This Day

River asked him to drop her off at the West Entrance when they finally left the Frost Fair; it had been such a long time since she'd broken in to Stormcage, she said, and besides, it wouldn't be much of a birthday if she couldn't have some fun at the warden's expense. The Doctor grinned at her. "Anything for the birthday girl," he said as he dashed around the console to reset the coordinates. He was doing it wrong, but she smiled and let him fly anyway.

They kissed goodbye just inside the TARDIS doors, as the storms that gave Stormcage its name raged behind them. He cupped her cheek in one hand as she rested her free hand against his chest. His nose was still cold from the London chill, but it felt lovely against her cheek, and she leaned into him a little, smiling around the kiss.

She pulled away from him gently, kissing the corner of his mouth, then his cheek. She rested her head on his shoulder and slid her arms around to embrace him lightly. "Thank you, Doctor," she whispered.

"Not at all," he replied quietly, his arms around her waist. "Happy birthday, River."

They kissed one more time, and then she dashed through the rain to the West Entrance door. She picked the lock with a couple of her hairpins, setting off a few alarms in the process. Let them ring, she thought as she waltzed through the door. They'll figure it out sooner or later.

She didn't even try to hurry back to her cell. It was bound to be another sleepless night in Stormcage, but she hardly minded. It would give her time to think about what a day this had been. Oh, what a day. He'd shown up before her breakfast had, wearing an old fashioned suit and a ridiculous hat that she snatched off his head before they even took off. He had the whole day planned out, from Stevie's performance under London Bridge to the ice skating on the Thames, though she got the impression he hadn't planned to fall down quite so many times. But it was a perfect day from start to finish, even if she had to end it in Stormcage. She'd see the Doctor again soon enough.

She hadn't expected to see her father waiting in the corridor outside her cell, but it was, for a few short seconds, a pleasant surprise.

Until he told her why he had come.

Until he asked her to come back with him and help, to join the fight at Demon's Run.

She told him no. And when he asked her why, she told him what she could. "Because this is it," she said, stepping back into her cell. "This is the day he finds out who I am." This is the day you find out who I am, she thought, but she didn't dare say it out loud.

Rory stared at her and said nothing, his silence and the hard look in his eyes more damning than any words might have been. She stared back at him, not trusting herself to say anything more. She wanted more than anything to change her mind, to tell him yes, to change into some proper clothes and go with him, because what could be more important than her parents' happiness? But there was nothing she could do. Time could be rewritten, but not all of it. Not this time, not ever. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't, and she couldn't explain why, not without giving it all away.

After a few more minutes, Rory shook his head and turned away. Her heart broke as he walked off down the corridor. There's nothing you can do, she thought, closing the bars across her cell. You did as much as you could when you got there. There's nothing else you can do right now. She sobbed quietly, once. There were tears running down her cheeks, but she didn't bother to wipe them away.

How had this happened? She leaned against the bars to her cell, still crying softly. Had the Doctor known? Had he known when he picked her up this morning? He had to have known. He'd already done Demon's Run, he'd known who she was when they'd done diaries this morning. He'd already done this, dropped Rory off here to ask for her help.

He'd known. He had to have.

River sobbed again, wiping her eyes ineffectually as she crossed her cell to her bed. She tried to blink the tears away as she began to change, slowly unlacing and unbuttoning the layers of her dress, but it didn't work. The world blurred. She wiped her eyes and kept moving. She needed to think about something other than Demon's Run, about something other than the look in her parents' eyes when she told them the truth. When they realized that while their daughter would be safe and happy eventually, they would never get to raise her properly.

She was standing in her corset and petticoat, her hair a curly tangle across her shoulders, when she heard the groan of the TARDIS engines. She froze, her fingers looped in the corset's laces. No. He couldn't be coming here.

But wouldn't he, though? He hadn't done Demon's Run yet. He still thought he needed her, and she knew he wasn't going to take no for an answer, even from Rory.

She dropped the laces and hastily wiped her eyes again, then gathered up the dress. The TARDIS doors creaked open; she balled the fabric in her hands, but didn't turn around. She wasn't sure she could look him in the eye just now. "I don't care what you have to say." Her voice shook, and she balled the dress more tightly in her hands. "I'm not coming."

"I—"

"I don't want to hear it!" She dropped the dress back on her bed and bit back a sob. Anything he might say to her now had gone through her mind a dozen times already, since before Demon's Run and after.

Don't you care about them? About Amy? Yes, more than anything.

This is their child. Why don't you want to help? I know, I know. I wish I could. I'd tear the universe apart to put it right for them, if only I could. But I can't. You said time was not the boss of me, but you lied.

Do it for me. I've done so much for you. Help me, just this once. I can't, my love, I can't. You'll understand soon enough, and I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry, but I can't help you. Not this time.

"Please," she whispered, closing her eyes. "Just go."

"River, I—"

"Doctor, please. I can't—"

"River, what's the matter?"

There was something about his voice that made River pause. Something gentler than she'd been expecting from a Doctor right on the cusp of Demon's Run. "I—when are we?" she asked.

"Um, right after the Frost Fair?" He sounded rather surprised that she was asking at all. "You forgot your cake, which... now that I think about it, probably isn't on your list of priorities right now. What's happened?"

She turned around at once, and there he was, standing in front of the TARDIS in the same old-fashioned suit, holding a plate with an oversized slice of cake on it and staring at her. Her Doctor. She smiled a little, but the tears were still coming. "I—Rory was here," she said.

"Rory?" the Doctor said. "And Amy? Did I stop by as well, or is that a spoiler?"

She shook her head. "It was just Rory. He—he asked me to come to Demon's Run."

Understanding crossed his face almost immediately. "Oh, River…"

"I told him no," she said quietly, though he already knew. "I had to. And I had to watch him leave and—I didn't think it would hurt this much." She sobbed again, and buried her face in one hand.

"But it always does," he replied, his voice almost inaudible through a thunderclap. "I'm—I'm sorry, River."

"It's all right," she said, even though it wasn't.

"I know," he said.

She closed the space between them, reaching through the bars to hold him, to bury her hands in his jacket and pull him close enough to kiss. He yielded to her, letting her push past his lips into a slow and gentle kiss. He cupped her cheek with his free hand, wiping away the tears that lingered there as he opened his mind to hers, filling her mind with assurance and comfort.

She didn't know how long the kiss lasted, but it ended with her forehead resting against his, their faces pressed between the bars of her cell. His mind was still linked with hers, and she preferred it that way, at least for now.

The Doctor kept the link up even when he pulled away from her to sonic the cell open. She smiled at him sadly as the bars slid away, and leaned into him as they walked back to the TARDIS.

He left the slice of cake sitting on one of the chairs in the console room, and they retreated, arm in arm, to their bedroom, to find what comfort they could in one another.

Hours later, she lay awake next him, her head resting on his bare chest, listening to his hearts beat and the gentle sound of the TARDIS around them. Her tears were long gone now, but she still could not fully banish the image of Rory from her mind. She had known for the longest time that this day was coming, that she would have to say no when the time came. But she had always thought that the Doctor would come, that the Doctor would ask her for her help at Demon's Run. Not Rory. Not her own father.

She wondered if the Doctor—her Doctor—had even remembered that it was today. That today was the day she would be forced to say no, and in so doing send her parents into the greatest pain of their young lives. Maybe he didn't remember, which would be rather like him. Maybe he did. Maybe that's what all of today—the Frost Fair, Stevie Wonder, all of it—had been for. An apology for what he'd done all those years ago.

She thought about her parents as she drifted off to sleep in his arms. She'd have to visit them in the morning, see how they were. Help them get through this, if she had to. And she would. They were her parents, after all.