We all stared in astonishment, it was silent for a while but then darry finally spoke up
"soda, what happened" he said in barely a whisper
he stared at darry then walked into the bedroom, darry looked at me and I looked at him, I could tell we were thinking the same thing, he had gotten jumped
we followed after him and saw soda sitting on the bed with his head down, darry sat beside him and put his arm on soda's shoulder, "what happened little buddy?" he asked
soda just shook his head
"did somebody jump ya?" he asked
soda stayed silent then I heard a small noise "i did this" he whispered
I felt confused how could soda do something like that to himself
"what?" darry said, "what do you mean you did it?"
he looked at darry "i tried to kill myself"
darry's ears turned red and his voice began to get shaky "why in the damn world would you try to kill yourself" he said
"sandy and I got into a fight and it just got me worked up" he said as tears fell to the floor
"why did you even call sandy, you know it would only cause trouble" darry said as he held back his fear
"she called me" he got silent then continued "she called me yesterday and, I just got so full of what happened that I lost control, I didn't know what to do, so I tried to commit suicide on myself" he said
"you had no reason to, you could of found another way to take out your anger you didn't have to..."
"i wasn't mad" soda interrupted, "i was sad, it was like my whole past had just flashed in front of me, all the bad and evil that had caused my life to fall apart came back to haunt me"
"why don't you get some rest, we'll talk this over in the morning" he said and got up, I saw darry motion for me to follow
we went into the living room and darry started to talk to me "were gonna try to seek professional help for soda, I know it's expensive but it's the only thing we can do right now, I'd rather waste money than to have us lose our brother"
"do you think they'll be able to snap him out of it" I asked
"only time can tell pony, only time can tell" he said then got up, before he left the room he turned around to face me "i want you to sleep in the living room tonight and let soda wind down a little, he needs some time to himself"
"ok" I said then let him continue
"I'll get you some blankets and a pillow, you can sleep on the couch, just until we can get this settled out"
I got out a book and started to read while darry got the stuff, I couldn't focus on the words since my mind was running wild with what could happen to soda if the professional help didn't work
darry finally came back a few minutes later and handed me the blankets, he put the pillow on the table and went back into his room, I fixed up the sofa, and laid down wondering if my stupid mistake could literally kill soda, not only his body, but his heart
I woke up the next morning to darry in the kitchen, I could smell the eggs and sausage like they were right under my nose, I got up and was relieved to find that soda was still asleep and safe
"sleep well last night" darry asked
"yeah, kinda uncomfortable but everything went fine" I said as I sat down
darry handed me a plate and sat down next to me "soda ain't gonna go to work today, I called mike and told him what happened, I got an appointment with a specialist, and their gonna come to the house while your at school"
I took a bite of my eggs and they tasted plain, my head was still pounding from the thought of soda's suicidal attempt
"I'll be driving you to school this morning, I got your lunch packed and all" darry said as he gathered up the dishes to wash them
darry dropped me off at school and got to work, as I walked to first period I wondered what soda was gonna do while we were gone
(soda's POV at the house)
I heard a knock on the door and got up to answer it, I saw a tall thin lady with brown hair and a brief case "who are you?" I asked
"I'm Mrs. Jackson, I'm here to help you with your emotional problems"
"oh" I said, I remembered the note darry left me about that person coming over to help me today
"should we get started" she asked as she straightened out her fancy rich clothes
"i guess" I led her into the living room and I could tell she wasn't impressed with the way the house was a mess
"if somebody has a problem the first thing they need to do is tell people about it and your problem is you and your girlfriend..."
"ex girlfriend" I corrected
"you and your ex, got into a fight and you need some help getting over it"
I nodded and she went on
"what have you been thinking since this event" she asked
I looked down and didn't reply
"if you don't tell me what your response to this event is then how will I help you, you need to tell me" she said
I felt stressed out and suddenly a burst of anger rushed through me "just get out of our house, I don't need your damn help, I can fix things on my own!" I screamed
she gave me a surprised expression and silently left the house, when she was gone I raced into the bedroom and started crying, I did need help coping with this, but that lady was only making it worse, I could fix things on my own and I don't need anybody getting into this situation, there's only one thing I can do to fix this
I went into the kitchen and opened the droor with the knives only to find they were gone, I looked all over the house and all of the knives, broken glass, and stuff were gone, I went into the bathroom and pulled out a bottle of isotropic alcohol and started chugging it
