Telling me to go

But hands beg me to stay

Your lips say that you love

Your eyes say that you hate

There's truth in your lies

Doubt in your faith

What you build you lay to waste

There's truth in your lies

Doubt in your faith

All I've got is what you didn't take

So I won't be the one

Be the one to leave this in pieces

And you will be alone

Alone with all your secrets,

Your regrets

Don't lie

You promised me the sky

Then tossed me like a stone

You wrapped me in your arms

And chilled me to the bone

-"In Pieces"-

7) Two sides equated

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Near allowed his wife to believe she was being adored. He lay on their bed, on top of her, listening to her deafening silence as her brown eyes swept into his own. He held her with both hands, his fingertips almost sinking to the flesh of her wrists. She had her lips parted, and with all her strength she lifted herself up to kiss him in the mouth. She had her eyes closed but his remained watching. She tasted like saliva, but the taste was bitter it made his throat go dry. Her body was trembling against his. She was sweating and panting and begging him to go on. When he removed his hands around her wrists, she ran her fingers through his hair. He kissed her harder because he knew she wanted it. He plunged himself inside her deeper because he knew it would drive her mad. He wanted her to be his, and when you mark your territory, you woo it into submission.

There was a lot of grunting and moaning and other muffled sounds. Then there was completion. When they have reached the climax of their supposed lovemaking—to Misa it might have been but to Near it was more like part of the matrimonial requirements—the young man slowly lay down on the bed, gathering his breath as he stared up at the ceiling. He regarded the woman beside him indifferently.

She returned it, but with a less stoical gesture. She turned to rest her head on his chest, crumpling once more the creases of his white pajama top. She played with its buttons. He didn't move from the touch. He kept gazing up. Misa didn't mind this. She just wanted him to hold her close. He knew that and he had his arm behind her, hand above her shoulder blade. She closed her eyes and inhaled him. She thought about irony, she thought about Light and it almost brought tears to her eyes. So she try to forget about being sad or being happy. Just the feel of his body pressed against hers is peace. No, not peace. Nothing but that. There was no word that could explain the feeling. Empty, maybe? But she wanted it nevertheless.

Near was thinking of what she was thinking. She might be regretting this, but she knew she had no choice. And what about him? He knew he wanted Misa out of power and lust. The power that comes from years of trying to gain full possession of the men before him, he wanted to be the last one standing. And the lust, the animal instinct, the carnal gratification that is considered normal. Sex was an impressive display of control. Sex was what Misa could give him but in more ways she could baffle and keep him excited as well. He wanted to know how it would be for her if she found out the truth. He wanted to know if he also had power to break her now that he had molded her back into the right shape.

XXX

"Where were you last night?" his wife asked.

It was around nine in the morning when he got back home. He looked over at the curtains, and wanted to pull them across so the sun would stir their slumber sleepy heads. He answered, "I was at work."

She yawned and sat up, fingers tracing his chest. "You want to eat anything?"

"Would you pull up the curtains for me, Misa?"

She began to walk around the room and did what he asked. Then she picked up their clothes from under the bed. She folded his pants while he remained lying there, eyes squinting from the sun's light. He sat up at last and yawned. He rubbed his eyes and run a hand through the untidy silver locks of his hair. Then he said, "Wear something nice this evening. I'm taking you to a dinner party around seven."

"What's your definition of 'nice,' Nini?" Misa placed herself on his lap, fixing the stubborn silver locks. He looked up at her blankly.

"Something elegant, something white," Near run his hands to feel her breasts. Then he added, "You're thirty-seven now, Misa. You're no longer a young girl."

Misa's lips curled into a half-snarl. Near saw it and smiled enigmatically as a response, saying, "You always turn heads, Misa. You turn mine. Why do you think I asked you to marry me?"

They remained silent. They knew why, and they didn't. Near observed her reaction. Misa just blinked. Then she smiled and kissed his forehead. "I'll see what I can wear for you, Nini."

She walked to her closet and opened it, exposing a large mirror. She looked at herself and realized how young she looked despite her age, despite the pain she'd been through. There were barely any lines in her forehead. Her skin was still fresh and fair like it was when she was in her twenties. And her blonde hair was still the same richness in color. It was only her eyes that gave it away. There was finally a gleam of adulthood in those brown eyes. No longer a foolish young girl. Now a woman of substance. Misa doesn't know how to feel about it, but there was, of course, pride.

Near watched her as she looked at herself in the mirror. He was smiling dully. He knew he had affirmed her and made her glow in that. He looked at her and knew she was still attractive. She had those curves and Near liked the strong legs that wrapped themselves around his waist whenever they made love. He couldn't hide the bemused look in his eyes.

"I found something, Nini." She lifted a dress so he could see it.

"Yes, that's perfect."

But he was barely referring to the dress.

Manhattan, Wednesday evening

Misa stepped out of the limousine. Paul Carlson watched the petite woman glide as she walked. He kept his chin up, his dark sunglasses hiding the grim fascination he had for such a woman. Ian was beside him, looking at Misa as well. Paul coughed while saying, "She calls him Nini, you know that?"

Ian said nothing. Paul added, "Like a pet or something."

"Nini is derived from Near."

"Doesn't take a genius to get that one right, Ian but I doubt idiots can figure out the simple meaning behind this whole marriage thing."

Ian glanced slightly at him. He couldn't care less. "You look like hell."

"Of course I do, my wife dragged me here."

"I wish I could say the same for myself, you lucky asshole." Ian smiled at Misa when she finally saw them waiting for her.

"Ouch, truly sorry, Ian. That wasn't my intention."

Ian looked at him, bewildered at first then he chuckled. "Nah, I'm probably the lucky one because I'm a bachelor."

"Yeah, lucky asshole." Paul extended his arm for Misa to take. The new Mrs. River nodded her head and placed her hand, and she let him escort her inside.

"This seems to be a promising night," Misa remarked to no one in particular. Ian was the one who responded.

"It's for corporate greed, fair lady, and among other things that people here gathered for. It's an event our agency has been going to for four years now."

"The spicy crustaceans are delectable, that's what I go here for," Paul added. He grinned around the others they pass by, and then he whispered to Misa, "they make me sick."

Misa pondered that. Paul looked at Ian and mouthed "fair lady?" and Ian just shrugged his shoulders, and they squeezed themselves in through the crowds.

Misa saw her husband at last. He was beside a champagne fountain, staring emptily at the alcohol. He had his glass under it and she wondered if he wanted a drink but it looks more like he's simply playing with it. Typical social retardation from Near, as always. She gazed at his white suit that fitted him just right in every angle. She smiled, wondering why she was giddy just looking at him. It's was almost disgusting.

"Too young for that, Near." Paul nonchalantly grabbed Near's glass and gulped the contents down hard.

Near turned to his employer and replied point-blank. "I have sex."

Paul raised an eyebrow as if that's the stupidest thing he had heard from his boss. "I see the connection. I really do."

Ian took this as a cue to explain. "Near is suggesting that if he's old enough to have sex, then he can drink. Sorry, I think you're being sarcastic, Paul. But just in case you're not..."

"Yeah. Crystal explanation, Ian."

Misa watched the three of them and found it strange that everything seemed all too goddamn natural. She married the man who symbolized everything her last lover was against and she's drinking with his agents who had stripped her naked and mocked her as they interrogated her for her crimes.

"A lot has happened since we gave those nutjobs the death penalty. Cult activities decreased to a nonexistent proportion." Paul offhandedly commented. Ian shot him a look that Misa caught. She pretended that the conversation has nothing to do with her, since Paul was doing a good job acting that way.

"I don't think Mrs. River is comfortable with this conversation," said Mr. Sensitive Ian.

Paul made a face and said, "I think I preferred more when you addressed her as fair lady, pal."

Near blinked and cocked his head to one side. "Fair lady?"

Paul gestured his hands with open palms in an expression of ridiculousness. "I know!"

Near turned to Ian. Ian shrugged his shoulders. Misa mentally rolled her eyes.

"Those goddamn fools don't know anything 'bout politics!"

Near led Misa to a group of men with their wives. Three of the women greeted her politely, and Misa returned the sentiment with less enthusiasm. She gripped Near's hand and focused her attention on the man scolding passionately among them as they circled around him. He was a pudgy, tall man with a high-pitched voice.

"Shit-brained fools got no settled score," he was saying. Few people from other crowds turned their heads to their group once in a while. "I told my wife once that I could take a hammer to their heads anytime, anywhere."

"Mr. Marlon Jenson is president of the biggest company producing magnum shoes." Ian appeared from a corner and whispered to Misa gently. "Mr. River would like you to welcome his wife, Misa River." He placed his arms behind Misa and Near, addressing the group,

"Mr. River has chosen a wife well." An almond-eyed brunette measured Misa with a small smile. Ian was called by the host and left. "Or has Mr. Rosenberg chosen for him?"

"I make my own choices, Ms. Debritt." Near regarded her politely. She laughed.

"Gladys, don't embarrass the boy!" Mr. Jenson countered. He turned to Misa and winked. "My sister-in-law is a control freak, you see."

"Dandy," Near answered. He smiled crookedly at Gladys, who returned it. Misa was not paying attention. She was staring at her wine glass as if nothing could be more interesting, until someone blurted out, "Are you the Lady of Justice?"

The women looked at a fiftyish woman with a weathered but kind face. Suddenly they were all looking at Misa, each with their own version of mock curiosity. The other woman beside Misa, maybe around her age, looked away and whispered something to her husband and they excused themselves.

"You're brave to stand up for yourself like that." The elder woman kept talking between giggles. Her tone was too cordial. "Lucky you, having a teenage detective smitten all over you, eh, Mrs. River?"

Misa was about to reply she considered it no luck or coincidence. It was premeditated. She was reminded again of how much she could hate Near. Her ears felt hot but she didn't look down, didn't give the other women a chance to condemn her.

"Regine, darling!" Gladys laughed heartily. She was thankfully more accommodating. She addressed Misa. "She's nosy just like old women are doomed to be."

She took her brother-in-law's arm and gazed at Misa with open wonder. "How about a dance? Regine's husband will come for her later. Isn't that right, darling? You don't mind Mr. and Mrs. River leaving your company, do you now?"

Regine didn't display her disdain publicly. She made a quick bow and smile then she went away.

Gladys led Marlon Jenson to the dance floor. He grinned and placed his arm around her waist, pulling her close. Near did the same thing with Misa. They met each other's eyes.

"Can you dance?" Misa asked him.

"I have yet to discover my sense of rhythm."

"Just like in sex, eh, Near?" Paul appeared from nowhere, holding up a plate while devouring a lobster. His face was slightly red like he had too much playtime with the champagne fountain.

Ian placed his shoulders on the man and said, "Inappropriate, Agent Carlson." They left.

Misa turned back to Near. "This is ridiculous."

"Nonsense!" Gladys went between them. Her eyes sparkled as she announced. "I shall gladly teach Mr. River if his wife doesn't mind."

"I don't..." Misa watched them turn around together to the music, drifting away from her, "...really care."

Mr. Jenson asked her to dance, and she did because she was bored and she had no choice, and it would help her observe that suspicious Gladys smiling welcomingly at Near's bemused face.

When they made themselves comfortable at the dinner table, Misa gripped Near's hand again, this time with spite. Then she leaned down and asked, "Do you wanna sleep with her?"

"Like sex?"

"No other kind, Near."

"No," Near answered then he considered the thought later. "But under the circumstances, it seems unavoidable."

"She fancies you." Misa looked away, annoyed that it was pissing her off.

"I vowed fidelity to you."

"You saved me from the death penalty."

Near was smirking. "I bought you those shoes."

"I give you neck massages."

"The list goes on." Near turned serious. "Do you want to tell me what's the real problem is?"

Misa glared at him. Near surprised her when he grabbed her leg from under the table and slid his hand between her thighs. Misa's breath stopped as he her heart pounded in her ears. She looked at Near. "You don't own me."

"Not now..." Near run his fingers to toy with the thick panty hose. "...not yet," he slowly pressed his two fingers on the spot he knew would stimulate her and whispered, "but soon."

Misa closed her eyes and allowed him the tour. She helped him lower her panty hose just an inch down her knees as the people around them are busy dancing and laughing. She controlled her moans as Near's eyes were intently fixed on her expression.

He methodically explored her, wondering if she was soft and moist this whole time. He imagined Gladys, but Misa so was real to him that he didn't care about other women now. He let her go after a while and wiped his fingers on the tablecloth. Then he stood up to excuse themselves from the host so they could go to a room somewhere and, yes, he thought fondly, make love.

XXX

Until she spoiled it.

"I don't like synthetic rubbers on my penis."

"I don't think you want a baby, Near."

Near bit his lip down and stared at her for seconds. Then he removed himself from the sofa, taking the condom. He unwrapped it. "How do I do this?"

Misa helped him. Near asked. "Why use this cheap marketing fraud now?"

"It's not a cheap marketing fraud because it's highly effective."

"I might be allergic."

"Shut up if you want to get laid." Misa pulled him down as she lay on the sofa. "And the reason why I allowed unsafe sex twice is because I just finished my period then. Now I might be back on the cycle."

"The vagina is too complicated," Near sulkily remarked as Misa started kissing him. She ran her hands on his chest, feeling the tightness of his manhood inside her. She closed her eyes and moaned softly into his hair.

The door opened. Someone stepped in. Then a vase fell.

"Holy fuck—"

"Dammit, Drew! I bought them that vase!" Paul's loud and definitely drunk voice bellowed in the room.

Drew Leviste immediately turned back to the door but Paul was clumsily trying to make his way inside. He bumped on Drew and they fell. Misa tried not to make any noise as Ian made an entrance.

Don't turn on the lights, don't turn on the lights...

"Stand up, this is not the restroom." The commanding voice said. Both Misa and Near breathed calmly, not moving.

"I think I twisted something."

"Get off me, man!"

"Okay, everybody just calm down, I'm gonna turn on the lights—"

Near acted rationally, a final attempt to save them face. "This is closed quarters, gentlemen."

Drew bumped into something again. "Shit, is that—Near? Where are you?"

"In my wife's loving arms, performing a sexual act. Please leave and lock the door."

Silence. Ian spoke, "Come on, you two. Good night, Near...Misa."

Misa sighed and answered, "Yeah, night, fellas."

They shut the door and left.

They waited for a moment before the humor could sink in. Misa laughed. Near just smiled, and she could tell it even in the darkness. He has to find this unutterably humiliating and funny. Nobody is that completely dead-on unfeeling especially when it comes to silly situations like this. He was still laying on top of her. She wrapped both legs tightly on his torso.

"Should we proceed, Mr. River?"

"Waste of condom, so yes, Mrs. River."

XXX

What a jolly time. He got electrocuted again.

Ever since he has been having those frequent visits from the mysterious young man, he was having nightmares that didn't make the least bit of sense in broad daylight. But when he went to sleep, the dreams chased him and they became real.

He jogged around the perimeter, as an early task scheduled by the ward for this morning. The nutritionists gave him a heavier sedative last night, which caused a deep, deep sleep...and unexpected hair-raising nightmares. He woke up violently, and this triggered the belt and it sent electric shocks throughout his body. Well, he needed the pain. Better that than constant disconnection from feeling altogether. This simply meant that he was still human.

The ward watchers weren't pleased with this though. They must have marked his progress chart 'recovery delayed by fucked-up seizures' because they've been driving his ass harder than usual. He needed that to, a break from the monotony of activity.

He needed change. But as he began to internalize it, he realized that he needed better.

Escape. He needed to escape to life or whatever was near that goal.

So the following night, he made plans. He spent therapy sessions talking as usual with the old bastard but thinking of ways to maximize his chances. He observed the walls more. He observed his handlers more carefully. The slightest mistake on their part would make it easier to see that they, too, were flawed, and he will strike when he gets hostage of that flaw So he waited. He took down notes mentally. He acted normally by their standards. He waited for the opportunity.

Three weeks after the endless mind games and seclusion, he finally ran away.

XXX

Misa was learning to adore her husband each day. She felt that maybe she could have a good life after all. Near barely pulled away from her embraces. He didn't feign interest on the opposite wall anymore when she would look into his eyes.

He touched her more often. When he wanted to speak with her, he'd touch her arm lightly. When he wanted her to fix his tie, he'd take her hands and direct her to his neck. Misa thought with dread that he might just learn to love her.

She lay awake beside him one night, watching his features soften with slumber. She kissed his forehead and breathed in his scent one last time before she retired to sleep as well.

"You were right again, Near," she said. "You'll soon own me."

On the other side of an unknown world, a man she loved for so long escapes escaped his sentence and wandered in the city, tormented but free.

XXX

The shinigami Ryuk visited Near that morning before the dinner party, as his wife was taking a shower. He simply appeared in the window, staring at the boy.

Near noticed him. He smiled.

"So you kept it?"

The albino detective reached for something underneath his rubble of robot toys and puzzle. He raised it to Ryuk's view.

"A piece of paper." Near answered.

The sly shinigami laughed so hard that he was spinning in the air. He stopped and went closer, eyes piercing the boy. "So that's why we're having this conversation. You never burned it."

"Because it's not over." Near replied. He waved the small piece of paper. "And this is hers, not mine. She confessed that she possessed it when we interrogated her."

"So she remembers too, just because of that tiny piece she kept?"

Near looked at the bathroom, hearing the water pouring and his wife humming some happy song. "My guess is when she delivered the notebook to Mikami, she kept a piece to remember every detail. She was playing along with everybody. She still knew Light was Kira. She still knew everything all that time."

"Impressive." Ryuk laughed. "You two have never relinquished the past. You deserve each other."

Near leaned back on the bedpost and smiled. "Like I said, it's not over."

The shinigami shared his glowing gaze as Near's smirk widened. "All we need to do is wait for him to make a move."

The smirk didn't falter. "Then the real game begins..."