Zacharias
Fight the past with the arms one uses against the unknown future,
Steal away the life of the hunted at the expense of the essence of the hunt,
And one will find that the identity is as unchanging as the past itself,
And that without the soul, the hunt will die before its true end.
Chapter 5
Mysidia.
It caught the sun's light as greedily as though it were dependent upon it for nourishment. It was a little, quaint sight… a sight I once would have hailed as my home, and yet which now seemed to me more foreign than the windblown wreckage that had once called itself the castle of Damcyan. Foreign… perhaps only because of whom I had become, but no. No, there was something else. Something deeper.
Pity flooded me as I thought about them in their blissful ignorance of the trials and tortures of the outside world. The death and bloodshed that had claimed my mentor, and the days and nights I spent in the mountains, gathering my strength, testing my skills… that was the reality of life, not the glorified daydream of peace that Mysidian children learned about. This was a time of strife, conflict… a time of war.
I had learned much about war. I had learned about the true state of affairs. Over the fortnight, I had become a recluse, but now there was nothing left from which I felt the need to hide. I was one with the fury controlling the hand that clutched my spear. And now, I knew everything.
Golbez was on the move.
I had watched the progress of his Red Wings, seen them flying overhead toward Fabul. Had I not been occupied by the pressures of my training, I might have gone to fight him. But no matter how many of the Crystals the fiend managed to gather, he would face death at my hands… even if I needed to enlist some aid to do so.
Now there was only one left. I had not yet seen any airships departing for Toroia, though I knew that it wouldn't be long before Golbez sent his army to claim the Crystal of Earth. However, the pause in the action that I needed was upon me, and I would do nothing that would waste it. For I had hunted down the man Kain held in such high esteem, and learned of the shipwreck and the direction in which the currents had sent him. And I had followed him here, to the great Mount Ordeals, only to find the remnants of his triumph. And now, I gazed from the summit to the little village, merely a speck in the distance, where I would find him.
The Paladin.
To say that I was in need of him would have been an overstatement of the facts. A recluse I might have been, but not with such isolated vigour that I would turn away from the upper hand I might need to face the despicable man in dark armour. And I knew that Cecil was fighting. Cecil would fight until there was no fighting left to be done. And he had already achieved a victory here and there – the shred of cloth left behind by Golbez's Fiend of Earth was proof enough of that.
It had taken a long time, but I had learned about the forces at Golbez's command, and I now knew that where there had once been four Fiends of the elements, there were now three. I couldn't help but be impressed by Cecil's aptitude. I didn't know what powers he'd had at his command before the fight that claimed Scarmiglione, but to have them enhanced by the holy power of the Paladin would make him a formidable ally.
Or, I thought, a useful pawn.
I chuckled to myself at that thought. It would take some time to earn his trust before I could manipulate him to do what I wanted… what I needed. But then I could use him to my advantage. And I would. If he was half the warrior Kain said he was, I decided, he should be up to the task.
And then I could take Golbez's life, the same way he had taken my father's… the same way he'd almost taken mine.
Without another thought, I leapt from the summit, streaking through the air in the direction of my old hometown.
In the three weeks since I had left, even in light of everything that had happened, Mysidia hadn't changed much. I entered the village and found everything almost exactly as I remembered it – though a few of the buildings were still somewhat charred, those which had been more severely burnt had been rebuilt, and now the village looked almost as peaceful as it always had been.
With the hood of my blue-black cloak shading my eyes from the invading sunlight, I glanced around in private wonder. Everywhere I looked there were White and Black Mages hurrying this way or that. There seemed to be some measure of excitement in the atmosphere – I could only assume it was Cecil's triumphant return as Paladin. To my knowledge, it would be the first time anyone had successfully come back from Mount Ordeals alive.
I also noted, to my brief amusement, that several familiar faces I passed by on my way to the village hall didn't so much as bat an eye as I walked by them, or at least, not out of familiarity. Those who did gazed darkly at me, as if they suspected me of some horrible deed, either past or future. Not one of them recognized me as Zacharias Shade, and I smiled to myself at that thought; perhaps I truly had changed.
And then the smile vanished as I saw a white mage in a particular hurry. She had her hood raised, but I could still see beneath it a face of pale skin laden with freckles, a mop of disorganized red hair, and a dazzling pair of green eyes. She, too, looked at me as I went by, but no recognition passed through those eyes of hers; there was only a brief hint of suspicion before she carried on her way.
But I didn't let her. "Nice to see you survived, Melody."
She stopped in her tracks, not turning around, but clenching her fists. "I… I'm in a hurry."
"I can see that. I didn't know you were so industrious."
I could see her bristling, and she finally turned around, a murderous look on her face. "Look, I don't know who you think you are, and I don't know how you know my name, but don't fool yourself into thinking strangers like you can just waltz into this village and—"
"Hey, now," I said, interrupting her. "Mysidia always used to welcome strangers. What happened to educating those who wished to learn?"
"I don't know what you heard about us, but things have changed, so I suggest you get on your way and leave us be."
She turned to leave once more, but I spoke again. "Melody."
She stopped in mid-stride, sighed heavily, and turned around one last time. "What do you—"
I stared straight into her eyes. I could see that she was searching for something in my own, trying to understand why, all of a sudden, the man she was speaking to seemed so familiar. I could see her eyes probing my hair, my chin, my nose, and then again my eyes, so many times she stared deep into my eyes. And then, finally, her mouth dropped open and she stumbled a step forward.
"Zacharias…!" she whispered.
I silently nodded. "Yeah. It's me."
I couldn't say anything else before I found myself nearly falling over at the force of her embrace. I stumbled back as she wrapped her arms around me so tightly I could scarcely breathe. I caught the fragrant smell of her hair, felt the tears descending from those electric green eyes of hers onto my own cheeks, and through it all I listened as she tried to speak through the fierce sobs that shook us both.
"Zacharias! I… I thought you… we thought you… after what happened to Lord Rio, we thought we'd never… and I thought I-I'd never… Zacharias, you're here! You're home! I… I can't believe it, I thought I'd never see you again…"
And so on. I held her gently and listened patiently. I couldn't deny that I was glad to see her again. But the child that would have once gripped her with the same fierce relief as she was currently pressing into me was no longer there. The man that held her now was holding her patiently, as a father would his child after returning from a long voyage.
Finally, she let me go and stepped back a few paces, as if to get a good look at me. I didn't blame her. I had traded my blue Black Mage's robes for something darker and more aerodynamic. The garments I now wore, strapped tightly to my body so as to prevent them from resisting my passage through the wind, were as black as the darkest ebony. Where my feet had once worn boots that were heavy and clumsy, the ones that covered them now were lighter, smaller, more precise. My cloak was such a dark blue that it was almost black, made of a material so light that air simply passed through it as if through nothing at all. Strapped to my back, the point of my spear – Kain's spear – glinted in the sunlight.
But she kept staring at my face, and I knew what she was looking at. Apart from the dark, weathered look of my skin that had been a by-product of my hours of exposure to the mountain sun, the battle at Damcyan, the one that claimed my mentor, had left its marks. I had a sizeable scar that traced a line from the centre of my forehead to the top of my right cheekbone, and various other marks, smaller ones, around my chin and neck.
I spoke before she had a chance to ask about them. "You seemed to be in a hurry. You never looked so frazzled before."
She looked like she wanted to say something else, but she sighed. "Yeah, well… when Porom left I was given Priestess Springwater's apprenticeship. I've been busy."
"Porom left?"
She nodded. "She and Palom went with the Paladin, and... oh, Zacharias…" A different look crossed her face as she continued. "You should have seen him… you'd never have thought it to look at him before, but when he came back, he… he looked like a hero.Our hero."
My frown deepened. "He's left already?"
"Yes, just yesterday. If only you'd—"
"Where did he go?" I asked, cutting her off.
She looked taken aback, but answered nonetheless. "I… I don't know. I was working in the village hall. But—"
"Right," I said. "I'm going to go and see the elder."
"Zacharias, wait!" She hurried to my side, grabbing a hold of my arm. I stopped, sighing, and turned to her. "What's wrong with you? Aren't you… aren't you happy to be back?"
I pulled my arm away. "I'm not here to settle back into my old life, Melody. I came here because I thought I'd find the Paladin, and now I need to know where he's gone." I turned away again.
I could hear the tears beginning to flow once more, and I stopped again, turning around to look at her.
She could barely force the words out of her throat. "Zacharias… I thought you…" She swallowed. "What's happened to you?"
I looked her in the eye. "More than you want to know."
Without another word, I turned away from her and headed on my way toward the village hall. I didn't turn back. Even talking to her for the brief time I had was having an effect on me I didn't want. I wanted to force away the compassion. The old child in me, the one that wanted to go and embrace her, to tell her everything would be all right, to tell her I would stay here with her and pick up where we'd left off… that child was dead to me, and I wasn't ready to let him back in.
Before I knew it, I stood before the door to the village hall. I pushed it open slowly and climbed the stairs into the main chamber. It hadn't changed at all since I left it. The walls were the same grey-beige stone, and the candles on the wall sconces still cast the same dim, gentle light into the halls. As I reached the top of the stairs and entered the foyer, I saw the elder speaking with two Mages. One was Priestess Springwater. I recognized the other, but I didn't know his name.
They looked up as they saw me, and the elder turned, looking me in the eyes. It was Priestess Springwater that spoke first. "I'm sorry, you'll have to leave – we don't allow foreigners into the village hall."
"I'm not a foreigner," I said.
Her eyes narrowed. "Is that so? I'm afraid I don't quite recognize you."
"I assure you," I said again, "I'm not a foreigner to this village."
The priestess looked to the elder, who was still staring appraisingly at me. The Black Mage standing next to him stepped forward. "Shall I escort our stranger away, my Lord?"
But the elder held up a bony hand, his black robe sweeping about him as he did so. He, too, stepped forward, and the Black Mage humbly backed away. The elder continued to advance until our faces were no more than a foot apart. And then, with no questioning tone hampering his voice, he spoke. "Zacharias."
I said nothing, but he nodded slowly. "It is you, indeed. You… you found your way back."
I nodded.
The priestess hurried to his side, staring at me as though I were a piece of unusual art whose message she was trying to understand. "Is it… is it really…?"
In answer, I reached up and lowered my hood. My hair flowed freely from within it, dancing about my face. My features were hardened, and I knew my eyes looked weary – I'd not have been surprised if there were dark circles beneath them.
The priestess backed a step away, her hands at her mouth. "Zacharias… it really is…" She slowly moved toward me, and then put each of her hands on my cheeks, taking in every feature of my face. Her hands were cool on my heated skin. I could almost feel her tamed energy. Presently, she also nodded. "It is you. I… Zacharias, I'm so sorry…"
She lowered her hands and backed away again, leaving me confused. I finally found my voice once more. "Sorry? What do you have to apologize for…?"
She was shaking her head. "No, please… please, you must tell me what happened, tell me where you were sent—"
"Ayana."
The elder's voice startled her into silence, and she folded her hands before her abdomen and bowed her head respectfully.
The elder looked from her to me. "We had thought you wouldn't be returning to us, Zacharias. Your father's memorial service…"
"It was also mine?"
He nodded. "In truth, when the priestess sent you away—"
"The priestess?" I looked at her again. "You were the one who sent me away? You… you saved me?"
She nodded. "I… I did all I could think to do. It was either send you somewhere else, or… or let you…" She couldn't finish her sentence, but she didn't need to.
"However," continued the elder, "we unfortunately didn't know where you had been sent. The priestess thought she hadn't sent you too far away, but when you didn't return, we came to the conclusion that you must have been thrown into the ocean, or worse."
I shook my head. "I… well, thank you, Priestess." Then I looked to the Black Mage, and I frowned. "May I ask…?"
The Mage was silent, and the elder answered for him. "This is your father's successor, Lord Remadon Flire." Lord Remadon nodded courteously to me.
I nodded back out of feigned respect. I recognized the name – my father would talk about Remadon occasionally, and what I decided to keep quiet was that he'd held the younger Black Mage in fairly low esteem. "Too ambitious and hot-tempered," he'd said. "He needs discipline, patience… he's going to hurt someone one day."
But I didn't say what I was thinking out loud. I merely nodded respectfully, my mind full of hidden disdain.
Lord Remadon, however, didn't follow suit. "Forgive me for saying so, elder," he said, "but I find it hard to believe that this is the promising, rebellious young Black Mage you and Lord Rio, rest his soul, told me about. A curious choice of uniform, to say the least."
Had this been said to me three weeks previously, back when I was the rebellious child he spoke of and still trying to prove my worth to my superiors, the comment would have had me trembling with contained fury. However, I was no longer that child, and all I did was grin coldly. "Things have changed," was all I said.
The elder looked sternly to Remadon. "That will do, thank you," he said, and then glanced at me. "Now, Zacharias… we would all like to hear what happened and what brought you back here. Perhaps over a cup of tea…?"
But I shook my head. "I'm afraid I don't have time. I don't intend to stay in Mysidia. Priestess," I said, looking at her, "thank you again. You saved my life, and I won't forget that. But I must know: where has the Paladin – Cecil – where has he gone?"
The elder narrowed his eyes, concern distorting his features. He shared a glance with the priestess before he spoke. "Zacharias… you realize, don't you, that he is a changed man? That he's accepted the power of the holy knight?"
I nodded. "Yes, that's exactly why I need to find him, and I will do so on my own if I must. But I would appreciate your help."
The Elder clasped his hands and sighed. "Zacharias… please, tell me why you are looking for Cecil."
I bowed my head, pondering my response. Should I tell him my true goal? No. But if I didn't give him more details he would never tell me where I needed to go, and finding Cecil could take much longer. Still, there was no reason to tell him everything.
Finally, I looked up. "I… I want to fight Golbez."
The elder's eyes widened. "Golbez? He's… but Zacharias, he's a very powerful man… and your strength…"
"I've changed," I said. "I've become more than I was. My strength is no longer what it once was… and I've learned more than I thought I ever could." I patted the spear at my back as if to emphasize the point. "Golbez was responsible for the death of my father, and I intend to avenge that death by challenging him.
"I know Cecil is looking to fight Golbez as well, and I… I want to offer him my assistance," I lied. "I need his help. I know I can't do it alone. So, please… help me avenge my father. Please tell me where he's gone."
The elder bowed his head, turning away. He stood in thought for a long time, and the priestess watched him intently. Lord Remadon kept a suspicious eye on me as he stood, arms crossed, waiting for the elder's decision. For my own part, I refused to acknowledge the new Lord Black Mage's presence, though I could see him fidgeting as easily as I could see the creases of concern that etched their way across Priestess Springwater's face.
Finally, still facing the stairs that led to what had once been the Crystal Room, the elder raised his head. "All right, Zacharias. Cecil has gone to Baron via the Devil Road. I believe he intends to infiltrate the castle."
I narrowed my eyes. "He can't be serious. Does he really think he can match Baron's forces on his own?"
"It would seem so. And he may well succeed; along with Palom and Porom – exceptionally bright young wizards, the pair of them – he is travelling with the Sage Tellah."
I didn't allow my facial expression to change, but I'm sure my astonishment was betrayed through my voice. "Sage Tellah? The Sage Tellah? How…?"
"I do not know," the elder replied. "I believe it is a matter of fate that they should fight together, a holy knight and one of the greatest magicians of our time. Whether or not the pair of them will be able to defeat Golbez, however, even with the magic of Meteo… that is something I cannot foresee."
I, of course, had learned that Golbez was nowhere near Baron at the moment, but I said nothing about it. Something else had caught my attention. "Did you say 'Meteo'? Sage Tellah knows how to use Meteo?"
The elder nodded. "Yes. The magic was sealed at the summit of Mount Ordeals, so he tells it. Let us pray that he is not forced to use it."
He finally turned around again. "However, if you wish to search for the Paladin…" He paused for a long moment, and then sighed. "You have my leave to go and do as you wish. I daresay I would be hard pressed to stop you at any rate."
I nodded, probably in a more curt fashion than I had intended. "Thank you, elder. And thank you again, Priestess." To Lord Remadon, I spared effort for nothing more than a quick glance. And then I turned around, and swept out of the village hall as silently and contemplatively as I had entered it.
I was thinking as I descended each step and walked back out into the open air. The Devil Road. It was so named for the energy it sapped away from each passenger that dared to make use of it. But even with my newfound skills, I had no other reliable way across the ocean – to get to the continent in the first place, I had stowed away on a boat travelling from Fabul to Silvera, and then traced the archipelago to the mainland – and so it seemed that the accursed Devil Road would be the only way.
I was still somewhat surprised that the Elder had decided to open the Devil Road at all. It had been sealed off for years, ever since Baron had showed signs of becoming more violent and power-hungry. But the more I thought about it, the more I understood how it could have come to pass; Baron had already come and gone and left destruction in their wake, so there was very little threat to be concerned with, and apparently Cecil had given the impression that he was capable of succeeding. For all my ulterior motives concerning the new Holy Knight, I found myself eager to see what Mysidia's citizens had seen in him.
I drifted from my train of thought and slowly realized that those very citizens had begun to take notice of me. Mages and wizards scurrying this way and that were giving me strange looks. Some of them stared in fear – children in particular seemed apprehensive of me. Others, men and women I recognized myself, couldn't help continually looking back for a second or third glance, as if out of familiarity. I wondered briefly if Melody had said anything about my return, but I doubted it highly; after our brief encounter, which seemed to have shaken her trust in me, it was unlikely that she would broadcast my presence. I decided that someone who had seen me on the way in must have realized who I was and subsequently informed others. I had forgotten how quickly word could spread in Mysidia. But it didn't matter. I didn't avoid eye contact but I didn't go looking for it either. I simply strode with my destination in mind.
However, when I arrived at the doorway that led to the portal known as the Devil Road, I found someone quite unexpectedly standing in my way.
"I knew it," said Melody.
I crossed my arms. "Get out of my way."
"I knewit," she said again, moving maliciously toward me. "You were going to follow him. You were going to go and challenge him."
I scoffed. "Challenge him? And why would I want to do that?"
She also crossed her arms in a mediocre impression of my own menacing stance. "Don't play dumb with me, Zach! I know what you've been thinking: just because he's up and become a Paladin doesn't change anything, right? He's still from the evil old kingdom of Baron, and you've got to stop him!" She laughed sarcastically, shaking her head. "I can't believe the elder didn't see right through you."
I sighed. "I don't intend to challenge him. I intend to help him find Golbez and, in doing so, avenge the death of my father. The elder has already given me permission to pass, and even if he hadn't I doubt you'd be well able to stand up to me. Step aside."
"What, so you can go on lying to everyone else? You don't fool me for a second!"
"So you're calling me a liar? That's funny, since not ten minutes ago you told me you didn't know where he'd gone in the first place."
"I knew what you were planning to do!" She stepped backward to the door. "I'm not going to stop aside for you, Zach. And frankly, I don't think you'd lay a hand on me to force me. I don't think you could if you tried."
I held her gaze for a few seconds after that, giving her just enough time to realize how wrong she was before I stepped forward and shoved her stumbling to the side with one quick thrust of my arm. She tripped over the hem of her white-and-red robe, falling clumsily to the grass, unhurt but humiliated. I looked at her once again in disdain before putting my hand on the doorknob.
"Zacharias!" She was looking up at me with tears beginning to form in her eyes again. The constant crying was starting to get on my nerves, not to mention bringing up unpleasant memories I'd been attempting to lock away, but nevertheless I looked back.
She was staring up at me with fire behind her moist eyes. "You've changed! This isn't like you! You were never this spiteful or… or… you were just never like this! What has happened to you? Why are you so… so angry? What happened to the Zacharias I knew, the one that wanted to protect the innocent and stand up for what's right, instead of all this… this… this obsession with revenge?"
"I don't see how that's any of your business."
"Why?" She stood up, angrily wiping the forming tears from her eyes. "Wasn't I always the one who you'd talk to? The one you could tell anything to? That hasn't changed!"
"You're wrong!" I turned back to her, my features darkening. "Everything has changed. Everything is different, whether you were a part of that change or not. Things can't be the way they were. It's too late for that." I shook my head. "And you aren't fooling me, either. All you wanted was to get in my way."
"Then why am I still here!"
I couldn't come up with an answer to that. But even if I could have, I wouldn't have needed it; she kept on talking. "I… I don't even know why I'm still here. You've obviously changed. You've obviously become something… something different. Something horrible. And you're not the Zacharias I once knew. But there's still something in you that's still… that's still you. So I'm here. And I'm waiting for that old Zacharias to come back to his senses and explain to me why he can't just come home, instead of trying to fight the man that may be the only hope that Mysidia – that the world – has left!"
I was still rendered nearly speechless. "What are you talking about?" was all I could say.
There were no longer any tears in her eyes, but there wasn't any anger either; all that was left was a vague indifference, as if she wanted me to stay and be the old Zacharias again, but knew that what she wanted wouldn't make any difference. "He… Cecil… he brought a sword back with him, and there was a carving on it: the Legend. OurLegend, Zacharias. He's the one who'll bring the world back into light from darkness. And all you can think about is going to fight him—"
"I told you, I'm not going to fight him!" I said, cutting her off and moving closer to her. Somehow, it seemed that the only way to get her off my back would be to tell her the whole truth. "All I want is to find and challenge Golbez, and I know that if I follow Cecil, he'll lead me straight to where I want to go. Frankly, I don't give half a damn about him or the Legend – for all I care, he and Sage Tellah and Palom and Porom can fight all they want and save the world, or die trying. I am going to fight Golbez and avenge my father, and if I have to use Cecil to do that, then so be it."
Her eyes were glued to mine, and I could feel her probing them for anything that might tell her I was deceiving her, that I was lying, that it was all an elaborate scheme, but I knew that she would find none. After several moments, I turned away to leave once more.
And then she finally spoke again. "Take me with you, then."
I stopped in mid-stride and sighed aloud. "What?"
"You heard me." She walked around me, her features hardened and her arms crossed. "Take me with you. If all you're going to do is find your way to Golbez, you don't have anything to hide, so having me around wouldn't be any trouble at all."
I groaned inwardly. That was all I needed: someone else to drag along behind me while I waged my vengeful war, even if it was Melody, and even though a part of me, no matter how I tried to conceal it from my consciousness, did miss her terribly. Memories briefly flashed through my mind: memories of our practice sessions, and other times we spent together, swimming in the ocean, showing each other the spells we'd learnt during lessons, and the times she'd listen to the stories of the Dragoons as I'd read them aloud…
But I shook them out of my mind. "No. You'll slow me down. I'm better off alone." I started toward the Devil Road again.
"And what if you don't find him?" she said, hurrying along beside me. "What then? What if you can't fight off the… I don't know, the soldiers or something, and you need help? What are you going to do then?"
"Die proudly," I shot back.
She laughed out loud. "Oh, that'd be just brilliant, wouldn't it? Instead of accepting the assistance my magic could give you, you'd just die. And then Golbez gets off scot-free with the murder of your father! Is that what you want?"
"Don't lecture me," I said to her, the words bringing another flash of memory back.
And she noticed. "Aha. You know I'm right. You need me, Zacharias. You can't do this by yourself – why else would you be looking for Cecil? You need his brute strength and Sage Tellah's healing magic, right up until you fight Golbez for yourself. And if you don't find him, you'll never manage it. You need me, Zacharias."
"I don't need anyone!" I was almost at the door.
And again, she hurried around me and stood in front of it. "I'm coming," she said, "whether you like it or not."
There was a long, tense moment as I stared into her eyes with as much menace as I could muster, but she was clearly unafraid, and unmoving.
Finally, I said, "I can leave you anytime I want to. I can go places you could never reach."
"Just give me a chance," was all she said.
Another moment, and then I sighed resignedly, inwardly disgusted at myself, and then further at the smile that crossed her lips. Together, we went through the door to the Devil Road, and she stepped on the portal first, fading out of view within seconds.
But I was angry and frustrated with myself as I watched the green glow disappear. Somehow, somewhere inside my consciousness, I had convinced myself that this was a decision I would regret making. I would be encumbered, my newfound abilities useless; I wouldn't be able to make a quick escape when I needed to, wouldn't be able to travel as quickly or for as long as I could before. All my training would be for nothing.
And in the same instant, two thoughts crossed my mind: first, that these anxieties must have been almost exactly the same as those Kain felt before he took me on as his protégé and brought me with him to Damcyan. And second, that even despite everything that made me nervous and anxious and angry about bringing Melody with me, on some unchangeable, undeniable and incomprehensible level, I couldn't have been happier that she'd showed up.
Torn by conflicting thoughts, I stepped into the portal, and the Devil Road swept me away across the seas to the close-but-so-far kingdom of Baron, where everything had begun.
