Lucky Seven: Satoshi x Kyon (The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya)
By: S-Unit
'How the hell did I get mixed up in this? And why is this happening to me?' This was the simultaneous thought that was going through the minds of Kyon and Satoshi in the "Literary Club" room of North High.
It was bad enough that Satoshi and Pikachu had fallen through some sort of weird dimensional wormhole thingy landing in this club room. It was bad enough that almost everyone got the kawaii bug when they saw Pikachu (who was currently perched on the shoulder of a rather well-endowed girl in a nurse's outfit, the fifth one Mikuru wore this week).
But this just took the cake.
"You want me to... kiss him?" Kyon stared incredulously at the girl who commanded him to do so.
"That's right!" Haruhi chirped. "The SOS Brigade needs to attract new members, and attractive ones too. If we want attractive guys to show up, we need attractive girls! And to get attractive girls, we need to get some Boys' Love going on here!"
"Wah?" Satoshi's jaw dropped. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He'd never met anyone this... crazy before.
"And by making out with the star of Pokemon, Kyon, you'll cement yourself as an idol among girls everywhere!"
'Sure an idol for yaoi fangirls, maybe.' Kyon shuddered. "Why can't you get Koizumi to make out with him?"
Haruhi walked around behind the two unfortunates, "Because he's the one taking the pictures! Right, Koizumi?"
"Whatever you say, your highness!" Koizumi smiled with his eyes closed, that same look that makes Kyon want to strangle him.
"Please, I beg of you!" Satoshi screamed. "Don't do this, you'll have a wrath of angry shippers coming down upon you!"
"Since we've already broken the Fourth Wall, I might as well explain to you the nature of this series..." Kyon explained to Satoshi, "...Haruhi always gets what she wants. And I mean always."
"That's right Kyon! And right now, I want to take pictures of some Satoshi on Kyon action!" Haruhi snickered.
The two unwilling participants didn't have time to gulp as Haruhi forced Satoshi on top of Kyon, pressing their faces together...
