"
"No, no really."
Ichigo felt like kind of an ass for admitting that this so called date was actually pretty lame so far but at the same time he saw no reason to lie to Grimmjow. "But like I told you earlier when I first showed up, it's not really my scene."
Blue eyes narrowed for a minute-and then with out further warning Ichigo found himself being pulled into an alley and pushed up against the wall of an abandoned building.
He tried to ignore the smell of garbage and urine and just focus on the man pinning him to the wall-feeling some what annoyed that said man had made his hands immobile for the moment.
Still there was no point to sulk or snarl-using his legs Ichigo brought Grimmjow closer to him finding great delight when a certain not quite human sound came out of the other man.
Nicotine, menthol and leather invaded each and every one of his senses when their mouths finally locked.
()()
In all of his 25 years Starrk couldn't ever recall a time when he tossed and turned in his sleep like he was doing at this very moment.
He didn't know why he felt so discontent when he woke up an empty room to find a pillow clutched under his arm-couldn't remember why he was in the room in the first place.
The last thing he recalled was…
When Starrk went to visit Lilinette for advice on what he should do about Ichigo's garden, the girl with tea green hair had announced that she was moving out of their family home and moving in with her fellow actors from the drama studio-
'You can visit if you want to just make sure you always have plenty of licorice before entering.'
He offered her a wry smile. 'I'll be sure to remember that.'
Lilinette drained the last of her banana and chocolate milk shake before offering him a seat-
"Alright sit down and tell me what went wrong this time."
"Well nothing went wrong exactly its just I kind of lost my temper and-
"And what? You put your berry heater in a coma or something?"
"No I didn't do anything to Ichigo and that's the problem."
Lilinette raised a brow "I don't follow, what exactly is the problem? You followed the rules right?"
Starrk nodded. "To the T but-
"There is no but about it Starrk. You either did or didn't sweep the berry off his feet and into your shared bedroom."
"Shared bedr-Lili what exactly kind of mansion do you think Ichigo is running?"
The girl rolled her eyes. "So go on, what happened next?"
"Well he has a lot of admirers and getting him alone is proving to be quite the challenge well except for the first day when he discovered me asleep in his bed."
"WHAT?"
Starrk ducked out of the way as the empty cup came flying at him-
"You've been hanging around that monkey chick too much."
Lilinette scowled. "Hiyori just has anger issues-you leave her out of this!" this time the tv remote went flying and Starrk ducked again.
Voice calm, he narrowed gray eyes at his sister. "Stop acting childish and let me finish explaining."
Lilinette leaned back in the recliner "I'm all ears."
()()
"But you didn't actually kiss him?"
"No I couldn't-it would be r-
"It wouldn't be right? Are you fuckin' serious Starrk-since when did you become such a puss?"
Starrk let out a sigh. "Its not like that. I want to kiss Ichigo-want to do more than kiss him-
"So do it then."
"You don't understand L-
"I understand just fine Starrk. Ichigo isn't as pure as you'd like him to be and that annoys you but let's look at the brighter side of things: A) He has a great ass-you'd never get tiered of teasing, fondling and tonguing it B) The walls in the house-well the ones that matter any way are sound proof-so you can get as wild and rough as you want to-C) A modern gypsy is backing you up-ensuring that even if you do mess up a time or two he'll still fall in love with you anyway. D) Well you're guaranteed the best sleep for the rest of your life."
Starrk couldn't argue there-those were all excellent reasons of why he should return to the mansion and claim the orange haired young master but-
"Why are you making that dumb face?"
"That garden is very important to him. Not just Kazeshini, several members of the staff have verbally expressed just how important completing the garden means to Ichigo."
"…"
5 minutes later…
"Lili?"
"Alright I'll see what strings I can pull but you owe me big time."
With a resigned sigh Starrk asked.
"What would you have me do in return?"
()()()
"Achooooo!"
Sneezing to an empty room was some how even more depressing then waking up in it had been.
Starrk sat up and waited for a few minutes let his eyes fully adjust to the dark room.
And then a moment later he noticed a strange bluish-white glow coming from the back of the arm chair-no coming from the pocket of his pants which had been laid across the back of the arm chair.
Feeling rather amused for reasons he didn't really understand Starrk climbed out of the bed and crossed the room.
()()
Heavy panting, fumbling fingertips, the next stage basically wrote itself
Or at least it had seemed to be heading in that direction-
As Ichigo got down on his knees and readied himself to envelop Grimmjow's hard yet ridiculously soft throbbing organ with his mouth-he'd been knocked away and thrown flat on his ass-hissing at the impact and ready to let out a string of curses but his date had beaten him to it
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
Ichigo felt confused-was it possible he had misread the signs-
Blue eyes were burning into his flesh like lasers now.
"Well?" A snarl-so damn vicious it could hardly be considered human. It made Ichigo flinch (much to his annoyance)
"Are you gonna sit there like a fuckin' dumbass all fuckin' night or are you gonna answer my question?"
What the hell was Ichigo supposed to say?
Sorry, my mistake?
He slowly got to his feet "You seemed like y-
"I seemed like what?" Another snarl-this one was so vicious it almost felt like the man was physically striking him "What the fuck are you spacing out for at a time like this? Stand up and explain yourself, bitch!"
Okay Ichigo had had quite enough verbal abuse for one night-hot or not he was not going to let the bastard get away with talking to him and treating him like this.
A hissing snarl coming out of his own mouth-Ichigo curled his fingers into a fist and just as he was about to connect with his target-bam-like a fucking switch-his date's entire tune changed yet again-
Blue eyes soft and partially lidded, a light and teasing grin, low murmuring voice "Someone go and piss you off suddenly brat?"
Ichigo glared and then used his un-captured fist to deliver the blow to Grimmjow's face "FUCKING BASTARD!"
"Woah ease up strawberry princess, let's save the mortal combat cos-play for the honey moon."
Ichigo felt his anger slowly draining away from him and looked at Grimmjow with confusion.
Wondering if he had just imagined the scene a few minutes ago or if his date had some sort of bi-polar disorder.
()()()
Rangiku wiped the sweat from her brow.
That had been close-much too damn close.
A moment later and they could have really ruined…everything.
Downing another shot of whiskey (she had run out of sake) Rangiku placed the scarf back over her head and the crystal ball and decided to focus her energy on the next wrong suitor.
Ah so he had a romantic evening planned did he?
A candlelight dinner for two, soft music and an indoor Jacuzzi, very nice.
Rangiku pulled her head away from the crystal for a minute and thought about her next move-
Almost feeling guilty for what she was about to do since all things considered Tousen Kaname wouldn't be such a bad match for her nephew.
()()()
It wasn't like Ichigo didn't enjoy seeing the softer side of Grimmjow-it wasn't like he didn't find an almost indescribable sort of warmth wash over him when the older male interlaced their fingers-he did but at the same time Ichigo still felt angry and confused.
"What was that little episode back there about anyway?"
Grimmjow stopped walking and let go of his hand as he turned to him "What are you talking about Ichi-brat?"
Ichigo took the moment to study the man's face-willing himself not to get lost in the sharp lines and chiseled structure as he searched for any signs of deception-but all he found there was lust and blatant confusion-which in turn only confused him more.
"What's wrong brat?"
Ichigo shook his head. "Nothing. I-
"You?" Grimmjow prompted
"I don't know-just forget it. Let's get out of here-take me some place warm."
Grimmjow grinned-but it wasn't soft and slightly dreamy like the one he was giving a few minutes ago-no this was the grin Ichigo was much more familiar with "Someplace warm eh brat? I've got just the place."
Ichigo scowled. "I don't mean back to your house, Grimmjow." He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes-making sure the older male knew he was dead serious.
Grimmjow just threw his head back and laughed.
"Asshole."
"Yeah, yeah say what you want brat but I guarantee you'll fall for me eventually."
Always so cocky and sure of himself.
SO damn irritating and yet Ichigo wouldn't want it any other way.
He grabbed hold of the lapels on Grimmjow's trench coat and pulled the man back towards him for the second time that night-this time tasting a bit of blood as tongue and teeth collided.
()()()
It was an interesting object to say the very least-seemed to change shape as Starrk continuously held it in his hand.
And the texture it self was rather difficult to pinpoint.
An orb of some sort-with mystical properties-why Lady Rangiku had given it to him was anyone's guess.
"In the most simplistic of terms humans like yourself would call it an enhancer of sorts."
Starrk turned not entirely surprised to see a new comer poised on the windowsill.
He didn't know this hybrid by name but he had come across her kind before-in the past.
"Did Lady Rangiku send you to see me?"
It was brief-blink and you'll miss type of reaction to the average person-but Starrk was far from average and he did not miss the surprise followed by suspicion followed by irritation flashing across the fox woman's face.
"There is no time for introductions Coyote Starrk. Every human is given a mission at one point or another in life, yours is to repair a shattered soul,"
"Repair a shattered soul? Is that what you're calling it these days."
Gray eyes ( a shade lighter than his own) narrowed to thin slits
"Make light of it all you want human but heed my words: Kurosaki Ichigo must be in your arms on the night of the lunar rainbow or an irreversible change will occur and you can forget about your little happily ever after with your 'human heater'."
"And this enhancer-what exactly is it supposed to enhance?" Starrk asked.
A light smirk played on the fox woman's lips. "Oh a number of things-it works a little differently for each human."
"Meaning?"
"It is not your right to ask questions, human. Just do as you are told and you will see the results when the time approaches."
The fox woman turned to leave but Starrk called her back-he had one final question.
"If I were to say use the enhancer as a-
"Do not bother finishing human." The woman rolled her eyes. "If you feel the need to use the orb in that way all I ask is that you ask permission first."
"It won't harm him?"
The fox woman's tail bristled as she whirled back around and shot him a deadly glare "Are you human's so foolish as to believe that Yoruichi-sama would pass on something a-
"Who is this Yoruichi you speak of?"
The woman looked as if Starrk had scalded her with a hot cup of tea or something. "Who is Yoruichi-sama? She is the single most amazing goddess in the land of tea."
Starrk raised a brow. "The land of tea?"
"Silence human! I have had quite enough of your voice for the first and only encounter. Just do as you are told and Matsumoto Rangiku will answer any and all questions."
"And you still won't tell me your name?"
"Good bye Coyote Starrk. Should we cross paths again I pray that you won't be as painfully ignorant and we will actually be able to carry on a decent conversation."
And just as quietly as she had entered, the fox woman left.
Starrk sat back down on the bed and rolled the orb between his fingers as he considered his next course of action.
According to the note which had been set on the dresser Ichigo probably wouldn't be back until almost midnight if not later-and when the young master returned he probably wouldn't have the energy to do much of anything except sleep, which wasn't a bad thing exactly.
Actually Starrk might be able to pull his first real attempts at trying to woo the berry if he approached the youth while he slept.
Worse case scenario-Ichigo would send him flying off the bed and out the door-
Starrk grinned.
'Might prove to be an interesting night afterall.'
The Coyote let out a yawn. All this brainwork was making him tiered.
He glanced at the clock and reasoned he'd have plenty of time to nap before Ichigo returned.
Grabbing the pillow which he had knocked away earlier and tucking it under his head Starrk slipped off into dreamland.
()()()
It was 15 minutes to 9 and he hadn't heard a single word from Ichigo.
In fact he hadn't heard anything from the youth since yesterday evening and well in short Tousen was feeling a bit irritated.
He knew he was probably being ridiculous.
Ready to throw a tantrum just because Ichigo was running a little late-although technically the boy wasn't late at all.
But still where was he? He could at least text him a simple 'hi or how are you or I'm excited about tonight or something-anything!'
Tousen downed his second glass of wine with in the past half hour and scowled at the clock on the wall-he could swear the damn thing was broken!
Maybe if he glared at it hard enough he could get the hands to move faster.
Move DAMN YOU!
After a moment when there was no change and Tousen regained some sense of self-
'Christ I'm starting to sound and act like some sort of impatient adolescent.'
It was all Ichigo's fault.
The boy made him act and think irrationally-made him
At the sound of the cheerful doorbell ringing Tousen abandoned all of his anger and practically flew to the entrance-throwing the door wide open and calling 'Come on up!' in a completely out of character tone.
At this rate he might as well put ribbons in his hair and start dancing around in his apron and skip down the stairs-
'No I'm well past the age of adolescence and entering the beaming housewife role. This boy will be the death of me'
()()
But it was not the orange youth…
"Eve' nin Tousen-san what's shakin'?"
"Ichimaru!"
()()
Rangiku fet sorry for the man-but what's done is done and there was no turning back. 'Now then onto the other one…let's see what should be the deal breaker-a jealous lover or-ah ha I've got it.'
Yes if and when her nephew ever found out he'd probably disown her forever-
'Well then again forever is a very long time but Ichigo will definitely not be happy with me once he's discovered that I've sabotaged all of his romantic connections.
He has to understand though-this might seem cruel but he'll be better off in the long run.'
()()()
Ichigo should have known better than to close his eyes and just let Grimmjow guide him to some unknown destination.
He should have refused and demanded to know where the hell he was being dragged to-he should have-
"Watch your step!"
Ichigo's ears twitched at a sudden thumping sound-it took him a moment or two to recognize the thumping as drums-the sounds grew louder-other instruments joined in-
And the berry concluded that the blue haired male had taken him to a party or club.
"Don't open your eyes until I tell you, okay brat?"
Not knowing why he was agreeing but doing it anyway-Ichigo nodded and continued to let Grimmjow guide him-frowning a bit when the space around them seemed to get more crowded or cramped-
He didn't have problems with closed in spaces exactly but-
"Grimmjow enough just tell me where the hell you've dragged me too."
Lips were near his ear "Shh, you need to keep your voice down brat-we don't want to alert the entire club."
Ichigo was about to ask what the hell Grimmjow meant by that when-
"As always you fail to follow a simple command and insist on doing things your way, Grimmjow."
Ichigo's eyes flew open-he knew that voice.
"Nice to see you to Ulquiorra, now make like a good little neko and give my brat something real nice, preferably with the stockings on."
WTF?
()()()
Rangiku felt like giggling. This was going better than she had expected-now for the icing on the cake.
()()()
"In the future I ask that you please do call in advance, Kurosaki."
What the fuck was Ulquiorra talking about?
How the hell did he and Grimmjow know each other?
And why the fuck had his blue haired date dragged him to the Frosted Neko?
Ichigo jumped when he felt some one pinch his ass-he whirled around to find a petite blond-clearly male winking and blowing kisses at him before sashaying somewhere off into one of the back rooms.
As his cinnamon and coffee brown eyes roamed the area Ichigo took note of several things.
Up on the stage -just because the guy had cat ears did not mean he should be able to-he was pretty damn sure that the human mouth really wasn't meant for such activities
Near the back of the club the two twin nekos dancing on the table tops wearing nothing but black and white striped thongs and thigh high boots.
Suspended above the air a quartet of nekos dressed in multi-colored leotards and face masks bending their bodies in such a provocative matter it would put a porn star to shame.
And then there was Ulquiorra-dressed like some fairy demon princess from hell.
"Tiaras are only issued to the host of the month. This month it is my month."
This wasn't a fucking host club-it more closely resembled a strip club
Ichigo glared at both his co-worker and his date.
"One of you damn well better explain to me just what the hell is going on here."
()()()
"There's no reason ta cry Tousen-san I'm sure Ichi-chan is just havin' car trouble or somethin'."
Not for the first time in his life Tousen found himself mentally cursing the silver-haired pain in the ass known as Ichimaru Gin.
It was as though the fox enjoyed being as aggravating as humanly possible.
Had Tousen known that Gin was going to show up at his loft he never would have let the man inside in the first place.
'I really have turned into a foolish man and its all because of that little orange haired b-
"Look at the Brightside Tousen-san," Gin's arm was around his shoulder yet again. The man was sloshing his wine glass as he bounced up and down on the arm of the couch "Even if Ichi-chan doesn't show, least yer don't have to drink alone tonight."
Tousen tried very hard to keep the bite out of his tone. "Surely you have better things to do with your time besides harass me, Ichimaru."
"Ah you know yer don't mean that." The man was grinning wide enough to break the sun if such things were possible "You should be countin' yer blessin's-least you still have all yer hair an' next to me and Wine-san here yer the best lookin' bastard in the room."
Tousen could not take much more of the man's antics. 'Honestly with all do respect to Aizen-sama I do not understand what he possibly sees in this man.'
"Remove yourself from me at once, Ichimaru."
Gin's mood changing eyes slid open a crack "I've got an idea Tousen-san, wanna hear it?"
Perhaps it was the wine talking? Perhaps it was the beginning stages of insanity talking?
Tousen Kaname did not know what it was that made him agree to listen to whatever the silver haired fox wished to tell him.
()()()
Ichigo couldn't explain how it happened. Did not even know where to begin-Ulquiorra's speed-there was no way the black-haired male was entirely human.
Ichigo's glare intensified as Grimmjow tugged lightly on his new 'leash'
"Don't pout so much brat or I might just have to force myself on you and the last thing I would want to do is ruin you."
He wanted to spit in the bastards' smug face.
But Grimmjow had already turned his back to him.
"Remember Ulquiorra make it sexy, gotta have good wank material since I'll be going out of town for a while."
Green eyes glittered "You just remember to make the check out to 'Frosted Neko Underground' and I will turn Kurosaki into the most delicious neko you've ever seen."
()()()
10:35 pm
Ichigo had expected for the door to be slammed back into his face, while he had been making the long journey up the staircase he had been trying to prepare himself for a verbal lashing of a lifetime, thinking up all sorts of scenarios including but not limited to being fired.
But the more rational part of his brain reminded Ichigo that Tousen Kaname was one of the most sensible, patient and even tempered men he had ever had the pleasure of meeting.
TO BE CONCLUDED
Bottom Notes: Why the delay once more…? Because my darling readers/reviewers/lurkers every time I want to call it quits the Coyote, Berry and friends demand more. So there you have it. Good news is…I did partially keep my promise…tis a long chapter.
