Chapter 7 - Ana
Was he? No. Ana trembled as she hovered over Christian and surveyed his immobilized body. Only minutes ago he was sleeping so peacefully next to her, and now he was...No!
Falling to her knees, her shaking hand touched him as if he were fragile. Not a single movement. Not a breath. Nothing.
For a man she barely knew, tears swelled in her eyes and a high pitched sob escaped her. The fright of seeing him like this disturbed and saddened her, but the reality of knowing if he really had checked out swallowed her whole. How could she survive in this place without someone, without him?
Alone. Ana felt her chest go tight and her breathing quicken. The immediate feeling of being trapped sent her spiraling through depression. Without a single soul to comfort or entertain her was asking for insanity to walk through open doors into her already panicked state. She wouldn't allow it though. She wouldn't let him leave her so easilY.
The image of her dirty scrubs that she had worn upon her arrival in this strange place sparked an idea. Maybe even a bit of hope. Pressing her hands together on top of his chest, she began to push down in short, pulsating movements. She had to save him, or at least try.
"Come on." Ana gritted through her teeth. "Come on."
The urgency that coursed through her made her compress his chest faster, harder. But her hands grew tired and so did her muscles as the force behind each push began to fade. It was useless. He wasn't going to wake up. This was it. She was officially alone.
Ana fell back on her feet and sighed. Her wet hair soaked her shirt and the fresh tears that dropped from her eyes did the same to her cheeks. Emotionally charged, she sniffled and shed the free flowing waterworks that had presented itself so suddenly. Unsure whether she was crying because she had just witnessed death or the fact that she was utterly fucked in this mystery realm, she held nothing back.
With her head bowed, she stared down at her hands. What was going on? Why was any of this happening at all? This never ending game of questions had to stop, and now.
Her gaze shifted back to Christian, who appeared to be in a deep sleep, but she knew that was not the case. Now that it was confirmed that he was no longer with her, what would she do? Would she leave him like this? Would she move him? Where would she go...all alone?
And there they were. The questions flooded her mind again. Ana moaned in frustration and pounded his chest with her fist. "Wake up, damn it!" His body jolted from the impact of her fist hitting him. "You don't get the easy way out."
Hurling her fist at the center of his chest, she beat it again, and again, and again. A flame inside her lit. She couldn't give up that easily. Even if this was his fate and this was hers, she had to know that at least she tried as hard as she could.
After exerting her efforts, she slumped to the ground and laid her head on the cold floor next to his. She closed her eyes and proceeded to count to ten.
For ten seconds, she would let herself feel the excruciating pain of what surrounded her. Once her time was up then she would let it all go and move on. She had too. It was the only way to survive, if that's what she was doing.
One. Two. Three.
Anxiety, fright, grief swelled around her.
Four. Five. Six.
It weaved in and out of her bones, veins, and every inch of her soul.
Seven. Eight. Nine.
This was it. And then it would all have to disappear. But as she reached ten, her heart froze mid-thump as the alerting sound of gasping echoed next to her. Wide eyed and tensed, Ana watched as Christian jolted up and his chest puffed out. A case of violent coughs followed and he hunched his half risen from the dead body over in pain. What the hell had she just witnessed?
Stumbling to a kneeling position, she reached out to touch him as he proceeded to cough and wince, but it didn't seem right to do. Ana retracted her hand back and waited like a frightened child until finally he calmed himself down. His shoulders rose then fell as he caught a steady breathing pattern and regained his grasp of this so called reality.
Christian turned his head to look at her as his jaw quivered. She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes not wanting him to see how upset she had become. It was foolish and somewhat embarrassing.
"Are you okay?" She asked in a half whisper. What a stupid question to ask. Clearly, the man was not okay.
"I don't know." He exhaled and scooted back to lean up against the bed.
With one knee drawn toward his chest, he clutched it and stared at the floor. His mouth opened and closed as if he wanted to say something, but fought the urge to do so. It appeared he too was just as shocked by the sudden turn of events and it had deeply disturbed him. The unfamiliar bedroom they occupied had become eerily quiet.
Ana spread her fingers out across her thighs and waited for him to say something, anything, but nothing passed his dry lips. Her gaze beneath her hooded lashes was cautious as she watched him. No longer was internal debate visible. Christian had shut down. A dark and sad expression had engulfed him and he remained completely steel. Even her tiny shuffling movements did not cause him to flinch or glance her way. She was at a loss of words of what to say to him to break him from this state.
Taking notice to his dry lips again, she stood up and pulled her shirt down to cover the bare skin that was exposed waist down. Just last night she was ready for him to see it all and now she felt shy and protective of her body. Not that he would take notice to her being half naked anyways. He seemed to be preoccupied with his thoughts that suffocated him and left him mute.
What was his problem? Maybe his problem was the fact he had just died and risen within matter of minutes, her conscious screamed. Ana shook her head for thinking such a thought. What he needed was some time and she could give him that. She had too.
Leaving the room, she went on a search for her pants and a glass of water for Christian, whether he would drink it or not. Now awake and curious, she took note of every detail of the apartment they had stumbled into carelessly last night.
The hallway she walked down was bare and dark. Where most people hung pictures or art was nothing more than a divider between rooms. Ana shivered at the realization of how lonely this place felt. Even if someone had lived her at some point, there was no trace of who they were and that scared her.
As the hallway ended and opened up into a large room that served the purpose of three rooms put together, she made her way toward the kitchen in the far right corner. Inside the cupboard she grabbed a glass and filled it with water. Turning around she saw her discarded shirt from the night before on the floor near the couch. The memory of his hands and mouth exploring her brought back the warm sensation she craved and she slammed the glass down on the counter from the frustration of her situation. This place was driving her mad.
Ana let out a heated breath and forced herself to go back to the bedroom where frozen Christian sat. Sure enough, he had not moved a muscle and did not acknowledge her kind gesture as she set down on the night stand next to him.
He needs time. Be patient. Ana told herself. But how much?
A tiny closet caught her eye from across the room and she walked over to it. Tapping the light switch, the shelves and lines of hanging clothes came into view and she ran her hands over the cloth of the shirts, jackets, dresses, and pants. How convenient, she thought as this abandoned closet had become her own personal clothing store. A pair of jeans seemed suitable to cloth her naked legs and she prayed silently that they would fit. When they did, Ana smiled and wondered what else would too.
After a few minutes of letting herself divulge in scattering clothes all over the closet floor, she had found something to wear that felt like it fit her personality. An odd discovery of knowing what looked and felt right was refreshing to her. Style had been conquered, but the list still grew. She was still met with the same blank slate.
Just beyond the cracked closet door out into the bedroom, she could see the back of his head. She smoothed out the fabric on her shirt and wondered what to say to him to get him to snap out of it.
What was worse: being alone or being ignored?
She desperately wanted to sit down next to him and wait it out, but it would only her drive her sanity closer to breaking too. Whatever mental well being she had left she needed to hang on to for now. Until then, she needed to occupy her and take her mind off things.
The shadows of the living room moved around her as she curled up on the couch and buried herself in a book that she had found neatly shelved amongst a collection. She didn't know if she even liked to read, but it was something to do and many hours later she had finished it from turning the last page and sighing when it was done. During that time, he had not left the bedroom. She wondered if he was even still breathing and she knew better than to let that dark reality consume her again. Whatever had happened to him in those mere minutes between life and death had really fucked him up.
Setting the book down on the couch next to her, she sighed. Now what? Night was approaching again and fast. The dark streets of the unknown scared her, but they tempted her exploration at the same time. Either she could stay held up in this apartment all night long or she could face the unknown. Option number two sounded more enticing than sitting here sulking. It was now or never to do it before she backed down.
But what about Christian? Ana peered over her shoulder wondering if she should tell him what she was doing, but a part of her didn't want to. If he really wanted to partake in living again, he would find her. The city was a big place, but finding the only other living soul in it wouldn't be hard. Especially with what she wanted to do.
Not giving it a second thought, she stood up from the couch and left the apartment without looking back.
Ana pressed her finger on the digital touch screen and scrolled through the list of titles. Choosing one at random, the place roared to life with music.
She had chose the bar from the night before as her place of release and adventure. The liquid bottles on the shelves reminded her to stay cautious and set a limit so she wasn't hurling her brains out again. As fun as last night was, she didn't want to relive it.
The rhythm of a guitar with an edgy sound blared and the vocals of a male echoed off the walls. On the bar, her drink still sat and she opted to stay away from the hard stuff. As she swayed her hips and danced around the bar, she searched the coolers for something less bitter. A bottle with a colorful label stood out and she picked it up. Popping the cap off, she drank it and made a face. It was much smoother than what she had drank the night before, but still potent enough to loosen her up. Ana took another sip and tapped the bar.
Rock song after rock song played and she passed the time dancing and learning the lyrics quickly. She used her beer bottle as a makeshift microphone and sang into it. She laughed at how insane she might appear, but it didn't matter. There was no one to witness the mess she was becoming and she welcomed her carefree night with open arms.
Twirling around in the middle of the floor and shaking her head back and forth, she paused as the door to the bar swung open and in he walked. It was Christian. He was here. She closed her eyes and opened them to make sure she wasn't seeing things, but he was very much physically present.
He moved in long strides toward the bar with his head hung low. He did not look at her and he did not acknowledge her. What was his problem? What had she done to make him act like she didn't even exist?
Ana watched him as he helped himself to the same bottle he had drank from the night before and poured himself a shot. He downed it fast and poured another mimicking his actions. The glass hit the counter top hard and this time for the first time in hours he looked at her. Fuck! She knew that look. It was the same look from last night right before it all had unraveled. .
