Who I Am
The following week leading up to the ball was hectic. Between making it to my dance lessons on time, getting a dress fitted and dodging Ayanokoji's flunkies I was exhausted during lunch on Friday but I had to practice.
Now when I said I couldn't dance that wasn't true. I can dance in clubs and parties but with the way this school is I guessed that wouldn't have been welcomed. So when I got home last week I had asked Kiko if anyone could teach me how to dance at a ball. That had been a bad idea. Kiko was willing to teach me but she was scary strict about it.
I shivered as I took my PB&J sandwich from my bag. She had me practicing every day after school for nearly four hours each day and told me to practice as much as I could in school. The woman scared me to no end about this so I did as she said.
With my sandwich hung in my mouth as I put my hands up to my pretend partner. I began counting in my head as I started taking steps. Matching speed to numbers I started to waltz under the cherry tree whose leaves were beginning to change. My imaginary partner didn't mind a miss step or a stumble now and again. I smiled as I knew I was getting the rhythm right and I allowed my mind to wander.
My partner became real and it was the tall boy. He led me across the grass that faded away into the wooden floors of a ballroom. Looking up he was dressed in a simple dark color tux with a very small smile on his face. I grinned feeling my face heat as we danced across the floor. It was like we were floating. No one was there to bother us and I suddenly felt as if I was safe, that this might be…
I was knocked out of my fantasy when I smacked directly into the trunk of the cherry tree. Stumbling back I fell flat on my back. Scrubbing my face hoping to remove the blush that had settled I looked up at the changing leaves and sighed. I know better than to daze out like that but it had been nice. It kinda reminded me times when I didn't have to watch every one wondering if they were against me, of days spent pissing off Mr. Green at the grocery store or just lounging on the roof tops with my friends. Suddenly home didn't seem that far away. That this place could be…
Sitting up I ruffed a hand though my hair stopping that train of thought. This isn't right. I can't be getting comfortable here. Izo took me from my home; I abandoned my friends when they needed me the most; my grandparents could have used the help at the shop or restaurant, yet here I was playing dress up and going to a ball. The idea was ridiculous.
"What the hell is wrong with me?" I growled low pulling my knees to my chest. I can't be getting to like this place. "I just can't." I mumbled laying my head on my knees. I sat there moping until the end of lunch. I forgot about my sandwich and the rest of lunch as I raced back inside.
My mood was darkened for the rest of the day but I don't think Suoh actually notice but Ootori kept writing in that damn notebook. I had a headache from skipping breakfast and lunch as we worked on our project and his pencil kept scratching across the paper. It was rattling my nerves making me feel worse.
I ducked my head in to my book. I shouldn't be here I should be home fighting with Brit over her lame ass cousin being on our team. Or with Jake leaping off into the wild blue carelessly and hoping it was a strong enough jump. Or anywhere else that wasn't Ouran Academy with Kyoya Ootori scratching notes on a paper or Tamaki Suoh acting like an idiot.
"Ryoko?" Suoh said gently prodding my shoulder with his own pencil.
"Yes?" I ground out not looking up but I could feel Ootori's eyes on me now. He was studying me again, trying to make me crack. This wasn't right. That phrase kept running through my mind and I could feel my headache turning worse.
"Here." Glancing up Suoh held out a pack of peanut butter crackers. I looked up at him silently asking; what the hell? He seemed to have gotten the message. "Kyoya said you don't seem to be eating your lunch a lot so I brought them for you."
My gaze turned to Ootori who was pretending to be methodically going over his note on the project we were working on. I couldn't decide whether he was just observing or if he was being a stalker. Taking the crackers I inspected the packaging for cuts, pin holes, anything that could mean it was laced. It wasn't that I didn't trust Suoh it was just Ayanokoji's tactics had made me paranoid. Opening the crackers after I deemed them safe I couldn't help but pop a whole one in my mouth.
It wasn't the best ones I ever had but they were still good. I couldn't help the happy little sound that escaped as I munched on them. By the time I finished the crackers my headache hadn't receded any but something in the stomach had made the pain bearable. Maybe I shouldn't be so judgmental about this place or at least not Suoh and Ootori. We finished out class finalizing our topic and outline for the paper.
Suoh and Ootori were already half way out the door when I had finally got the last of my books in my bag. I dashed after them. Coming up behind them I caught one sleeve of each jacket and pulled slightly. It was strange how they turned at the exact same time both looking at me; Suoh questioning and Ootori cool as ever. Pulling my hands back I stood like I had been taught before coming to school here, feet together and hands clasped together in front.
I bowed at my waist my red hair falling over my one shoulder. "Thank you." I said before standing up and smiled slightly. It was strange to share a real smile with them but the look on their faces were great. Suoh clearly shocked with his eyes as wide as his mouth. Ootori was surprised but more a pleasant surprise and that half sly grin of his was plastered on his face.
"Bye Tamaki. Bye Kyoya." I said adjusting my pack on my shoulders and turned heading away from them towards the gym. "See you guys on Monday!" I said waving back ignoring the looks I received from Ayanokoji and her group.
I was too happy to care. It had been a pack of crackers that had cracked me. They had been like a peace offering. They two of them wanted nothing but my health when they gave them to me. It had been clear in Suoh's voice and Ootori's lack thereof when he didn't scold me about the noises I made. Oh I know I will get it on Monday for not eating or making nummy noises while eating but currently I didn't care.
The gymnasium was empty as always when I crossed to the woman's locker room. I knew this place had sports teams I had heard students talking about matches and games but I had never seen anyone in the gym. Passing though the swinging doors to the locker room I stopped as I always did and just stared.
The place was like a spa. A steam room, private showers, marble seating that was cushioned, expensive looking lockers. Don't know how they made lockers look like they were worth more than a grand a piece but they did. Not to mention the six women that flirted around near massage tables and pedicure stations those were completely separate from the manicure station. It was a lot grander than I had expected the first time.
Sure I didn't expect half broken lockers with mix-matched paint or busted wooden benches held up by twisted flaking metal but really who needs twenty private showers that have never been used. I glanced around again a scoffed at the sight before heading towards the changing rooms. Did I mention twenty private changing rooms as well?
One of the women I didn't recognize looked up and met me half way from my goal. She was young and pretty with light blond hair that cascaded perfectly around her dainty shoulders. Her skin was flawless and she beamed a smile that would put the sun to shame. I felt sick.
"Can I help you with anything, miss?" Perfect, her voice was sweet and melodious; rounding out the angel. Yep I wasn't going to last if she kept this up.
"Um no thanks I just need to change then I'll be gone." I said pointing to the changing rooms then proceeded to step around her.
She looked startled and my decline for a moment then washed it away with a smile stepping into my path. "Do you need any assistance?"
"I think I can change my own clothes, thank you." I said side stepping the woman only for her to step in my path again.
"Oh I can hold your bag for you."
"No…No I'm good." This kept up for almost five minutes. Every time I would say no and side step she would step back in front of me with another helpful question or offer. I pinched the bridge of my nose with one arm tucked under the other. I sighed before opening my eyes looking at her. I flicked my one hand out away from my nose holding out my hand in a questioning poster. "Can you please get me a bottle of water?"
She lit up like a Christmas light and nodded before hurrying off in a proper fashion to retrieve said item. I on the other hand sprinted towards the changing rooms and just barely stopped in time. Laying my hand on the door knob I stopped at the sound of an angel like voice.
"Here you are, miss."
I turned and blinked at the woman. She was still prim and proper nothing out of place. The young woman wasn't even breathing heavy. There was no way she could coos that room so fast. Yet there she stood holding a bottle of water and looking perfect. "How the hell did you do that?" I asked before I could stop it.
Her smile brightened as she held out the water bottle. I tentatively took it from her and tipped my head. "What's your name?"
"Angela!" She chirped proudly.
"Of course it is." I groused and entered the dressing room.
"Anything else you need, miss?" She questioned before I shut the door.
I paused and looked back at her for a moment. "You're very helpful, aren't you?"
"That's my job!"
"If you were any more helpful I wouldn't have a bra on." I grumbled under my breath.
She tipped her head inquisitively her blond hair swaying with the movement. "I'm sorry I missed that."
"Nothing. I'm fine thank you." I said finally closing the door. Shrugging off my bag I laid the bottle down before I began to strip out of the buttercup colored dress. Popping off the regulation shoes and socks I stood there for a moment looking at my reflection with only my sports bar and boy shorts on.
Dark eyes ran the course of my own body. I was lightly tanned and pretty lean from all the running and jumping I did but that color on my skin only allowed the scars to show more. My body was covered in tiny white niches each and every one a story. Some short like the one near my belly button from falling down the steps and some would take an hour to spin the tale.
I examined the bruise on my shoulder. It was the size of a softball and an off color blue/black/gray mix. It hadn't gotten better in the past five years but I had strangely hoped it would disappear for one night. I wished they all would and then I could freely wear a nice dress to the dance/ball thing and not have to cover completely up. I wouldn't have to hide Ryoko Ann McClain behind Ryoko Nakamoto because she would not even exist but they wouldn't and I had to.
Izo had me change my name when he brought me here. He wanted to end all ties I had to my mom and my past. Yet Ryoko was still my name and maybe he could pretend all the time that I was just his daughter, a Nakamoto but I knew I was a McClain too. I sighed. This was too deep thinking for a dressing room.
I pulled on my shorts and shirt before stuffing my shoes into my pack followed by my folded dress. Securing to properly I slid on black socks and running shoes before exiting the changing room. I was about to jog off when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Looking back I saw Angela smiling at my holding out the water bottle. I had forgotten about her for a moment.
"Um thanks." I said a little nervous because she was close enough to see the scars and the bruise poking out from under my sleeveless shirt. Angela didn't say anything only smiled and nodded when I took the bottle. I turned and tried to walk gracefully out. That lasted until I stumbled over a marble bench. I had to look like a fool as I shot out of there.
It was an hour later when I pushed open the front door to my house and was faced with the dragon. Kiko was mad. That was clear because she didn't say anything when she grabbed me by the scruff and hauled my up to my bed room. For a nearly sixty year old woman she scared me. She let me sit on the bed and then glanced towards the bathroom.
"I'll be back in twenty minutes." She said her voice low and slightly gravely. "Be ready." She added slipping silently out of the room.
I stood stripping out of my clothes as I went to the bathroom. This was going to be a shot and run. Nineteen minutes later I was out of the show and a towel wrapped around my chest and hair. Kiko was already in my room and holding out more lady-like underclothes than mine. They were deep blue and lacey. I looked at her confused. Did she think I was going to show them off to someone tonight?
"Now." Simple commands as always and I took them slipping back in to the bathroom. Closing the door I held them up looking this way and that. I considered on trying to just wear my sports bra but there came a sharp; "NO" from the other side of the door. That reminded me Kiko could read minds. I pulled them on and walked out to look at her holding a dress.
It was deep blue like the undergarments with short sleeves and looked like it would end just above my knees. I sighed and pulled on the second dress of the day. Kiko zipped up the back and I looked at myself in the mirror. It wasn't a bad dress and it fit like the one from school but I was suddenly nervous again about my scars. That was when I noticed Kiko standing behind me with a sympatric smile while holding up tan stockings and long white gloves. I smiled the woman thought of everything.
The next hour was a flurry of make-up, hairspray and things I had no clue what they were before I was deposited into the back of Izo's limo by I don't even know who. I chanced a glance in to the mirror in the back to see my hair was hanging loosely around my shoulders in soft ringlets. My make-up was light and natural but what surprised me was my scars were gone. I brought my hand up to touch my own face but pulled it away, worried I might mess it up.
I had wanted to go for Haruhi. So she wasn't so alone there. I also had wanted to go to see the Host club. The idea of them peaked my curiosity. Yet now staring at my reflection I kinda wanted to go to show I could be like them. I wasn't the strange one, the one that stuck out because of her scars. The scars were part of who I was. No they were part of who Ryoko Ann McClain was not Ryoko Nakamoto.
I've been in Japan for nearly four months now in school for just under one and I've been Ryoko Ann McClain wearing a mask pretending to be Ryoko Nakamoto. I would rip the mask off the moment I was alone. I hated it. I didn't want to wear it but I didn't have a choice. I couldn't be a McClain in public. I couldn't be wild and unruly; laughing and rough housing with my friends. That was me alone, not in public. I was alone in the back of the limo and I sat up straighter and let a little smile slip onto my painted face. I'll always be a McClain but just for once…just for tonight…I'll be only Ryoko Nakamoto.
Just for tonight.
A/N: Well there ya go the next chapter you've been waiting on. I hope you enjoyed it. In truth there was more but I got to long for my taste so the next chapter is the ball and well the rating may go up depending on what happens during the next chapter. So Please Please Review. Thanks to everyone that has so far and I will do Reviewer shout outs next time. Good Reading!
