A/N: Okay, major fluff chapter. Soccer started and my feet are dying but luckily, you don't need to use your feet at the computer!! HAHA!! 

I'll try to make the next chapter the full moon chapter, but we still have 3 days of them before the full moon!!

Nynaeve80- Ya, she's definitely a horsey girl! Heehee…

Starlily- Yea, it was in the 5th book when Firenze came up to teach that she said she didn't much like horses. I thin she was saying it to spite Lavender and Parvati though…haha. Thanks!!

Bluvly12- Yep, Moony's gonna get Remus into trouble one of these days

Monnbeam- Thanks! I'll try to update a lot, but soccer season is kicking off. Haha get it? Yea…I know it was bad…lmao

Ambie176- She'll always be the bookworm!

Dogluv101- I can't wait to write the full moon chapter. I want to make it really good so it may be a while.

Susanne Claire - Haha, Krum's Herm-o-ninny. I never knew how to say her name until she told Krum how to pronounce it. Haha Thanks, mucho!!


Realizations

Oh my god…I just kissed a teacher!! What's the matter with me? Hermione was frantic…but not…too frantic. You wanted to, that's why you did it. What's so wrong with that? I shouldn't be thinking these things. Nonetheless, she wondered what it would be like to have a relationship with him, to love him and to be with him. He could protect me against those still out there…She recalled his scent…so comforting at Harry's funeral…dryer sheets and earth. It called to her wolfy nature. Stop thinking about that!!

The mood at the dinner table was decidedly awkward that night. Mitsy chatted away animatedly about her day and meeting with other house elves. Apparently Dobby still worked at Hogwarts and he and Winky had begun a relationship. This amused Hermione, for she never really thought about elves in love. Well, how else would there be more elves, silly? She thought to herself. She stole another look at Remus from below her hair. His face was screwed up in concentration and he was chewing slowly. He must be trying to control himself…poor bloke…am I having that much of an effect on him?

Mitsy seemed determined to keep the air free of silence and maintained a constant stream of chatter. Hermione was grateful for the chance to think though.

Would it really be so bad…was what plagued her all through dinner. The next she knew was she was putting on her pajamas. As she was pulling on a baggy t-shirt she got a glimpse of herself in the full length mirror in her room. In was the first time in months she really looked at herself. She was thin, and pale, and hopelessly dirty. Not in a dirt sense…more like…unhealthy. I wonder how people can stand me. I haven't been in this state before. Does he find me attractive like this? She felt self-conscious. Maybe I can take a shower before I go to bed. Where's that bag that Remus brought back? I haven't seen it. Maybe Mitsy knows.

"Mitsy?" she called out quietly. A loud crack later and Mitsy was standing in front of her.

"Yes, Miss?" she asked.

"Do you know where the bag of my stuff that Remus got for me is? I want to take a shower."

"I'll gets is for yous, Miss." She disapparated with a crack and returned a second later with a brown shopping bag. "Here you ares, Miss. Will you be wanting anythings else?"

"No, thank you Mitsy." She bowed low and disapparated.

She looked in the bag and had everything she needed as well as a couple other cosmetic things. She smiled and looked in the mirror. Cosmetics to her gaunt face? I guess it could work. She pulled her bathrobe from the closet, which had been newly cleaned she noted, and took her bag down the hall. She could hear people whispering in Remus's room. He's probably talking with Mitsy. Curiosity got the better of her and she crouched down to listen. She put her ear against the door.

"I won't have her stay here for the full moon. I'm too dangerous without the potion, and I don't want to hurt her. She's even in danger as a female wolf to me because…" There was a pause. "I won't let her stay."

"I thinks." Mitsy said "That if she wants to stay, you should let her. She won't be swayed any other way and if you insist she leave, she might not take it lightly. It coulds cause too much tension." There a pause for a minute. "Couldn't…couldn't she make the Wolfsbane potion for yous?"

"I thought maybe she could. I know she's skilled enough; she's very capable at potions, the best student Snape's taught he said, but I have no ingredients and I could still accidentally bite her. I don't want her to get hurt."

"I think you shoulds let her stay."

There was a long silence. Hermione's knees started to ache.

"I think I'm falling for her Mitsy." Hermione stifled a gasp, but her heart leapt.

"I know. You tolds me a long time ago that you couldn't wait to see her. Tonks wasn't meants for you…"

"I loved Tonks…but you're right…marriage for us wouldn't have worked out. I just feel…like…a dirty old man for wanting Hermione. She deserves so much more. And this close to the full moon makes it almost impossible for me to control my wolf." Ahh…so that's what stirred behind his eyes. I have my inner wolf as well. It started recently…Could…could I be a wolf because of…him!? This thought had never occurred to her.

"Trys to get some sleep, Remus." Hermione stood up and continued toward the bathroom.

She took her shower in the luxurious bathroom. It was fairly large, and had a Jacuzzi tub and a separate shower. It's tiles were rosy red and it had a large mirror built over two sinks. A big fluffy rug covered a majority of the floor. She dried her hair and went back to her room. Crookshanks was on her bed, sleeping. She pulled on her pj's with a saddened look at the mirror. Well, at least I'm clean now. And she was, she felt rejuvenated.

She lay awake on her bed a long time, thinking. Crookshanks was a comforting weight on her chest. She thought about the future…of Harry…of their times together…how she'd give anything to see him again. She started to cry silently, but it was a crying of nostalgia, not of heart-wrencing loss, a silent crying. She cried herself to sleep


She was leaning against a tree in a garden outside of a neat, blue house. That's Remus's houseshe thought. It was a clear summer's day. The sky was blue and there wasn't a cloud in sight. It was all quite peaceful. She looked around and saw Harry playing exploding snap a few feet away.

"Harry?" She asked incredulously. He looked up and smiled. Joyfully, she frantically crawled over to him and tackled him in a hug. "I'd thought I'd never see you again!" She was crying into his shoulder, so happy, so happy she had her Harry at last.

"Hermione, what?" Harry laughed and hugged her back. "Why wouldn't you see me again?"

"Oh I had a horrible dream that you were dead and that Voldemort was defeated but you were gone and I was so lost and lonely. But he was gone!!."

"But I'm not gone…" A familiar voice said and the next thing she knew was there was a flash of green light and that Harry was limp in her arms. Through her shock, she looked up and found herself staring into the red eyes of Voldemort. He was grinning evilly.

"Harry! NO! NOO!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!" She was crying hysterically. She pulled out her wand and shouted "SECTUMSEMPRA!!" through her sobs. Voldemort blocked it and laughed cruelly.

"You stupid Mudblood, how could you possibly defeat me? I even killed you little friend again, look! No one can stop me!"

"But he did!! You're dead!! You're not real!!"

"I'm dead? I think not. I see you as dead, though." He raised his wand.

"Hermione?" a voice called. Remus was walking out of the house and saw the scene before him. His eyes were widened. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at Voldemort, but not quickly enough, for a jet of green light had hit him squarely in the chest.

"REMUS!!" Hermione screamed. Her whole world stopped. Next she saw Mitsy and Crookshanks dart out of the house only to be felled by green light.

"NOOOO!" She fell onto Harry's limp body and start to shake him viciously. "Wake up, Harry!!! WAKE UP!! This isn't real!!"

Then she was sobbing uncontrollably into the arms of someone, being rocked back and forth. Someone smelled like dryer sheets.

"Shhh, Hermione. It's all right, it was just a dream, just a dream." Remus's calm voice broke through the sobs. Hermione didn't calm down. She was shivering uncontrollably. Remus hadn't died, he was holding her right now! Happy sobs broke through the tormented ones and she grabbed him tightly in relief. Voldemort hadn't killed him. It was all right.

They sat that way for a few minutes until Hermione had calmed herself down to the occasional hiccups. She was drenched in cold sweat and felt clammy. Remus let her go and conjured a chair beside her bed, which he sat down in. Hermione drew the blanket around her, sniffed, and looked into his gray eyes. She saw worry there.

"What happened?" He asked quietly. She hiccupped.

"I…had a horrible dream: Harry died again, you died, Mitsy died, everyone died!!…Here…" She took his head in her hands and gave him the memory of her dream. She had learned to do this Horcrux Hunting. Remus flew through Hermione's dreams in a few seconds. Hermione then drew back and curled into a fetal position, shivering, under the blankets.

Remus sat back, feeling horrified. Poor Hermione, he thought. He examined her on the bed, curled into a tight ball, shivering. He leaned forward and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"It was only a dream, Hermione. It's okay, I'm here now." She seemed to relax a little under his touch. He cast a warming charm on her and her shivering ceased. What was causing these nightmares? Had she had them regularly? Maybe it was just her mind wasn't protecting itself now that she felt safe. Part of the horror was seeing me die as well? How about that…He wondered.

He leaned back against the chair and admired her. She fell asleep relatively quickly. In her sleep, she gradually uncurled from her fetal position. Her face was visible now. Remus studied it.

It was still rather sunken from her lack of eating, but Mitsy's magical cooking was making a world of difference. She was so beautiful to him. The curve of her body under the blankets was waking up his inner wolf. He beat Moony back into submission and simply admired her sleeping form. She's so beautiful…she's perfect. She's intelligent, funny, and so beautiful. I think I have an Animagus name for her…Sage…yea…she might like that…

For an hour he sat there, his wolf senses exploring her. He memorized her scent, the intervals of her breathing, the movement of her body as she breathed. Wait… he detected a slight change in he heartbeat. It had accelerated. She began showing signs of distress again. Her face twitched and she started to slightly thrash about. Instead of waiting for her to wake up, he decided to climb on top on the bed with her. Above the covers, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him, and she settled down and sighed. Having her this close to him was making his heart pound in his chest. He could feel arousal coursing through him, but he beat back Moony once again and it settled. He closed his eyes and, extremely happy. "I love you, Hermione," he whispered quietly, and then he fell asleep.

The first thing Hermione noticed when she woke up was that there was a comforting, pleasant warmth at her back. Remus was curled up against her, holding her above the covers. He must have stayed with me until I fell asleep, and fallen asleep. She was perfectly happy just to lay there in his arms, so she did so, and she gradually drifted back to sleep, smiling.

Remus woke up a hour after Hermione ad fallen asleep a second time. Noting where he was, and that he somehow managed to get under the covers with her, he felt awkward and started to disentangle himself from Hermione. His stirring woke her while he was in the process of climbing over her. Her eyes opened sleepily and she looked up into Remus, smiling.

"Well…ummm…" she said noticing their positions. She blushed. "Good morning. Sleep well?" She beamed at him. Remus blushed as well and opened his mouth, but closed it again. He didn't move either, and Hermione seemed perfectly happy with that. Hermione spoke again. "Thank…you…for what you did last night…I'm sorry…I was such a…"

"It's alright." Said Remus hurriedly. Moony had awoken again. This time, Remus was so sleepy he couldn't beat him back for long.

"Those dreams…are…horrible." He said. He moved to get off Hermione before he lost control. He turned his face away to find his footing. However, Hermione grasped his face lightly with one hand and turned it back so that they made eye contact.

"Would it really be so terrible?" She asked quietly. She was reading his mind, all the while Moony was fighting viciously.

"Yes…I" but he got no further. Moony broke through Remus's defenses. His eyes became a fierce yellow and the next thing he knew was that he was kissing Hermione fiercely. She gasped in surprise and pleasure, and melted into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. She opened her mouth wider in invitation. But it was Moony in control, not Remus, and Moony was uncontrollable. Remus explored her mouth with his tongue and emitted a low growl. His started to explore her body furiously with his hands, moving them down over her chest and over her hips. When he reached a sensitive spot, she moaned lightly and arched into him. She tilted her head back and allowed him better access to her neck. He kissed it hungrily, slightly biting and moved to her ear. He nibbled and bit a little too hard.

"Ouch!" Hermione said suddenly and Remus broke through Moony. His eyes became gray again. Then his Remus self-realizing what he just did, felt horrified.

"Hermione, I'm sorry! I'm…oh god." He rolled out from underneath the bed and left the room hurriedly. What just happened… they both thought.

Hermione lay in her bed thinking for a long time. She did want it to happen. She had loved Remus ever since he had been her teacher…When she, Harry, and Ron had come back from Horcrux hunting, there was month of saying at Grimmauld Place until it was time for the final battle. Harry and Ron often stayed up in their room, talking, or occasionally went outside to play Quidditch. Not having a sport to take her mind off things, Hermione turned again to reading, her past time escape from reality. She often holed herself up in Grammauld Place's library, reading up on Dark Magic and protection spells, which she shared with the boys if she found some of interest.


Flashback

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting on her bed, books scattered all about them. Hermione was dictating from one.

"The Protean Charm, generally used for repellants against dementors, can also act animated protector for the caster. Meaning that it can be used almost as a real animal." said Hermione. "Although if you read on, and I won't because it gets technical, it says it's horribly difficult. It's about the difficulty of wandless magic.

"Damn," said Ron. "That's really advanced."

"So it's not likely we'll master it before You-Know-Who's ready to attack us, is it?"

"I'm afraid not…it takes years to become competent at it, just like wandless magic. I just thought it was something interesting."

"Wow," agreed Harry. "That means if I cast it and had this training, I can almost have it as a guardian with me?"

"Or you can use it to lead people places. Regular Patronuses can carry messages, but these special ones can actually stay into being long enough to guide you places."

"So…the doe…the sword…" said Harry in awe.

"Exactly."

"You know, Snape has been on our side all along, but why the hell would his Patronus be a doe?"

"I don't know, why don't you go ask him!" Hermione spat. "You never listened to me about him being on our side all along anyways." She paused and calmed herself down because Harry and Ron were looking sheepish. "He's at Hogwarts anyways." She paused and smiled. "Yea…they gave him Deputy Headmaster for all the crap people had been giving him. Luckily they tried him under veritaserum, so people couldn't say he was lying."

"So we'll have him when we go back next year." Ron stopped dead. He looked over at Harry anxiously, who became stone-faced instantly. Hermione was on the verge of tears.

"I'm still looking Harry!! I'm sure I'm going to find something that will…!"

"It's okay Hermione. I'm…" he gulped and stared stone faced at the ceiling. "I'm going to go for a ride. I'll see you two later." He got up off of Hermione's bed and moved towards the door.

"You want some company, mate?" Ron asked. Harry stopped, but didn't turn around.

"Not where I'm going…" he replied and left.

Ron looked at Hermione, who was crying silently now. "He's probably just going to Godric's Hollow again, Hermione. It's okay." He scooted over next to her and hugged her gently, taking her in his lap. She allowed herself to be coddled while she let the ters flow silently.

"Its' not that…it's just I can't find anything in these books that would help us!! I'm afraid we really are going to lose him!!" She lost it then and just cried her heart out into Ron.

"I…I know." Said Ron quietly, tears also flowing down his cheeks.


Hermione was lost in the memory, the first time she really felt helpless for Harry. After that episode, she felt so utterly helpless. She was terrified for Harry and stayed in the library searching and searching with no results. She often fell asleep in the library and woke up in her bed without any knowledge of how she got there. One night, she tried to go to sleep at the normal time, but couldn't. She lay awake for hours before finally giving up. She went to downstairs to the kitchen to make herself some coffee. And went back up to the library to do more research.


When she opened the library door, she gasped when she saw Lupin curled up in chair by the window, and almost dropped her tea. Lupin looked up at her with shock and then smiled.

"Couldn't get to sleep?" She nodded "…well that makes two of us." He sipped from a steaming mug. Hermione walked over to her favorite armchair by the fire and took up the book the was laying on the armrest. Setting her coffee on the table next to her, she opened the book where she marked it and began to read. They both read in comfortable silence.

"Hermione?" She looked up. Lupin still has his head bent over his book.

"Yes, Professor?" He picked up his book and silently moved to the armchair next to hers. He set his mug next to Hermione's and looked at her. His eyes are such a startlingly beautiful gray, I never noticed before.

"Are you still looking up ways to help Harry?"

She nodded and averted her eyes. "I can't find anything…my books have never failed me so utterly before. I feel so lost and helpless. I'm…afraid." She felt ashamed for saying it.

"I am too." This startled her.

"You're afraid?" she asked.

"Yes…I'm afraid for Harry, Tonks," She felt a strange surge of emotion she couldn't identify "Ron, you, everybody. I have a feeling that not all of us will make it." They were both silent for a while. "I'm especially afraid for Harry. He's all I have left of James and Sirius, and he's gotten to be on of my good friends. I also think his fate is more perilous than all of ours. I can't seem to find any way to help him."

"Have you been coming up here every night?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, ever since you came back and told us about Harry being a Horcrux. But I can't seem to find anything…I'm getting frustrated as you are. For the next two days…" he glanced out the window "I won't be able to help." Hermione reached out and took his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. "Maybe we could pool our knowledge together to help Harry." Lupin only nodded and squeezed Hermione's hand in response. He let her hand go and picked up his mug to take a sip. He made a face and set it back down.

"I hate cold coffee." He looked at Hermione. "You're drinking coffee, too?"

"Yes, I love coffee. It's also almost a comforting drink. My parents are dentists, so they hate it, but find it's a necessary evil." She smiled.

"Yes, I drink mine black." He grinned.

"I put a little milk and sugar in." They fell silent and without any prompting, both picked up their books and began to read, determined to save someone they both loved.

After that night, they continued to meet at the same time and red. Sometimes they would talk and sometimes they wouldn't, but it helped them both. Just sitting there, reading with their cups of coffee.


It was all for naught…but…that's when first started to really fall for Remus. Hermione thought. Ron and I were never meant to be. I wonder why he ran out this morning…I can tell he wants what I do. She reluctantly got up out of bed and looked at the clock. It was 10:13. She sighed and began to dress. Hedwig had returned in the night with a Daily Prophet and was sleeping on her perch, head under her wing. Crookshanks was nowhere about. Hermione pocketed her wand, left her room, and cautiously approached Remus's door. She knocked and the door swung inward. Remus was sitting in his armchair, his fingers together, with a look of severe concentration on his face. His legs were draped over one of the armrests, his head on the other armrest. She walked quietly over to him and conjured a chair next to his. They were silent for a while.

"Remus?" Hermione broke the silence. He turned sharply and she saw his eyes were a bright, feral yellow again. Upon gazing at her however, she saw them morph into his beautiful gray. They held contact for a few seconds, and Hermione noticed that they were beginning to water.

"Remus! What's the matter?" She sprang up and hugged him protectively, but he didn't welcome her embrace. He remained as he was, eyes glistening. She backed off of him, hurt. She sat down again and the look he gave her made her heart melt. It was full of confusion, loss, and love.

"I feel lost. I don't know what to do." He turned away and gazed out the window next to the armchair. This startled Hermione. Not know what to do? Remus? Then it hit her. He was probably thinking he was too old for her, and that he would mess up her life, the normal things Remus thought when it came to love.

"Remus." He didn't turn. "Remus!" Still nothing. "Professor!" His head whipped around and he caught Hermione's bright stare.

"I know what you are thinking, and I don't care. I've made my decision."

"You don't know what you're saying, I'm a monster, a beast. I'm old. I'm poor."

"I don't care." They were silent, just holding each other's gaze. Finally Remus looked away. That's strange, Hermione thought His instincts shouldn't have allowed him to look away. Dogs base dominance on the ability to hold eye contact, and he looked away first. What's going on?

"Remus, I was thinking this morning, and I remember the three weeks where we spent the nights in the library. Do you remember?" No response. "I do, and I have to ask you something." He turned. "Where you the one that carried me to bed when I fell asleep in the library?" Something sparkled in those eyes.

"Yes." He smiled slightly. "You were there every night when I went up to research. Instead of waking you and sending you off, I thought I should allow you to sleep and simply put you to bed."

"I was always in my night clothes when I woke up, though" Remus blushed furiously and looked away. Hermione smiled.

"Remus? I don't care if you're a werewolf, or older than me, or if you think I am too good for you. I'm not. I've liked you ever since you were my teacher where I was 13 years old. I've felt something for you ever since that night in Grimmauld Place." He looked at her with a sad happiness, and his eyes were filling again. She crawled onto his lap on the armchair and lay down on top of him in the armchair, head on his shoulder. She cuddled up close to him and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. "I love you," she whispered into his ear.

He turned to look at her and she gazed into those gorgeous gray eyes. He leaned forward two inches and kissed her, finding that he didn't need to say anything at all.

A/N: Yay for mucho fluff!!!