Well… hello there. Didn't I tell you I would be terrible with frequent updates when I first started writing this fic? I've been working relentlessly on this chapter ever since april, and I swear this was meant to be a transition chapter but now it's so much more than that. Lot's of character stuff, two twists you might hate or love me for… probably hate lol. Only took me 17.5k to wrap it all up, so let's dive in!

Song: sunset by the xx. You might know it from that machel scene in the file room, but I've actually loved it for years and I would die for this band, so check it out.

Have fun reading and let me know what you think

xx P.


Chapter Seven: Stay One Step Away

I always thought it was sad
The way we act like strangers
After all that we had
We act like we had never met


Somewhere between New Year's Day and 1903

.

She's walking.

She doesn't know where.

She doesn't know since when.

She just keeps walking.

She keeps walking until she can't walk anymore, until she breaks down in the middle of the darkness.

It smells like a forest.

She doesn't know where she is.

She keeps walking, although she feels like she can't anymore.

Every time she stops, she sees his face.

So she keeps walking.

'I'm not in love with him', a voice says.

Her own voice.

A memory.

'I'm not in love with him', she told Neil.

She doesn't know if she was right or wrong.

'I was doing my job.'

She doesn't know what's real and what isn't.

She feels everything, and nothing at all.

The sun comes up, and she's still walking.

She doesn't know where, but she's hungry.

Whoever crosses her path first won't survive.

She could go back.

She should go back.

He told her to stay.

She keeps walking, because when she stops, all she sees is his face.

'Donna. Donna please.'

She keeps walking.

.

It's a girl. She can't be older than 14. She stops dead in her tracks when Donna crawls out of the woods, covered in dirt and shaking. She asks her if she is okay.

Donna has her teeth in her neck before she can say anything else.

She leaves the girl behind to die before she can feel bad about it.

When she finally does, it's too late to go back and save her.

She doesn't know where she is.

She keeps walking.

.

She stops counting after the sun rises for the 6th time.

After that, it all becomes a blur.

Time and place don't exist.

They don't matter.

She feeds and feeds and feeds.

She doesn't know where she is.

She doesn't know when she is.

She stops walking.

Things get messy one time.

She doesn't remember much of it.

She doesn't remember much of anything.

She wakes up in a room filled with bodies.

It must've been her doing.

There is no one else there with her.

She's all alone.

.

She slips in and out of consciousness, drawn to specific places.

She doesn't remember why.

She just walks until she arrives.

She never stays for long.

She never remembers how long.

It's all a blur.

When she wakes up, their faces are all she sees. His more often than hers.

Sometimes she hears his name like an echo in her head.

Ringing.

Harvey.

It's like a punishment.

Sometimes she forgets about them, too, like she forgets about everything else.

Sometimes she even forgets their names.

Chicago, she remembers.

Chicago is next.

It's the wrong way, but that's the right way.

It's the only way.

.

She starts craving touch.

Emotion.

Connection.

She leaves.

There's one place left and it's all over.

She's waiting to feel something.

She sees fireworks and she does.

It's sudden, like a wave crashing down on her.

It hurts so much.

Her chest might explode.

So she feeds, and she feels something else.

Something better.

She's ecstatic, if only for a moment.

The world is sharp, if only for a moment.

It all blurs again soon afterwards.

.

'It's okay', a voice says.

She wakes up.

She's surrounded by blood.

Surrounded by darkness.

She doesn't know what year it is.

She doesn't know where she is.

'I'm here', a voice says.

She craves touch.

She misses them.

She misses him.

For the first time in a long time, she wants to cry.

'I can help you', the voice says.

She knows she shouldn't believe it.

She's alone.

Everything is a blur.

She doesn't know where she is.

But there is this voice.

There's this lifeline.

It's been so long since there's been a lifeline.

'Let me help you.'

She shouldn't.

But it's been so long.

She's been alone for so long.

She shouldn't.

She inches closer to the voice anyway.

She craves connection, emotion.

She craves touch.

It doesn't matter from who.

.

New York, summer of 1903

.

He took a deep breath and got out of the carriage. The sight of the house in front of him made his gut twist. For a moment, he wanted nothing more than to turn around and leave this place behind. Amanda was Donna's family, not his. He shouldn't be here.

It'd been three years. They had just come back to New York yesterday.

He still hadn't found Donna, although his search for her had been relentless. He'd dragged Jessica through the entire country, crossing off the places from the list one by one. But she was nowhere to be found, so Harvey eventually gave in and agreed to return to New York like Jessica had planned.

Harvey sighed. He really shouldn't be here. He still had time to turn around and not put himself through this. Jessica had told him not to visit Amanda, saying it would only bring back things he's been trying to push down for the last few years.

There was still time to turn around and go back home.

The decision was made for him when Amy, the daughter of the family's main handmaiden, caught his eye and approached him. "Mr. Specter", she said, her lips curling up in a slight smirk when she bowed her head in what felt like mocking obedience. Harvey didn't mind. He'd always been fond of Amanda's house staff, and Amy in particular. She'd grown noticeably in the last three years, from a kid to a now 17-year-old woman that held herself with a lot more confidence than she used to.

"Amy. You've aged."

"Well, you have neither aged nor grown in the slightest… sir", she fired back easily.

Harvey flashed her a grin. "Is the family home?"

"Yes." She led him down the path toward the main door. "All six of them."

He stopped dead in his tracks. "Six?"

Amy bit her lips, fighting a chuckle. "Oh, you have missed so much."

"Don't tell me Amanda gave birth three times since I last saw her. That poor woman."

She frowned, urging him to move into the hallway. "No, she gave birth once. Last year."

Harvey answered that with an honest smile. "Good for them. But who are the other two, then?"

Amy looked at him like he was joking, but then she seemed to realise that his confusion was entirely genuine. Her face fell. "Oh no. You really don't know. I thought that's why you came back."

"Know what?"

"Oh dear god, you're not going to take this well."

"Amy, what— "

"I'll announce you to the missus, wait here." She quickly disappeared around the corner and left him standing dumbfounded in the large hallway. His finger started twitching nervously. He had no idea what was going on, but judging from Amy's behaviour, he was in for a surprise as huge as it was unwanted. He suddenly wished he would've brought Jessica with him. She might not stand the mere sight of him at the moment, but she still managed to keep his mind focused. And despite his behaviour over last three years, she hadn't left him behind.

She had never left him behind.

His nervousness faded away like it was nothing when the door to his right opened and Amanda appeared in front of him, still radiantly beautiful with her green eyes and fiery red hair.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?", he beamed.

"Harvey." She came closer and pulled him into a hug. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her, taking a moment to breathe her in. "How have you been?", she whispered into his ear, words layered with a lot more meaning than they should be.

"Oh, you know. It's been…"

Amanda drew back at the nothingness that was his answer to look at him. "But you're okay?", she asked, studying him heedfully, in a way only she and Donna could.

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"Good."

"Don't you go stealing my wife now", another voice said.

"Adam, how the hell are you, my friend?" Harvey slapped Amanda's husband on the back cordially, a grin plastered on his face.

"Terrific, mainly because of this little guy here." Adam jerked his head toward the small boy that he was holding.

Harvey's features softened. "Hey there, little fella. What's your name?" He didn't really expect an answer, but the boy wrapped his small hand around Harvey's finger. "Arthur", he babbled.

Harvey was stunned. "How old is he?"

"18 months. He's a sharp one, so he definitely isn't yours." Amanda threw him a wink when Harvey put a hand over his chest, acting offended.

"So, where's my favourite family member, then? Where's my little girl?"

On cue, Adelia came running around the corner, yelling, "Uncle Harvey", and throwing herself into his arms. He embraced her tightly, both touched that she still remembered him so well and in disbelief over how big she'd gotten. The last time he'd seen her, she'd been barely four years old.

"If this isn't my Ada. Hey you", he murmured into her hair. "You've changed."

"I'm six now", she clarified proudly, her head still buried in his chest.

"Six? God, that's so old. How does it feel to be that old?"

Adelia giggled and looked up at him with sparkling eyes. "You're silly."

"It's what I do best, pumpkin." He rubbed her back, looking over to Amanda, who was still observing the situation with a bright smile on her face.
"It's good to be back." Harvey's grin disappeared as quickly as it had come when two other people joined them in the hallway.

A stranger; and Donna.

Donna.

Harvey must've said her same out loud because her eyes slid up to meet his. He felt like something very sharp, very cold ran down his spine.

She looked… different. Beautiful, but different. Everything about her appearance didn't sit right with him. For the first time since he'd first met her, she was dressed and made up entirely appropriately. Instead of letting it fall openly over her shoulder, her hair was strictly combed back and pinned up. Her dress was white, high-necked and embraided with pastel-coloured flowers. Her spark was gone. She looked pale, bland and indifferent.

She looked like a doll.

"Harvey." Her tone of voice lacked any emotion whatsoever. "I didn't know you'd be here."

"I didn't know you'd be here, either. Otherwise I would've spared myself the trip to Austin, and definitely wouldn't have almost drowned in the flood looking for you."

She raised her brows. "You were looking for me?"

"Oh, don't give me that shit, Donna", Harvey barked. Now that the first state of shock was over, his mind went straight to anger. Anger over her leaving him. Anger over her rejecting him. Anger over her hurting him.

Anger over her breaking his heart.

"You knew damn well I spent the last three years searching for a trace of you, don't you fucking dare play coy."

"Harvey, language", Amanda warned, her eyes pointing at Adelia. The girl was still looking up at Harvey, but her eyes were now round and intimidated by his rage.

"Come on, sweetheart", Adam cut in, taking his daughter's hand and leading her out of the hallway. "Let's go play fetch in the garden."

Amanda gave her husband an appreciating nod when he passed her.

"So, when did you come back to town?", Harvey asked when Adam and the kids had left.

"A few days ago."

"Huh."

Donna squinted her eyes. "You didn't know."

"Yeah, no shit, Donna."

"Watch your mouth, Harvey." Harvey's eyes moved to the man standing next to Donna. The tone of his voice suggested pure hostility.

"And who the fuck are you?"

The man took one step closer to Harvey.

"Gentlemen", Amanda cautioned them again, but before she could do anything, Donna had already walked between the men, holding her hand against the stranger's chest. Harvey noticed the light being reflected by something on her ring finger and for the second time in the span of a few minutes, his world stopped turning.

"Harvey. This is Stephen Huntley." A pause. Harvey looked at her mouth, not knowing if he heard what she said next or if he just read it from her lips. Blood was rushing through his ears.

"My fiancée."

The floor gave away underneath him.

Harvey had a weird feeling in his gut. It was like his stomach did a somersault but then somehow kept falling. The anger ebbed away, allowing hurt, desperation and devastation to crawl to the surface; emotions Harvey definitely wouldn't like to have in front of Donna and her fiancée.

Fiancée. The word was like a punch in the face.

"I should go", he rasped, shaking off Amanda's hand on his arm.

"Harvey", Amanda mumbled, the empathy evident on her face. "I'm— "

Harvey cut her off with a wave of his hand.

Donna didn't move a muscle. "Give Jessica my regards."

Their eyes met.

Harvey wished he could be angry enough to snap her neck. Instead, he choked out a "Congratulations", turned on his heel and practically ran out of the door.

.

"Did you know?!"

Jessica groaned quietly. She was so fucking tired of Harvey's shit. The past three years had drained her of every bit of patience she's had for him. He'd been restless in Austin, suddenly telling her he wanted to visit Chicago again, and then Boston, and New Orleans after that. They've basically been zig zagging through the country, pushed forward by Harvey's search for something – or someone – he refused to tell her about, and also by Jessica's guilt for turning Donna, no matter how much time had passed.

They hadn't seen her since that New Year's Day in 1900. Harvey kept denying it, but Jessica knew they'd jumped from one city to the other because he was hoping to run in to her. A few months ago, he had actually managed to convince her to go to fucking Smyrna before he had finally dragged her back to Austin, just in time to watch that goddamn dam break exactly like she told him it would three years before.

She had put her foot down after that. He had his fun, and he'd made enough enemies with his reckless behaviour to last five lifetimes, so she'd decided it was time to go back to New York. He'd raised concerns if that was really the best idea, given that the Paulsen's were still there, and they still hated their guts, but when Jessica asked him if he'd prefer her leaving him to drown in the flooded town they were in at that moment, he'd agreed rather quickly.

And now he came running into the room, knocking over her favourite vase and not even flinching when it shattered into a dozen pieces on the floor next to him; he was too busy eyeing her furiously.

Here we go, she thought. "Good afternoon to you, too, Harvey."

"Don't bullshit me! Did you know Donna was back in town?"

"Yes", Jessica replied calmly. "I thought you wanted to find her. Now you've found her. And besides, we had to get out of Austin sooner rather than later."

"It wasn't that bad."

"Almost half of the dam broke, you moron."

"That's not the point of this conversation right now." He paused to look at her. "Did you know she got engaged?"

Jessica sighed.

"You knew, didn't you?"

"I told you not to go there. I told you it'd only upset you to— "

"I can't believe this." Harvey was pacing through the room, running his fingers through his hair. "You let me stroll right in there like a freaking idiot when you had enough time to at least warn me."

"I told you— "

"Oh fuck off, honestly."

"Alright, that's enough." Jessica rose from her chair and closed the distance between them. "I want you to get your shit together and listen to me right now."

Harvey huffed out an annoyed breath, but stayed silent, hesitantly meeting her stern glare.

"You need to see the situation out of her perspective. She died because you couldn't save her— "

Harvey bit his cheek so hard he drew blood.

"—And she came back because I turned her without her consent. Then, she cut ties with everyone she knew and ran off to god knows where to do god knows what. Alone, as a newly turned vampire. The very thing she's been trained to kill, and loathe, since she was born. We can be glad she's still alive. Donna has been through hell, Harvey and she went through the entirety of it on her own. Don't judge her for her actions."

Harvey shook his head. "She didn't have to go through it alone, we were there to help her, we were trying to make her stay."

Jessica scoffed. "Yeah, right. Two of the three people directly involved in her death offering to help her with her trauma, with the third person, her brother, who killed her, being close by."

Harvey took her words into consideration. "What do you expect from me, Jessica?", he asked eventually, tiredly rubbing his forehead with the palm of his hand.

"Let it go."

"What?"

"Let it go. Leave her be. If she is hellbent on pushing us away, then so be it. Let her. It's her right."

Something Donna said years ago came back into Harvey's mind. Something she had said about him and Jessica.

When are you going to realise that as long as you're under Jessica's influence, she's gonna keep making decisions for you?

Suddenly, the anger was back, pumping through Harvey's veins, begging to break out.

"This is all your fault", he spat.

"Excuse me?"

"If you hadn't forced her to drink your blood, she would've never left. She wouldn't have become this weird, unfeeling version of herself, she would've never met this Stephen guy, and she sure as hell wouldn't be engaged right now!"

"Harvey, we've been over this a million times, I didn't want to turn her, but I saw no other choice."

"Donna was right." He shook his head in disbelief. "You keep making decisions for me, like that's your right. But it isn't. This is my life, Jessica; my choice."

"I don't make decisions for you, Harvey, I make them because of you. Because you keep screwing things up without thinking about the consequences, because you were going to turn that poor girl just because you wanted to be with her, and the only way to stop you was to forestall you and show you what mistake you would've made otherwise."

Harvey cussed loudly. "That poor girl? Are you serious? Don't act like I was forcing this on her, she came to me with the idea and I told you that I thought she could be my student."

"And I told you you're full of shit and that whole mentor student thing was just an excuse to turn her. You two aren't meant to be that way, Harvey, and you know it."

"You do realise that because of what you did, Donna will never have a mentor right? Since you turned her? Every vampire can only choose one person to mentor, not two."

"I know that."

"So what, she's just gonna have to do this on her own for the rest of her existence?"

"If she chooses that path, then yes. But does she have people around her, people that can be there for her and help her."

"Helping her and mentoring her aren't the same thing. She's never gonna have the bond you and I share with anyone. She's never gonna have anyone to rely on as much as that someone relies on her."

"If you would've turned her, it would've been the same, Harvey. Only worse, because you would've condemned your relationship with her to fail."

Harvey took a step back. His head was filled with thousands of thoughts, predictions, fears. But the anger that pulsated through his entire body was stronger than anything else. He wanted to hurt her. Not physically, that wouldn't be enough. He wanted her to be hurting like he was.

"I had already changed my mind."

Jessica's shocked expression gave him some kind of sick satisfaction. "What do you mean?"

"On New Year's Eve, when— ", he cleared his throat. "I changed my mind. I realised turning her would be selfish. I realised that I couldn't do this to her, that she would be better off without me. I thought about compelling her to forget me, but decided that ultimately, it was her decision if she wanted to stay with us or not. And if she would insist on being turned into a vampire, I would've searched for a mentor with her." He swallowed and the only thing that kept him going at this point was the pure horror written all over Jessica's face. "I wanted to tell her, I just didn't know how. And the next time I saw her, she was dead."

"Harvey… I am so— I am so sorry", Jessica whispered, almost choking on her words.

"I don't care." He gave her one last look, emotionless and calculating. "I will never forgive you for this", he simply said, and then he was gone. Jessica sank into her chair and tried to steady her breathing.

Part of her already wished they'd never come back to town.

.

Donna cursed underneath her breath. Her corset was so tight that it cut off her circulation. It made her jumpy, on edge. Hungry. She longed for a scotch and ordered a bottle of champagne instead.

"I hope you're not planning on finishing the entire thing by yourself."

To Donna's surprise, the voice belonged to Amanda, who appeared next to her and signalised the bartender to add another champagne glass. "That would be terribly unlady-like."

"Since when do I care about my reputation?"

Amanda stared at her for a moment too long, as if she couldn't quite figure her out. "Since recently, it seems." Her fingers tapped against the bar surface.

"Why are you here, Amanda?"

"What do you mean?"

"You hate soirees. And balls. And anything that requires any formalities whatsoever. You've stayed away from the public eye for so long, people started to believe you were dead, or had gotten obscenely fat, or both."

Amanda hummed. "So what? Looks like I'm getting back in the saddle. Proving I'm not dead. Or fat."

"Ames."

"Don."

"Be honest with me."

"You're not gonna like it."

"That has never stopped you before."

"Well, I knew you better than I knew myself before."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'm worried about you, Donna. I haven't seen you in weeks." Amanda's eyes were sharp, the green orbs brighter than usual. "You haven't been yourself since you came back. You've completely detached yourself from anyone and anything except your fiancée. Who is shady as hell, I might add."

Donna stared ahead at the small stage behind the set-up tables, watching the musicians playing their instruments with mild fascination.

She was itching to dance.

She stayed still, correcting her posture.

"Stephen saved me."

Amanda snorted into her glass. "Did he?"

"Yes", Donna snapped. "He did."

"That's funny, to me it seems more like you gave up and he turned you into his doll."

"Gave up on what, exactly? Gave up on hunting? Gave up on the person that killed me and the rest of that poor excuse of a family? You're damn right I did."

"That's not what I mean, and you know it. You gave up on him. On them."

"We're not gonna talk about this."

"Don— "

"Shut up Amanda, before I make you shut up."

Amanda took a step back. "Right, you haven't changed at all."

Donna swallowed, correcting her posture again. Her cousin's irritation only grew.

"Just… don't mention them and we're good."

"They came back three weeks ago."

"I'm aware."

"You haven't even seen them since Harvey stumbled out of my house."

"I am aware of that, too."

"They are going to attend this dinner tonight."

"Are you merely listing things I already know?"

"You can't ignore them forever."

Donna threw her a contemptuous glance. "Watch me."

Amanda shook her head. "You can't will this away. You considered them your family, you brought them into my family. Hell, my own daughter considers them to be family. That doesn't disappear just because you want it to. You need to talk to them. You need to explain to him— "

"Explain what to him?", Donna growled, her eyes bright and dangerous when she stepped into Amanda's personal space, towering over her. "I have nothing to say to him and if you don't back off right now, Ames, so help me god, I will rip your head off."

Amanda blinked. Once, twice.

She wasn't scared, Donna could sense that. She was hurt.

"You can try to scare or push me away all you want, Donna", she finally said. "I'm not quitting you."

She finished her glass of champagne and turned her back on Donna, halting when she saw the pair that had just entered the room. She looked back over her shoulder and crooked up a brow. "Oh, and just as an aside: neither will he. We both know that."

Donna's eyes widened, eventually fixating on Jessica and Harvey coming closer to the bar. She wanted to stay. More than anything, she wanted to wait here until they saw her.

She disappeared through a side door, looking for Stephen instead.

.

When he separated himself from Jessica he could've sworn he saw Donna's red hair for a moment, but when he looked through the room, she was nowhere to be found. He probably imagined it. It was hard to recognise her these days, anyway.

One person Harvey did recognise immediately was the man standing near a beautiful arched window. The hard, defined features of his face. His thin, strictly combed back brown hair. His dark, raven-like eyes. That disgusting, arrogant smirk.

Harvey made his way to him without realising it, pushed forward by a rage so intense his mind went completely blank. A rage so strong his eyes didn't see anything but him. He almost let out a yelp when, seemingly out of nowhere, a small, warm hand pressed against his chest.

"Don't", a familiar voice said, both strict and understanding.

"Amanda—? What on earth are you doing here?", Harvey stammered, his anger momentarily forgotten.

"Keeping you from throwing Neil through that window it seems."

"You can't keep me from doing that."

"I can. And I will. Neil isn't worth destroying that piece of art, so behave yourself, please."

Harvey sighed. "What are you really doing here?"

"Looking after my mess of a cousin, of course."

"Donna is here?"

Amanda scoffed. "You know damn well she's here, it's the only reason you came."

"Have I mentioned that I really haven't missed you?", he groaned, earning himself a smirk from her. "Liar."

Her facial expression went back to worried and tense after a beat. "You shouldn't stir up trouble. Not with Neil, not with Stephen. It won't do you any good."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"I'm not. I'm trying to convince you that you won't get Donna back this way."

"Who says I want her back?"

"Get your head out of your ass, Harvey."

"Excuse me?!"

"You can fool yourself, but you can't fool me. You never could"

"How about you stay out of this, Amanda. This isn't your fight."

Her eyes widened, voice quickly lowering into a hiss. "Oh, it isn't? So my cousin Neil didn't slid my other cousin Donna's throat? Donna didn't give up her freedom so that I could be free all those years ago? Donna didn't come back as a vampire and is spiralling thanks to her involvement with you and Jessica, and no one knows the full story except us?"

Harvey had a sudden lump in his throat. Amanda shook her head and stepped aside, making the way free for Harvey. "You know what? If you want to go and make a scene right now, go ahead. Expose us all. Rip Neil's heart out in a room full of witnesses; it will help nobody, least of all Donna. But I won't stop you. If you want to light everything on fire, go ahead."

Harvey held her stare for what felt like an eternity. Then, he said, "I'm sorry", and pushed past her, headed towards Neil. He was still a few feet away when Neil's eyes landed on him, his mouth twisting into another one of his smirks.

"Long time no see, Harv", he called out with fake excitement.

Harvey clenched his hands into fists, his nails boring into the flesh with so much force that they drew blood. Amanda was right. This was a mistake, and a confrontation would only make all of their situations so much worse.

Harvey would be damned if he'd give a shit.

"You have some nerve showing up here", he seethed.

"Do I now?" Neil raised his brows tauntingly. "If I remember correctly, this is my city and my duty is to defend it from monsters like you."

"You really want to start talking about monsters?" Harvey took a step closer and brought his face near the hunter's. "Neil", he said, voice dangerously low. "The only reason you're still breathing is because Donna allows you to. The second she changes her mind, you better start running. Because I will find you, and I will torture you until you'll beg me to end your pathetic waste of a life."

"Easy, Casanova." Neil held his stare, the derision still prominent on his face and in his voice. "You wouldn't want to get your sweet little vampire teeth out in a room full of hunters."

Harvey clenched his jaw. "I don't care. It'll be worth it."

"Look at you, defending Donna's honour like a knight in— well, blood-drenched armour, I guess."

"You know nothing about honour. Or Donna."

There was a sudden glint in Neil's eyes. "Oh, but you would know, wouldn't you? You would know everything about Donna. That's what got her almost killed in the end."

Harvey tried to stay focused; tried to force down the guilt that was eating its way up. "You slit her throat, you son of a bitch, not me."

"I did", Neil replied dryly. "But you know I wasn't talking about that."

Harvey frowned.

Neil opened his mouth to elaborate, but then he crooked his head to the side, taking in Harvey's confusion with dangerous glee. "I see. You really don't know."

"Know what?", Harvey growled, grabbing Neil's collar. "The hell are you talking about?"

"She still didn't tell you", Neil chuckled, unfazed by Harvey's physical attack. "Tell me, how does it feel to constantly be on the leash of two women, one of which would rather run off and get engaged to a stranger than come back to you?"

Harvey would rip his head off. One clean stroke, and that fucker wouldn't laugh at him anymore.

He would—

"Harvey." Donna's voice behind him was low, but it had a sharp edge to it. An edge he knew and used to avoid like he avoided blackthorn. "Can I have a word?"

He considered his options. He could beat the shit out of this bastard in front of him, wipe that smirk off his face and skin him alive. Or he could walk away.

"Come on", she said, softer now, and he let himself be led out of the room by following her voice before he knew what he was doing. She walked through a small door at the side and Harvey took a moment to turn his head and look back at Neil, startled when he saw Stephen Huntley standing next to him. They looked… oddly acquainted.

His mind was spinning when he joined Donna in the small side room at last. He closed the door behind him.

"What do you think you're doing?", she snapped the second the door clicked shut.

"I'm entering a room."

"Stop it. You know what I'm talking about."

Harvey blinked. "Do I? Because as far as I'm concerned, I have no idea what the fuck you're thinking."

"Pardon me?"

"You heard me." He took a step closer. She took a step back, her eyes full of warning. "What happened to you, Donna? What is the deal with you and Stephen? Why are you back in town and on speaking terms with your brother, the man who killed you? Christ, why are you dressed like that?"

"It's been three years, Harvey", Donna answered with nonchalance he didn't buy. Her fingers were tracing along the edge of the heavy mahogany table next to her. "Things change. I changed."

"Then why does it all feel like a mask? Why does it feel like you're pretending?"

Her eyes snapped up to meet his. "I'm not."

Harvey chewed on the inside of his cheek. "What about Stephen?"

"What about him?"

"How long have you known him?"

She stayed silent for a long time. Harvey waited, ignoring the tension growing thicker with every second that passed.

"Couple of months", Donna eventually said. "I was in Austin and in a very bad shape. He helped me out of it. He saved me."

Everything about her sentences seemed rehearsed, like she's said it a million times before, like she had to say it out loud to believe it herself. But another thing caught his attention as well.

"You were in Austin?"

"I was."

"So you were going off the places on the list."

She shrugged. "I guess I was. I was doing it backwards."

Harvey almost let out a groan. Of course she'd do it backwards. How had he not thought of it himself? "I've been looking for you", he said quietly, staring at the ugly sculpture next to the window behind her.

"I know. That's why I went to the places in the wrong order."

Their eyes locked hesitantly.

"I didn't want you to find me."

Deep down inside, he'd known. He'd known the only reason he couldn't find Donna was because she didn't want to be found. Still, it hurt to hear her say it.

"So", he uttered, clearing his throat. "Known the guy for a couple of months and already got engaged, huh? Good for you."

"Save your sarcasm, Harvey, a couple of months is an entirely appropriate time to get to know each other and decide to marry."

"It's still fast."

Now there was honest irritation in her eyes. "It's not? Adam and Amanda got married after three months."

"Yeah, but they were in love."

"And what makes you think I'm not in love with Stephen?", she fired back.

He looked at her open-mouthed, like she was insane. "Your fucking face does, Donna."

For the first time, he saw genuine emotions crossing her face. She seemed taken aback by his bluntness, but that only aggravated him more. Harvey started pacing up and down, burying his face in his hands. "For Christ's sake, what are you doing? Is this some sort of punishment?"

"Of course you would think this was about you." Donna let out a cold laugh. "Everything always has to be about you, doesn't it, Harvey?"

"That wasn't what I meant."

"Like hell it wasn't."

Harvey stopped pacing, right in front of her. "Are you saying I'm really the only one here that finds it hard to believe you were 'in a bad place' and Stephen just happened to pop up out of nowhere, and he happened to be exactly what you needed, and you two happened to fall in love and your family happened to get along with him perfectly?"

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

"I do, actually. I saw him a few minutes ago. He's talking to Neil a few feet from us right now, like they've been buddies since they've been old enough to crawl."

Donna crossed her arms in front of her chest. "You don't know shit about Stephen."

"You're right. I don't. Do you?"

She tensed up, but Harvey kept pushing despite it. "Do you know a thing about him? Does he know what happened to you?"

"No, Harvey, he doesn't", she jeered, almost yelling now. "I didn't get the chance to tell him that my brother slit my throat and let me bleed out in a hallway because I didn't fit my family's expectations any longer. Let me know if you figure out how to find the right moment to tell someone that."

"So, he doesn't know you at all."

Donna took a step closer. "Shut up."

"You really want to spend the rest of your life with someone that doesn't know who you are?"

"Shut up!"

"Someone that doesn't know what you are?"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Then tell me why. Tell me why him."

They stared at each other, hard, heated. They were so close that Harvey was surrounded by her scent, a scent he didn't recognise, because she'd changed her perfume like she changed everything else, including herself.

Donna's stare dropped to his lips and he couldn't help but follow her movement. His hand slid forward, a mere inch away from her arm.

The door opened with a sudden bang and Donna flinched so hard that she stumbled back several steps, escaping Harvey's hand that had snapped further forward instinctively to keep her from falling.

Amanda took in the situation in front of her, tilting her head awkwardly. "My apologies. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"You didn't interrupt anything", Donna said, flattening her dress and stiffening her posture.

"Right. I came to let you know dinner is being served, and the Paulsen clan has officially decided to dine together."

Judging from her face, that was the last thing Amanda wanted. She met Harvey's eyes. "Apparently, that now includes you and Jessica."

.

To say the dinner was awkward was a vast understatement. Whoever decided on the seating chart had a dark sense of humour. Jessica's money was on Neil. Between poor Adam being seated next to Edward Darby, Amanda on his other side having to endure furious glances from her father sitting next to her, Jessica being put next to James Paulsen, who shot her a dangerous smile and said, "We're all friends here, aren't we, Miss Pearson?", and Donna sitting in-between Stephen and Harvey, the tension around the table was already unbearable before they'd all sat down.

Halfway through dinner, Jessica had stopped counting the worried looks Amanda kept giving Harvey and Donna – she was clearly not comfortable sitting across the round table from them, and thus so far away that she wouldn't be able to step in if things went wrong –, and she had also started to ignore Owen Paulsen's snide comments directed at herself, Harvey, Amanda and Adam. She just prayed they'd get through the evening without one of the participants ending up dead on the table.

"Tell me, Amanda, how are your children?", Neil asked, a cold smile playing around his lips. Harvey froze, and then gripped his fork so tightly the metal started bending.

"They are fine", Amanda replied politely, eyes fixed on Neil like she was daring him to say more.

"Have they started hunting yet?"

Donna's glass slipped out of her fingers and Harvey's hand darted forward to catch it, only to realise Stephen had done the same and now both of their hands were clenched around her glass. Donna cleared her throat, whispered, "Thank you, Stephen", and avoided Harvey's eyes. Harvey drew his hand back slowly, he himself avoiding Jessica's eyes. Looking at her would only make him feel more embarrassed.

Amanda was still pinning Neil down with her stare.

"Hunting?", Darby asked, raising his brows.

"Well", Neil continued, obviously the only person at this table that was enjoying himself. "Our family has a habit of teaching children how to hunt from the youngest possible age. Hunting everything from rabbits to deers to…", his voice trailed off while his eyes jumped from Jessica to Harvey before they settled on Donna. "…bigger things."

Jessica wished she could rip his throat out. She also wished Donna would stop ignoring her existence, especially since she had the growing suspicion that Neil knew exactly what happened to Donna that New Year's Eve, and Donna might've misjudged the situation back then. Or she might've misjudged everything ever since.

"That seems like a proper approach", Darby said good-naturedly, entirely oblivious of the double meaning Neil's words held. "Children can't start hunting early enough. It builds character."

James and Owen Paulsen nodded in agreement. Harvey rolled his eyes. Amanda bit her cheek until she couldn't help but retort with a tight, "I guess we are trying a different approach with our little ones. No hunting for them."

Darby patted Adam on the back and gave him a conspiratorial wink. "Good thing women aren't in charge of deciding if a man wants to take his son out for a hunt, eh?"

Adam forced out a nervous laugh but said nothing.

"So, my dear sister", Neil eventually broke through another uncomfortable silence. "Have you set a wedding date yet?"

He was looking at Harvey instead of her.

Donna folded her hands in her lap, still refusing to meet anyone's eyes. "Yes", she answered stiffly. "It'll be— ", she swallowed.

Stephen gave her a smile and put his hand on her arm, squeezing it lightly. "Go on, sweetheart."

Harvey told himself to stay still and push down the wave of nauseating emotions threatening to break out of him.

"It will be on the 5th of August."

"But— that's six weeks from now", Amanda muttered in disbelief. "You just came back, how did you get a location so quickly? It's a nightmare to find a free place in New York during the summer."

"Oh, we're not getting married here", Stephen announced politely, his hand now resting on top of Donna's. "We found a beautiful spot in Austin, where we first met and we would feel honoured if her family would attend. Isn't that right, Donna?"

He kissed her cheek. "Yes", Donna said with her head down.

Harvey was really sick of constantly feeling like a part of him was dying.

She would be married in six weeks.

To that stranger next to her that kept touching her like she was his possession.

She would leave.

Again.

She wouldn't come back this time.

Jessica's hand appeared on Harvey's arm in a sudden, mitigated motion, her fingernails digging themselves into his biceps. Harvey inhaled harshly and answered her questioning eyes with a short nod. She let him go immediately, but the few seconds had been enough to calm him down and bring him back to reality.

"We'd be honoured to attend", Donna's father gave back with a small-lipped smile. "We are fortunate enough to welcome a gentleman like you into our family, after all."

His eyes grazed Harvey's for just a split second, but it was enough to make clear that this was another provocation against him. Neil raised his glass, and again, he too looked at Harvey when he exclaimed, "To Stephen and Donna, the lovely couple."

Harvey felt like he was going to throw up.

Still, he took a sip of his scotch.

The rest of the dinner was spent in polite conversations and tame jokes after some of the tension had dissolved. Adam listened to Darby's ongoing babbling about women, hunting and the proper education of children, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else judging from his painfully bored expression. Amanda's eyes were burning holes into Harvey's forehead, but he kept his head down and avoided looking back at her as much as he could. Stephen was captivated by the conversation he had with Darby's wife, and Jessica made superficial conversation with Neil, James and Owen, all but gritting through her teeth.

Donna didn't say a single word. She said next to Harvey like a statue, her head still bowed down obediently.

Harvey couldn't bear it; couldn't bear seeing this woman that had always been so radiant, so alive, sitting there like a puppet; couldn't bear having her so close physically but not feeling connected to her anymore; couldn't bear that he'd dreamt of seeing her again, fought like hell to see her again for the last three years, and now barely recognising her; couldn't bear being so rattled by her unmoving exterior, her cold shell she'd build around herself, that he just wanted to yell at her and shake her until he got some genuine emotion out of her; couldn't bear that despite everything he wanted nothing more than to touch her, to give her comfort and not let her go again.

Harvey couldn't bear it.

The last time he'd seen her, he had held her hand. The time before that, he had kissed her. He didn't know how to go from expressing everything through touching her to not being allowed to touch her at all. He couldn't bear it.

Donna listened to every conversation yet no conversation at all. Sometimes she still found herself being overwhelmed by her heightened senses, and right now, with Harvey next to her, his heart beating out of his chest, was one of those times. She forced herself to steady her breathing and focused on the wine carafe on the table instead of keep staring at her fingers trembling in her lap.

She just had to get through this. After today, she could avoid Harvey and Jessica again, avoid Amanda too if necessary. She could convince Stephen to go back to Austin earlier than intended.

It's just today, she told herself. After today, she would be fine. After today, she could leave her old life behind; this time forever.

And then, all of the sudden, she felt his hand shift and slowly move towards hers, not daring to take it, yet settling on her thigh, very close to where her hand was. Too close. It was nothing more but a featherlight touch, just the corners of their hands lying next to each other, however, it was enough for her to consider giving in.

Ever since she'd come back and had to face him again, she'd felt this ache to touch him. To kiss him again. Donna had thought coming back with another man by her side would protect her from it but in reality, it only made things worse. It only made the contrast of what Harvey evoked out of her opposed to what she felt for Stephen so much clearer.

Donna closed her eyes, trembling, fighting the urge to take his hand into hers but also unable to remove it from its position. Two of his fingers slowly moved on top of hers. His warmth spread through her like a wildfire, sudden and checkless, causing her to take in a short breath and her eyes to snap back open, still not risking looking down at their hands but fixating on the wine carafe on the table again.

Stephen was right there, to her left, laughing about something Mrs. Darby had just said. If he would turn around… If he would turn his head to the side he'd see—

"Harvey", she breathed, finally stealing a glance at him from the corner of her eye. "Please stop."

His stare was unwavering, focused straight ahead as if he was sucked in by Darby's rambles about hunting foxes. But his smile betrayed him, because his smile was meant for Donna. It was hag-ridden, like he was in actual, physical pain and he couldn't make it stop.

"I don't know how", he whispered back.

And Donna knew.

She knew it wouldn't just be today she had to get through.

It would be every single day that followed as well.

.

They would leave in two days. Stephen had only agreed to go back to Austin about a month before the wedding because Donna had put it under the disguise of wanting to be more involved with the wedding planning. She feared he might see through it. She feared that the longer they stayed, the more she was testing her luck. She feared that if she stayed for one day longer, she couldn't ignore her second thoughts anymore.

If Stephen hadn't agreed, she feared she might have left without him. The urge to run away was just too strong.

She was alone for the first time in weeks, no servants, no family members, no fiancée. She'd asked them all to get out of the apartmen and let her gather her things on her own. Stephen said he had business to take care of anyway. She didn't ask what; he knew what he was doing, and she wasn't about to get involved.

Donna flinched when she heard a knock on the door. She'd been so caught up in her thoughts that she'd forgotten there was nobody there to answer the apartment door for her.

She hurried towards the entrance, trying to comb her hair back to make herself more presentable. At least she was dressed appropriately.

Donna's face fell when she opened the door and saw who was on the other side of it.

It was Harvey. His face was flushed, the tie crooked to the side and his hair a sweaty mess, like he'd been running.

"You can't go."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't want you to leave."

.


I always thought it was a shame
That we have to play these games
It felt like you really knew me
Now it feels like you see through me


New York, today

.

Things were fine.

It's been a while since Harvey's last kill. When they fought off William's vampires in February, they'd been anxiously waiting for Neil's next move; but it never came. Jessica told them to see it as a good sign and enjoy the quiet time.

Harvey was itching for a fight.

Donna was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Jessica, despite what she was telling the others, was preparing for war.

Mike, Rachel and Louis were somewhere in between.

Harvey still refused to talk to Jessica about anything but business. Instead, he slowly, for the first time in over a century, began to properly confide in other people again. Mainly Mike. Subconsciously, mostly Donna. In his own way, also by annoying Rachel and picking fights with Louis.

After over a month of silence, avoiding fights and pretend peace, the tension inside the group was beginning to become insufferable. Easter came and went without any disturbances.

Things were fine.

Harvey was ready to kill half of Brooklyn just to have something to do. He'd never been good at keeping his feet still. None of them were. For decades, Harvey and Jessica had been in a constant state of restlessness, mainly because they couldn't afford to live any other way. When they weren't fighting (and killing) every threat in their reach, they were running. Running from the person that now was nowhere to be seen.

Harvey was yearning for a talk with Jessica, yearning for guidance.

He felt anchorless without it.

"Good morning", Mike chirped, striding into his bosses' office like he owned it and dropping himself on the chair across from him.

"It was until now", Harvey moaned without any heat in his voice.

"Geez, when did your comebacks get that outdated? I know you're like really old, but you could at least try to make it less obvious?."

Harvey shot him a dirty look and continued typing.

"Nothing?", Mike asked after a beat. "Wow. Not even the tiniest bit of witty banter. I don't know what to do with myself now."

Harvey groaned and pushed his chair back, heading straight to the small table and pouring himself a scotch.

"Umm, it's not even noon yet."

"And you're already getting on my last nerve", Harvey gave back, downing his drink in one go. He hummed in appreciation when he felt the alcohol burning down his throat. Maybe that'll help taking the edge off.

"Dude are you okay?" Mike sounded more concerned than mocking.

"No, I'm bored out of my mind. And that is not going to end well for anyone around me."

Mike eyed him curiously. "Is this because of Jessica?"

"No", Harvey muttered defensively. He made himself another drink, taking a small sip this time. "Yes. Maybe."

"I know this is a wild concept for you, but why don't you just talk to her?"

"Because I can't trust her right now."

The young lawyer raised his brows. "Damn, the hell did she do to you?"

"It's none of your business. All you need to know is that talking to her is not an option right now." He gritted his teeth. "God, I wish I had someone to kill."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

Harvey almost did a double take. He did not expect that response. "What?!"

"What do you mean 'what'? You're not the only one with a killing urge around here."

"So, Rachel still hasn't found a way around you wanting to rip my head off each time you see me? Why am I not surprised?"

"Lay off her, she's done enough for me already!"

Harvey scoffed. "Easy, wolfy. What about Louis? Can't he do something?"

"Oh yeah, Louis has been an immense help, when I asked him if he could do anything about it, he said 'why would I, just kill Harvey and get it over with, you'd be doing all of us a favour'."

"Well, at least now I know who my first target's gonna be when I do go on my next killing spree."

Mike chuckled. "He'd kick your ass."

"He would not."

"He so would."

"Did you come in here with the sole purpose of pushing me closer to the edge? Because if you did, it's working like a charm."

"Where do you think Neil is right now?"

Harvey's eyes widened at the sudden change of topic. "Mike…"

"He's not here, and Jessica can't find him anywhere, which means he could attack this firm at any given moment and we wouldn't see it coming."

"Thanks for revealing this shocking turn of events to me, I hadn't been thinking about it at all for the last two months", Harvey countered dryly.

"We should prepare ourselves for a fight."

"I'm always prepared for a fight you dickhead, why do you think I've been unable to keep my feet still ever since we fought off the vampires?"

"I don't know", Mike said exasperatedly, tearing at his hair. "But it doesn't look like you're doing anything. It looks like we're all standing still and wasting our valuable time."

"This is his plan, Mike. He wants to wear us down with the waiting until we're vulnerable enough for him to strike again."

"Well, his plan is working! We are vulnerable. The waiting is wearing us down. The six of us are this close from tearing each other's throats out."

Harvey's brows furrowed. "What's really going on here?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't give me that bullshit, until yesterday you were the most balanced out of all of us."

"Don't start."

"Is there a full moon around the corner or something? Are you wolfing out?"

"Harvey I'm warning you, don't provoke me."

"Don't tell me Rachel is refusing to let you have a go at her."

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Can't say I blame her, I don't wanna think about how furry you might be in certain pla—"

Mike landed a clean, hard punch straight under Harvey's jaw that made him reel back several steps.

"She's pregnant, you absolute piece of shit!", he yelled.

A heavy silence followed. Harvey held his jaw, eyes almost falling out of his head. "What?"

Mike swallowed. His voice was shaking when he spoke again. "She's pregnant."

Harvey closed his eyes. "How far is she?"

"Almost four months."

"How long have you known?"

"She told me yesterday."

Harvey jerked his head to the side in an acknowledging nod. "This is a problem."

Mike blinked several times. "A— a problem?"

"We should think about what to do next. Rachel should leave town immediately, go off the radar until it's born. We'll stay behind and cover her tracks to make sure she's not being followed."

Mike's eyes narrowed down on him with so much barely withheld anger that he was trembling. "What?", Harvey said defensively. "It's either that or getting rid of it, but knowing you that's never gonna happen, so— "

The second punch was even harder, and it was meant to hurt. Harvey's nose started bleeding the second it met Mike's fist. The vampire went down with a surprised cry, and before he had a chance to react or protect himself, Mike was on top of him and hit every inch of his body that was within his reach, each punch followed by a gasped-out word.

"Getting—rid—of– it? Can—you—even—hear—yourself? I—am—going—to—kill—"

He was haled away by Donna before he could finish.

"What the hell is going on in here? I can't even go for a five-minute coffee break without you two tearing each other to pieces?"

"Get out of the way, Donna", Mike growled. There was a bright, unnatural glint in his eyes.

"No", she gave back, stepping closer. "You need to get yourself under control right. Now." Mike clenched his jaw. "Rachel didn't risk everything when she put that spell on you only for you to snap and kill your closest friend."

"He'd deserve it", Mike said quietly, still tense, still prepared to jump back into the fight.

"Back away, wolfy."

His lips curled up into a sarcastic smile. "Or what?"

Donna raised her brows, taking another step in his direction. "I'm going to make this really easy for you: Go through me or walk away."

"You don't even know who's at fault here!"

"And as of right now, I don't give a shit, you're not touching him."

They were standing so close to each other now that their noses were almost touching. Mike's furious stare was answered by the unwavering look in Donna's eyes. Harvey was still on the ground, fighting his instinct to get involved and beat Mike to a pulp for threatening Donna. But he knew she wouldn't appreciate it, so he stayed perfectly still, not daring to move a muscle.

When Mike took a huge breath and broke eye contact, it was clear who'd won. The glint in his eyes faded away like a blown-out candle.

"Walk away, Mike", Donna repeated calmly. The tone of her voce didn't leave room for argument. Mike's eyes found Harvey's as he backed away, now almost at the door.

"Fuck you, Harvey", he spat. The words were meant to hurt just like the punches had, and as Harvey watched his protegee walk away, he realised they did.

"What did you do?", Donna demanded to know the second Mike had disappeared around the corner. She helped Harvey up and eyed him suspiciously.

"What makes you think I did anything?"

"Cut the bullshit, Harvey."

"I may have reacted a bit… harsh to the news he had."

"Okay, meaning you were brutal." She sighed. "What kind of news?"

"Rachel's got a bun in her oven."

"Do you want to be hit over the head again?!"

"Umm, no?"

"Then rephrase what you just said, asshole."

Harvey rolled his eyes and reached for his handkerchief to wipe the blood off his face. "Fine. She's pregnant."

"And why would revealing that to you result in Mike beating the shit out of you?"

"Okay, he did not beat the shit out of me. I could've taken him if I wanted to."

Donna threw him a mocking glance.

"Wait a minute. You're not surprised Rachel is pregnant."

"No, I'm not."

Harvey's jaw almost dropped. "You knew?!"

"Of course I knew, and so should you have. You're a goddamn vampire Harvey, are you telling me you can't hear a second heartbeat for over a month?"

"There was no second heartbeat."

"Like hell there wasn't. You're just too ignorant and busy with yourself to notice."

"So, first Mike comes in here to piss me off and now you join him to call me a dick?"

"No, I came in here to save your ass, although apparently you don't deserve it."

"Great. Anything else?"

"Yeah, I wanna know what you said to him."

"Oh for god's sake, Donna, I told him we either have to get Rachel out of town as soon as possible, or we have to get rid of the thing she's carrying."

Donna closed her eyes. "You can't be serious."

"Why not?", Harvey shot back, extremely annoyed by everyone coming at him the second he opened his mouth. "You know I'm right. If Neil hears our ally is with child, how long do you think it'll take him to come back into town to kill both her and the baby? She won't survive here! I just—"
He took a deep breath. "She should be safe."

Donna crooked her head to the side. "Harvey. I know you want to protect her. I know this is your spectaculary crappy way of showing that you care about Mike and Rachel, and that you're worried. But Mike doesn't know that. He's going to be a father, and he's all over the place right now. He doesn't need your attacks, he needs you to be there for him."

Harvey huffed. "You know I suck in that department."

"Well, time to grow up. He needs you right now." She bobbed her head in the direction of the door. "Go after him and apologise. Buy him a beer. Tell him to name the kid Harvey if it's a boy. Or even if it's a girl, we're living in modern times after all."

His lips involuntarily curled up into a smile.

"Just… be there. It's not easy to bring a child into the world when you're at the brink of war."
Their eyes met the second the words left her mouth. Donna thought of them, of their squeals; their smiles; their screams. She saw the same range of emotions reflecting in his eyes.

"I know", he said quietly. "That's why I said what I said. I can't— We can't— "

"Hey. I get it", Donna cut in gently. Her voice felt like it reached out to touch him; to soothe him, and for a small moment he gave himself the luxury of believing it was. He swallowed against the lump in his throat. "We can't be responsible for something like that again."

"We'll do better this time, okay?"

Harvey nodded.
"And you know what you have to do next, after talking to Mike."

He sighed. "Jessica."

"Jessica", Donna said with a sympathetic shrug. "It's time to start mending the fences. We have a little someone to take care of from now on, there's no time for pettiness and ego."

Harvey knew she was right. He hated that she was always right.

.

Rachel groaned, trying to breathe in and out evenly through her mouth. She was so goddamn sick of feeling nauseous every waking minute. Her hand played with the tip of her pen as her eyes narrowed down on the piece of paper in front of her.

"Will you give me a break?", she whispered, knowing full well the life growing inside her stomach could not do anything about it. "I have work to do."

"You know, back in my day we had this amazing herbal tea that was said to cure every woman of morning sickness."

Rachel's head jerked up, taking in her best friend standing in the entrance of her office. "How did you—"

"I'm Donna." The redhead smiled. "I know."
She settled into the free chair across the table. "And like I told Harvey, it is kinda hard for a vampire to overhear the second heartbeat every time you come into a room."

"So Harvey knew, too?"

"No", Donna chuckled. "Mike told him and he was a complete dick about it."

"Really? I am shocked. That is so unlike him", Rachel gave back dryly. Donna hesitated for a beat and her friend's brows furrowed in confusion. "What?"

"Just— cut him some slack if you can, okay?"

"Because…?"

"Because in his own twisted way, he's trying to keep you safe. He might say some insensitive shit, but only because he's worried out of his mind that something could happened to you or the baby."

Rachel eyed her curiously. "Care to share where that protectiveness is coming from?"

"Not really", Donna's smile was agonised now. "Let's just say we've had our fair share of bad memories surrounding this topic and we're not looking forward to adding a set of new ones to the pile."

"We?"

"We."

"Donna…"

"Look, Rachel, I'm not saying you're not allowed to tell him to shove his comments where the sun doesn't shine, I'm just asking you to try and keep in mind where he's coming from."

Rachel tried to meet her eyes, but Donna avoided her stare, focusing on the stack of papers between them. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she really didn't want to delve deeper into the topic, but Rachel knew there was more to the story. With Donna, there always was. But despite her curiosity, Rachel wouldn't pressure her into sharing it. It was none of her business.
"Okay", she agreed, and that finally caused Donna to look at her again. "I promise."

"Good", Donna said quietly. "I have one more thing to ask of you."

"Anything."

She slid a piece of paper across the table into Rachel's hand, gently tugging it before letting go. The lawyer unfolded it and frowned. "But that's—"

"I know. Just", Donna swallowed. "Be there on time, okay?"

Rachel nodded, giving Donna a warm smile. "We will."

Donna stood up in a hasty movement and was already on her way out of the office when she came to an equally sudden halt, her fingers tapping against the doorframe in an uneven rhythm. "Congrats, Rachel", she whispered, and although Rachel couldn't see her face, she could hear that she was crying. "I'm so happy for you."

In the next moment, she was gone.

Rachel was still staring at the spot Donna had disappeared from when Mike walked past.
"Hey. What was that all about?", he gently interrupted her thoughts, moving through the small room with a couple of steps and pressing a soft kiss on her temple.

"We talked about the pregnancy. Something's not right."

"I know", Mike murmured. Rachel's eyes moved up to meet his. "I talked to Harvey this morning, and again just now", he explained. "At first, he reacted like the biggest asshole, but then he came into my office to apologise."

Rachel raised her brows. "He apologised?"

Mike nodded. "You should've seen him. He offered to give me the day off, asked me if I wanted to grab a beer with him or if we need anything. I'm pretty sure at some point he said he'd build us a crib."

"A crib?"

"Uh-huh." Mike bit the inside of his cheek. "Rach, he was trembling. He said he'd do anything to keep us safe, no matter what lengths he'd have to go through."

"That's dramatic, even for him."

"And now I come in here and see Donna practically fleeing your office with tears in her eyes. Why are they so affected by this?"

"I don't know", Rachel replied honestly, relaxing when she felt his fingertips drawing random but comforting patterns across her neck and shoulders. She leaned back and closed her eyes, head resting against his warm chest. "Something bad happened, that's for sure. And they definitely don't want to talk about it."

"We could make them."

"No." Rachel released herself from his grip to stand up and face him with stern eyes. "We are going to respect their wishes, understood?"

He sighed but agreed right away. "Fine. You're right."

"Of course I am", she grinned, crooking up a brow and leaning forward to kiss him. "Donna asked us to meet her tonight", she added when they broke apart again.

"I know." It was his turn to grin now, seeing the surprise on Rachel's face. "Harvey's meeting us there, too."

"Why?", she asked suspiciously. "What do you know that I don't?"

"Nothing", he shrugged. "Guess we'll have to wait till tonight to find out."

"Am I interrupting?"

Both lawyers flinched lightly when they heard Louis' voice.

"I'm sorry, I can see you were having a moment."

Rachel removed her hands from Mike's chest and turned towards her boss. "That's alright, Louis. What can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering if you got the work for the Evans case done."

Her face fell.

"Yeah."

Fuck.

"Yeah, I'm— I have the files right here, hang on— "

She started fumbling through the stack of papers. The document she'd been working on earlier fell off the table. "Shit, hold on."

"Rach", Mike murmured and put his hand on her arm.

"No, it's fine, I swear I finished it yesterday, I can't believe I forgot to give them to you and now I don't even know where the hell I put them and—let me go", she snapped and yanked her arm away.

"Honey take a breath."

"I don't need to take a breath, I need to get the fucking— " She took a breath, only now noticing the tears running down her cheeks.

"Why are you crying?", Louis asked, utterly confused by the way this conversation was unfolding. "You don't need to—Mike why is she crying?"

"Gimme a damn minute Louis! Rachel, could you please…"

"Don't touch me, Mike, I need to find these files, someone get me these files right now!" Rachel was practically screaming by now. Mike was trying to catch the folders that kept tumbling off the table due to her frantic search for a set of documents she probably forgot at home.

"It's fine, Rachel, you can give them to me later."

"NO." Rachel was in hysterics now. "I'm giving you the files now."

"But… you don't have them."

"I know", she shrieked.

Louis' eyes widened comically. "O…kay?"

"Rach, can we please just tell him before you start floating stuff around again?"

"That was all your fault, you should've done the dishes properly like I've told you a million times before!"

"I forgot one cup."

"My favourite cup, which is now a broken piece of shit thanks to you."

"If I remember correctly, you threw it against the wall with your witchy mojo."

"It was still your fault!"

"Guys", Louis said, exhausted. "What the fuck?"

Rachel breathed in, counted to five and breathed out again, just like the doctor told her to. She knew the mood swings were natural because her hormones were all over the place. But her mood swings put the people around her in danger, and that was something no doctor had the appropriate medicine for. She needed to keep it together if she didn't want to risk unleashing her full power onto her family during one of her outbursts.

Mike put his hand on her stomach and gave her an encouraging smile.

"I'm pregnant, Louis."

A stunned silence followed. The senior partner looked from Rachel to Mike to her stomach and back up several times. "Holy shit."

Another silence.

Then, "Rachel, this is amazing. How far are you? You've been glowing lately, I should've known. Wait, this is amazing, right?"
He observed her more carefully, a giggle bubbling out of his mouth when he saw her smile. "Who's the father?"

"I am", Mike shot back immediately, entirely unamused.

"Oh." Louis laughter died. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. We are", Mike hissed.

"Well, then you better start kissing her feet for the next five months and prove yourself worthy of it."

"Worthy of kissing her feet?"

"Damn straight. And Rachel, you better relax until the baby is born, why did you even come in today? You should be resting." His eyes narrowed down on Mike with hostility. "Why did you even let her leave the house today?!"

"Because she's not my prisoner?", Mike countered, somewhere between confusion and annoyance.

"And I want to keep working", Rachel interfered before her boss could keep throwing accusations in her fiancée's face. "I don't want you to treat me any differently. I'm sorry about forgetting the files. You'll have them on your desk first thing in the morning."

"But…"

"Louis, this is what I want, and I need you to accept it."

He sighed. "Fine. Fine. Am I still allowed to hug you?"

An honest smile broke out of her lips. "Always, Louis."

"Oh, thank god", he choked out and wrapped his arms around her.

"Alright, don't crush her", Mike said with an eyeroll.

Louis begrudgingly let her go and took her hands in his. "You don't need to worry about a thing, okay? I'll take care of everything."
He practically ran out of the room, mumbling about babyproofing the firm, providing soothing music and buying safe car seats.

Mike huffed. "Jesus. Everyone around us is fucking insane."

"I wouldn't want it any other way", Rachel chuckled. "It makes me less nervous of the fact that I have an actual life growing somewhere inside of me right this second."

She ordered the stack of papers to fly back onto her desk in a proper order with a tired wave of her hand and sat back down. "And now, I'm really looking forward to go back to my absolutely mundane work."

"Hey", Mike said softly and knelt down beside her, moving his thumb over the back of her hand. "I know you wanted to wait until were more secure before we start a family, but…" He cut himself off and looked up at her, misty eyed and with the brightest smile on his face. "We are going to be just fine, okay?"

"Damn it", Rachel croaked, wiping a tear from her right eye.

"What?"

"You made me cry again, you son of a bitch."

Mike barked out a laugh and leaned closer to her face. "You have got to stop cursing in front of our child", he mumbled against her lips.

.

"You've heard."

Harvey stopped dead in his tracks. He wasn't even halfway through the door yet and already regretting even coming here. Damn Donna for the mending fences bullshit. Damn Mike for the "I want everyone to be there" bullshit. Why couldn't he be lying on a beach somewhere in brazil right now?

"Heard what?", he replied coldly, pushing the door fully open and moving closer to her desk.

"About Rachel", Jessica said without looking up from her files.

"She told you?"

"She didn't need to tell me, there has been a— "

"—don't say second heartbeat—"

"—second heartbeat for about a month now."

"Oh my god", Harvey groaned.

"You didn't hear it?", she asked mockingly.

"You know damn well I didn't."

"Of course I do. You would've waltzed in here the second you found out."

"Well, I'm here now."

"My point exactly." She still didn't bother taking her eyes off the files, her entire presence raying superiority in such a palpable way it made his blood boil.

"I didn't come in here to talk about Rachel."

"Yes, you did", she argued calmly. "At least partly. The other part deals with you still struggling to forgive me."

"Jessica?"

"Yes Harvey?"

"Fucking look at me."

Her hand froze around the pen she was holding. "You better watch you tone", she said, still calm, but with that certain edge in her voice. Their eyes met.

"You better start treating me with respect and not like I am your lapdog", he snapped back. His voice was pure ice.

"Respect has to be earned. And during the past couple of months you've given me no indication that you were willing to move, or even look, past your anger."

"You know what, Jessica? I came into this office to apologise for my behaviour and tell you I was ready to move past this like Donna told me to. I was ready to get over it and tell you to join the rest of us tonight like Mike told me to. But now that I'm here and see once again that you'll never stop treating me like I'm lesser than you, I wonder why I should even try."

Jessica raised her brows. "Am I supposed to answer that?"

Harvey let out a cold chuckle. "No. Don't bother wasting your precious time and energy on me." He clenched his jaw, trying to swallow down the burning flash of hurt he felt inside. "I've forgiven you for everything. I've forgiven you for turning Donna. I've forgiven you for each time you made a choice about my life without asking for my permission. I've forgiven you for all the times you belittled me. But this? How can you even sit there, expecting me to just move along with our lives like nothing happened? You didn't even apologise."

There was a shift in her eyes, an emotion close to guilt strolling over her face, but he ignored it. He was done caring about her feelings; she'd never given a shit about his feelings, either. "You watched me cling to this piece of paper for decades, holding onto it like a goddamn moron, and you still didn't tell me it wasn't worth shit; that I was holding onto something that held no meaning whatsoever; that I was holding on to nothing. Do you have any idea what that feels like? Finding out you betrayed me like this, that you did this to me, and then you don't even think about apologising for it?"

Jessica rose from her chair, her fingertips resting on the table for more support. The empathy was now evidently written all over her face. Harvey wished he could hurt her like she'd hurt him, but he knew from past experience that it wasn't possible.

"Harvey…"

"No, don't. I don't wanna hear it. I'm done." He swallowed down his sadness, determent to not give her the satisfaction of seeing the tears in his eyes. "I'm fucking done."

Her papers fluttered lightly in the breeze he caused when he disappeared.

Jessica was still staring at the spot he'd been before he left several minutes later.

.

The sun had already set when Donna finally realised what was wrong. Harvey had come back from Jessica's office hours ago, shutting Donna out completely, grumbling something about how he tried, and it wasn't gonna happen. Donna knew better than to try and talk him out of his stubbornness when he was in that mood, but it wasn't before he left the office to meet up with Mike and Rachel without even shooting her so much as a glance when it clicked.

She waited until he was inside the elevator before hurrying to Jessica's office, barging in without knocking. Jessica was seated on her couch, a glass of scotch in hand and seemingly deep in thought.

"You're making a mistake", Donna blurted out, her heart pounding with both anxiety and determination.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, you're making a mistake."

"I suggest you stay out of it, Donna." Jessica took a sip from her scotch, eyeing her like a scolding mother. "This is between me and Harvey."

"No. It's not. This is between all three of us. Because you brought me into it by writing the letter", Donna disagreed matter-of-factly.

Jessica let out a deep sigh. "That goddamn letter."

"I'm not here to tell you what to do, or to act like I know better than you do; I don't."

"Then why are you here?"

"I'm here to say what he won't: His anger is valid. Because for once, this isn't his mistake. It's yours."

Jessica's eyes were glued to her. Donna tried not to be scared, knowing she needed to get it all out before it was too late. She owed him that much.

She owed him to at least try.

"Despite everything he's done wrong and every time he caused us problems, this is on you. And he deserves to have you acknowledge that. You're in the wrong here, Jessica", she said. The waver in her voice didn't go unnoticed by the managing partner. "By writing that letter you didn't just alter your relationship between yourself and Harvey, you altered his relationship with me as well. And it doesn't matter if you intended for that to happen or not. That night you took the risk that this might blow up in your face, and now that it has it's time to own up to it. Because you altered these relationships in a way that can never be changed back. He held that letter close by for years, remembering me through words I never wrote. And I can feel it when he looks at me."

Donna cleared her throat. No matter how many times she said it out loud, it still hurt how much that letter meant to him. How it comforted him more than she ever could.

Jessica stayed quiet, like she didn't know what to say.

"You're in the wrong here", Donna repeated, pushing past her nervousness once again. "Not him. And if you don't start making it up to him, sooner or later you're gonna lose him for good. You keep telling him to fix his messes and put our family above his pride; now I'm now asking you to do the same thing. He deserves it."

The ticking clock on the wall was the only noise in the room after Donna had stopped talking. She stood in the office like a soldier, waiting for her next command. She counted the seconds.

Seven, eight, nine…

Jessica finished her glass.

Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen…

She put the glass down on the table and flattened her dress while standing up from the couch.

Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three…

Jessica gave Donna a small smile and nudged her shoulder.

"Are we going or what?"

Donna smiled back. "Yeah. Yeah, let's go."

.

Mike's hands were shaking. The little square box was moving against his thigh with every twitch of his leg.

"Stop pacing", Louis ordered him from the other side of the room.

"Don't tell me to stop pacing, how about you stop lighting every single candle in the entire fucking house!"

"Are you attacking me for trying to make your proposal more romantic?"

"I'm trying to keep you from burning this house to the ground."

Louis opened his mouth to throw something back at him when they were interrupted by Harvey noisily entering the house through the front door. "Hey dickheads, what'd I miss?"

His eyes drifted through the room and stopped at the sight of Mike, who was on his best way of sweating through his shirt. "Jesus, you look like you're shitting your pants."

"I'm not", Mike growled.

"He is", said Louis at the same time.

"Don't you think that's enough candles, it's like a hundred degrees in here."

"That's what I've been saying!"

"Fine." Louis angrily threw the lighter on the counter. "Just don't come crying back to me when Rachel will be entirely unimpressed by your shitty circle of rose petals."

"When will she be here?", Harvey asked.

"Any moment now. I told her I was running late, so I don't think she suspects anything. What about Donna and Jessica?"

Harvey shrugged, taking off his suit jacket and moving over to the kitchen to get himself a blood bag. "Don't know about Donna, but I'm sure she'll be here on time. And Jessica's not coming."

"Oh." Mike looked like he wanted to say more; Louis unsubtlety stepped on his foot.

"Yeah", Harvey simply said. "Do you have the ring ready?"

Mike nodded and tapped against the outside of his right pocket.

"Then we're all set." Louis clapped his hands together and leaned against the table. "Unless you changed your mind and will finally tell me what the heck we're doing in his house."

Mike's eyes immediately darted over to his boss, who'd tensed up and refused to meet anyone's stares. "Nope", Mike answered after a beat. His eyes were still glued to Harvey. "It'll make more sense once Donna's here."

As if she could've heard him, the door opened, and Donna stepped over the threshold, followed by Jessica. Harvey swallowed down a scoff at the sight of them, united like that, and threw them a dirty glance. Of course they came together. Of course Donna would choose to stick to Jessica instead of him.

Mike's eyes lit up at the sight of them. "You came", he exclaimed with excitement. Donna let him kiss her cheek and threw him a wink. Jessica was looking at Harvey when she answered. "I wouldn't miss this for the world."

This time, Harvey did let out the scoff and went back to drinking his blood.

"Alright, I see there's no tension at all between any of us", Mike quipped.

"We're all here. That's as close to harmony as you'll ever get, hun." Donna and Mike exchanged warm, knowing smiles.

Harvey was already two seconds from scoffing again. "Harmony my ass", he muttered underneath his breath and swapped the empty blood bag for a full whiskey bottle. All eyes settled on him and he raised his brows, taking a long, provocative swig straight out of the bottle.

"Don't be an ass, Harvey", Mike said sternly.

"I'm sorry, have you met me?"

Mike sighed. "Just… Don't mess this up for me, okay? This is important to me, and I didn't ask you to be here so you could be a dick about it."

Harvey took another sip from the bottle and handed it over to his friend. "I won't. I'll behave myself, wolfy, I promise."

"Stop calling me wolfy and we're good."

Harvey shot him a grin. "Not gonna happen."

"Asshole."

"Yep."

Donna put a strand of hair behind her ear and shushed them. "She just got out of a cab, you guys have ten seconds to get in place."

They all shuffled around, getting in position, with Jessica, Harvey, Donna and Louis standing around the circle of rose petals on the floor and facing the door, while Mike disappeared behind the double wing door separating the living room from the kitchen.

"The heck is he going?", Harvey hissed in Donna's direction.

"He wants her to come inside first before he'll walk into the room."

Harvey rolled his eyes. "You've gotta be shitting me."

"He's doing it for the dramatic flair, leave him be."

Jessica chuckled.

"It was my idea, actually", Louis explained proudly.

"Of course it was", Harvey said with a shake of his head.

Despite his pretend annoyance, he couldn't help but get infected by the giddy vibe that went through the room when the main door opened and Rachel appeared in the frame, her dark silhouette a sharp contrast to the dim, warm candlelight coming from the living room.

"Donna?"

A pause.

Then, with more uncertainty, "Mike?"

Rachel took a few cautious steps into the house, but her posture changed when she saw the four people waiting for her in the decorated living room. The tension ebbed away and made room for confusion.

"What's going on here, guys? What is this?"

Harvey raised his brows. "What does it look like?"

"It looks like you assaulted both a rose garden and a candle store", Rachel countered dryly. Donna snickered.

"That's my girl", Mike's voice cut in from outside the room. He came around the corner, looking at Rachel like she was the only person in the entire universe. Like she was the only one that mattered. "Ever the romantic."

"Mike", Rachel said softly. "Why are you—you already did it months ago. I already said yes."

"I know", he smiled, closing the distance between them by meeting her halfway, stepping into the circle of roses and reaching out his hand. It didn't take her more than a second to intertwine their fingers and join him where he stood. They were so in love it was almost gross, Donna thought.

"But it was in the heat of the moment, without any preparation." He chuckled. "I didn't even get you a ring. So let me try it again. Properly this time."

Rachel's gaze drifted to Louis, Jessica, Donna and Harvey, standing behind Mike, looking somewhere between embarrassed and touched. Louis was already in tears before Mike had gotten down on his knee.

"This is incredibly cheesy", Rachel said before she could help herself.

"Rach", Mike whined. "Can you save the sarcasm until after I'm done please?"

She bit her lip, an amused spark in her eyes. "Okay."

Donna observed her best friend throughout the entirety of Mike's proposal. Watched her tear up when he explained how deeply he loved her, heard her bubbly laughter when he talked about their crazy life and how nobody except the four other people in this room would ever believe them.

Donna drank in even the smallest bits of Rachel's reaction, her heart thumping with happiness, completely sucking into the situation. That was until she felt Harvey's eyes on her and made the mistake of looking at him. Mike's next words cut through her while her eyes were trapped in the stare of the man next to her.

"We went through some heavy shit together. When we met, I was in a dark place. Darker than I'd realised. I'd basically given up on ever finding happiness, on ever finding a life worth fighting for. But you didn't care, you saw past that, past what I've done, and you saved me. You saved me back then and you've kept saving me every single day since." Mike swallowed before he continued, voice hoarse with emotion. "I can't imagine where I would be today without you, and I don't want to. I want you right where you are, by my side, no matter what will stand in our way. We'll be fine as longs as we're going through it together. It's you and me, no matter what."

Donna felt like she was frozen in time. Not moving, not even blinking.

It's you and me.

Harvey seemed absolutely shell-shocked.

No matter what.

There was so much going through Donna's head right now, her own engagement and how detached it had felt compared to the way Rachel and Mike obviously felt; Stephen's reaction when he had met Harvey for the first time; and his face. Harvey's face. The way he had looked at her then. It was so different from the way he was looking at her now, like he was seeing her, really seeing her, for the first time in a long time.

Mike's voice cut in between their silence while they still couldn't take their eyes off each other, almost hypnotised by it and themselves. "And I wanted to make sure you've heard it from me at least once, right here, surrounded by our family." Rachel's eyes lit up at the last word and she nudged Mike's hand, a smile breaking out of her lips.

"Because we both know I'll be insufferable and ill-tempered and a complete idiot most of the time, but that doesn't mean that I love or appreciate you any less. You're the driving force behind this relationship just as much as you're the driving force behind me. And now, before my knees give out on me completely because this floor is uncomfortable as fuck, I want to ask you, Rachel Elizabeth Zane, if you'd do me the absolute honour and marry me?"

Hearing Mike say Rachel's full name snapped Donna out of her trance and she broke the eye contact with Harvey just in time to see her best friend grab her fiancée to pull him up and into a kiss.

"Yes", she laughed when they broke apart for a second. "Yes I'll marry you, Mike."

The four others broke into cheers, and in Louis' case cat whistles, when the couple in front of them kissed again.

"Alright, alright, enough with the tongue action, there are other people present", Harvey teased after Mike and Rachel had been making out for a solid minute. Rachel bit her lip and watched Mike slip the ring on her finger, then turned around with glowing eyes and flushed cheeks. She pulled Harvey in a hug that startled everyone, most of all Harvey himself.

"Shut up, Harvey", Rachel said nonchalantly when she let him go and turned to Donna, hugging her as well.

"I'm so proud of you", Donna whispered into her ear, overcome with emotion.

"Thank you, Donna."

"Oh, don't thank me yet, I still have something up my sleeve."

The witch drew back and eyed her suspiciously. "What?"

Donna smirked at her. "Are you sure you wanna know?"

"Stop teasing", Rachel scolded her, fist bumping lightly against Donna's shoulder.

"Fine, you know this is my cousin's former house, right?"

"Yeah."

"And you know that technically, you own it already, right?"

"Yes, that's hard to forget."

"I want you to have it. Really have it."

Rachel's face fell in surprise. "Donna… no, this is your family's home."

Donna firmly shook her head. "I don't want it. I have no use for it, but you do. You and Mike, you can start your family here."

"But— "

"Just consider this an early wedding present." Donna had tried to keep her voice as low as possible, but looking past Rachel over her left shoulder, she saw Mike and Harvey listening to their conversation, Mike's hand still on Harvey's shoulder post-embrace.

"You're giving us this house as a present?", Mike asked astounded.

Something hard went over Harvey's face, so fast that no one except Donna could see it.

"I am", she said, giving Mike a warm smile. "It's already Rachel's on paper, anyway, so why shouldn't you two move in and fill this place with some much needed light? It's been dead too long."

Rachel still seemed uncomfortable accepting such a monumental gift. "I don't know what to say."

"I do", Mike exclaimed, coming up behind her to sneak his arms around her, his head resting on her shoulder. "We'll take it."

Donna grinned, holding up the keys and urging Rachel to open up her palm. The women's eyes met. "Take it. It's meant to be yours."

Rachel's brows furrowed, but she allowed Donna to drop the keychain into her stretched out hand. Her fingers clenched around the cold metal as she whispered a, "Thank you", in Donna's direction. Mike whirled her around and picked her up in the next second.

"We have a house", he called out in excitement, drowning her giggling protest to let her back down. "This is our freaking house now, babe!"

"This present is going to be impossible to top", Louis said, coming up next to Donna and wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Just get Mike a nice dog basket to sleep in and he'll be 100% content", Donna gave back.

Louis glanced at her from the corner of his eye. When she met his eyes, she couldn't help the laughter escaping her lips. Louis immediately joined in.

.

"Do you have a minute?"

Harvey didn't take his eyes off Mike and Rachel, swirling around in their godforsaken circle of rose petals, surrounded by candle light like they came straight out of the cheesiest fucking rom-com he'd ever seen. Their happiness was disgustingly endearing.

"I'm immortal", he answered Jessica's question. "I have more time than I'd like."

Jessica shook her head in amusement. "Fine, let me rephrase: Do you have a minute to listen to what I have to say?"

"What do you want, Jessica?" He still refused to look at her, but he was so tired. Tired of this fight. Tired of feeling betrayed. Jessica fell silent for a moment, pushing a glass of champagne into his hand. He accepted it begrudgingly and brought it to his lips.

"I'm sorry."

Harvey choked on his champagne. "You're what?"

"There's champagne coming out of your nose", Jessica commented dryly. Harvey wiped his face, still coughing. "Jessica— "

"I'm sorry", she repeated. "I shouldn't have written the letter. I shouldn't have kept it from you for all these years. It was my fault, and I shouldn't have been so defensive about it."

Harvey was looking at her now, with a mixture of suspicion and confusion.

"I know I can be hard on you, lecture you about your mistakes, or urging you to get over yourself and do better. I've always felt like that's my job; my responsibility."

"I'm a grown ass man, Jessica", he snapped.

To his surprise, there was no heat in her answer. "I know. I know that. And I never meant to belittle you, so I apologise if you ever thought I did. Back when Donna was gone and I needed to keep you save, no lengths I had to go through seemed unjustified if it meant that we'd survive. But looking back now, I've realised that it was selfish, and it was unforgivable to do this to both you and Donna. And for that, I am sorry."

Harvey was too stunned to say anything. In all these years, all these centuries they'd spent together, she had never apologised to him for any of her mistakes. Never.

"I have never asked you for anything, Harvey", Jessica said. She wasn't looking at him anymore, eyes fixed on Donna and Louis laughing at the other side of the room. "And if I'd be a more decent person I wouldn't ask you for this, either. But seeing this", she gesticulated towards Mike and Rachel, still radiating nothing but pure bliss, now joining Louis and Donna to ask what they were laughing at, "and not only observing it, but being part of it; it changes things. Being a family makes us vulnerable, there's no way around it, but it also gives us something to fight for except each other."

"You're usually not so fast to throw the word family around. We've known these three for less than six months."

"I'm not throwing it around. I'm well aware that we've met and lost countless people over the decades, and we did spend a longer time with a lot of them without considering them family. But this is different."

He knew she was right, he was merely surprised she felt the same way about it that he did. "Different how?"

Jessica teared his eyes away from the group to meet Harvey's stare again. A small smile crept up on her lips. "It feels like it did back then, when we met Donna. And if I learned one thing since then, it's that you don't let that feeling go when you can help it."

Harvey flinched. He didn't want that set of memories in his conscious right now. "What— umm, what did you want to ask of me?"

"I'm asking for your forgiveness. I want us to be us again because…" Her voice trailed off while she set down her glass on the table next to her. "Because I don't know who we are without each other. And I don't want to find out. Not having your trust distracts me, and it upsets me even more. So even if I don't deserve your forgiveness, I'm asking for it anyway, because I need it."

Forgiveness. He hated that word. It was too loaded for three simple syllables.

"I need to get some air", he said.

"Harvey…"

"Don't." He shook his head and met her eyes with as much clarity as he could. "I can't just flip a switch and it's all forgiven and forgotten. I need time. And you need to give me that time."

He placed one of his hands on her upper arm and squeezed it lightly. "We'll be okay. We always are."
He could see that it wasn't the answer she was looking for, but she relented after a few tense seconds. "Alright. But we'll be okay?"

He nodded. "We'll be okay." He emptied his glass. "I'll be outside if you need me."

Harvey felt Donnas eyes following his movements when he walked away, quickly slipping through the backdoor.

.

Donna fought with herself for five minutes before she gave into the urge of following him outside. She just wanted to make sure he was okay after his talk with Jessica. At least that's what she told herself when she pushed open the backdoor and stepped onto the terrace. Nothing really resembled what it'd looked like over a century ago, but the view was still the same.

On her right, warm, orange light poured out of the window and flooded onto the wooden ground, providing the only source of light on the otherwise pitch-black porch.
To her left, there was a small glimmer in the darkness. Harvey was sitting on a porch swing, his feet lightly pushing against the wood in a steady rhythm, slowly rocking it back and forth. "I was wondering how long it would take you to check up on me."

She heard the lightness in his voice, but knew it was fake. "And apparently I was right to do so. You're smoking?"

His lips twitched when he offered the package to her. "Desperate times."

"Desperate measures", she completed his thoughts before placing the cigarette between her lips. He got up and closed the distance between them.

"Exactly." A flash of orange, brighter than the light coming from inside the house, coloured his face in when he flicked the lighter to ignite her cigarette. For a split second, she could see every detail of his face, his hard features softened by the smirk playing around his lips. She took a drag from her cigarette and inhaled deeply, trying not to think of fireworks.

She sat down on the porch swing; he hesitated for just a moment too long before he joined her, careful to leave just enough room between them so that they wouldn't touch.

"So, they'll get the house", he said after a while, putting out his cigarette and lighting himself another one right away.

"Yeah. I wouldn't know what to do with it, anyway."

"You could move in."

She laughed. "Right. Me and whose army?"

He exhaled pensively, observing the smoke disappearing in the darkness. "I'm sure you'd find someone."

Donna didn't know how to answer that, so she didn't. "The point is, I couldn't think of a better usage for this house if I tried. It feels natural to give it to her. Plus, they have a baby on the way, they could use the room appropriately."

"Can't argue with that", he agreed. "But still, it feels weird to be back here. It's so different, yet the feeling is the same."

"And there you have the answer to why I'd never live here."

The look he gave her was fleeting, almost shy but understanding all the same. "It'll work out this time."

"How can you be sure?"

"I'm not", he said with a small smile. "But I know these two can handle themselves. They may be grossly in love, but they're not stupid."

"Can you believe they're engaged?", she chuckled.

"Not really. Then again, I couldn't believe it when you got engaged, either."

There was that fake lightness again. Donna hated it. "That wasn't the same", she said harshly.

"Why not?"

"When I was engaged…", she licked her lips and took a drag of her cigarette. His gaze was making her uncomfortable. "Nothing about it felt like this. Like the way they look at each other. I knew it wasn't right, even back then, but I never wanted to fully admit it to myself until today."

"Well, I hate to admit it, but what wolfy and witchy in there have, it's special. Even two people as old as we are don't come by it so often." Their eyes locked. "Hell, some people never do."

"I came by it once."

Something in his eyes changed, pushing her to say the next thing she thought of instead of holding it back. "I think… I felt it once, too."

The sudden tension was agonisingly consuming. Harvey's cigarette hung forgotten between his index and middle finger as he looked at her, his stare unwavering and too intense for her to ignore. Donna was desperate to change the mood, desperate to talk about anything other than what she had just impulsively admitted out loud, desperate to keep herself from leaning forward and doing something monumentally stupid.

She took another deep pull on her cigarette instead, cringing when she exhaled. "Those are lights", she grumbled, eyes narrowing down on the cigarette package laying in between them.

He scoffed. "Yeah well, next time you can get your own damn cigarettes if mine aren't good enough for you", he shot back, more teasing than serious.

She rose from her seat and put the butt out in the ashtray next to the door. "I'm going back inside. Are you coming?"

He gestured to his still lit cigarette end. "I'll be there in a minute."

Donna gave him a small smile and shut the door behind her. Harvey leaned back, head bumping against the cold wall, and allowed himself to relax. He heard her joining the others in the living room, joking about Harvey having to take a minute because he'd been too overwhelmed with emotions.

"Fuck off", he muttered under his breath, knowing she was eavesdropping for his reaction. Laughter erupted through the room and Donna quickly joined in.

Harvey took a final, long drag of his cigarette and closed his eyes, slowly letting the smoke escape his parted mouth while he listened to the sound of her laugh and forced himself to take this moment and stay in it.

Things were fine.

Maybe for once, he could just let them be.

.


I can barely keep my eyes open right now since it's past 4am, so forgive me if I've missed any typos/spelling errors etc.

So, Donna got engaged, Rachel is pregnant, we've seen Harvey and Neil come face to face for the first time in this fic, I've finally brought Louis back into the mix and machel are the cheesiest couple to ever walk the earth. I think we can blame it on me missing them, because I have no other excuse. let's just call this chapter the trope chapter ok? ok.

Next chapter is the one I've been writing towards since I started this fic. It's the whole reason I started this fic. No pressure or anything, right?

Until then, I'm gonna go to sleep now. thank god this is finally up. thank you for being so patient with me. please let me know your thoughts x