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I Should Go copyright 2013 nikkipattinson
I Should Go
Chapter Seven
Two hours later, I'm rolling around my living room floor laughing at the fact that rain is soaking the carpet in front of the windows that I insisted be opened so that my whole house wouldn't reek of ganja.
"This is awesome!" Emmett yelled over the thumping beats of the stereo that Jasper had playing at alarming levels. "I've never seen him so loose before."
"Guess we finally smoked the stick out of his ass," Jasper said as he took a long pull from the bong he had brought over to my house.
"Stick up my ass," I said as I continued to laugh. "Why didn't I smoke this shit sooner?" I wondered aloud.
"Because of that stick up your ass," Jasper replied as he leaned back to blow smoke rings toward my ceiling.
"Stick up my ass," I exclaimed again before falling over in hysterical laughter.
"We should video this," Emmett said as he reached for his phone.
*****ISG*****
I awoke the next morning in the floor of my living room with nothing on but my boxers and my tie. Vague images of the night before ran through my memory. I stopped and rewound when I distinctly saw myself running down my street in the rain in nothing but the boxers and tie that I had on. I groaned and rubbed my face. I silently prayed that I didn't really do what I know that I did and then I quickly added the hope that Emmett didn't record the whole thing on his phone for posterity.
I rolled over and pushed myself up onto my hands and knees. My head was still slightly foggy and I wondered if I might still be high. I should never have let Jasper and Emmett talk me into smoking that shit.
I sat back on my heels and surveyed the damage to my house. There were several empty potato chip bags strewn about the room. From what I could tell, we didn't actually eat the bulk of the chips, but chose to grind them into the carpet instead. A plate of what looked to be burnt cookies was on the coffee table.
"We made cookies?" I asked the air.
On closer inspection, I saw that we had not 'made' cookies, but had apparently taken the Chips Ahoy that I had bought and re-baked them. I stood up and noticed that it was beyond cold. I had goose-bumps running the length of my body.
"Oh, yeah... the windows." I crossed the room to close them and stepped in the sopping wet carpet. "Great," I muttered. I systematically closed all of the open windows and then went to find towels to try to soak up some of the water from the carpet. "Now I remember why I never smoked that shit," I mumbled as I ascended the stairs to my bedroom.
As I walked into the room toward the attached bathroom, I glanced at the clock by the bed. "Holy fuck!" I exclaimed as I saw that it was well after nine o'clock. I forgot all about the carpet and started fumbling with the tie around my neck. "I'm late... so late!"
I nearly face planted when I tried to simultaneously run into the bathroom to start the shower and remove my boxers. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," I continued to swear as I hurriedly showered and washed my hair.
I literally jumped out of the shower and ran to my closet without bothering to dry off. I grabbed my navy suit and a white shirt. I threw them on the bed and ran back to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I brushed with one hand and tried to tame my hair with the other. I looked at the stubble on my chin and decided that I really had no time to take care of it.
I finished with my teeth and grabbed the deodorant, applying it as I ran back to the bedroom for my clothes. I dropped the container on the floor as I crossed to my dresser. I jerked a pair of boxers out of the drawer and tried to put them on my still damp body.
I rushed to the bed and jerked my shirt off the hanger. That's when I remembered what Jasper said the day before about my attire. I paused for a brief moment and then went back to my closet for a polo shirt and a pair of khaki pants. I grabbed my brown loafers and exited the closet while trying to pull my shirt on over my head.
"So late," I muttered again as I jerked on my pants and tried to put on socks while standing. I slid my feet into my loafers and rushed down the stairs. I ran to the kitchen to grab a box of cereal figuring that I could eat it dry from the box at the office.
"What the hell!" I exclaimed at the mess that was my kitchen. I was stunned into paralysis at the sight before me. There wasn't a clean counter top in the entire room. The floor was littered with chips and... cereal. "Shit," I groaned as I realized that we probably ate the cereal the night before.
"I'm going to kill Jasper," I told myself as I ran for the front door, grabbing my laptop as I went. I was out the door and halfway down the front steps before I remembered that I didn't lock the door and I didn't have my keys. I ran back inside, taking the stairs two at a time, and began searching my room for my keys and the wallet I had just remembered.
I saw the numbers on the clock change to ten as I realized that my wallet and keys were not in my bedroom. I had no idea where they could be and I was so late that I began to panic.
"Keys and wallet; keys and wallet..." I began to chant as I ran back down the stairs and surveyed the living room. I saw my gray suit pants draped over the back of the recliner and sprinted for them. I quickly extricated my wallet and keys from the pants and ran for the door yet again.
I stopped on the porch long enough to shove my wallet in my back pocket and lock my front door. I then took off in a full-on sprint to the 'house' that was my office. As I rounded the corner, I ran into another person... hard. I somehow managed to do some weird Ninja style grab-turn-twist-fall move and land in the grass by the sidewalk with the aforementioned person landing on top of me.
"OOOF!" All of the air rushed out of me as I landed on my back. I gasped for air as the person I had hit pushed off of my chest. As my eyes cleared, I could see that it was.., "Brown Eyed Girl?"
"Are you okay? We have got to stop meeting like this," she said. I could see the concern in her eyes mixed with amusement.
"What are you...? How...? Are you hurt?" I stuttered.
"I'm good. I'm not the one lying flat on their back. You're a good cushion. Where are you heading in such a rush, speedy?" she said as she stood and brushed the dirt off of her pants.
"To work and I'm late," I said as I stood and started brushing the dirt off my own clothes. "Seriously... are you hurt?"
She made a show of looking herself over and then said, "I appear to be a-okay. What about you?"
"I don't think anything is broken. I'm sorry... yet again."
"I'm Bella, by the way... not brown eyed girl," she said as she extended her hand.
"I said that out loud?" She nodded her head and smiled. I shook her hand. "Sorry about that. I'm Edward."
"The new lawyer... yeah, I heard that you were coming to town. You work on Saturday?"
"What?"
"Tony doesn't usually open the office on the weekend. Are you going to start doing that, because I really don't think that you need to. Forks is kind of quiet most of the time. If you're needed, then someone will call you... I'm sure."
"It's Saturday."
"Yes. Are you sure you're okay? You didn't hit your head, did you? Do I need to call someone?"
"It's fricking Saturday!" I yelled as I threw my hand in the air. "Typical!"
I noticed that Bella took a step away from me and looked at me warily... like she was contemplating running as far away from me as quickly as her legs would carry her.
"I'm sorry. It's been a long week and I had a bad night. This is just so typical." I ran my hand through my hair and shook my head. "Again, I apologize for my outburst and for running into you. I feel like an idiot."
"It's fine. No harm, no foul. I'm okay and you're okay. Let's just call it good." She turned and walked to the driver's side of the red Mustang parked by the curb. "It was nice meeting you, Edward," she said over her shoulder. "But next time, let's not actually run into each other, okay? I'd rather not continue to tempt fate."
She got in the car and drove away, leaving me wondering what she meant by 'tempting fate.'
I trudged back to my house. I unlocked the door, dropped the laptop in the entryway, and then flopped down on the couch. I immediately heard a distinct crack. I furrowed my brow in confusion. I slowly stood and turned to face the couch. I lifted the cushion to find one of my four dinner plates broken into two perfect halves. I sighed and lifted the other two cushions to find two more of my plates, thankfully, intact. The whole stunt screamed Emmett.
"I'm going to kill them," I mumbled as I picked up the plates and carried them back to the kitchen. I returned to the living room and checked under the cushions on the other chairs. I found a couple of saucers and some flatware, which I took back to the kitchen. I checked the cabinets and drawers in the kitchen only to find that all of my dishes were missing. I began looking underneath everything in the living room for other surprises.
I eventually found everything. I placed all of the dishes in the dishwasher and turned it on. I then went back to the living room to survey the damage. It seemed that we had managed to contain the party to the first floor. I sighed and went upstairs to get towels to try to dry the carpet so that I could vacuum it without destroying my vacuum cleaner.
I was stomping on the towels when I heard the knock at the door. The last thing I wanted at that moment was company. I was in a foul mood and it was getting worse the more I had to clean. Getting the water out of the carpet was proving to be a bigger pain in the ass than I thought that it would be. I hadn't even started to think about cleaning the kitchen and I was afraid to go into the downstairs half-bath.
Whoever was at the door knocked again, so I resigned myself to answering them. I left the towels on the floor and jerked open the door. I should have kept ignoring the knocking.
"Go away, Emmett," I said as I tried to close the door in his face.
He stuck his foot in the door and said, "Hey, now. I came to help you clean up. Let me in."
I reluctantly opened the door and ushered him in.
"Holy shit," he said under his breath.
"Yeah," I said with malice, "holy shit would be an apt description. The kitchen is worse. I don't want to even go into the bathroom. Oh, and you owe my one plate, asshole."
He laughed. "You found the plates. Wait... why do I owe you a plate?"
"Because when I sat on the couch, one of them broke."
"My bad, man. It was just supposed to be uncomfortable."
"You're an idiot," I said as I went back to my towels. "I can't believe I let you two morons talk me into doing that. Now my house is trashed, this carpet is probably ruined, and I have a headache that could kill a horse."
"Chillax, cuz. I brought the shop-vac. I can suck that water right up, no probs."
I stared at him and shook my head. "You talk like a fifteen year old poser, dumbass."
"You better be glad that I love you like a brother or I wouldn't put up with your constant insults," he pouted.
"You better be glad that you're huge or I'd beat the shit out of you for trashing my house."
"Hey, I didn't do it alone. You did help."
"I know," I groaned. "Go get your damn shop-vac and help me get this house back in order. With my luck, Mom will show up some time today and don't want to have to explain what happened here last night."
I took the towels and dropped them into the washing machine. I returned to the living room in time to see Emmett lugging in the shop-vac. He plugged it in the nearest outlet and went to work trying to dry the carpet under the windows. As much as I hated to admit it, I was thankful he had shown up to help. I went into the kitchen and started to try to find a counter top underneath all of the mess.
