A/N: hey everyone so sorry this took so long it's just that I can never get to a computer and I just started my first year of high school and am still adjusting, so please don't hate me. Well here's the seventh chapter to now or never.
I'm thinking of changing the name of the story so be aware if it suddenly has a new name. Thanks to all my readers who reviewed much appreciated.
LOVE YOU ALL!
Revelations
And I don't know
This could break
my heart or save me
Nothing's real
Until you let go
completely
So here I go
with all my thoughts I've been saving
So here I go
with all my fears weighing on me
A door slammed somewhere below me, "Bell, come on talk to me," Sophie's voice rang out behind me.
"Not now." I muttered.
"You promised, you promised you'd tell me what was going on."
"There is nothing going on I just needed to get away, that's all, end of story okay." I snapped at her while turning in the hallway. Her face which had been set in determination fell when I had yelled.
"I'm sorry Soph, its just trust me on this." I squeezed her shoulder and I got a small smile out of her.
I turned to leave, "What were you doing in Kwan's office?" she asked suddenly.
"How did you know about that?" I questioned her turning back.
"Some girls were talking about it at lunch, I was gonna ask you then but you never showed up."
"Well there's a story." I said laughing; I grabbed her arm and towed her to the sofa pushed up against my wall in the bedroom. I told her of the whole Frank and Peggy mishap and she exploded in giggles.
"Oh wow that is scandalous." I chuckled with her until the folder came back in my mind.
"There was something else too," she looked into my eyes all traces of laughter gone at the tone in my voice, "there was a folder on the desk all about me."
"Every school gets one of those Bell don't worry about it," the frown line in her forehead cleared when she said this.
"No, this was different I mean it had everything about me and I do mean everything." She looked up at me quizzically and then her face paled when she conveyed my meaning.
"Oh god," she whispered raising her hand over her mouth.
I shook my head attempting to clear it and looked back up a smile plastered on my face, "It's nothing to worry about really." I said trying to convince her as much as myself. "I'm gonna go hunting." I mumbled standing up.
"I'll come with you." She replied quickly.
"No." I said, "I'm sure I'll be fine, don't worry about it. I'll be back soon." She muttered a 'whatever' and gave a tiny wave and reached down and grabbed an US magazine from my floor, she was flipping through the pages as I left.
I grabbed my Ipod and laptop off the kitchen counter and traipsed down the porch steps. Instead of heading off in the direction of the woods I meandered toward the Jeep. I didn't need to hunt; unlike my friends I could go longer without feeding, the idea of blood still repulsed me. What I really needed was time to think.
I drove down the lane that would take me to the highway, there were few cars this far out but I saw three or four as I turned towards town. The clouds over head were gray and it looked like it was about to snow. The roads were covered in sleet and white was everywhere.
I rolled down the window and the breeze hit me blowing back my three inch hair, my shirt plastered it self to my chest and the cold chilled my already freezing bones. The Ipod was plugged in and a bass guitar played softly in the back round.
I looked out across the forest. In the distance, mountains rose up tall and ominous. Their snow capped peaks pointing towards the sky blending in with the clouds. I relaxed stiffly into the seat. I could hear the whistle of the wind through the pines that lined the road and the distant howling of a wolf baying at the moon.
The road came to an end with two different ways. I took a sharp left not knowing where I was going; only trusting myself. The trees became denser, less space between them, just needles upon needles of pines.
Up ahead there was a tree down in the middle of the road, I slowed to a stop and jumped out. The sound of my engine seemed too loud for a place like this, so I turned it off, the silence was deadening.
I could have easily moved the tree and continued on my way but instead I approached it. I could see the stump that lay a little off to the side it was completely ripped out of the ground with the roots still clinging desperately to the hard cold ground.
My hand brushed against the needles of the branches. Snow fell into my palm before sliding off, it felt powdery like sugar. Icicles swayed gently in a cold gust of wind and chimed together with a soft tinkling noise.
I remembered the wolf howling for the orb that was lost. In a way I could relate, after all these years I had been traveling through the world suppressing the feelings I thought I could ignore. Life, loss, love…all the things that had made me, me. Who was I? Edward's reappearance brought up so many questions that I had been pushing aside all this time.
It hurt to remember but it hurt just as much to forget. The wind whipped around me in a flurry and the clouds boiled overhead. I was like the tree uprooted without a say but determined to hold on at whatever the cost. Letting snow cover the person I had been but indifferently remaining the same beneath.
I couldn't sort through the feelings that were assaulting me, I wouldn't. I had made my choice all those years ago. When I had left Forks for good I had left my past behind, I looked toward the east where the sun would be rising in a couple hours. That was where my family was and a future waiting to be explored. Then I looked to the west where the school and my past lay. If I turned back now I would risk everything that I had ever worked for in the past seven years, but if I looked forward how many 'what ifs…' would remain unanswered.
I looked up at the sky to where the moon should have been if not buried beneath the clouds. It was lost just like me, I wanted to scream and cry. A single white snowflake fell lazily; it landed on my cheek and became my tears.
Edwards POV
I looked out across the darkness that weighed down on my world, in a way it was beautiful…the snow covered branches the mountains in the distance. Our porch light was on and the warm glow spread across a small path that led off into the woods.
The shingles of the roof felt hard beneath my fingers and my knuckles grazed them painfully if only to feel. I was sitting out on a ledge that connected with my window. I felt nothing.
Everything was a painful blur. The years that had gone by the struggles I had faced. There was a dark period somewhere in the third year after Bella's dea…accident. Nothing made sense and the numbness was unbearable.
In the beginning it was terrible, I'd thought of every way to kill my self but Jasper interpreting my feelings had caught me at the last moment every time. He was the only one who truly understood, though sometimes I knew he wished he didn't.
Only he and Alice knew of my attempted suicides, why frighten the rest with my increased depression. By now I knew how to avoid the pain. To not think was a blessing but I could still hear the voices that assaulted me daily.
Worried thoughts, painful accusations it all came back to the fact that Bella was dead and it was my fault. No matter what any one said.
Snow started to fall and I looked up at the sky, the stars were obscured by oppressing black clouds…just like my world.
I looked out across the giant sycamore trees that surrounded the house, today had been unusual to say the least, four new vampires who were exactly like us. Carlisle was puzzled and that had Esme worried, he could not fathom the possibility of another vegetarian coven. Even through his confusion you could see the pleasure at the idea of four new vampires taking on our lifestyle.
He depended on Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and me to gather information about the newest citizens to the town. The four were attending the high school and it was our job to make sure they were safe to be around humans.
This year I was posing as a senior along with Jasper Emmett and Rosalie. Alice was the only one left in the junior year. The other family from what I could make out from my siblings thoughts had two boys and one of the girls in the senior class, the fourth was with Alice.
I had the two boys in my Occupational English class and the girl in my Statistician II class. I also knew from Rosalie's disgusted thoughts of her first day in home Economics that the girl was in her class that period.
I had observed the girl and noticed that she was of average height with blonde hair and the startling beauty with topaz eyes that characterized us for what we were. Over all she didn't look at all threatening, but I knew better then anyone that looks could be deceiving.
I fooled my family everyday into thinking that everything was okay. Her thoughts were relatively harmless; she like any normal teen was worried about the school day and her fellow siblings. My first impression of her was a truly carrying and thoughtful person. On one occasion I thought she might have lost control when a student passed her desk, her eyes had gone flat black and I prepared my self to spring to stop her from attacking. But after a minute or two her eye color slowly turned back to the original ocher. I breathed a sigh of relief, at least we now knew they had a somewhat sense of control.
The two brothers were trickier to discern. The one with the vest and purple shirt seemed to be the joker of the group and took it upon himself to infuse laughter into any conversation. The other however was very reserved and seemed to be aware of everything around him. His crisp polo and plain jeans characterized him as the leader.
Emmett had been observing him for the majority of the day and according to him the guy seemed nice enough, a bit cold but nice. They were all eager to meet with the family, why I had no idea. That family was just making my existence that more complicated.
I didn't know much about the fourth girl. I remembered our impromptu meeting in the principal's office. She had looked so stunned and extremely vulnerable. I was surprised by her looks, compared to her siblings she was painfully plain. If I hadn't seen her spin around at the sound of my entrance I would have thought her human. No mortal ears could have heard me enter the room but she certainly did.
I had been caught up in her eyes for a moment before asking her what she was doing in there. They were such an odd color; it was as if she had tried to mix brown with red. The end result was a nasty shade of magenta and grey. Her reaction had been an exact replica of 'deer-in-the-headlights'. I felt sorry for her not only did she lack in the beauty department but she seemed to be a bit slow too.
After a minute she shook her head as if to clear it and replied quickly enough. I felt bad for judging her about being slow. I realized a moment to late that I must have startled her. In that odd moment I thought of Bella. Just the way this girl was acting reminded me so much of her.
I remembered hearing footsteps in the outer office and the voice of Mrs. Barnes, "No mummy can't come home early tonight…" a candlelight dinner with Frank oh, and he might even have that new mattress he was telling me about…champagne chocolate truffles his big strong arms around me…
I quickly silenced her voice in my head. Rosalie and Emmett thought the affair between the secretary and the janitor was hilarious, but they didn't have to listen to their sex life every time they passed the office.
Her face had paled even more so when she had heard the woman's voice, "Can you help me get out of here?" she had asked quietly. Her voice shot sparks up and down my spine and I looked between her and the door.
After a few seconds hesitation I pointed to the window behind the desk, "It leads out into the teacher's parking lot." I had said emotionlessly. She winced slightly at my tone and turned toward the window jumping lithely out, but landing with a thud on the hard compacted snow.
I rushed to the window after her and looked out; she was across the parking lot and was disappearing into the shadow of the trees at the edge. She must have felt my eyes on her back because she turned around and stared into my eyes.
I was entranced in her gaze; it made me feel like she could see all of me yet nothing. After a few seconds she turned and vanished beneath the branches.
A cold breeze hit me full in the face and I had turned back into the heated office, closing the window as I did. I glanced around the room and looked down at the desk. Folders were scattered all along the surface and the one on tops named caught my eye, 'Marie Bell.' I flipped it open, the first page in the folder was a picture of the girl I had just let escape.
I was about to leaf through the other pages when the sound of a doorknob turning caught my attention. I quickly replaced the folder and sat down in the opposite seat facing the desk.
Mr. Kwan walked in and saw me sitting there, "Mr. Cullen right?" he asked.
"Yes sir. I was told you wanted to see me." I replied taking in his tailored suit and polished suit.
"I did," he had said while clasping his hands and smiling at me. I didn't like his smile it was to practiced but I was to weary to read his mind, "As you are probably well aware we have four new students today and I was curious as to if you would be willing to become a mentor to one of the kids?"
"Mentor sir?" I asked quizzically. I knew exactly what he wanted and I hated it that he had chosen me.
"Yes, you know…you help them out with directions offer a helping hand every now and then, maybe even sitting with them at lunch…" he trailed off, "I know that we usually ask students that have been her longer but I realized you had the perfect grades and that you adjusted well to the new system. I was hoping you would take them under your wing."
There was no way for me to worm out of this and he knew it. With a tight smile I had obediently replied, "Yes sir, I would be glad to."
After my meeting with the principal I had made my way to the cafeteria where my family was assembled. At a table three down from ours sat the others. My eyes raked over theirs and took in the fact that there were only three of them.
The thoughts of my fellow students already informed me that most of the student body knew of the fourth girl's visit to the main office. I sat down with my brothers and sisters and the rest of day had continued in a relatively normal pattern.
I was still remembering that girl's eyes on me from across the parking lot and wanted to know more. Who was she? Where had she come form? I hadn't asked such things in a long time and the fact that I wanted to know these things terrified me.
I looked back up at the black obscured sky. Snow was falling steadily now and I realized that no matter how long the storm lasted the clouds would somehow clear.
Sorry everyone for the suckie ending I didn't know how to finish it, I promise more…please review because what you all say really effects how fast I write my stories. And people don't be afraid to get harsh, half the reason I do fanfic is to improve my writing so help me improve.
shayshay
