Ho Ho Ho dear readers, I hope the christmas mood has reached you all. I know it's been a while... I had to get over the Supergirl-news regarding the Sanvers breakup. Jesus Christ I did not see that coming, it's heartbreaking! I completely forgot about the new season and by the time I realized that it continued we were already at episode 6 or 7. Now I'm scared to start watching season 3...
Anyways... here is my christmas present for you! Enjoy :)
A strand of hair tickles her nose and I'm tempted to wipe it away, but I enjoy the twitching of her nose way too much. Her eyelids flutter while the restlessness comes back into her body. She's only seconds away from fully waking up and it makes me feel so unbelievably excited. Something's so different lately, an unknown passion has been lingering around over the last couple of days. We've been recovering from the emotional exhaustion and things finally seem to get normal again. Except for the little fact that we're together, that I watch her every morning now, touch her face at night when she's having a troubling dream or kiss her goodbye when I leave. Other than that, we keep doing the stuff we've always done. She still smiles lovingly at me when I steal her cup of coffee or kisses me on the cheek when I tell her a silly joke that she doesn't find funny at all. It's more like a greater update to an already great thing and I still cannot believe how perfect this is. All of it. There's just one thing that starts to drive me seriously insane.
"How long have you been watching me?" she whispers with a smile, eyes still closed, but her head moves a little closer to mine.
"I lost track of time... watching you is kinda mesmerizing..."
"Cheesy you..."
She craves a kiss, I can tell because she stretches her neck so that I have an even better view at her. I slowly get closer, close enough for her to feel my breath on her face. My gaze wanders from her lips to her still closed eyes and the long, dark eyelashes, that seem oddly perfect.
"Unfortunate... that good-morning-kisses are so cheesy, too..." I breathe to her lips, careful not to touch them, before I withdraw.
I almost feel her fully coming back from her sleep now, her body vibrates with vitality as she finally opens her eyes and moves to pin me down the mattress.
She doesn't look tired anymore. Her eyes are filled with a fiery glance, but it's not the first time I've seen her like this.
"I'm sorry I backed away last night..." she whispers against my lips before finally kissing me gently and I suddenly wonder if the butterflies will ever go away. "I was... intimidated..."
"By what?" I ask her. My hand's already under her shirt and on her back, relishing the softness of her skin and the feeling of her muscles flexing as she tenses and relaxes.
"It's you..."
Her voice sounds deeply desperate. It's the same desperation that presses her body deeper into mine, that lets her roll her hips into mine.
I kiss her, cause I fail to describe how I feel about this. I know the struggle, I share it with her. It's Alex, my Alex, her smell in my nose, her warm, vibrating hand on my stomach and her goddamn knee between my legs and I'm just a whimpering mess in her arms already.
She's trembling as she pulls my shirt over my head, trembling as she fumbles with the clasp of my bra and I'm so afraid of loosing it, cause my heart flutters so intensely that I almost cannot feel my hands anymore. I'm so afraid of hurting her by being too passionate, but just as I think about stopping, I see her face as she looks at my chest and it leaves me breathless for a second or two...
I didn't think she could tremble any more, but she does, now that her fingers touch my right breast so softly that I almost can't feel it.
"Alex..." I whisper, not really knowing what it is that I want to tell her. She looks at me with tears in her eyes, fully cupping my breast before moving her hand over my heart. "You're being absolutely cheesy..." I whisper with a smile.
She chokes a little on her laugh. Her kisses tell me everything. I focus on the sound of her heartbeat, but I keep hearing the rustling of the sheets, the heavy breaths that come out of her mouth in between the kisses she's placing down my body, the soft creaking of the bed under our uncontrolled movements. It's the most beautiful and mesmerizing melody I've ever heard.
I carefully take my hand out of her hair as she closes her mouth on my nipple and immediately grab the headboard, cause I don't trust myself with her, not when it feels like this and it does feel so much better than I had ever imagined.
A short moan leaves me, but I'm sure Alex doesn't hear it, cause it's happening simultaneously with the loud ringing of the telephone.
"You're not...?" she asks, placing kisses down my belly and her hand... for gods sake her hand is already fumbling with the button of my jeans.
"Hell no..."
"Why are you fully dressed anyway?"
"Bakery..."
I feel her fingertips grazing my pubic bone through the light fabric of my pants as she's undoing the zipper, finally pulling the jeans down. It's happening. It's finally happening. It's Alex. It's my Alex and the look on her face as she's moving back to hover over me. We've seen each other in underwear before... even seen each other naked, but this... like... touching...
"Hi, this is Kara Danvers. Unfortunately I'm not at home, but if you leave a message, I'll call you back asap. BEEEEEP... Kara, honey, I just called Lena to ask her for any plans for your birthday, but... well she says you broke up. I just... wanted to check on you... five years are a very long time, I understand that you need time... but if you want to talk... you know I'm here and you can visit for a family weekend if you need a change... I'm sure Alex comes, too, in times like these everyone needs a sister. Just think about it. I Love you... BEEEEP."
We're completely frozen. My eyes are fixated on the endless whiteness of the ceiling and I can't feel Alex's skin on mine anymore.
"Oh god, I'm feeling sick!" she says out of the sudden and moves back to her side of the bed, "What do we do now?"
"I don't know, I didn't really have time to think about this. I mean breaking up with Lena was one thing and then this whole thing with... like... to be honest I wasn't really thinking much about anything else than kissing you."
Her breathing is still heavy, but now I realize it's out of panic. I move my head to look at her, but she's covering her face with her hands.
"Oh god... what do we do? What will she say? She's going to disown me!"
"What? No! Alex she'd never do that!" I reach for her hands, because I crave to see her face, but she's sitting up under what seems to be a wave of panic. We'd known that we'd have to face this at some point, but it had been so far away between everything else.
"No you don't understand..." she whispers into her hands, shaking again. "I'm her daughter, the perfect little princess that has to live up to the expectations. She'd never understand that Kara. She'll blame me!"
"She's your mother and she loves you. Maybe she won't understand it right away, maybe she'll never understand... but I'm sure blaming you is the least thing she'd do. She was so sweet about our coming outs, she just wants us to be happy..."
Alex stays silent for what seems like an eternity. I don't dare to move, because I literally feel her thinking.
"This is different from anything we had to face before and we faced a lot. I'm sure that's the one thing she won't be able to deal with..." It's barely a whisper that comes out of her mouth. I finally find the courage to move again and I do the only thing that seems right. I pull her back into my arms, back on the mattress. Her body is so limp, the complete opposite of the strong bundle of passion that has undressed me just minutes ago. As soon as the blanket hides us, she's using the last bit of passion that is left to press herself into me. I place a kiss on her head and wrap my arms around her, careful not to overuse my powers. I've always thought of Alex as the stronger one, but right now I remember again how fragile she really is.
