Bleach Summer Camp

Chapter 7: Meanwhile

Somewhere

"YAY! I actually get to walk into the story itself," the Lawyer said.

"Shut up," MJLCoyoteStarrk said. "You know. I should fire you right now."

"Can't do that," the Lawyer said. "You're under contract to keep me for the duration of the story," he said and held out a copy of the contract.

"Give me that," MJLCoyoteStarrk said and grabbed the contract. "Where does it say that?"

"In the fine print," the Lawyer said and pointed to one of the sub-sub-sub-sub articles in the contract.

"Damn fine print," MJLCoyoteStarrk growled.

"Isn't it wonderful?"

"Not really, anyways, I'm sure that you, dear readers don't want to watch us argue over the fine print. So…let's get on with it."

MJLCoyoteStarrk put in a video and pressed PLAY.

"THE PENDULUM MOVES BACKWARDS IN TIME…"

"Oops, wrong video. You guys came here to find out what's been going on back at Las Noches and the Seireitei. Not watch the 'Turn Back the Pendulum Arc' on Bleach. Ah, here we are. Now…let's see what's been going on since our dear friends left Las Noches and the Seireitei."

Fade to Black

Las Noches, Way Back In Chapter 1

"If you're not helping with restoring Las Noches, come with me," Tosen said.

Dordoni watched as the Espada, Nel, Ggio, and Harribel's fraccion moved off.

"In the meantime, if you are helping with restoring Las Noches, come here," Rudobon said.

The other Arrancars began to gather around Rudobon to wait for further instructions. Rudobon looked at them and nodded to one of his Exequias. The Exequias reached into his uniform and pulled out a large whiteboard.

"Uh…how did he do that?" Gantenbainne asked.

"Quiet, Privaron," Rudobon said.

"The name's Gantenbainne Mosqueda, foo'."

"You know, when you say that you kinda sound like Mr. T," Yylfordt said.

"EXACTA!" Findor said and raised the forefinger on his right hand as though making a point.

"Oh shut up," Mosqueda said. "I pity da foo' who can't have a cool afro like mine."

"Now you really sound like Mr. T," Edorad said and some of the others present chuckled.

"Enough of that," Rudobon said. "We have a tight schedule and if Las Noches isn't cleaned up by the time Aizen gets back, we'll be forced to listen to the Jonas Brothers and watch From Justin to Kelly."

"Not to mention he'll force us to watch every Twilight movie and watch M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender while listening to Britney Spear's new album," Shawlong said.

"Ooh, in that case we should take our time," Di Roy said.

"SHUT UP, DI ROY!" Edorad yelled and hit Di Roy in the face.

"OW, why'd you do that for?"

"Because you were being an idiot," Edorad said.

"WOULD YOU TWO SHUT UP?" Rudobon yelled. "Aizen damn you both. Alright, so here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna go into my Resurrección so that way we'll have enough Exequias to clear the debris and set up the work platforms. Poww, I want you to go into Resurrección when we're ready to work on the dome."

"Why?" Poww asked.

"Dude have you seen how big you get when you go into Resurrección?" Nirgge asked.

"EXACTA!" Findor cried out. "YOU BECOME AS BIG AS A WHALE!"

"That's because I am a whale," Poww said. "Which is exactly the problem: I can't use my hands very well."

"OF COURSE YOU CAN!" Avirama yelled. "You just have to tell yourself that you can. Now, repeat after me. I CAN DO IT! I CAN DO IT! I CAN DO IIIIIIIIIIIT! Well, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"I don't really like your style of motivation," Poww said.

"Anyways," Rudobon said. "I want you all to pay attention to the board."

All eyes focused on the whiteboard as Rudobon drew a circle to represent Las Noches.

"We're fortunate that Yammy going into his full Resurrección didn't destroy much in the Eastern or Southern corners or any of the Five Towers. So, those areas shouldn't take that long to repair. The Northern and Western corners are a different matter," Rudobon said.

"I'll say," Cirucci said.

"You should have seen what it did to the Privarons' chambers," Skullak, the former Primera, said.

"Thank you, Skullak," Rudobon said. "Those are going to be the toughest areas to clean."

"Oh shit," Yylfordt said. "I just thought of something. My little brother's lab is in that area."

"Yes," Rudobon said and sighed. "That means that we'll have to deal with whatever your brother was experimenting with."

"In that case…I'm definitely NOT going into that area," Dordoni said.

There were mutters of agreement.

"Maybe we should just send the Exequias into that area," Menoly said.

"Yeah, I mean they can be easily replaced if something happens to them," Loly said.

"NO!" Rudobon shouted. "I will not allow any of the Exequias to be caught in that area of Las Noches. No, it's best to use the droids."

"Whoa, we have droids?" Cirucci asked.

"Yes, we have droids," Rudobon said. "They'll help us detect any of Szayel Aporro's traps or escaped…experiments. Bring me the droids," he ordered.

"Ooh, I wonder if we'll see R2D2 and C3PO," Dordoni said.

"Actually," Rudobon said. "These aren't those kinds of droids."

"Then what kind are they?" Gantenbainne asked.

Seireitei, After Blaine Left

"Alright people, settle down," Yasochika Iemura, third seat of Squad 4, said as he straightened his pair of sunglasses. "Now, as you know, Head Captain Yamamoto left Squad 4 in charge of the repairs. That means that what we tell you to do has the same authority as though it was coming from Head Captain Yamamoto himself."

"Squad 11 doesn't take orders from Squad 4," a tough-looking Soul Reaper covered in scars said. "We only take orders from Captain Zaraki."

All of Squad 11 cheered at that.

"Actually, you also take orders from Captain Commander Yamamoto, and what we tell you to do have the same weight as they would if they came from Yamamoto," Yasochika said.

"How pathetic," one of the other men cried out. "You hide behind the authority of the Captain-Commander. No wonder why your squad doesn't get that much respect."

"No, they don't get much respect because they're a bunch of MAIDS!" another member of Squad 11 cried out.

"Yeah, and I bet they have to wear those kinky maid outfits whenever they clean house," another said.

There was laughter and applause at that. Yasochika wanted to tell them that those rumors were not true. Unfortunately, he couldn't. It was true that they would sometimes be forced to wear those outfits because Captain Unohana thought they looked "cute" in them. Yasochika wanted to find whoever spread the word about that and rip their tongue out.

Las Noches

"These are the droids?" Dordoni asked.

"Hey, what are you doing on my land, Illegal Immigrant?" the old man asked.

"Paul Revere also did it to warn the British," the woman said.

"I have 23 foster kids as well as 8 kids of my own. I win," another woman said.

"Do you have any Pop Tarts?" another man asked.

"I had sex wit da maid and made a baby," the extremely buff man said. "Come with me if you want to live."

"Who are they?" Cirucci asked.

"They're politicians," Skullak said and spat as he said the word. "They're about as disgusting as Soul Reapers."

"I hate my kids," a woman at the back said.

"Holy shit, is that the Octomom?" Menoly asked.

"It's not just politicians," Rudobon said. "It also includes celebrities and fame-seekers. Aizen made them to infiltrate the World of the Living in hopes that when they died they could then infiltrate the Soul Society and annoy them there. Unfortunately, the Soul Reapers didn't want them so we got them back even though Aizen has a strict no return policy."

"Oh sweet Aizen don't tell me that…"

"I WANT MORE MONEY! CBS IS RUN BY A BUNCH OF FAT HEADS! I'M A WHINEY LITTLE BITCH!"

"Yes, he's here too," Rudobon said.

"In that case, we can send him in first," Loly said.

"You can also send in de Madhatter's Tea Party in first too," Gantenbainne said. "Dey're a bunch of foo's. Hey, I just made a rhyme."

"Yeah, but shouldn't we send in that guy in first?" Cirucci asked and pointed to a man who acted as though he was sitting behind a microphone.

"The Liberal Media is ruining our values," the man said. "Face it folks, the so-called 'President' is not an American citizen and I don't care that he showed his birth certificate."

"No, the Conservative Fat Heads are ruining our nation. We should hang 'em all," another man said and the two radio jockeys began to beat each other up.

"I'm surprised that Lord Aruji Enma didn't take them," Poww said.

"Aizen was going to ship them to him, but he…forgot," Rudobon said. "Anyways, if anything happens to them, then we won't have to worry. Just point them in the direction they should go and tell them that there's a bunch of bailouts over there, or money, or…whatever. They'll pretty much chase after anything."

"Alright," Dordoni said. "What do all dese droids want?"

"HEY LOOK," Skullak cried out and pointed. "IT'S PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY WANT TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOU!"

"WHERE? WHERE ARE THEY?" the large crowd of droids cried out and they ran in the direction that Skullak pointed.

"That's…that's impressive," Cirucci said and gave Skullak a peck on the cheek.

"How did you know they would act like that?" Rudobon asked.

"It's simple. Politicians, fame-seekers, celebrities are all the same in this regard. They want someone to pay attention to them and they don't care what they have to do to get it. That's why they act like a bunch of idiots. It's quite sad really."

Seireitei

Hanataro looked at the large pitcher of lemonade and sighed. Squad 4 was getting stuck with the cleanup, as usual, and all of the other squads were acting as though they were doing all of the work, as usual. He didn't know how much more he could take of it. He looked out the window and saw that some of Squad 4 was moving a large pile of debris. The only squads that were helping were Squads 8 and 13. The other squads were either at the Seireitei pool or at one of the restaurants or taverns.

"HEY! WHERE'S THAT LEMONADE?" one of the soldiers from Squad 6 shouted. "WE'RE GETTING THIRSTY!"

"Comin', damn assholes," Hanataro murmured. He wasn't usually the type to get mad, but the way the other squads were treating them was making him angry.

"Hanataro?" Rin Tsubokura asked.

"Hey Rin," Hanataro said.

"Are you holding up?"

"I don't know how much of this crap I can take. I mean, to them Squad 4 is only good for healing and cleaning up after them."

"I know," Rin said. "Most of my squad thinks that I'm only good for eating candy. They never recall that I was the one who first noticed when the Arrancars invaded Karakura Town. If you think you've reached your breaking point, then perhaps you should show them what you're capable of."

"Are you sure?" Hanataro asked. "I mean, the only other people who know are Captain Unohana and Masami Masaru from Squad 13."

"Isn't Masami that girl who's been coming onto you?"

"Yeah, that's her," Hanataro said and blushed.

"Then you should show her that you're not a push-over."

"Are you sure? I mean, what if she doesn't like me if I…you know."

"I'm sure she'll like you," Rin said. "Who knows, she might like you even more if you show that you're not someone who could be pushed around."

Hanataro knew that Rin was right. If Squad 4 was to get any respect, they would have to stand up and show the other squads exactly what they could do.

Las Noches

Rudobon and Skullak watched as the droids wondered around the ruined areas of Las Noches. So far, fifty of the droids were swallowed by a school of Sand Worms that Szayel Aporro had been studying. Fortunately, the Exequias were able to push the giant beasts back into their holding pit and were busy making repairs to make sure the Sand Worms did not escape again.

"Thank Aizen that Szayel Aporro kept the thumpers in a different location," Skullak said. "Otherwise, the Exequias wouldn't have been able to recapture them."

"So far, the droids have done their job and their loss will somewhat be mourned for that," Rudobon said. "The Arrancars are moving in to begin the cleanup."

Meanwhile on the ground below, Yylfordt was walking with Di Roy and Findor through the ruins. They saw Poww in his Resurrección help moving the larger boulders with Avirama shouting encouragements.

"THAT'S GOOD POWW! PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT! YOU CAN DO IT! YOU CAN DO IT!"

"I can never understand how you guys put up with him," Yylfordt said to Findor.

"Most of us got used to his methods of…encouragement. Of course, he's not as bad as Cuuhlhourne," Findor said.

"I'm surprised anyone can put up with him," Di Roy said.

"Exacta," Findor said. "So, how close are we to your brother's lab?"

"Not far," Yylfordt said. "Ah, we're close," he said and pointed to a sign that read:

ALL TRESPASSERS WILL BE:

DRUGGED, BOUND, TORN TO SHREDS

AND SUBJECT FOR EXPERIMENTATION

(THAT MEANS YOU TOO BROTHER)

PLEASE FILL OUT ONE OF THE FORMS BELOW TO SHOW THAT YOU HAVE READ THIS WARNING

AND ARE STILL IDIOTIC ENOUGH TO TRESPASS

HAVE A NICE DAY

"Nice of him to let him know what we're in for," Di Roy said.

"Exacta," Findor said. "So, what was your brother working on anyways?"

"I don't know," Yylfordt said. "He mentioned something about building a secret army for Lord Aizen. When I asked him about it he told me to mind my own business."

"I just hope we don't find anything too unpleasant," Di Roy said.

Yylfordt looked at him as though Di Roy should know better. This was Szayel Aporro Granz they were talking about.

Seireitei

"It's time that we stand up for ourselves," Yasochika said to the gathered members of Squad 4. "The only squads who are helping us are Squads 8 and 13. All of the others are following Squad 11's lead and refusing to help us with repairing the Seireitei."

The other members of Squad 4 nodded in agreement. Hanataro looked at his fellow Squad 4 members and stood up.

"Hanataro, you wish to say something?"

"I do, Third-Seat Yasochika," he said. "I believe that it's time for us to…to do as Captain Unohana instructed."

The others gasped.

"You mean to use that?" one of them asked.

"What other choice do we have?" another said. "Hanataro's right. It's the only way to get the other squads to fall in line. We have to do it."

"Very well," Yasochika said. "Permission is granted for all Squad 4 members who can perform Bankai to do Bankai if they have to. However, it should be obvious that your Bankais are only to be used to…scare anyone who tries to give you any problems."

All of Squad 4 grinned and nodded in agreement. The other squads never really understood why their squad wasn't allowed to fight in a battle where the use of Bankai would be required. However, they would understand soon enough.

Las Noches

Cirucci released the blades of her wings. The blades whizzed through the air and cut the ruined pillars to a more manageable size for the other Arrancars to carry away. Dordoni was using his own Resurrección to clear pieces of debris from areas where the work platforms would be set up when the time came to repair the dome.

"Alright, let's get that large piece of the dome moved out of the way," Skullak said. "Runuganga, would you and Battikaroa be kind and move that piece of the dome out of the way?"

"As you wish," the two large sandmen said and they lifted the piece of the dome with ease.

"Thank you," Skullak said. "You can set it with the other pieces and we'll let you know when we're ready to repair the dome."

"Yes sir," Runuganga said. "I better get back to patrolling the Basin."

"Good idea," Rudobon said.

"Cirucci, darling, you're doing really nice work," Skullak said.

"And you're doing a nice job of doing nothing but give out orders," Cirucci said.

Skullak grinned and picked up a piece of the ruined dome and set it with the others. He grinned up at Cirucci who only rolled her eyes.

"Well, I better start doing something. Otherwise Cirucci will keep calling me a lazy-ass bum," Skullak said.

"I'm surprised that you can put up with her," Rudobon said.

"She's worth it," Skullak said.

"Hold on, I'm just receiving a report," Rudobon said and lifted a hand to the side of his head just below the curved horn. "The droids have entered the remnants of Szayel Aporro's lab and so far almost half of them have been lost. Damn, what has Szayel Aporro been experimenting with?"

"From what I heard from Lumina and Verona," Skullak said, "nothing pleasant. He's been building a secret army for Lord Aizen that is sure to win us the war."

"If Szayel Aporro is involved…I shudder to think what it is," Rudobon said.

Seireitei

"Get out of our way," the member of Squad 11 said as he pushed Hanataro to the ground.

"Yeah, make way for the Warriors of Squad 11, the best squad in all of the Seireitei," another said.

Hanataro felt the rage build up inside him. But he kept his head. However, soon Squad 4 would rise up and show that they would not be pushed around anymore. Hanataro stood up and the Squad 11 members looked at him.

"Well…I guess you really don't understand where your squad belongs," one of them said.

"I…beg your pardon sir, but Head-Captain Yamamoto put Squad 4 in charge of repairs," Hanataro said, pretending to be afraid.

"Oh really? Well how about that? But it doesn't change the fact that you're Squad 4 and we're Squad 11. Squad 11 doesn't take orders from Squad 4. Understand, runt?"

"I understand sir," Hanataro whispered.

That was when the device that Squad 4 commandeered from Squad 12 was turned on. Hanataro looked up and smiled as he saw Unohana's face rise high into the air.

"ATTENTION SEIREITEI. I AM CAPTAIN RETSU UNOHANA OF SQUAD 4."

"By the Great Soul King Chappy," one of the Squad 11 members moaned.

"IF YOU ARE SEEING THIS, THEN THAT MEANS THAT THE SQUADS HAVE BEEN MISBEHAVING AND NOT DOING AS INSTRUCTED. THEREFORE, WITH PERMISSION FROM HEAD CAPTAIN YAMAMOTO, I AM GRANTING PERMISSION FOR ALL SQUAD 4 MEMBERS TO RELEASE THEIR BANKAIS. HAVE A NICE DAY," she said and gave her other smile.

Hanataro grinned as he unsheathed his sword and showed the members of Squad 11 his Bankai.

Screams of terror rose throughout the Seireitei.

Las Noches

Nakeem and Edorad stood looking at the remains of Szayel Aporro's lab.

"Well, we're here," Nakeem said. "But I don't see the others."

"They'll be here," Edorad said. He turned and looked at the menacing pair of doors. "Should I try again?" he asked and held up the walkie-talkie.

"Nah," Nakeem said. "Frankly, I would rather not go in there."

"I can't say that I blame you, but we have to make sure that all of Szayel Aporro's experiments are rounded-up and accounted for. Otherwise we'll have to deal with Aizen and Szayel Aporro knows what."

"Obviously nothing good," Yylfordt said as he and some of the other Arrancars arrived.

"It's about time you got here," Edorad said.

"So, is this what you needed our assistance with?" Rudobon asked as he approached the doors.

"Perhaps we shouldn't open it," Dordoni said and pointed to the sign next to the door:

DO NOT OPEN

KEEP OUT

GO AWAY

ARE YOU REALLY SURE YOU WANT TO OPEN THIS DOOR?

I ASK AGAIN, ARE YOU SURE?

FINE, BUT DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU

HAVE A NICE DAY

"Yeah, it might be best to just leave it alone," Yylfordt said.

"EXACTA!" Findor cried out. "I agree. If you see a sign that tells you to keep out, then you keep out."

"I agree," Skullak said. "If it's something that Szayel Aporro is working on and if it's safely behind closed doors, then we should just let it be."

"I agree," Rudobon said.

"You're all a bunch of foo's for even arguin' about it," Gantenbainne said. "If the sign tells you to keep out then you keep out."

"Alright, so we don't open it. Yet…oh Aizen the curiosity," Di Roy said.

"Don't even think about it," Edorad said.

"Fine, whatever," Di Roy said and kicked the door.

"Don't do that," Cirucci said. "What if you activated something by doing that?"

"It's just a door," Di Roy said and shrugged. "I mean come on, how bad can it be?"

They all looked at him as though he was insane or just plain stupid.

Seireitei

Hanataro stood on top of the tall block of stone. He was prepared to give the workers water when they needed it. Ever since the members of Squad 4 showed the other squads what they were capable of, the others quickly agreed to do whatever they were commanded to do. Ever since then, the debris from the ruins that were done in the brawl that caused Yamamoto to abduct the other Captains to a summer camp was nearly cleared.

"Hanataro," a girl with dark hair tied into a braid that hung over her shoulder yelled out and came rushing towards him. Her gold eyes glittered with delight.

"Oh…uh…hey Masami," he said and began to fidget with his hands. "I hope…I hope that things are going uh…"

"Oh, everything's fine. We're very happy that the other squads are doing their part now. I'm glad that Squad 4 has finally decided to stand up for itself. But I'm a little worried."

"What are you worried about?"

"Those," she said and pointed.

Hanataro turned and stared. He didn't know what to make of what he was seeing.

"Did you know about those?" Masami asked.

"No, I didn't," Hanataro said. "I don't even think Captain Unohana knew about them either. I don't think she would approve of them."

"I never thought she would be the type of person who would approve of those," Masami said.

Hanataro stood still and stared as the line of golden statues made in the likeness of Captain Unohana were dragged throughout the cleared streets of the Seireitei. He could hear some of the other members of Squad 4 singing songs devoted to the greatness of Captain Unohana. Hanataro felt a wave of nausea run through him.

"Oh no," Hanataro moaned.

Las Noches

"I mean come on, how bad can it be?" Di Roy asked.

"Are you serious? This is my brother we're talking about," Yylfordt said.

"Good point," he said and leaned against the wall.

Unfortunately, the like what happened to Short Round in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, when Di Roy leaned against the wall he accidentally pushed in a button. Immediately the large panel slid open to reveal a gaping black hole.

"Di Roy, what did you do?" Yylfordt asked.

"I don't know, but perhaps we should take a look."

"That's a bad idea," Nakeem said.

"EXACTA!" Findor cried out.

"Well, I'm going in," Di Roy said.

However, as he passed through the entryway, the air was filled with the wailing sound of a siren. Di Roy backed away, but the damage was already done. Inside, a loud chorus of an all-too-familiar voice cried out in perfect unison as Aizen's secret army awoke. The words brought a chill to the spine and many of the Arrancars who gathered at the entrance ran away in terror.

"Oh shit," Yylfordt moaned when he heard the most dreaded words in the entire universe said by countless voices.

"SPARKLE, REINA DE ROSAS!"

End of Chapter 7

Lawyer: IS THAT IT?

MJLCoyoteStarrk: That's all there is. We're all caught up with what's been going on in the Seireitei and Las Noches.

Lawyer: You mean we have to wait a while to see what's going to happen?

MJLCoyoteStarrk: I'm afraid so. But next chapter we'll get back to Camp Smiley. In the meantime, I'll be keeping the cameras recording.

Lawyer: So, what's been going on at Camp Smiley?

MJLCoyoteStarrk: Sorry, but you're going to have to wait. In the meantime dear readers...

Lawyer: ...thank you for reading and please review.

MJLCoyoteStarrk: Remind me of WHY I'm putting up with you.

Lawyer: The lovely fine print in our contract.

MJLCoyoteStarrk: That's right. I would like to wish all of you a Happy 4th of July. Now, time to get the hot dogs and hamburgers ready.