Hey, sorry it's been so long since I last updated because college is making me super busy lately.
This installment of TBBT is mainly about games and contest and has a few references to past episodes and other shows.
Enjoy the story.
Chapter 7: The Dare Contest
It was a Tuesday morning in the town of Bikini Bottom, the Krusty Krab was having slow business day today as many residents went to Goo Lagoon for a beach party for Squilliam Fancyson.
"What a bummer, I get up this morning for a day to make money and that rich Squidward dopple-ganger who's a jerk invites most of the town to his snobby shindig." Mr. Krabs said bummed out that hardly anyone besides his friends came to the Krusty Krab.
"It's hard to believe that a real (fog horn) like Squilliam Fancyson had to throw a party and invite everyone in town except for us." Squidward said angry that Squilliam has to 1-up him in every single way possible and humiliate him. "I mean he invited celebrities, all the police force along with people in jail and potential criminals, and even the mayor to his little gathering."
"I was invited but I refused to go anyway." Princess Mindy said while she was sitting at a table with Patrick on the date she promised him. "Unless Squiliza is throwing one, rich people parties are overrated."
"You tell 'em Mindy." Patrick said after Princess Mindy spoke her mind.
"I have an idea on something to make the best of the day!" SpongeBob said thinking of a way to have fun at the Krusty Krab that would be better than Squilliam's party. "We could have a dare contest to show how fun we can be that a whole lot better than that mean Octopus's party."
"No offense SpongeBob but how is that fun, I mean there's probably something better on TV." Squidward said as he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.
The TV had turned on to a live news story at the party at Squilliam's beach house by Goo Lagoon (which was on every single channel on FISH Network which is the satellite provider for the Krusty Krab) and reporter Perch Perkins was on the scene interviewing Squilliam on the news.
"Perch Perkins here on Bikini Bottom news where a lot of the town is at Squilliam Fancyson's beach house by Goo Lagoon where almost everyone in town has been invited except for a few losers who've the city feels no regret to ostracize." Perch Perkins said talking to Squilliam.
"They sure do, and the problem starts with Squidward Tentacles." Squilliam said in the interview.
"What!" Squidward yelled at the TV.
"What is it about Squidward Tentacles you don't like?" Perch Perkins asked Squilliam.
"Well he makes a fool of himself trying to be better at things than me, he's a potty mouth, he's mean to all his friends if he has any, and he's dating some Cockney-Princess named Squiliza who was made into royalty for doing nothing." Squilliam said in the interview.
"That rich dickhead, I'm gonna egg his ugly mansion later for making fun of me and my family who've descended from the poor part of the English Channel." Squiliza said in an angry tone for being made fun because of her roots.
"Squiliza, we all hate him very much but I don't think vandalism is the best way to take him down." Sandy said trying to ease Squiliza's temper.
"And there we have it folks; according to Squilliam Fancyson, Squidward Tentacles is a loser." Perch Perkins said as the interview ended.
All the guest were laughing about it; even Pearl, her friends, along with Plankton and Karen were there among the crowd laughing. After being fed up with what he saw on the news, Squidward shut off the TV while his face was red and his pupils turned into flames.
"Squidward, did you cause a fire drill because there's a flaming hole are drilled in your eyes." Patrick said after remembering something he saw on TV as a kid.
"Patrick! I am angry and that was just a line in an episode of The Simpsons where Marge, the mother of the family who has hair that looks like a blue cactus was teased by her older sisters as a little girl." Squidward yelled at Patrick after he asked a stupid question.
"Why don't we do a dare contest like SpongeBob suggested before (Whale Song) hits the fan between Patrick and Squidward." Mr. Krabs said agreeing with SpongeBob.
"Okay then, let's get this show on the road but I wouldn't of used that word to express that." SpongeBob said ready to start.
The group got together and planned a list of things to do for the series of dares. When coming up with the first one, it was Patrick vs. Mr. Krabs in the random food slingshot.
"Is everything all set?" Princess Mindy said as they readied for the dare.
"Mr. Krabs, can you launch this food we took from the Chum Bucket (because Plankton and Karen were at the party) and send it east." Patrick said to start the dare.
"Please, bankrupting Plankton is no big challenge." Mr. Krabs said as he put a bucket full of raw food from the Chum Bucket in the giant slingshot and it went flying east into Jawsbury (an underwater city where a lot of sharks live) which formed a riot over it in that town.
"My turn to chuck something somewhere." Patrick said going towards the slingshot.
"Okay, I dare you to launch this roasted pig with the apple in the mouth towards the home lane on Conch Street." Mr. Krabs said to get Patrick to do something with the dare.
"Okay Mr. Krabs, here goes nothing." Patrick said as he launched the roasted pig in the air really hard at a high angle of trajectory.
As the roasted pig was flying in the air, the TV in the Krusty Krab turned itself on and played the live news story at Squilliam's party at his beach house.
"So Squilliam, how pathetic is your arch-rival Squidward doing to remain a loser?" Perch Perkins said asking him a question.
"Well Perch, the only time Squidward is never a loser is when pigs fly." Squilliam said as he and everyone at the party was laughing about what he said until something came flying in over the horizon.
"What is that?" Pearl said in the crowd seeing what the flying projectile was.
"It looks like a roasted pig." Karen said after zooming in on it.
"Wow, how ironic for once." Plankton said as the roasted pig was headed straight for Squilliam.
"D'oh." Squilliam said as the pig hit him in the back of the head and landed on the buffet table with the pig ready to serve and his face fell in the large cake.
"Ha, serves him right for what he got." Squidward said as witnessed that happen when the TV shut itself off.
"Looks like Patrick is the winner here." Squiliza said as she was laughing too hard.
"Okay, now let's roll with the next game." SpongeBob said before another dare started.
The next dare in the game was between Sandy and Squiliza in a ladies' dare that involved a drinking contest.
"Can it not be alcohol because I don't want to get drunk again please?" Squiliza said not wanting to get hammered in the contest.
"No worries, we've got non-alcoholic wine so we won't get wasted from this." Sandy said clearing things up.
"Okay then, let's get started then." Squiliza said awaiting SpongeBob to explain the rules to the drinking contest for them.
"Alright, for the drinking game, you'll have to try to see who can drink the most in less than 10 minutes." SpongeBob said explaining the rules for the contest. "Even though its alcohol free, try to take it slow because it's aged over 100 years."
"Why is that SpongeBob?" Squidward asked curious about the reason he said it.
"I bought it from a merchant who explored the wreck of the Titanic back in the Atlantic Ocean." Princess Mindy said as part of Squidward's question. "Even though I used a device Sandy invented called The De-Alcoholizer to remove the alcohol from the wine, it's still aged and also very strong so drinking it fast could make you really sick."
"Why do that kinda thing?" Patrick said after hearing that. "Wouldn't that make them violently ill?"
"No Patrick, they would get sick if they drink it really fast." SpongeBob said trying to explain this to Patrick. "Anyway, let the games be-gin, bad jokes but I thought it seemed fitting."
They poured and equal amount of wine into two large glasses emptying the bottle. As they started a timer for ten minutes, they clicked the wine glasses and started the contest.
"This taste kinda funny but at least I'm not getting drunk on the first sip this time." Squiliza said as she slowly drank the filtered wine from the glass.
"Yeah, good thing I built this last week along with the drinking tube in a compartment in my suit." Sandy said as she took a tube from a compartment in her suit that works like a straw to drink the wine. "This won't be so hard for us."
After 2 in a half minutes, they emptied their glasses and refilled with the second bottle and still able to drink more of it.
"How are you holding up Squilizze?" Sandy said to her opponent in the contest.
"I'm doing great but how'd you get through half the glass so fast, this stuff is strong." Squiliza said to Sandy as she was drinking a little faster than normal, which prompted Squiliza to drink a little faster.
As 7 in a half minutes came around, they really got competitive when drinking it and a sign that things were gonna get out of hand was starting to look obvious.
"I don't feel too good but I'm not gonna give upon this." Squiliza said while sipping the wine yet getting nauseous.
"Good thing I'm from land and we can handle some strong things like this." Sandy said as she was in the lead yet not as sick as her competitor.
They continued drinking the wine until the contest was up and were somewhat looking pale.
"Alright, it's been 10 minutes so glasses down." SpongeBob said as he announced the end of the contest. "Looks like Squiliza has more in her glass so Sandy is the winner of the contest."
"Yeah, I'd celebrate but where's the bathroom at?" Sandy said as she needed to go to the ladies' room.
"It's in the back but how are gonna…" Mr. Krabs said telling her where the bathroom is and was about to ask her how she was able to use it in her suit.
"You don't wanna know and I'd rather not say it either." Sandy said as she and Squiliza were going to the ladies' room.
After the ladies went to the restroom, they were talking about what they should do next when Sandy and Squiliza got back. As they were washing their hands, they had a little conversation in the restroom.
"How were you able to drink all that and not get very sick?" Squiliza asked Sandy while using the soap pump.
"Well growing up on dry land and in Texas, I've learned how to drink aged liquor but it really got me buzzed the first time I tried it." Sandy said reflecting on her experience with alcoholic drinks. "I was told a secret on how you can drink it and remove the alcohol from the drink to make it clean."
"How does it work anyway?" Squiliza asked curious on how it works.
"First, I have it strained very good through a series of filters, then I have it flash frozen where the liquid is mostly frozen and a majority of the alcohol is still liquid that is separated in a different container, then pour the frozen slush into a boiler that melts it back into a liquid and the remaining alcohol is boiled away thus cleansing the liquid, then bottle it back up and refrigerate it." Sandy said explaining how the removing of alcohol works. "I made The De-Alcoholizer to incorporate all those things into one machine."
"That seems very full proof, no wonder you could handle that stuff so well." Squiliza said amazed on how it works while she was drying her hands.
"Yeah, let's get back out there and watch more dares." Sandy said as she and Squiliza left the restroom for more games.
After getting back to the event, a montage of things in the dares goes on in a tournament style set with SpongeBob and Squidward in a music contest where SpongeBob won with his ukulele skills, Princess Mindy was with Mrs. Puff in a chair racing contest where Mindy won, then SpongeBob and Patrick in dancing contest playing Dance Dance Revolution backwards where SpongeBob was made winner, and Lego building contest between Sandy and Princess Mindy where Sandy won for building the city of Bikini Bottom in less than 5 minutes. The final contest was SpongeBob and Sandy having a karate smashing showdown.
"Wow, now we got two karate masters up against each other." Princess Mindy said before the event started.
"I remember the times SpongeBob won with the bowling ball trick and the tin cans." Patrick said reflecting on that time.
"And I remember when Sandy won with the return to sender and the Satan-Sauce." Squidward said laughing about how SpongeBob was the butt of those events.
"I nearly fired SpongeBob over something that wasn't his fault, not a day goes by where I don't feel guilty about that." Mr. Krabs said remembering how he made himself look like a mean boss.
"Okay, are you ready to start the match now?" Squiliza said to SpongeBob and Sandy as they were beginning the event.
As the event was starting, they were getting the rules explained to them to make it more interesting for everyone else watching.
"For the Karate Smash, SpongeBob and Sandy will begin inside wooden crates that box each other like gag Christmas presents." Mindy said explaining the rules to SpongeBob and Sandy. "The first one to destroy all the crates their trapped inside with their karate skills wins; also note that using weapons or make-shift weapons out of something random is cheating and it's an automatic loss."
"Well cheating is dishonorable in karate anyway." Sandy said stating the obvious.
"We can do this fair and square." SpongeBob said as they were beginning.
They both went into their crates that they could fit into and move their arms and legs. That crate once they were inside was put inside a slightly larger crate which was then cover up by a Plexiglas cube they then had to try breaking last which made things difficult
"Ready, 3…2…1… Go" Mindy said starting the final contest.
Sandy started karate chopping away in the wood the first crate which gradually started to form a crack in the wood while SpongeBob tried chopping at it and his hand got stuck in a crack that formed in the wood which ripped his arm off trying to free it (don't worry, it obviously regenerated itself).
"This is just a piece of cake for me, I'll win this in no time." Sandy said as she was doing well karate chopping her way out.
"Ow! I've cracked the crate but this dare really cost me an arm and a leg." SpongeBob said as he was getting his arms and legs stuck.
"Wow, how original." Squiliza said as she went to the Bad Punz drum set and made the beat.
The karate dare was almost finished when Sandy just finish the last crate and was about to win the contest while SpongeBob was still stuck in the first box slowly breaking it up with many of lost arms and legs wedged inside the crate cracks.
"Okay, this looks bad for me but I'm far from giving up." SpongeBob said as he built up the last of his strength and started a karate chop and kick at the same time. "Here goes nothing."
As he was using a dual attack with both, the dimensions of the box made it turn into a spin which got faster causing the arms that were wedged to be hit in a way where they shot out of the wedges like speeding bullets and broke all the layers of it all at once freeing him at the same time Sandy freed herself.
"Aww….. Not a tie, that's a no good waste of time."Mr. Krabs complained about the final event resulting in a tie.
"I think we ought to call it a night, its 4 am the next morning." Squidward said clearly tired from seeing the contest the whole day.
"Okay, I guess it's time to go home after the final victor ceremony." Princess Mindy said before the end of the contest. "First place prize for the contest goes to both SpongeBob and Sandy."
"Yay!" Everyone cheered before it turned into a loud simultaneous yawn from being up so late at night.
"Good night everyone, I'll see you all later or when I go in for the morning shift making breakfast for customers." SpongeBob said as he left to go home and come back 4 hours later to work the breakfast shift as the others left as well.
"That was fun wasn't it SpongeBob?" Sandy said after not having left yet.
"Hey Sandy, even though we tied, you deserve to be the winner because I was doing horrible at that to begin with." SpongeBob said feeling Sandy deserves to have first place.
"Don't worry, you pulled off a karate move that I could never do so you're not horrible at this." Sandy said making SpongeBob feel better and congratulating him for the move he managed to do.
"Oh Sandy, you know how to make a day amazing." SpongeBob said making Sandy feel appreciated for her support throughout the years.
"But without you in Bikini Bottom, this town would be a boring underwater city if you never lived here." Sandy said to say how SpongeBob being around is good. "You're the lighthouse in the darkest hour of night, I love you SpongeBob." Sandy said feeling love for her friend.
"Me too, you make life here great too." SpongeBob said as he told Sandy his feelings for her.
"Why don't I go to the pineapple tonight and we have fun." Sandy said as she walked home with SpongeBob.
"Let's go." SpongeBob said winking to the camera.
End of Tale.
Another chapter of TBBT is finish once again, I know it's been a while since I last updated but college has had me tied down.
In the story, I had made a reference to The Simpsons which is also another show I find funny; also that scene I referenced got me in trouble when I was in 4th grade when I told the joke to a kindergartner back in fall of 2006, funny but not something nice to say to a kid when joking.
I do not own any SpongeBob characters or Simpson characters as reference, they are property of Viacom and Fox respectively but this story is my idea.
