Chapter 7
I practically threw myself at Ron when he arrived, my conscience nagged that I was trying to compensate but I felt too out of sorts to even bother to acknowledge the truth of it, I just wanted something familiar and safe for a little while. Luckily Ron didn't seem to notice my overly clingy behaviour too much, or at all really, so wrapped as he was in expostulating on the 'business trip of a lifetime', Rose ran in and jumped on his lap at that point, Ron glanced at me briefly expressing his surprise and amusement, it had almost seemed like she had been starting to grow out of that sort of thing. It made me want to scoop her up and hug her, as erratic and mischievous as she could be, she seemed to bring some normalcy to my life, a sense of being sure of myself at least where she was concerned and looking after her often got me through some of the tougher days when I feared my marriage really was falling apart in front of my eyes.
Once Rose was put to bed Ron asked me to make him some dinner before he headed back, I rooted around in the cupboards a bit and cobbled together one of his favourite meals, it was as much for me as for him, doing it eased the feeling of guilt to the back of my mind and brought back nostalgic memories of being newly-weds. He chatted a bit more as I pottered about, trying to explain to me the relative merits of the players who he was working with but Quidditch had always been one of the few things I just didn't understand, or rather the appeal of it wasn't something I understood. I just listened to Ron's voice instead and wondered how things had started to get so messed up, was there a particular moment when we had just let things slip away, when my love for Ron had started to fade, lost in a multitude of demands and expectations.
Once I was finished we sat opposite each other in companionable silence, for my part I continued to contemplate the state of my marriage, trying to fulfil my promise to myself and find a way to make things work, make things better, Ron was simply enjoying his food and it didn't take him long to polish it off and push his plate to the side.
"I've been thinking..." he started and a spark of hope flared in me that he had realised things weren't working as well as they might, that he might want to try and fix things like I did, that he wasn't as oblivious as he usually was. "Rose seems to be really enjoying her time with Scorpius doesn't she? Plus we both know how much she loves seeing her cousins," maybe not then, but then what was this about? "I think she would be just as happy to have a little brother or sister don't you? I mean we've always known we would have more kids, whats the point in having just the one after all when you can have a whole little brood of the little guys? I figured we would keep using the contraceptive charms for a little while so that we could get used to looking after Rose and I know you wanted a bit of time with your work but now seems as good a time as any to try again right? What do you think?" he looked up at me with an expectant and complacent grin, he simply couldn't imagine that I would say no.
Oh Merlin, what the hell do I say?
My smile was frozen on my face, my thoughts twisted and turned and raced after one another as I tried to figure out how to get past this, how to explain to him that I didn't want anymore kids. The silence stretched and a small worried frown appeared on Ron's face,
"What is it?"
"I..I.." I struggled with the words, it felt like everything was falling apart around me, if I had another child then it would be another and another until I was so worn out, surrounded by this 'brood' that Ron so wanted, that I lost all sense of self. I would have to give up all that I had worked so hard for, there would be no time for my books, for my research and the very image of it terrified me but if I said no it would hurt Ron, it could end up being the final straw in our marriage and I promised myself I would try. I smiled at him reassuringly,
"Sorry, it was just a little sudden is all, we can certainly think about it if you want" I watched with a strange mixture of resignation and apprehension as Ron smiled warmly with relief, the worried frown completely gone.
"Good, I'm glad, maybe we'll talk about it when I get back, yeah?"
"Sure"
"Brilliant, I should probably be heading back then hon, I'll see you soon okay?" he stood up and kissed me lightly before apparating out with a sharp crack, I stayed frozen for a moment then slowly I sank down to lay my head on the table, using my arms as a pillow, a shaky sigh falling from my lips. To have this thrown in on top of everything else, I felt like my head was about to explode and all I wanted to do was just lie down and rest, let go and give up, but shutting my eyes wasn't about to make any of it go away. The war in itself had taught me enough to know that wallowing never did anything, bad things couldn't just be willed away they had to be faced head on .
I am Hermione Granger dammit, the cleverest witch of the age.
Right, in one swift movement I was on my feet with a set expression and feeling better than I had in days, a few emotional problems were not going to cripple me, I would act as I had always done and think about the problem rationally. Out of subconscious habit I started pacing up and down the kitchen, a frown of concentration wrinkling my forehead, if I simply sat Ron down and explained to him that I didn't want anymore kids then he can hardly force me to. No doubt it will cause tension and arguments and all sorts of unpleasantness I would rather avoid but equally its something that needs to be done. If we manage to work through it then we will be stronger for it surely?
Somewhere along the line I seem to have completely lost control of my life I thought wryly, I could possibly date it from the time that Draco appeared in my life but I could hardly attribute all of the problems in my marriage to him, no, rather Ron and I are to blame for becoming complacent and not talking to each other properly about things. I should have said something when I started to feel suffocated instead of letting it slide and just hoping it would work itself out but now I've let it get to the stage where I'm beginning to resent Ron for trying to turn me into his own image of a wife and mother, and falling for another man.
A guttural rumble startled me from my musings, a thunder storm was just making its appearance making me smile slightly, how fitting, the rain started to pour down and I found myself oddly comforted by the familiar sound, I had always had a fondness for the more turbulent forces of nature, they had a magic of their own. I went to check in on Rose, she had never expressed a fear of thunder storms before but a mothers instincts prompted me to check that she was alright, I pushed the bedroom door open a little so that just a little sliver of light illuminated her bed. She looked utterly peaceful, still sleeping as though the house could fall down around her ears and still she would carry on sleeping, her little shoulders rising rhythmically up and down with the pace of her slow breathing.
I smiled and closed the door soundlessly deciding to go and read some of my research books in my study, halfway down the hallway my thoughts were interrupted by someone knocking on the door, I turned round and went to open it feeling a little puzzled as I wasn't exactly expecting anyone. The door opened on a soaking wet Draco, peering up at me through his dripping hair, his jaw tight and his shoulders hunched.
"Draco? What..?"
"Scorpius, he..they..they took him. You have to help me" he reached forward and grabbed my hand, his eyes frantic and in an instant I felt the terror that gripped him, his son, his child, taken.
"Who Draco? Who took him?" I said swallowing down nausea
"The vigilantes, its fucking my fault, its me they want, what the hell did Scorpius ever fucking do to them? I'll rip their guts out for this and I don't care if I end up in Azkaban for it"
"We just need to think for a moment, do you have any leads? How do you know it was them?" my brain was spinning now, this was what I did best, I'd heard about the vigilantes of course, everyone had since they were in the Daily Prophet nearly every week, punishing ex-Death Eaters and everyone who had been supporting them in the war. They were sick, completely destroying their targets from the inside out so that almost all were going to be in St Mungos for the rest of their lives, many in the mental health ward. Fear clawed at me at the thought of Scorpius being in their hands.
"They sent a note" he handed it to me, his fingers shaking slightly from agitation.
~
We saved you till last Malfoy
Your sins have not been forgotten, we are here to make sure that you get what you deserve
But perhaps you want to redeem yourself
Would you die for your son Malfoy?
Or will you leave him to die for you?
We are at one of the old hideouts that you and your fellow scum used during the war
Time is ticking and Scorpius is so very vulnerable
~
Gripping the thin piece of paper tightly I looked up and met Draco's silvery eyes, resolve and understanding flashing between us.
Woot, I get to do some action plot :) was really not sure about that last line but overall I think I managed to get down what I needed to in this chapter and the next one should be fun, let me know what you think anyway ~XX~
