Her eyes fluttered open as she felt the body next to hers shift in the bed. Rolling over she realized who was sleeping next to her. Damon. The memories of the night before began flooding back to her. It had all happened so fast, she hadn't even had time to process what was happening or how she felt about it.
"I know that I should hate you after what you put me through, but I don't. You shattered my heart into a thousand pieces the day you walked out of my life, but I still loved you with every single piece of it. I don't know why I still love you, but I do. I will always love you, Elena."
"I need you to hate me." She told him. She could feel the tears began to form on her eyes as she said those words. "I need you to hate me for what I did. What I did was unforgivable and I need you to hate me for it. I ran away from our love because I felt like I had failed you. You tried so hard to keep our marriage together, but in the end I was too selfish to help. I never meant to hurt you the way I did, I just needed to get away from what I had done." She let the tears fall as she began to relive the past.
"I never blamed you for what happened." He told her as he pulled her into a hug. "I was so worried about you after the accident and it nearly killed me to put you in that rehab. I knew that you hated me for it, but I was only trying to save you."
"I never hated you." Elena informed him. "I hated myself for what I had done, but it was easier to try and hate you. I am so sorry for all the pain that I caused you and I hope that someday you can forgive me for that." She pulled herself away from him and began to stand up.
"I already have," He said pulling her back towards him. He pulled her into an earth shattering kiss before she could say another word. She tried to pull away, but the feel of his lips on hers was too powerful for her and she had no choice but to kiss back.
"Damon, I…we..we can't," She said finally breaking the kiss. "I am engaged."She could see the look of disappointment on his face as she said those words. It broke her heart to know that she was breaking his once again.
"You kissed me back." It was the only thing he could find in his heart to say. In truth, he had been surprised when she stopped trying to push away from him and began to return his kiss. He figured that she would push away and leave him alone, but she had given in and kissed him back. It was a feeling that they had both been without for eight years and they had both missed the touch of each other's lips.
"I know." She had kissed him back without putting up much of a fight. She should have pushed him away, after all, she was trying to get him to sign the divorce papers. But something inside of her refused to push away from him. Maybe it was because there was a part of her that still loved him, a part that wanted to forget everything and just start over. "I shouldn't have done that. I just missed it so much and I guess I wanted to pretend that it was eight years ago and nothing had ever changed." She admitted as she watched his face begin to light up.
"We don't have to pretend, Elena. We can just start over." He told her. He didn't wait for her to answer, instead he pulled her back into another kiss. After what seemed like hours they finally broke apart gasping for air. "Come back home with me." He said to her. "We can just forget the world, just for tonight. I want you, no, I need you, Elena."
"I need you, too." She knew it was wrong. She knew that this was the last thing that she should be doing, but Damon had always had some sort of power over her. With just one look at her, he could make her go weak in the knees. He could get her to do things that she had never even dreamed off. He could make her forget that other people even existed. At that moment it was just the two of them. Two people who were young and crazy in love, just like eight years ago.
"Good morning," Damon said as he began to open his eyes. "How did you sleep?"
"Damon, what did we do?" Elena asked, trying to stay calm. She felt so ashamed at what she had done and yet she felt so happy also. Being in Damon's arms again felt right, it made her feel safe.
"What didn't we do?" He replied with a chuckle. "Let's just say that we almost made up for the last eight years in just one night."
"Oh my goodness." Was all Elena could say as she pulled away from him and made her way out of bed. She tried to gather all of her clothes and put them back on as fast as she could, but she was having a hard time finding all of them.
"Where are you going?" He sat up as he watched her race around the room with nothing on. Even when her hair was a mess and her makeup was smudged, he still couldn't help but think that she was the most beautiful girl that he had ever laid eyes on.
"I think that we should get dressed and have a talk." She told him, gathering the last of her clothes. "We have to talk about a few things." She said before turning around and making her way into the bathroom.
"Okay, let's talk." Damon said as he made his way into the kitchen. He was surprised to find Elena sitting at the kitchen table sipping on her coffee. She looked calm, which was not at all what he had expected. He figured that she would freak out and they would just end up arguing about their current situation even more.
"What exactly does this mean?" Elena asked trying to sort out all of her feelings about the previous night. She loved him, it was true, but she was still engaged to another man. Before coming back to Mystic Falls, she thought that she had her feelings figured out. She wanted to divorce him and be done with all of their past history, but now she almost wanted to explore their possible future.
"I think it means that we are still supposed to be together." Damon told her, taking a seat next to her. "You didn't exactly put up a fight to stop what was happening." He knew that she was feeling guilty about what had happened, but he couldn't tell if she regretted it or not.
"I know," She whispered. "I don't regret what we did, but I do feel bad about it. I can't believe I did this to Jason." Her heart broke as she thought about Jason and how he was going to feel about this when she told him.
"Did you feel bad when you did it to me?" Damon asked. He hadn't intended it to sound so cold, but he couldn't help it. He could believe that she felt so much guilt about cheating on her fiancé, when she hadn't felt guilty about cheating on her husband. "We were still married when you were sleeping with Jason and did you for one second feel guilty about that?" His voice was full of anger and hurt as he asked her the question.
"I was over you!" She shouted as she felt the anger boil up inside of her. How could he get mad at her when he had done the same thing? "Did you feel bad when you slept with Amy?" She asked.
"That is different and you know it." He defended. "I told Amy that I was still in love with you before we started seeing each other. I felt guilty about it, but what did you expect me to do? You didn't exactly leave me in a wonderful position. At least I was honest with Amy and told her that I was still in love with you and I always would be. Does Jason even know why you are down here?" He could tell by the look on her face that he was right. "Why does Jason think you are here?"
Tears started to form in her eyes. She knew that everything Damon had told her was true and she deserved to hear all of it. "He thinks that I am just here to tell my family about the engagement." She looked away from Damon. She could bear to look him after what she had just said.
"Just as I figured, you never told him all about your deep, dark past. I guess it is better that way. You can finally have the dream life you have been wanting." Damon said as he stood up and began to walk out of the room.
"Damon," Elena called out before he left the room. "I never meant to hurt you this way." It was true. She had never intended to hurt him or anyone else, but her selfish actions had caused everyone she cared about pain. "I just needed to leave my past behind, but now I see that that is impossible."
"You've made a lot of things impossible, Elena." Damon said before leaving her alone in the house they once shared.
….
"What are you doing here?" Damon heard a voice ask from behind him. Stefan sat down at the bar next to him as he waited for an answer.
"I just needed to clear my head and think about a few things." Damon answered as he took another drink of his beer.
"Is this about Elena?" Stefan asked, already knowing the answer. He had watched his brother suffer for eight years over Elena and he knew that since she had returned to Mystic Falls, Damon was reliving ever memory from their past.
"Isn't it always about Elena?" Damon answered.
"What happened this time?" Stefan asked. He watched Damon try to drown his sorrows with his beer as he waited for his brother to answer.
"We slept together last night." Damon answered with a slight laugh. "It was wonderful and I thought that we were both on the same page, but this morning she started feeling guilty because of her fiancé Jason. I yelled at her because I know that she didn't feel that guilt when she cheated on me and we ended up fighting again."
"Wow, you two just can't seem to quit each other, can you?" Stefan asked with a laugh. He knew that he should be sad for his brother, but the situation was just too funny to him. They were both so selfish with each other that it made Stefan laugh just a bit. How could two people who were so in love, not see that they were meant to be?
"I am going to have to quit her, Stefan." Damon said taking another swig of beer. "I love her, but I just don't know if I can go through this again. I love her enough to let her go."
Stefan was in shock as he listened to his brother. Over the past eight years he had seen his brother continue to hold on to Elena, but now he was suddenly deciding to let her go without even putting up on last fight. "This is not the Damon I know." He told him. "The Damon I know wouldn't give up until it was really over." Stefan left Damon with that finally thought before making his way out of the Mystic Grill.
….
Elena wondered around the house going through some of her old belongings when she came across a blue baby blanket. She felt tears form in her eyes as she stared down at it. She couldn't believe that Damon had kept it all these years. Her mind began to wonder back to the accident.
"Elena," She heard a voice call to her. It seemed so far away from her, but yet so close. "Elena, please wake up." The voice pleaded with her. She could tell that something bad had happened to her because the voice sounded like it had been crying. "Elena, I know you can hear me and I am asking you to please wake up." She finally recognized the voice that was calling her. It was Damon. He was crying and begging her to wake up, but why?"
She tried hard to get her eyes to open and after what seemed like an hour she finally opened them. "Where am I?" She managed to choke out as she watched Damon's face light up. She could tell that he was still upset, but he was happy that she had finally opened her eyes.
"You were in a car accident." He told her as his sad smile turned back into a frown. "You have been out for almost three days and the doctors weren't sure that you were ever going to wake up." She could tell that he was trying hard not to cry as he told her what happened. "You ran through a stop sign and a large truck hit your car."
"I remember talking to you on the phone right before I blacked out." Elena said as she tried to remember what happened. "We were talking and I just didn't see the stop sign." Elena could tell that something wasn't right with Damon as she told him what she remembered. He seemed like he was hiding something from her and it was killing him. "I am so sorry, Damon. I know that you must have been worried sick about me, but I am okay." She tried to apologize as she watched Damon just nod in response.
"I was keeping it for the next time." Elena heard Damon say as he walked into the living room. "I figured that we would have more someday and we could give it that blanket." He made his way past her and took the seat next to her on the couch.
"But you knew that there would never be a next time." Elena told him, a sad look played out on her face as she watched him.
"Miracles happen, Elena." He told her as he watched her put the blanket on the coffee table. "You didn't stick around long enough to find out if we could have had another baby. You just left without even trying."
"You don't know how hard it was for me to deal with the accident. You have no idea what I had to go through." Elena said as fresh tears started to fall.
"You think it was a piece of cake for me?" Damon asked. "You didn't have to sit around and pray for three days that your wife would wake up and be okay. You didn't have to tell her the news that she had lost your son. You didn't have to watch her self destruct and then put her in a rehab just to save her life. You didn't have to wait around for eight years for her to come home. Don't tell me I don't understand pain because believe me, I do." He didn't mean to lecture her about their past mistakes, but he was tired of her acting like she was the only one who had lost something, the only one who knew true pain. He remembered telling her that they had lost the baby and watching the look on her face as she realized what had happened.
"I am looking for the family of Elena Salvatore." The doctor said as he made his way into the waiting room.
"I am her husband." Damon said as he stood up and walked towards the doctor. "How is she?"
"She is in a coma and we are not sure if or when she will wake up." The doctor informed him. Damon felt his world start spinning as the doctor said those words.
He finally got himself together enough to motion to the doctor to talk to him in private away from all of his friends and family. "How is the baby?" Damon asked in a whisper. They still hadn't gotten around to telling everyone that they were expecting a baby boy. It was something that they had planned on telling them that night, but instead they were spending it in the hospital, praying for Elena's survival.
"I am so sorry, Mr. Salvatore." The doctor began, "We tried to save the baby, but there was just too much damage. I am not sure that you will ever be able to conceive again because they damage was just too bad." The doctor gave him a pat on the back and a sad smile, before returning to the ER.
Damon felt as though he was losing his whole world. He made his way over towards the waiting area and sat down. He put his head in his hands and began to pray that Elena would somehow make it through this.
Three Days Later….
""Elena," Damon said. The doctors had told him that talking to her might help her wake up. "Elena, please wake up." He pleaded with her. "Elena, I know you can hear me and I am asking you to please wake up." He was desperate. "I can't lose you." He laid his head on her bed as he continued to hold her had.
"Where am I?" He heard her choke out a few minutes later. She was still struggling to open her eyes, but she was talking. His face lit up for the first time in days and he realized that he still had hope that everything would be alright.
"You were in a car accident." He told her as his sad smile turned back into a frown. "You have been out for almost three days and the doctors weren't sure that you were ever going to wake up." He smile turned back into a frown as he remembered that he was going to have to tell her what happened. "You ran through a stop sign and a large truck hit your car."
"I remember talking to you on the phone right before I blacked out." She told him as she tried to remember what happened. "We were talking and I just didn't see the stop sign. I am so sorry, Damon. I know that you must have been worried sick about me, but I am okay." She tried to apologize. He just simply nodded to let her know that he was okay.
"How is the baby?" Elena asked as a worried look appeared on her face. He had been dreading answering this question for days, but he knew that he was going to have to tell her the truth eventually.
He took a deep breath and tried to collect his thoughts before he answered. "The baby…" He paused trying to figure out how to break it to her. "The baby didn't make it." He said as he watched the tears begin to fall from her face. "They did everything that they could, but there was just too much damage."
"This is all my fault." Elena said as she continued to cry. It broke his heart to see her in so much pain, but he was so happy that she was alive and awake.
"None of this is your fault." He told her as he gently grabbed her face and looked at her in the eyes. "These things just happen." He knew that it wasn't the most comforting thing that he could say, but it was the only thing that he could think of at that moment.
"I promise that we can try again once I am better." She told him. "I know how much you want to become a father." His heart broke once again as she said those words. He remembered what the doctor had said and the devastating news that he had to tell her.
"Elena, the doctors said that the damage was just too bad and they are not sure if we will ever be able to have another baby." He told her as fresh tears of his own fell down his face. He hated telling her that they would never be able to have kids again, but he couldn't lie to her and act like everything was going to be okay.
"No," Elena cried. "No, this can't be happening!" She cried out. He just nodded his head and tried his best to calm her down.
"It is going to be okay, Elena." He told her whipping the tears from her eyes. "It will be okay."
"I am so sorry for everything that I have done to you, Damon. I am truly sorry. We can't fix this mess. I messed up things and I know that it can never be fixed. I love you, Damon, but there is just so much pain and hurt between us. I wish that we could go back and start over, but we both know that there is just too much damage." Elena told him as she stood up.
"Elena, do you still want to be with me?" Damon asked her. It was a simple question, one that he had been dying to ask her since she had arrived back in Mystic Falls. She had never really answered it for him; she had only played around and avoided it.
"I don't know what I want anymore, Damon." She answered with a sad look on her face. "I want to be with you, but I don't think that will ever happen again. There is just nothing left to fight for. I shouldn't have slept with you, or given you false hope. I shouldn't have left you the way I did, but I can't go back and change that."
"I told Stefan that I was going to let you go and sign the papers, but now that I know how you feel, I am willing to continue fighting for you." Damon told her. "I can't give up knowing that you still love me and that I still may have a shot."
Elena was about to answer him, when her cell phone began to ring. Looking down at the caller id she felt like she wanted to throw up. "Hey, Jason." She answered. She had completely forgotten to call him since she had arrived in Mystic Falls and she knew that he was going to be worried.
"Hey, Babe." Jason said on the other line. "Listen, I am in Mystic Falls and I am looking for you. I figured you had told your family the good news and It was time for me to come help you guys celebrate." Elena almost dropped the phone when she realized that Jason was now in town.
"Yeah, um… that is great! I will meet you at The Mystic Grill in about twenty minutes." She told him before hanging up the phone.
"Let me guess… Jason." Damon said as he watched her face go from shock to worry. She nodded to let him know he was right and sat back down on the couch.
"Damon, please don't do anything stupid." She begged as she watched him smirk. She could almost see the wheels in his head turning as she watched him stand up and grab his jacket.
"Me, do something stupid? Never. " He said with a grin. "I just want to meet the guy that has been sleeping with my wife for the past two years."
"Damon, please don't do this!" She shouted, but he was already out the door. She knew that things were about to get very, very ugly.
A/N: I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter. I know that having them sleep together was probably not the best idea, but I had an idea for later on in the story and I needed them to be struggling with the fact that they still want to be together and that they slept together. Trust me, it will make sense later on and it will be a big part of the story later. I hope that you understood what was going on with all the flashbacks and stuff. If you have questions, feel free to ask me. I want to thank you guys for being so supportive of this story, it really means a lot. I know that a lot of you don't care for Elena because she left Damon, but I hope that these flashbacks and the ones that I will write in the next few chapters will help you understand what she was thinking. She really loves him, but she was so hurt and she didn't know how to escape from everything. She was young and stupid, but hopefully by the end of this story you guys will love her again. Also, I want to point out that Damon is not perfect, we just haven't really seen his flashbacks yet. If you want to find out what happens next, push the review button and tell me what you think. : ) Next Chapter: Jason and Damon meet and things get a little crazy. Also, if you have suggestions for things you would like to see happen in this story, please let me know. Thanks so much.
By the way, I got a Twitter just for my fanfictions. Follow me JateFanForever!
