Chapter 6: Theories

"GAHH!" Naruto yelled at the sudden appearance of a masked ANBU in his kitchen. The ANBU was wearing the typical uniform but looked much rounder than what a ninja should be. He bowed to his knees.

"Sorry for interrupting, Hokage-sama," he spoke, with delightful annoyance of saying the title slightly. "The Elders have requested an emergency meeting as of right now."

"WHAT?! NO!" Naruto cried. "BUT I WAS GETTING TO THE GOOD PART! WHY IS EVERYBODY ALWAYS RUINING THIS BEAUTIFUL TALE!"

The ANBU remained in his position, letting out a sigh. Naruto stood up. "Oh well, looks like it's gonna have to wait for tomorrow."

"NOO!" The two kids moaned, frowning. Naruto was exhausted. He already had a meeting only hours ago and once again, he was prepared for another one. He would have thought that considering the Elders old age, they would have been too tired for meetings. Apparently, that was probably all they could do. A smile came swiftly to his face as he grabbed the ANBU by the shoulder. He immediately knocked the mask off the ninja, revealing a familiar, chubby face. The ANBU looked at him, confused.

"Ne, ne, ne, you could finish the story!" Naruto exclaimed to the ANBU. "You were there, right Chouji?"

"W-W-What are you talking about, Naruto?" Chouji replied puzzled.

"The Tale of the Raven and the Flower!"

"The Tale of the what?"

Naruto leaned into Chouji's ears, whispering things that were inaudible to the children. After Naruto finished, Chouji eyed him curiously.

"Naruto, that is the most stupidest, wrongest name for such a thing."

"DON'T MOCK ME! I'M THE DAMN HOKAGE! IT'S MY STORY AND I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH IT!" Naruto argued loudly. "NOW AS YOUR HOKAGE, I ORDER YOU TO TELL THAT PART OF THE STORY AND TELL THESE CHILDREN THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE WHO KNOWS OF IT OR ELSE I WILL CLOSE DOWN EVERY FREAKING BUFFET HERE EXCEPT FOR ICHIRAKU'S, WHICH I WILL MAKE IT SO ONLY I AM ALLOWED TO ENTER IT!"

Chouji let out a cheerful sigh. "Still making fun of my weight, I see? But I guess telling the story won't be that bad."

Naruto hugged Chouji to death in happiness. "Thank you so much, Chouji! You don't understand the importance of this tale to live!"

Turning to the kids, Naruto grinned and waved them goodbye before disappearing in a poof of air. In the room left were only Sou, Yuriko, and Chouji. Chouji smiled weakly at the two kids. Hmm, they take on more from their father than their mother. Hope their next child will have their mother's traits. Strange, seeing mini versions of him.

"Hey, sir, who are you from this picture?" Yuriko asked as she laid out the photo of the Konoha 11. Chouji took a closer examination of it and pointed to his teenage version of himself. The kids looked at it with a gloomy look, as if considering themselves stupid for not realizing that.

"I'm Akimichi Chouji; Your father and I once worked together on an ANBU mission. You were probably only babies when I last saw you," Chouji introduced himself. "And at the personal request of the Hokage, I shall continue the tale from the 'date.'"

The two kids gave their full attention to him as Chouji pulled out a bag of chips from his pouch and started eating from it.

"Hmm, where were we? Oh yea, a couple of teams. including mine, had organized a small reunion since none of us had seen each other for so long until that day when we heard Naruto..."


Everybody within Team Gai, Team Kurenai, and Team Asuma were walking down together in a giant group. They were chatting animatedly with one another down the roads of Konohagakure. The girls, consisting of Ino, Hinata, and Tenten, did most of the talking through their giggling and gossip. The boys, consisting of Neji, Shikamaru, Chouji, Lee, Kiba, and Shino, began to get annoyed from the girls. They had no idea why girls would talk about such things.

"Why is it so interesting to hear about who dates who? So noisy," Shikamaru complained after overhearing the girls gossip about dating. "Women are so troublesome."

"Ah! Watch what you say, Shikamaru! This is the reason why you won't be able to marry the woman of your dreams!" Ino shouted into his face.

Shikamaru scoffed. "I rather keep it that way. You, on the otherhand, I'll be praying for the man you marry to actually survive in happiness."

"WHAT?!" She shrieked before attempting to choke him, giving Shikamaru more reasons not to marry.


"Huh? Aren't Auntie Ino and Uncle Shika married though?" Sou asked, slightly confused.

Chouji grinned delightfully. "They were young back then and almost in denial as Raven and Flower were. Moving on..."


After the little scene, everybody noticed that Hinata's face had suddenly turned extremely red. She started to mumble random things. Tenten patted her shoulder.

"Hey, Hinata, what's wrong?" Tenten asked, breaking the silence.

"Um, N-N-Naruto-k-k-kun..." She stuttered, pointing in the direction across from them. Everybody looked to where her finger her pointing.

Indeed she was right. They saw the familiar blond boy in the orange suit slouching in front of the sweets shop. He seemed dazed and too relaxed, staring at the shop. Drool slipped from his mouth as it crooked into a grin. Everybody had a confused look.

"What's that idiot doing?" Kiba asked.

Shino shrugged. "Well, it is Naruto."

Everybody nodded in agreement. Upon walking closer up to him, Naruto began to break into a mini song.

"Sasuke and Sakura, laying on the bed! F-U-C-K-I-N-"

"Naruto, what kind of crap are you singing about?" Shikamaru asked lazily.

"GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Naruto screamed like a girl as he jumped was surprised to see practically the majority of the Konoha 11 altogether in one afternoon.

"W-W-W-What are you guys doing here?" He asked, recovering from the shock.

"You should be the one asking yourself! Singing about Sasuke and Sakura, sleeping together-" Ino exclaimed before she stopped herself. Everybody but Naruto froze.

"SASUKE AND SAKURA ARE DOING WHAT?!" They screamed in horror.

"BUT IT'S SASUKE!" Chouji exclaimed.

"SAKURA-SAN IS TOO YOUNG FOR SUCH A LEAP IN LIFE!" yelled Lee as tears streamed down his face.

"HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON?!" Tenten asked, panicking.

"Hm, Uchiha probably learned a few other tricks from Orochimaru too," Neji smirked.

"Maybe she seduced him into it," Shikamaru grinned evilly. "Women these days."

"I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE GOT LAID BEFORE I DID, THAT FOREHEAD GIRL!" Ino complained loudly.

Naruto put a finger against his lips, motioning them to be quiet. With his other hand, he pointed inside the sweets shop and everybody seem to understand. They peered inside, eyes widening as they saw Sasuke and Sakura sitting at a table across from each other. Nothing seem to be happening yet except that the two were staring intensely at each other. In a very, unromantic way. Lips did not move but instead, remain still in a frown.

"What the hell? It looks like they just got back from a funeral or something!" Ino remarked with disappointment.

"B-B-B-But, it l-l-looks like a d-d-date," replied Hinata.

"In Uchiha standards, yes," Neji agreed sarcastically.

"Right! Sasuke-san is making amends for his sins by treating Sakura-san so well!" Lee exclaimed with a glint of inspiration in his eyes. "He truly is remarkable!"

"Shut up before they find us-" Naruto whispered harshly before yet another voice interrupted him.

"Sakura, do you hear something?" asked the Uchiha as he turned his face slowly to their direction.

Panicking, the group immediately ran outside the restaurant and jumped to a roof. After checking that Sasuke had not followed as well, they sighed in relief.

"Damnit, there's too many of us to spy on them!" Naruto moaned, displeased at the coincidence of running into the other teams when he could have gotten the perfect moment.

"Naruto's right. We need to go in small numbers," Chouji advised. Everybody nodded with hesitation.

"But then we'll miss certain parts, and every moment counts in a date!" Ino argued.

"But it's not a date," Shikamaru stated.

"SHUT UP!"

"I can send one of my bugs with a listening device inside," Shino suggested out of the blue. "We can spy on them without even getting caught."

Tenten clasped her hands together in delight. "Good idea! Also, Hinata and Neji-kun can use their Byaguukan to watch too!"

"I will not invade their privacy," Neji said, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Then why did you run like a chicken when you thought Sasuke found us?" Tenten teased him. Neji glared at her but sigh. He turned to Hinata, who nodded with a small smile. The two closed their eyes for a moment, only for it to open a few seconds later with veins surrounding their eyes.

A tiny fly fluttered around Shino as he spoke to it. Then it disappeared and flew into the restaurant. Shino took out his radio, turning it up to the highest volume. After a while, sounds were transpiring through the radio, static getting in the way. To their annoyance, it took a while before they could actually get a real voice.

"What do you-static-Dan-static-he's the-static-"

"Oi! That's Sasuke!" Naruto pointed out. Shino continued to fix the radio.

"Hinata, what's going on?" Shino asked as he continued fixing.

"I-I-I see Sasuke-san's lips moving," She explained."His chakra flow is kinda disruptive."

"So is Sakura's," Neji added. "They don't seem comfortable."

"Could they be nervous?" Chouji asked.

Neji shook his head. "It's the kind of pattern that tells that they don't want to be there."

"So...it's not really a date?" Kiba asked with a hint of disappointment.

Everybody's head drooped down. Suddenly, more static started to erupt from the radio. Finally, something came through.

"Don't forget to pick up the stuff and come to my house." Sakura's voice was heard through the radio.

"Then we'll do it tonight then."

And the world froze.


"Was it cold? When the world froze?" Sou innocently questioned. Chouji laughed at their childish intelligence.

"Ne, what did they do that night?" Yuriko chirped curiously.

"That's what we wanted to know at the time..."


Everybody surrounded the radio in silence. So little was heard, yet it was enough to send millions of thoughts inside each of their heads. The expected and unexpected came with each person. Naruto had his jaws and eyes so wide a tree could fit in it. Hinata's face was scarlet red, as if she was going to faint any minute. Kiba's face was pale like a ghost. Shino, though behind his round dark glasses, had a disturbing twitch on his head. Ino gasped loudly as if she was about to have a heart attack. Shikamaru narrowed his eyes at the radio, difficult to pinpoint his expression. Chouji stopped eating his chips, remaining motionless. Tenten clasped her hands to her cheeks, her mouth forming a giant "O." Neji tried his best not to laugh like a crazy person, retaining his calm posture with a huge smirk. Lee's eyes sparkled with unsure admiration. Although their faces clashed, one question was shared with everybody's mind and they all knew it:

What were they doing tonight? Each of them had an answer, but to their disappointment, they weren't the same.

"SASUKE-SAN AND SAKURA-SAN ARE INCREDIBLE! THEY DECIDE TO TRAIN EVEN IN THE DARKNESS!" Lee exclaimed emotionally. "THEY WISH TO STRENGTHEN THEIR BONDS AFTER SO LONG! WHAT A GREAT FRIENDSHIP!"

"ARE YOU STUPID LEE?! THE ONLY SANE REASON IS THAT THEY'RE GONNA SLEEP WITH EACH OTHER!" Kiba yelled, smacking the boy on the head.

"SLEEP ISN'T THE CORRECT TERM, KIBA! AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Tenten cried.

"MAYBE THEY'RE HAVING A ROMANTIC DINNER!" Chouji suggested as he returned to munching his chips. "THEY DID MENTION SOMETHING ABOUT STUFF, SO THEY'RE PROBABLY COOKING!"

"YEAH LIKE TOYS TO PLAY WHILE THEY RESTORE HIS CLAN!" Kiba retorted.

"THAT'S NOT SASUKE! HE'S GOING TO PROPOSE TO HER!" Ino exclaimed.

"Then take her down on the bed," Neji commented with a delightful smirk.

"I KNOW SASUKE-SAN! THEY'RE GOING TO TRAIN!"

"ROMANTIC DINNER!"

"THEY'RE GONNA DO IT!"

"Maybe Sakura forced him into doing her chores," Shikamaru stated slightly annoyed.

"NO!" Everybody shouted at him. Their attention turned back to Hinata but before she could utter a single word, she fainted with a red face.

"Hey, Naruto, you're being too quiet! What do you think is going on?!" Chouji barked.

Naruto had his head down, facing the ground. It was odd. His fists were clenched tightly. "I should have known..."

Everybody had raised eyebrows. Naruto had never sounded so serious after such a simple moment.

"Last night Sasuke and Sakura-chan were talking...I never mentioned it to anyone but they were both given a mission..."

"A mission?" Kiba repeated, dumbfounded. It was strange. It was always said that Sasuke was forbidden for any missions for at least a year. It must have been secretive, but it sure made sense of it was Sasuke. But what kind was it if it involved Sakura?

Naruto nodded. Then out of a sudden, he spun around and faced them with a huge grin and his thumbs up.

"THE MISSION TO MAKE UCHIHA NARUTO!"

A sweatdrop formed on each of their heads. Within a second, all of them surrounded Naruto and took turns punching him from several parts of his body.

"THAT IS THE GAYEST NAME EVER!"

Naruto sat up, rubbing all the bruises he received from the others. "DON'T TAUNT IT! YOU'RE ALL JUST JEALOUS CAUSE YOUR THEORIES AREN'T RIGHT!"

"Then let's find out; everybody treats the person with the closest idea to dinner," Neji suggested confidently. Everybody nodded in agreement. The deal was on.


"So who was right?"

"Wait for that part, Sou, I'm on the way."


That night, the Konoha 11 had just arrived around Sakura's house. They all took a position from a distance, watching it from trees or rooftops. They had already seen Sasuke go into her house and the two disappeared inside it. Hinata and Neji were closely examining with their Byakguukans as the others merely waited for things. Chouji leaned into his radio as he crouched behind the leaves.

"Hinata, Neji, what do you see?" He whispered.

Static came through the radio before he heard Neji's voice. "The two are just talking on the couch now...What?!"

"Eh? Neji, what's wrong?" Tenten asked, slightly worried.

"Uchiha just took off his shirt."

"HUH?!" Came the many voices shrieking.

"H-h-h-he's l-l-leaning to a bag..."

"TO GET THEM TOYS TO PLAY WITH UNDER THE SHEETS!" Kiba cackled.

"Shut up! They're gonna hear us!" Ino whispered harshly. "Hinata, Neji, can you guys get a closer look on what he's holding?"

"No but he's coming outside!" Neji replied hastily. All eyes were on the front porch. A figure was coming through the opening. Spikey, jet black hair flashed under the moonlight, followed by a handsome face. He was completely shirtless, showing his well-built-

"AH! SASUKE'S GOT SOME NICE ABS NOW!" Ino exclaimed gleefully.

"Shut up Ino before-"

"Come out, you guys," Sasuke said plainfully. Everybody froze. There was no escape now. They withdrew from their hiding spots and landed in front of Sakura's house. Sasuke looked too calm at the moment. And then they noticed: In his hands was a hammer and a few nails. They looked puzzled.

"Sasuke, what are you doing at Sakura's house?" Naruto asked confidently, as if it was the most easiest thing to do in the first place.

Sasuke twitched for a moment. "Fixing her door."

Crickets chirped quietly as everybody's face was sprawled with shock. Sasuke continued to have the same, calm posture. Shikamaru, on the otherhand, couldn't grin any wider.

"I expect a full-hardcore feast from each of you."


"THAT'S IT?!" Yuriko and Sou shouted loudly. Chouji nodded calmly.

"When does he confess his love? Or actually show it?" Yuriko asked irritated. He shrugged.

"I don't know. I never really saw any signs of affection between the two that time."

"Is this really a true story?!" Sou asked, slowly gaining a disappointed face. "Who are they really?"

Chouji chuckled. He ruffled the boy's hair. "In time, you will find out, and will be pleased with it."

Yuriko pouted. "Hmp! Maybe it's all just a big, fattie lie! Raven probably doesn't even love her!"

"Don't say that, Yuriko. He really does care for her, he just refuses to show it at this moment," Chouji explained.

"Then who knows a part where he actually cares?"

Chouji paused for a moment. Then his fingers pointed into the direction of Naruto's master bedroom. Of course. Yuriko and Sou smiled. Suddenly, a messenger bird flew through their window. Chouji grabbed the paper tied to its legs as the bird left. He rolled out the paper, reading the contents:

Your substitution for ANBU captain Kirin will extend to one more day. Kirin is held up and will not return in time.

Chouji smirked. Held up, yeah right. More like enjoying his vacation.

He crumpled up the message and stood up.

"Alright, kids, I have to go now," Chouji said. "I have some duties to do now."

"Aw," They frowned. "Thanks for the story though!"

"No problem. Tell your parents the best of wishes," He replied before disappearing in a poof of smoke. The two kids looked at each and with a grin, dashing into where their Aunt Hinata was.