The Other Sides of Haruhi Suzumiya

Alternate Universe: Black Brigade

The young man on the deck of the boat sighed, taking a puff of his cigarette then coughing slightly. "You should really go easy on those," Okabe suggested, the big Asian man who ran the ship giving him a sympathetic look, his dark brown hair chopped short.

The younger man they had nicknamed Kyon shook his head tiredly. "How did you get this crew together?" he asked.

"I've been shipping stuff from Japan out to Asia for awhile," Okabe admitted, "and my crew just... kind of grew."

Just then the strikingly attractive Ryouko Asakura stuck her head out from the hatch. Her black hair was tied back in a pony tail, usually a turn on for Kyon. But she was also the crew member who abducted him, and so far had threatened him with both guns and knives.

"Sensei," Ryouko called, "Koizumi is nearly done in the galley. Dinner will be soon."

"Thanks," Okabe nodded.

"Oh, Mr. Kyon?" Ryouko added warmly.

"Uh, yeah?" Kyon asked nervously.

"Do not even hint at flirting with my girlfriend Yuki," Ryouko said cheerfully, "or I will have to weigh you down with bullets and toss you over the side." She ducked down below as she added, "Have a nice day."

"Ugh," Kyon slumped, letting the cigarette fall from his hand.

"Yeah, she's... quite protective of Yuki," Okabe admitted. "She and Yuki were roommates when Yuki hired me to get them both out of Japan. I don't know all the details about why they left, but I heard reports about a knife killer..."

"So why keep her around?" Kyon gulped.

"Because Yuki is a brilliant computer hacker and electronics expert," Okabe shrugged, "and she doesn't come without Ryouko." He looked out over the waters where they were anchored, "And to be honest, someone of Ryouko's talents does come in handy at times."

"I suppose so," Kyon admitted.

Another, much more attractive head came up from the hatch, the brown haired young woman smiling sheepishly. "Uhm, sir?" Mikuru Asahina called, "lunch is ready."

"We'll be right down," Okabe agreed as he crushed out his smoke.

Kyon blinked, shaking his head as the vision of beauty disappeared. "And she's...?" he asked him weakly.

Confidently Okabe said, "Best damn forger in Asia." He quickly lied as they went below, "Not that we forge things, of course."

"Of course," Kyon agreed wryly. "And this Koizumi I heard mentioned?"

"Ship's cook," Okabe said, "he'll probably hit on you, but just ignore it. I don't think he really means it."

Kyon blinked, "He's gay?"

"Flamingly," Okabe answered cheerfully.

They walked down the corridor in the former patrol ship (And how the hell had Okabe gotten such a large vessel? Especially ex-military? Admittedly the deck canons were gone but the armor was all there.) and out into the galley. The crew were sitting around the table, with a space open at the head for Okabe and a seat open by the apparently flaming Koizumi.

"All right everyone, this is Kyon," Okabe announced, "as you all know, we snatched him to get a data disk belonging to the Suzumiya group. Sadly, said group has put a price on his head, so I feel we're honor bound to shelter him."

"Wouldn't killing him be more efficient?" Ryouko asked curiously, "I could do it for you now if you like."

"Ryouko-chan!" Mikuru protested, "Don't joke."

Yuki looked up, her almost gray hair falling into her eyes. "It would be more efficient," she noted calmly.

"Now, now," Koizumi smiled charmingly as the brown haired boy said, "I'm sure our captain can find a way to turn this to our advantage."

'Suck up,' Kyon thought as he looked at his food dubiously, deciding not to eat until the discussion was over.

"Actually, now that I think about it having Kyon around might be useful," Okabe admitted, "I'm a bit too... notorious with some ports. We could use his negotiating talents there."

"How do you know I'm a good negotiator?" Kyon had to ask.

"You talked fast enough to make Ryouko not kill you on the spot," Okabe noted, "that's a hell of a accomplishment."

"Thank goodness," Koizumi smiled, leaning in towards Kyon, "I'd so regret losing such charming new company.

'That is a creepy smile, you are WAY too close, and get out of my face!' Kyon thought, but didn't say aloud. "Well," he bowed to the group, "I hope you'll treat me well."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

To say that Haruhi was mad was a understatement: the young president of Suzumiya group was FURIOUS. But not for the reason's one might expect. "You mean to tell me my fiance is MISSING?" she yelled angrily.

Yes, Kyon hadn't mentioned the betrothal to anyone. It wasn't that he disliked the energetic young woman, but she was very domineering. She had practically declared them engaged on their first meeting, and no matter what he did she refused to be swayed. Worse she seemed to expect him to become a vice-president, or pretty much her lap dog. So when the courier job popped up, he seized it with both hands.

"We have a rough idea where he is," Kunikida said respectfully, the shorter man rising from his place around the table, "it appears he was sighted when the Brigade Company delivered our computer disk to the Tsuruya group."

"Tsuruya?" Haruhi screeched. She slammed a fist against the table, "That explains everything! I knew that wench wanted MY Kyon!"

Taniguchi got up, the taller, darker haired man clearing his throat. "Uh, ma'am, shouldn't we be discussing the Tsuruya Group getting the disks...?" he asked.

"No, we're going to talk about more important things, like getting Kyon back!" Haruhi snapped.

Taniguchi sighed, "Yes ma'am."

To be continued...?

Notes: Just the idea for a Haruhi Suzumiya/Black Lagoon fusion. Not sure if it'll be continued, it mostly depends on if I get inspired.

Kyon equals Rock, more or less. Ryouko is Revy, Yuki is Benny and Mikuru is kinda Greenback Jane. Okabe is Dutch, as I couldn't come up with anyone else to take the role. I also put them in a bigger boat that the Lagoon, to justify upping the cast a bit.