Warning: This chapter gets a bit dark and twisted. Please don't read if it's going to upset you.


Six months and two days into term

Theo was shaking against his side as they lay together that night. He shouldn't have been. Blaise did some quick calculations. Theo shouldn't have been craving until tomorrow night at the earliest. That worried him. He rolled over quickly.

'Theo...'

'Yeah?' the other boy asked through gritted teeth, not moving or looking at him.

'Why're you like this now? Did you skip out on a rat or something?' he asked, getting more concerned with each passing moment.

'No.' Theo's reply was short, clipped, like it was being forced out through gritted teeth, which, in all honesty, it probably was.

'Then what's going on?' Theo remained silent. Blaise's worry only increased.

'Theo. Tell me. The only way we're going to get through this is if we're honest with each other.'

'Really?' Theo snapped, his head jerking up so his eyes met Blaise's, 'And when were you planning on being honest with me about what happened in Dark Arts?' Blaise blinked, completely nonplussed, not really sure what Theo was referring to.

'What are you on about?'

'You. When Carrow hit you with the Cruciatus, something weird happened. All of us felt it. It was like... you were drawing it in or something. The atmosphere suddenly became way less Dark. It was like I could breathe again. And then the minute it stopped it was like you became bloody radioactive or something. You have no idea how much you stink of Dark magic right now, do you?'

'So do you! So do we all!'

'Not like this. It's different. Right now you're worse than both the Carrows put together, worse than you were at Christmas even. Being this close to you is making my skin crawl. I want to know what the hell is going on Blaise.'

Blaise lay for a moment, totally confused.

'Alright. Alright. Well, you know I was craving before class. I couldn't find anything, so when I turned up I was struggling. And then he hit me with the Cruciatus and it was like... the bit of me that wanted Dark magic accepted that instead.'

'I don't get it.' Theo muttered from beside him.

'Me neither. I've never heard of anything like it before, but then, I've never heard of anyone unwillingly developing a Dark Arts addiction either. Maybe it's because I don't want to hurt anyone, or maybe because it couldn't get enough for the magic I do myself, it started feeding on the magic that is cast on me. I don't know Theo. You know me better than anyone else. You've seen what this does to me. If I knew a way to get out of having to use those spells, don't you think I would have used it before now?'

The crack in his voice was enough to bring shaking arms around him, although Theo resolutely kept his head as far from Blaise as possible.

'I know you would have. I know.' Theo's voice was beginning to shake.

'Go find a rat, Theo. You're not going to last until morning.' He said, gently removing the arms, knowing that hugging him was bringing untold agony.

'I know but...'he trailed off.

'But what? Don't suffer more than you need to from this. You wouldn't need this if you weren't this close to me. Go.'

'I hate this. I hate the skulking and the hiding and I hate the dead rats. I hate blood and I hate the gore and I hate the spells and the smell. God the smell. And I hate the part of me that loves it. I hate that we can't be together properly anymore because we're too afraid of what losing control might mean. You know I drank rat blood the other day? It was dripping down my chin and it felt so damn good and I caught myself wishing you were there because fuck I was so turned on by it and it scares me and it disgusts me when I look at what I am and I can't do it anymore. I don't care if they kill me. I refuse.' Theo was shaking harder now and there were tears in his eyes. Blaise pulled him upright so they were facing one another, his hand holding tightly to Theo's.

'Whatever you are, I am too. Remember when you told me that?' Theo was shaking his head, refusing to listen.

'Look, we can't get rid of this until we're out of here. We've only got 5 more months and then we can leave the country and detox, together, like we promised, but until then it would be madness to try and resist. They'll kill you and I couldn't handle that. Please Theo. Just give in. It's only for the next few months. I promise I won't think any less of you. Nothing you could do would make me think less of you. Neither will anyone else in Slytherin. We're all doing the same as you.'

'But I like it.' Theo whispered. Blaise's heart broke at the self-loathing and disgust he heard in those four short words. He leant forwards and cupped Theo's chin, forcing him to make eye contact.

'So do I.' He answered, bringing their lips together hard enough to open the gash in his lip from his earlier bout of Cruciatus. Blood seeped out and into his mouth and Theo's. He felt the shiver run down Theo's back a moment before he pulled away.

'See. A little bit of blood and I can barely control myself. I can't keep doing this. I won't keep hurting people. I'm going back to my own bed, where I won't hurt you. Because right now I can barely stop myself from grabbing my wand and bloody cursing you' He made to get up but Blaise grabbed his wrist, preventing him from leaving.

'No. You can't do this here. There's no way you'll manage it without them noticing and stopping you and it'll just make it harder to give up when we're out of here.' Theo tried to wrench his wrist free but Blaise pulled harder, forcing Theo back down into the bed.

'I won't hurt anyone. I can't do it anymore. I won't use those spells. I won't do it. I can't.' Theo was close to hysterical now. Blaise switched to hold him down by the shoulders, taking a deep breath, memories from earlier swirling around him and a plan occurring. A horrific plan, a plan he would never have considered a few months ago, an admission he would never have made had the situation not been so desperate but desperation was desperation.

'I'm only asking for one spell. No rats. No victims. One simple word. I promise.'

'I can't. I won't. No. I can't.'

'It's easy. You promised once to never use the Cruciatus on me, I'm gonna ask you to break that promise tonight.' He reached for Theo's wand, mentally preparing himself for the pain that was to follow.

'No, Blaise, I can't. I won't hurt you like that. It's horrific, inhuman, torture...'

'Theo...'

'I could never do something like that to you. We're...you're... you mean too much to me. I won't demean what we have. I can't let myself hurt you. I won't. I refuse.'

'Theo, I like it.'

Shocked silence.

'Since when?'

'Carrow this afternoon. When he stopped, it was relief, obviously, but there was a part of me, the same part that loves it when you kiss me til I bleed, the same part that tortures rats and murders owls and smears their blood all over the room, the part of me that attacked Longbottom, that part of me hated it when he let that Cruciatus end. That part of me was begging for another, for more.'

'So you're asking me?'

'You're craving it. You need it. You won't judge me. And I want to know...'

'What?'

'How deep it runs... how much I... if I really do... you know... like it.'

Theo took a moment, though the shaking and the craving and the haze built up by Blaise's offer were making it difficult to think clearly. Blaise sighed, knowing he would have to make this decision for Theo. He pressed the wand into the other boy's hand. His fingers clenched it convulsively and he flipped their position immediately. Blaise found himself slammed onto his back with a wand at his throat and a barely sane Theo straddling him, fingers white, barely keeping the words behind his teeth, glaring at Blaise. Violence and sex had never been more obvious in his features, overridden at the moment by fear. Blaise would have to change that.

'Imagine it,' Blaise murmured, closing his eyes and letting his mind wander, 'Me screaming and writhing in pain underneath you. Bleeding even. Completely yours to do with what you...'

'Crucio'

Logic and speech vanished. Exquisite pain and darkness ruled.