Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

A/N: I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in so long! College got a bit crazy. But I'm on break now, so I'm back with a longer update for you all.


Teddy had never felt so awkward in his entire life.

He and his godfather were still in the bathroom, sitting on shards of glass, completely silent. Harry had healed his arm and wiped at his eyes, only for more tears to fall. Teddy had never seen him cry before. Harry had always seemed unbreakable; nothing seemed to faze him. Yet he sat on a dirty bathroom floor, silently crying over his stupid godson.

The silence dragged on. Minutes felt like hours. How long had they been sitting there? Was Nan worried? Why hadn't she been upstairs yet? Did Harry think that Teddy was a nutter? The questions whirled around his brain; he felt as though he were suffocating under all of the anxiety. But he couldn't lose it, not again...

"Teddy?"

Teddy started, not expecting Harry to speak, and stared. The conversation was inevitable, he knew that, yet he couldn't stop his hands from shaking.

Harry noticed, and grabbed his hands. He tried to give Teddy a smile and said, "I'm not angry or anything. But we need to talk."

You may not be angry, but you'll think I'm...I'm mad after this. Fuck, fuck, fuck..

"...just me and you. Okay?"

Teddy didn't know what Harry had said, but he nodded anyway. "Okay."

"Good." Harry cleard his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. "Erm..."

Great, he doesn't know what to say to me.

"Is this the first time you've done that, Teddy?" Harry asked, sounding as though he were choosing his words carefully.

"Don't answer, stupid. You can't go two hours without puking anymore, and he'll just try to take that away from you. Don't give in."

"Yeah. I dunno what happened." When had lying become second nature to him?

"Liar. You've had loads of panic attacks before."

Shut up.

Harry looked at him and narrowed his eyes. "Don't lie to me, Teddy. You were sobbing, begging me to help you. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"He just wants to feel good about himself, that's why he's helping you."

Shut the fuck up, okay? Harry loves me.

"Seriously, Harry, I don't know what's been going on with me..." He needed to talk; to spill his deepest, darkest secret, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

"You've said too much."

"Er..Well...Does it have something to do with your Nan? School? Your friends?" Teddy had never seen his godfather look so awkward and unsure of himself before. He suddenly felt bad; he knew that Harry wasn't the best at handling emotional things, and here he was, making everything worse. Harry had his own children to worry about; he should have been at home playing with them instead of trying to help his friend's fucked up son.

"Ted, have you cut yourself before?"

"Lie..."

"No." Truthfully, Teddy had done it before. But it had been years ago, before the binging and purging took over. After he began to binge and purge, he hadn't cut himself once.

Until today. And that was an accident.

"Teddy..." Harry sighed. "Teddy, look, your friends and professors have been writing to your Nan and me all year. They think you're sick, and after I saw you during Christmas break, I began to see why. Kid, you look like shit. You're very skinny, you're pale, your face is sunken in...And I know you're not happy. You don't talk to anyone anymore, you don't seem to care about anything; you don't come and spend time with us and the Weasleys anymore. I'm not stupid. I know when something's wrong. And yet, you continue to sit here and tell me, Ginny, Neville, your friends and everyone else that you're fine. Your friends and teachers have said that they think you make yourself throw up, yet you're fine. I don't get it." He ran his hands through his messy hair and tugged.

Teddy continued to stare at him, dumfounded by his speech. He had hoped that he would be able to isolate himself without anyone caring, thinking that they wouldn't be as hurt once he was dead. He didn't know what to think. He knew he looked sick; he sure felt it. But he just couldn't stop...

"...and you're covered in glass and blood. But nothing's wrong, of course!"

Now he's angry...

"It's all your fault. You're worthless."

I know.

"You deserve to die."

I know.

"So do it."

He couldn't bear it anymore. The binging, the purging, the lying, the sneaking and isolating, the self-hating...It had become too much. He couldn't live this way anymore. He couldn't go on wanting to stay in bed, because he was too depressed to move. Mostly, he couldn't hurt his family anymore. He couldn't hurt his family anymore. He had two options.

He picked up a shard of glass, ignoring the glance from Harry. One slice, and it would all be over. He could sleep; be at peace; be with his mother and father. One slice and he wouldn't hurt so badly anymore.

He barely registered the glass falling from his fingers. His heart pounded in his chest. He knew what he was about to say would have conseqences, but he didn't really care at this point. He opened his mouth to speak.

"Harry, I-" He was interrupted by the door swinging open.

In the doorway stood his grandmother. Her face was red, a sign that she was angry.

"Edward Remus, what in Merlin's beard happened up here? The bathroom is covered in glass, you and Harry are both sitting in it, Harry looks like he's been crying...You've been up here for hours. What is going on?"

Harry quickly stood, wincing as his knees cracked. "Now, Andromeda, Teddy and I were just talk-"

"Talking about what?"

"I found him in here, covered in glass, having a breakdown and he had cut-"

"A breakdown, eh? From all of the throwing up, I suppose?"

Harry bristled with barely surpressed rage. "I don't know if he throws up or not, okay? He was about to say something before you barged in here! Andromeda, he cut-"

His grandmother turned to him; her eyes were blazing with anger. "Well? Do you?"

"Andromeda, get the hell out of here!"

"Stop!" Both adults turned to look at Teddy, surprised. Teddy took a deep breath and stared straight at his godfather, prentending Nan wasn't in the room. It was just him and Harry...He could tell Harry everything...

"Everyone's right. I eat a lot of food and make myself throw up. And before that, I cut myself."

He barely had any time to register either of their faces before he pushed past them and stalked out of the room. He ran into the bedroom that had once been his mother's and flung himself onto the bed. He had just revealed his deepest secrets to Harry. The binging and purging hadn't been a secret for a long time, apparently, but his self-harm was something no one but himself knew about. And now, Harry and his grandmother both knew.

He heard angry whispers coming from the hall. They're talking about me, he thought. I'm a freak. Nan's angry with me; she'll kick me out...I have nowhere to go...Harry probably thinks I'm fucking crazy...

He wanted to die.

"Just do it then."

Okay.