Merry Christmas! Here is my present to all of you, a long overdue update to this story. Please read, review, and enjoy.
Chapter 7
Life continued after that. Months passed and the two settled into life in Forks, but that wasn't everything they thought it's be. To put it plainly, life in Forks was boring. Bella found herself falling into the type of life she hadn't pictured for herself at this age. She was happily married yes, but that was all. Her life revolved solely around that and though Bella hated to admit it she hated it. The same thing happened every day and for a while she had liked it, but now she wanted some excitement. If anything she just wanted a life, a real life. Now she followed Charlie to bed every night at nine o clock sharp, dinner was ready at six sharp, and nothing ever changed.
"Nothing ever changes," thought Bella as she sat Charlie's arm around her as they lounged on the couch watching the same thing on TV like every other night. Though she wanted change more than anything else in the world, Bella didn't expect anything. She knew when their show ended Charlie would kiss her head as always, stand up to stretch, and taking her hand he would lead her up to get ready for bed. Tomorrow the routine would begin again. They would wake up; have breakfast before Charlie left for work leaving her to tend to the house. And there she would stay until he came home where they would have dinner, watch TV, and go to bed all over again. It had gotten so bad that their sex life was on that same routine. It never just happened anymore, nothing was spur of the moment like it once was, but planned. Wednesday, Bella could expect Charlie to come up behind her as she brushed her hair before bed, and gently nibble her ear. This would lead to them having passionate sex. Friday, Bella could expect Charlie to squeeze her thigh as they watched TV which would lead to them having sex not once, but three times. Once on the couch, once on the floor, and then finally in their bed. Saturday, Bella knew Charlie would practically mewl her the second her eyes opened in the morning. It was simply really, nothing would be said or hinted at Charlie would just climb on top of her, and tenderly make love to her. And Bella did love that, she loved the sex, she loved Charlie. The problem was that she needed some sort of change, but as hard as she tried to she couldn't break the pattern. She tried sleeping in, she tried going somewhere that wasn't the grocery store, but every time she found herself doing what her routine dictated. That was why when she woke up that morning she found herself doing everything she always did without even noticing it.
She took a shower staying in there twenty minutes just for the hell of it.
"I hate my life," thought Bella as she ran a towel through her hair moving down the stairs to do the breakfast dishes and set meat out for dinner stopping suddenly as the thought ran through her mind. She hated it even though she knew it was the truth. After these things were done Bella found herself searching for things to do, but there was nothing. The house was spotless, dinner didn't have to be ready for hours, and she had done the shopping yesterday. That thought entered her mind then and closing her eyes Bella hated it still. Even more though she hated herself because she should be happy, but she wasn't. What was wrong with her? Shouldn't she be happy being just Charlie's wife? Why wasn't she happy? Those questions just swirled around in her head going unanswered. Collapsing on the couch in that moment, Bella didn't have any answers as she stared helplessly up at the ceiling.
In that moment Bella thought of all the reasons she had to be happy. She had so many that it only made her question more why she wasn't. Her marriage was better than ever, she was still helplessly in love with her husband, and he was happier than ever. He loved the little town so much. The conflicts she had originally encountered were now nonexistent and she could walk around town in peace, but all that didn't seem to matter. Bella was still unhappy despite it all. Bella wanted some excitement, she wanted to do something that didn't involve cleaning, and most of all she didn't want to be alone all the time.
"It wasn't like this back in Phoenix," said Bella out loud not realizing she had done so until the words had left her mouth her mind wondering to her memories of that place, of all her friends, and the adventures she had had. All while still being Charlie's wife. That was something she didn't have in Forks, Bella didn't have a single friend, and she was as far from adventure as she was going to get. But it wasn't so much the adventure though, she could live without that. Bella only wished she wasn't alone that she had just one friend in the whole town.
Bella had no friends and the few times she came close to making any Charlie seemed to have a problem with it. Sometimes Bella really resented him for that and then the second she did she would feel bad about it. Charlie was her husband after all, he was her world, and she should know he knew what was best for her. At least that's what she always told herself, but still Bella got so lonely waiting for him to come home she just wanted a friend to call; a friend to keep her company so she wasn't so dependent on Charlie. Angela at the diner had very nearly been her friend, but every time she called to invite her out she had been guilted out of it by Charlie. First he would tell her to go acting as if he didn't care, but the second she was out the door he would start his defenseless husband act. He would try to cook dinner and accidentally burn his hand or blow up the microwave. He would act like he was going to be all alone at the house, but say he didn't mind when she knew he did. It would all work against her, grabbing at her heart, and forcing her to stay even as much as she wanted to go.
"Jacob could have been my friend," thought Bella feeling like she was betraying Charlie by even thinking of him. She hadn't dared see him or speak to him because she knew how Charlie would react. The fight with Charlie wouldn't be worth it. Jacob lingered on her mind though she didn't know why. Bella somehow knew that he would have been a good friend to her and she wished she could have gotten to know him better. It was as those thought lingered more that the silence of the house was broken by the irritating screech of the phone. Hurrying off the couch and into the kitchen she yanked it from its receiver.
"Hello?" said Bella expecting it to be Charlie, mostly because nobody else ever called.
"Bella…this is Jacob Black…I don't know if you remember me or not," whispered Jacob making Bella lean against the wall with a gasp at the sound of his voice.
"Jacob," breathed Bella without realizing it taken completely by surprise especially after she had just been thinking of him.
"Of course…Jacob. What can I do for you?" said Bella remembering Charlie as she fixed her voice into a dismissive tone.
"I…well…I was just checking to see if you were ok. I know Newton was giving you trouble and well I haven't seen you since the party…I was a bit worried," whispered Jacob. Bella could tell he was confused by her tone. As he spoke she couldn't help, but feel touched. He had been worried about her. He care whether she was all right or not like a true friend. A prolonged silence fell then and Bella could hear her heart pounding.
Bella couldn't understand it. She had just met this person, but she was hanging off of his every word. Was she that desperate for companionship? She wanted to say no, but she knew the answer was yes. She needed to talk to someone other than Charlie that was why in that moment she was hanging off of Jacob's every word. She needed him to talk to her, not like Charlie did, not like a wife, but like a regular person. For the first time since marrying Charlie, Bella realized she wanted to be a regular person.
"Jacob? You still there?" whispered Bella when the silence had become too much. He hadn't said a word for so long part of her was afraid he had hung up, but then she heard it. Jacob still didn't say anything, but she could still hear his breathing on the other end of the line. It was he was as afraid to say more as she was.
"I called…I called to ask you or well…I was wondering if you wanted to do something. What I mean is…maybe we could hang out. We're supposed to be friends…at least I thought that's what we were, but then you sort of disappeared," said Jacob slowly as if each word was causing him physical pain.
"Yeah, well, life got in the way. I've been busy, but that doesn't mean we're not friends. I'd really like that actually…to be friends. I'll have to get permission from Charlie, but I really would like to hang out…with you," breathed Bella everything shaking even her voice. Bella could already hear the beginnings of the argument they would have later in her mind, but she knew her life couldn't go on this way. She needed a friend and Jacob could be that friend; if Charlie trusted her the way he said he did he wouldn't have a problem with it. But even as that thought ran through her mind, Bella knew she would have to fight to have him as a friend. It was a fight she was willing to pick, but not one she was looking forward to.
The sound of Jacob laughing brought her attention back to the call though it was the last thing she expected to hear in that moment.
"What's so funny?" said Bella a small smile finding her own face.
"Nothing…just the way you talk…you talk about him more like a father then a husband," said Jacob not knowing the truth in his words. They made Bella pause reflecting on how true that was; in more ways than one.
"Yeah, well, that's what marriage is sometimes," breathed Bella her smile fading as his words repeated themselves in her mind.
Suddenly she didn't want to talk anymore.
"Like I said, Jacob, I'll talk to Charlie. I'll see what he thinks and call you tomorrow with an update, but I have to get dinner going so I better let you go," exclaimed Bella not realizing how rushed her words were until she had finished speaking them.
"Alright, I'll be looking forward to that. Hope to hear from you tomorrow, Bella, have a nice night," whispered Jacob his voice just as rushed as hers had been. They both knew they should hang up then, but they didn't. Nothing was said then, nothing was heard except softness of their own breath, but despite that neither wanted to hang up yet. And they didn't know why after all their conversation was over.
"Well…bye, Bella," whispered Jacob his voice barely a breath. Bella wanted to say something back, but she found herself speechless. All she could do was hear as he hung up and listen to the dial tone that replaced his voice.
"Bye," whispered Bella to the dial tone hanging up with a sigh. Returning to the couch, Bella remained there until it was time to cook dinner, and even as she was doing that Jake's words were in her ears. If only he knew that her husband was in fact her father, she couldn't imagine what he would think. But she couldn't deny how true they were. Bella would always be his daughter as far as blood was concerned, but now she was his wife. She wanted him to treat her that way not like his daughter one second then his wife the next, and that was something Charlie was constantly doing. And Bella didn't want to be both; she wanted to be his wife. She wanted to be only his wife. Bella knew Charlie loved her, but sometimes she wondered how he thought of her. Sometimes she wondered if he even realized what he was doing. Those were thoughts that just wouldn't leave even when she heard Charlie coming through the front door.
"What do you want?" smiled Charlie running his hands up her sides.
"You, only you," whispered Bella though with a sigh rather than a smile.
" Something wrong, Bells?" whispered Charlie trying to look at her face, but finding he couldn't with her standing so close to the stove not getting to do so until they sat across from each other at dinner.
"Bella, are you alright? Did something happen today that I need to know about?" said Charlie looking at her face wanting her to meet his gaze, but her eyes remained glued to her plate. Deciding to leave it alone, Charlie continued to watch her as he ate still hoping she would look at him. Bella seemed so far away then; he could see something was bothering her. She wasn't even eating she just stared down at her plate as her fork played silently in the sauce on her spaghetti. Bella wanted so badly in that moment to look at him and tell him what was wrong. She wanted him to know how she felt, to have an open marriage with him, but every time she tried she couldn't. Because she knew that the second she did they would be in a fight, a fight like the one before that landed her on the couch, and she just wasn't ready for that right now. She wanted to enjoy the peace while she still had it.
"Bella, talk to me. What's going on?" exclaimed Charlie making her sigh getting annoyed with him.
"I'm all alone here, Charlie. Back in Phoenix I had friends, people who cared, so I wasn't cooped up in our home all the time, but here I'm alone. I'm friendless and it's all your fault," snapped Bella her words coming out harsher then she meant them to. She really hadn't wanted a fight with him, but he just had to keep pushing. He just wouldn't stop and now she was determined to have it out with him. She didn't care if it landed her on the couch tonight or not.
The room grew silent as she waited for him to respond. He just sat there not knowing what to say or do. He didn't understand how any of this was his fault, it wasn't like he chained her to the bed or kept her from leaving the house; how was it his fault she didn't have any friends?
"Bella, you can go anywhere you want with whoever you want. I'm not stopping you," exclaimed Charlie shaking his head at her as if he was talking to a child before focusing on his dinner.
" I want to hang out with Jacob Black," said Bella her voice snappish as she watched him sit up straight knowing now he would act just as she expected him to. For a moment he only stared at her before letting his fork hit the table with a slam. His napkin was next falling to the table with a thud before he rose leaving the room. Bella was forced to follow him part of her determined that this time she would win this fight.
"Can I still go wherever I want with whoever I want? No because you don't trust me. You think I'm going to cheat on you with every guy in Forks just like Mrs. Newton," snapped Bella grabbing his arm as she started to climb the stairs making him look at her.
"He's not just whoever, he's a guy, and as much as I may trust you I don't trust him. He'll use his charms to make you crawl right onto his cock. Men and women can't be just friends anymore, Bella, not without something happening," exclaimed Charlie his face red with anger.
"Why…nothing's going to happen, Charlie. I love you, I'm not going to cheat on you," whispered Bella her voice cracking slightly.
"Why can't you just trust me; isn't that what marriage is supposed to be about?" whispered Bella tears gathering in her eyes. Charlie stared at her then in the silence that fell, he wanted to tell her she was wrong, but he couldn't because she was right. After everything that happened with her mother he kept expecting the same thing to happen with her, but standing there he knew there was nothing to worry about. Bella wasn't her mother. And while he still didn't trust Jacob Black, he could trust Bella because she wasn't stupid. She wouldn't let anything happen and if it did she would tell him. She would tell him and then she would let him kill the kid. The boy entered his mind in that moment.
He might make a play for her or a romance could grow between them even if there was nothing now.
"I trust you, Bella, I always have. I worry about that kid making a move and it being good enough that he steals you away from me," whispered Charlie refusing to look at her in that moment. Charlie moved closer to her even before he realized he was doing it and wrapping his arms around her he pulled her into his chest. Nothing was said then as he held her to him his grip so tight it was as if he expected her to vanish if he even dared blink. As they stood there Bella took his hand intertwining their fingers and bringing her other hand to his cheek she made him look at her. When their eyes finally met once more Bella smiled at him and Charlie found he was forced to smile back. In that moment he couldn't help, but be reminded why he fell in love with her in the first place.
"Charlie, Jacob doesn't think of me that way, and even if he did I'd shut him down. I love you, all I want is you," whispered Bella feeling as he leaned into her touch.
For a minute Charlie only stared at her still seeing the truth in her words as he considered each of them. Again he remembered that Bella was not her mother, he would never have to worry about her cheating on him or leaving him, and with that thought he pulled her closer. He wanted to tell her he loved her then, but decided against it wanting something else instead. Slowly his lips found hers and tenderly he kissed her lips knowing that was all the I love you she needed.
"I suppose you should hang out with him, but you let me know if he gets to putting his hands anywhere he shouldn't" whispered Charlie against her lips.
"I'll be sure to do that. Thank you, Charlie," whispered Bella standing on tip toe to kiss him again before backing away to clean up the kitchen. But Charlie soon followed after her scooping her up before she could protest.
"Charlie! It's not Wednesday yet," exclaimed Bella letting him kiss her once more as he carried her in his arms to their bedroom effectively breaking their routine.
"I don't give a damn what day it is," growled Charlie landing on top of her the second he laid her on the bed.
