Chapter Six
"Got it figured out yet?"
Kurama glanced up, startled out of deep thought, to find Yusuke watching him--how long had he been awake? Kurama hadn't felt him stirring, but he seemed completely alert and was watching Kurama with solemn eyes.
"Do I have what figured out?" Kurama asked.
"Well, every time I see you--or at least, every time something happens between us--you come up with a new set of rules to explain what happened and what it means. And then I woke up and saw you sitting there all contemplative, so I figured you were laying out the new laws of the universe. You think too much."
All of this was said straightforwardly and without Yusuke's eyes leaving his, but a hint of a smile was on his face. Kurama returned it. "You know me too well already."
"Does that mean I get a good morning before the lecture?"
Kurama crawled over and kissed him, which he knew was what Yusuke really wanted him to do. Or at least, it was what Kurama wanted to do; seeing Yusuke lying there--arms crossed behind his head for a pillow, completely unselfconscious of his nakedness--made rational thought a little difficult.
No, not a little difficult; extremely problematic, Kurama corrected himself as the kiss deepened. Yusuke pulled him closer and Kurama went along with it, rather keen on keeping the source of last night's pleasure close at hand. Said source didn't seem to be showing any interest in escape, but you never knew. It couldn't possibly hurt to hook one leg over his, just to make sure...
But the problem was, Yusuke now knew what to do with someone who had one leg draped over him, and proceeded to prove that he knew it. Now Kurama did put up a small protest, aware that he was about to lose all hold on rationality whatsoever--Yusuke, predictably, only became more intent on drawing him close, rocking gently against him. There was no doubt where things were heading, and Kurama found himself engaging in a fast and furious mental battle--he had, as a matter of fact, been laying out the news laws of the universe. But that could always wait... but it could impact what was happening now... but Yusuke was so intent on picking up where they left off in exhaustion last night...
Last night. Last night was something Kurama couldn't even hope to put into rational thought. Something he could barely put into words, much less sentences. Yusuke was--beautiful. Fierce. Trusting. Untouched.
And his face--his expression, so completely lost to the world, eyes unfocussing when he fell over the edge into bliss--there were no words for it. It was something Kurama instantly felt possessive of; something he wanted to protect, something he felt fierce pleasure in having been the only one to ever cause, something he was irrationally resolved not to ever let another person see. It was his.
And so, because it was his, Kurama gave up the idea of thought and let Yusuke do what he wanted. The boy was a quick study--already his body was confident, even if his face wasn't sure yet, and his eagerness to prove all he'd learned meant the sun was high in the sky before they lay quiet again, sweat-soaked and panting. Yusuke was shaking slightly; Kurama was aware of this because Yusuke was pressed close against him, head nestled against his shoulder, and Kurama had wrapped both arms around him protectively. He rested his head against Yusuke's hair and thought, I am in so much trouble.
He lay there with that thought and Yusuke's trembling and nothing more for a long moment, accepting them both. Watching the sunlight dance through the room and feeling Yusuke slowly relax, feeling him begin to breathe slower again. "So," Yusuke finally said, speaking into Kurama's neck. "Figured out what it means yet?"
Kurama slowly shook his head. "I can't think with you here," he admitted.
A soft exhalation of laughter against his collarbone. "I'm pretty sure that was a compliment, so thanks."
A compliment, but a problem. And one that wasn't going to get worked out here. Kurama sighed, and stretched. "School."
Yusuke made a negative noise and strengthened his hold on Kurama, burrowing closer. "No way."
"You may be able to get away with that, but I can't. My mother pays attention to such things."
"Yeah, well, my mother will be passed out drunk until noon, so we've basically got the place to ourselves," Yusuke replied without missing a beat. "So stay awhile."
"But how will I ever think?" Kurama asked, halfway playful and halfway in earnest.
"You think too much. It'll be good for you."
Kurama only smiled, shook his head, and kissed Yusuke's cheek; Yusuke loosened his hold with a frown. "And I just bet you're not going to spring me from school again either, are you."
"I told you not to get used to it," Kurama reminded him, shrugging back into his clothes.
"You're not going to disappear for another six months this time, are you?"
"You're the one who disappeared for six months," Kurama pointed out.
Yusuke shrugged. "Whatever." He was sitting in the middle of the bed, watching Kurama get dressed without any effort to do the same, clearly displeased with the turn of events.
"Leave your window open," Kurama found himself saying.
Yusuke blinked. "Why?"
"So I can let myself back in tonight," Kurama said, as thought it was the most natural thing in the world.
Yusuke blinked again--he didn't smile, but the stormy expression eased. "See, that's more like it."
Kurama finished buckling his belt and leaned over the bed to kiss Yusuke. "Get dressed," he added as a parting shot before heading for the door.
Yusuke didn't try to stop him. There was no evidence of life elsewhere in the apartment, but Kurama still moved as quietly as he could to the front door, feeling like he was trespassing. He didn't start to walk normally until after he had reached the street.
He had absolutely no intentions of going to school. Contrary to what he had told Yusuke, Kurama's mother had no idea whether her son did or did not attend school--a good thing, too, or Kurama would have had a much harder time managing his double life. But she was a convenient excuse. He knew if he told Yusuke the truth--that he wanted to think--that Yusuke never would have accepted it. And he desperately needed to think.
So he headed for his favorite tree, on the far side of town lest he should be recognized as playing truant, and settled himself in the branches. Climbing trees wasn't natural to him; foxes generally weren't made for it, and preferred to dive under bushes. However, a human teenager crawling under a bush and curling up for a good think was generally remarked upon. The tree made a good compromise between instinct and convention.
Once settled, it still took several long moments before Kurama could think. Yusuke's scent was still on his skin, lingering in his clothes and hair and distracting him. I am in trouble. Deep trouble.
He hadn't meant to get into trouble. When Yusuke had been forced to stay at Genkai's to train Kurama had quickly concluded it was for the best; it would give them time to get past this. He had fully expected it to go away after a month or to. Yes, he'd indulged in a certain amount of fantasy--idly, wistfully, waiting for it to get out of his system, which it never seemed to. But even when they were firmly separated and it was safe to daydream, Kurama hadn't ever imagined it would happen again.
There was no question of it becoming serious. Kurama had every intention of living up to Shiori's expectations in every way he could, and Shiori's opinion was clear. Yusuke could never be anything than a secret.
Nor could Kurama ever be more than a secret to Yusuke. Yusuke was human, fourteen, and under enough stress as it was--the complications of openly acknowledging a male demon lover were not something Kurama was willing to watch him go through. He'd gotten involved in Yusuke's life out of a desire to help him, not make things worse. No--secrecy would be imperative, if there was going to be anything.
And Kurama wasn't such a fool as to deny, at this point, that there would be something.
He spent hours in the tree, barely moving, coming down only when he knew his mother would start to wonder where he was. He went home and ate dinner with her, lied about his day at school, and did his homework at the kitchen table so he could listen to her play the piano in the next room. He went to be early, then impatiently waited for her to do the same. He kept himself occupied by causing seeds to flower and then collapse back into themselves as seeds, idly manipulating them into little quarrels with each other. He was intensely relieved when Shiori finally fell asleep and he was able to put the seeds away and slip out the window.
Kurama's window was primed for escape, as he'd been encouraging a nearby tree to grow the appropriate branches since he was six or seven years old. Yusuke's window was similarly easy to navigate to, by means of a fire escape. It's almost like it was set up for us.
Yusuke was in bed with his eyes closed when Kurama quietly opened the window, but his eyes flicked open at the movement. "Oh, so you're finally here."
"I had to wait for my mother to fall asleep," Kurama explained, dropping to the ground."
"I almost fell asleep myself. Wasn't sure you were going to show."
"I said I would," Kurama replied mildly. Since Yusuke hadn't moved, he went ahead and joined him on the bed.
Yusuke wrapped a companionable arm around Kurama's shoulders, causing him to orient his body towards Yusuke slightly. "So was school exciting?"
Kurama debated for a moment before offering a compromised version of the truth. "Not at all. In fact, I spent most of the day thinking about you."
"See, if most people said that I would think you meant X-rated stuff. But knowing you, I'm guessing you've been very logical and rational."
Kurama couldn't help a faint smile. "I hope so."
"Then you've got the new laws of the universe laid out?"
"I do, actually."
"Let's hear them." The whole conversation until then had been tinged with an air of amusement, but tension seeped into the room at that, no matter how straightforward Yusuke tried to be.
Kurama propped himself up on one elbow so he could look at Yusuke, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "Well--if we're going to be logical and rational, several things are clear to me."
"You're making this sound like a math problem," Yusuke complained.
Kurama shrugged. "You asked."
"Yeah, I did. What's clear to you?"
Kurama took a deep breath. "Well, for one thing, that this--whatever it is--is something that we're not going to be able to resist if we're near each other. Also that we need to be close to each other, because of the team. And also that we've already gone over the reasons we can't be together ad naseum. Neither of us is free to be with the other and it would be a disaster if we were to fall in love. And yet, we can't escape each other... so, that leaves room for the space between nothing and a relationship."
Yusuke had been watching him with a relatively steady expression--Kurama could tell there were emotions stirring in his eyes, but couldn't identify them. "You mean like friends with benefits?" he asked now.
Kurama shook his head. "No. Nothing so crass. Just--something in between. I don't have the words for it. Something without demands. You're young, and you're human, and I'm from outside your world. The conventional rules don't apply to us. And it's nobody's business but ours."
Yusuke was nodding. "Yeah, I know it has to be a secret, I get that." He studied Kurama for a minute. "I'm not sure I understand everything you're saying, but I think I do."
"And?"
Yusuke nodded. "Yeah."
That was all he said, but it was enough. No one moved for a minute. It was an important barrier they had just crossed. The acknowledgement that whatever this was, it wasn't going to go away; the cautious willingness to let it grow; the commitment to keep it secret, whatever it became. They were silent for a moment, and then Kurama leaned down and kissed Yusuke, and there wasn't any need for words.
