Kureno left after that, and I quickly hurried back to Shigure's house. Tohru had already started dinner by the time I had gotten there. I decided to keep Kureno and Uotani's meeting a secret for now. And the way to break the curse.

Yuki smiled at me as he saw me. My heart felt like it was going to break. To free him from Akito, all I had to do was take my own life…Simple, yes?

"Is something wrong?" Yuki asked as he set a cup of tea down on front of me, on the table. A second later, he sat beside me.

I smiled at him, trying my best to make it seem genuine. "No, of course not. I'm sorry to worry you."

"Well," Yuki said, thinking it over for a moment, "you know, if there is ever anything on your mind, you can always talk to me…"

I was able to smile brightly this time. "Thank you."

**************

Later, in the room I shared with Tohru, I sat on my bed in the dark. Tohru was already sleeping, and I listened to her quiet breathing, hoping it would calm me down. It didn't. I walked to my dresser, and quietly rummaged through the things Hatori had brought for me, hoping he hadn't found it. As my fingers slid across the cold, smooth metal, I sighed with relief. I pulled the razorblade out of the folds of my clothes, and retreated back to my bed. I grabbed a tissue from the nightstand beside my bed. Calmly, I set the sharp metal edge against my wrist.

As I slid it across my wrist, I watched the skin split. The cut was too sharp for the blood to well up immediately, but it began ooze the dark red liquid. The wound began to throb slightly as the blood was pumped through the ruptured veins. I never imagined I'd do this again ever since I had met Yuki. I never would have thought that this could be what freed him from his torment.

I wanted more. More pain. More blood. It was something I deserved. I licked the blood as it trailed across my wrist. Even the taste of my blood was wrong. Filthy. How could I ever be someone Yuki could be proud of to love? It could never be.

I set the blade to my other wrist, and watched this one was the blood seeped from it, as well. It still didn't feel like enough. The blood was already clotting and drying.

Determined, I pressed the blade into the gash of first wound, sawing it deeper and deeper. The pain seared like a hot knife. Blood surged over the blade, and dripped down, stained the pajamas I wore. When I was satisfied with the amount of pain and blood from the first cut, I proceeded to do the same with the second.

Blood…There was so much blood. The smell permeated the room. I licked as much as I could from my wrists, but soon it grew too much for me to handle. I wiped a bit of it up with the tissue before giving up.

I snuggled back under the covers of my bed. In my state of mind right now, I didn't care that the sheets and blankets were being irreparably stained with red.

I was feeling weak as I lost more and more blood. I allowed the weariness to steal me off into slumber.

**************

I awoke the next morning to the sounds of screaming. I jolted awake to see Tohru, screaming at me. All at once I remembered what I had done the previous night, and I saw all the blood that had soaked into the bed.

I leapt up and slapped my hand across her mouth to silence her. She looked fearfully at me. No doubt all the men in the house had heard her screams. I could now hear them running up the stairs.

I threw myself back in my bed, pulling the blankets up to cover all the blood that could be seen. I shoved my bloody hands and wrists under them as well.

"I'll talk to you in a minute! When they ask, say you had a nightmare!" I demanded of Tohru. She still looked terrified, but she nodded obediently.

Kyo and Yuki burst through the door, followed a moment later by Shigure. The two boys looked frantic. Shigure only slightly concerned.

"Tohru?! What's wrong?!" Kyo's eyes flitted about the room, looking for the thing that had been bothering Tohru. I prayed desperately that I hadn't missed covering up any of the blood.

"A - a nightmare," Tohru stammered weakly. "About zombies."

Kyo stared in wonder at her. Yuki only smiled humorously. We all knew that Tohru couldn't handle things like monsters, ghosts and zombies.

"I'll get her calmed down," I promised them. "Perhaps one of you should start breakfast?"

The three left the room. I sighed in relief. Tohru glanced over at me.

"Rara…Are you okay?" She asked in a hesitant voice. I sighed.

"For the most part." I slid my arms out from under the covers. I lifted them up to show her. "I slit my wrists last night."

Tohru gasped in shock and bent down to me in a panic. "Why?!"

"Get me some bandages, a bowl of water, and a cloth. I'll tell you everything."

**************

Tohru washed and bandaged my wrists as I talked.

"Yesterday after school, I met with someone a member of the Zodiac. One of the ones I know best. I don't think you've met him yet. He told me a way to break the curse."

Tohru perked up at this. "How?"

I didn't wish to tell her the condition involving Kyo. She was likeliest candidate to fall in love with Kyo, and be loved by him in return. If I told her, she might feel like it was her duty to fall in love with Kyo. And that wouldn't work.

"All you need to know is that it requires my death. If I die, the cursed Sohmas will all be freed. All of them." I bent down my head, not wanting to see Tohru's expression. Most likely, she'd be crying.

"It's not worth your death!" I was right, there was the sound of tears in her voice.

"You don't know that." I said harshly. "Maybe it's like that to you. But, to the Zodiac members who don't even know of me, they would all be overjoyed to hear that the ending of a meaningless person like me could save them. They would probably come after me themselves. Even to those I have met…Shigure, Hatori, Kyo…Yuki…To them, my death will be a small price to pay for their freedom." I forced myself to believe that Yuki would feel the same as the others if they ever found out this certain method to break the curse.

Tohru was silenced by my words, but her tears ran down her cheeks. I felt sorry for making her sad, but that was just how it was. Hesitantly, I reached out to her and hugged her. Tohru was too good of a person to suffer through the pain she had in life. She didn't need more. And I wanted to be the last person to force more suffering on her. But…What will be, will be.

I patted Tohru's leg, before getting up and sliding on a sweater to cover up the bandages. I would throw away the bloody sheets, cloth, and clothes after school. I was grateful that our navy blue uniforms had long sleeves. Tohru, with a sudden surge of inspiration, trotted to the closet and got a sweater for herself. I gave her a quizzical look.

"So that the others won't ask why you're wearing a sweater!" She exclaimed proudly. I smiled at her thoughtfulness.

I was really going to miss her. I prayed to the gods that if Tohru and Kyo ever got together, Akito would never find out. Tohru didn't deserve any more pain.