Disclaimer: I am not the owner of the magnificent movie that we all love and have loved for years. I am not the genius who came up with such a great love story, nor am I making any money out of writing this story. I am simply spreading my love for this movie to the rest of the fans all across the world, and I do hope that wherever you are, you are enjoying my story and will continue to love and appreciate Titanic in all the years to come.


Chapter Seven

A Guilty Conscience

May, 5, 1912

Jack let out a fairly audible yawn as he felt the bright sunshine pour into the tiny bedroom, finally waking him up from his long slumber. He rubbed the remaining sleep out of his eyes and turned to give his love a morning kiss, only to find the spot empty. He sat up and briefly examined the room before he came to the conclusion that he was alone. He didn't even hear any noise coming from the next room so he was certain she wasn't here. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stretched as he found a note lying on the nightstand. A smile instantly curved upon his lips when he recognized the handwriting. He reached over and picked up the piece of paper before reading the message she wrote for him:

Dearest Jack,

I could not have the heart to wake you so I decided to leave this message, saying that I'm off to work. I probably won't be back until late this afternoon so feel free to stop by Joe's Café if you wish. I made you some breakfast before I left; it's in the oven. I'll see you later, my darling. I love you.

Rose

A heartwarming sensation flowed throughout his body as he read the words. He placed the piece of paper back on the nightstand before he got up and went to the bathroom so that he could freshen up. Once he finished, he headed back to the apartment and got his breakfast out of the oven. He brought it into the living room and set it down on the small coffee table where he began munching on some toast as he looked around the room, finding that it was fairly clean opposed to the first time he saw this apartment. His eyes suddenly caught sight of a newspaper that was lying in one of the empty bookshelves at the opposite side of the room. He dropped his toast on the plate and got up to retrieve it. He brought it back to the sofa and took a glance at the front page. He clenched his jaw as he read the headline.

The Greatest Ocean Liner Meets Her Doom on the Fifteenth of April

He felt tears well up in his eyes when he saw a picture of the alleged 'unsinkable' ship. Tragic memories began to flood his mind. Jack hid his fears when it all happened because he wanted to be brave for Rose. He didn't want her to see him break down. Now, his emotions were beginning to break loose and he couldn't bear to keep it locked away anymore. He threw the paper down on the floor as he felt tears slipping down his face. He leaned his elbows on his knees and clutched onto the strands of his hair while he thought of how drastically his life has changed since he boarded the Titanic. He knew that if it weren't for Rose, he would not be breathing right now. He would not have gone as far as he did after the ship sank if Rose had not gone down to save him. She was the reason why he was more than willing to risk his life for her to live and why he also fought hard to survive, even though for him, it was close to impossible. Unlike the thousands who perished that night, he was extremely lucky to have survived.

His thoughts suddenly drifted off to his best friend, Fabrizio. He was like a brother to him; a brother he never had. The only goal he seemed to have was to go to America and start a new life. Jack had promised him that he would take him there someday and he broke that promise. Jack had taken the one and only dream Fabrizio had since they met. He sent his best friend to his early grave. He did not deserve to die so young. He soon regretted having told him to go to the other side of the ship with Tommy. If he could take that back, he would — in a heartbeat.

Great, now you're blaming Rose for Fabri's death, his mind scolded. What's wrong with you? It's not her fault; it's your fault, so deal with it. You killed your best friend. You killed Fabrizio.

"I killed him . . ." he murmured as he felt his heart tighten with guilt. "I killed Fabri . . ." Jack pressed his clenched fists against his eyes and cried tears of anguish and remorse. "Oh God, Fabri . . . I'm so sorry . . ." his body shook against his heart wrenching sobs. "I didn't mean to do this to you . . . God, I'm sorry."

Droplets of his grief continued to slide down his cheeks as his sobs echoed throughout the small apartment. Nothing hurt him more than losing a person who was close to him. First, it had been his parents and now it was his best friend, Fabrizio. To make matters worse, he almost lost Rose. Maybe not to death, but the thought of never seeing her again seemed to be more worse than death itself. He also thought of that Irish fellow he met on the ship. Tommy Ryan. He had a good sense of humor and also had a dream. It felt like every person that was close to him had been sacrificed. His parents died because of him. Fabrizio and Tommy died because of him. He almost lost Rose because of him.

It was his fault.

Jack squeezed his eyes shut in attempt to block out the guilt that was eating at his soul only to see images of his best friend and the memories they had together from way before they ever boarded the Titanic. The more he thought about it the more angry he became at himself.

"Why? Why'd you have to die?" he asked, his voice cracked against his tears. "You'd be alive right now if I hadn't met you . . ."

Of course he'd be alive right now. What do you expect? You killed your best friend — the only close thing you had after your parents died. Jesus, Jack . . . who are you going to kill next, Rose? Sure enough, you're going to end up putting her in danger. Then what? You'll have nothing. Save her before you kill her. She's not safe with you here.

Jack's breathing grew heavy as he thought of what he should do. He was constantly reminded of his guilt and the pain was eating at him slowly, making him suffer with every breath he took. Maybe his conscience was right. Maybe he would end up putting his Rose in danger. He couldn't take the risk. His parents died because of his ignorance and Fabrizio would probably still be taking care of his mother if he had not encountered him. No matter what he did, he ended up hurting those he cared about.

"I can't do this to her," he whispered to himself as he glanced around the apartment and knew what he had to do. I have to leave — leave to save her. "I'm sorry, Rose . . ."

He was about to get up when he caught sight of Rose's picture at the bottom of the front page. He leaned down and picked it up, taking a closer look at the photo. She wore an elegant gown and kept a forced smile on her face as the man next to her — none other than that bastard of a fiancé, Caledon Hockley — placed an arm around her shoulder. He remained focused on his Rose and held the tears back for it hurt him so much to leave her. Either way, he knew it was all for her own good. She would be much safer without him.

After all, she did promise to move on, he reminded himself. She's a strong woman; I know she will survive.

He got up and went to get a piece of paper from the bedroom where he scribbled Rose a note and placed it on the coffee table before he left the apartment, for good.


Rose has just finished serving her tenth customer as she was getting ready to go on her lunch break. She waited for a few moments until Sylvia was ready to take over. Rose took a few dollars from her tip jar and left the café to go get something decent to eat at a nearby casual restaurant. She ordered a plate of spaghetti covered in tomato sauce, along with a cup of water. She spent the next few minutes devouring her lunch before she paid off her meal and left to go for a short walk. She needed some fresh air to clear her mind. All morning, she had this eerie feeling deep inside her stomach that told her something was not right. She was walking toward the café and found a bench placed in front of it. Feeling a bit woozy, she took a seat and placed a trembling hand against her forehead as she closed her eyes and took in a few breaths of air.

Something's not right, she thought to herself. I just know it.

Rose was suddenly interrupted from her thoughts when Sylvia stepped out to remind her that her lunch break was now over. Rose got up and went back into the café to resume her shift. She tried putting her thoughts aside for the time being and promised to get back to her worries after work.

Rose stood behind the counter and tried putting her full focus on her task of cleaning when she suddenly felt someone's eyes on her. It wasn't just anyone — it was him. She was certain. She had the same feeling fluttering through her stomach when she first looked in his eyes merely weeks ago. She looked up but found no one there.

I felt him watching me, she mused while a sense of confusion was etched on her features. I know it was him.

She spent a few moments staring at the window before she finally decided to go back to work. Something was not right and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't help but worry. The clock was ticking and all she could do was wait for the day to be over.


Jack leaned against the wall and closed his eyes in attempt to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. The sob that rested at the edge of his throat was begging to be released but with a final swallow, he prevented it from escaping. He felt his heart ache when he looked at her. She was his angel; a beauty who was his fiancé. She has earned his love in every way possible. He couldn't imagine loving anyone else more than he could ever love his Rose. She was his life and for that reason, he had to leave — leave to protect her from himself. It was all for the best — or so he thought.

As difficult as it was, Jack finally found the courage to walk away. The further he walked, the more painful it became. His heart was heavy with guilt as tears brimmed at the corner of his eyes. His mind was filled with thoughts on what he was doing and he came to the conclusion that he was escaping. Escaping from what? From the guilt and regret that he was trying to avoid. Jack continued to fight back his tears; the last thing he wanted to do was let his emotions take over. He had to be strong. This was not the time to cry.

Nearly a half hour passed and Jack never stopped walking. Pretty soon, he felt a strong sense of exhaustion take over his body that he had no choice but to stop and take a rest. He sat down on a nearby bench and covered his face as his body began to shake against his heart wrenching sobs, which he managed to keep muffled and quiet. His blonde hair fluttered against the strength of the wind while chills began crawling up his spine.

What am I doing? I can't live without her, he thought to himself as tears continued to spill down his cheeks.

You'll put her in danger if you go back, his mind argued. She's safer without you. You're just going to have to get over it.

The tiny bit of optimism he had died when his guilt took over. He hadn't felt like this since his parents died. He learned how to move on; at that moment in time, he couldn't waste his life by constantly mourning over them. But this was different. No matter how hard he tried to forget his guilt, it kept relapsing and beating him down until he could no longer take the pain. He sat on that bench and shed tears of guilt as he glanced up at the darkening sky. The setting sun told him that it couldn't be past six yet and by then, he knew that Rose was already home.