A/N-I havn't really gotten any reviews for these stories yet, maybe you'll review after looking at the new title…anyway, Cassandra Kellar came up with the idea (Selenemoon118) and our friend, Brittany Stropkai (strop-k-I) had the unfortunancy to have someone from her family that this sort of happened to…enjoy!
Pleasures of Life and Death-
Ed was heavily panting as he was pinned to the wall by a very familiar Fuhrer.
"You. Me. Here. Now." The silky voice breathed out into the blonde's ear, causing Ed to send a ripple of shivers down his body.
"R-Roy. Al's w-waiting!"
"Al can wait." Apparently Roy was pretty good at what he was doing, because a moment later both men were already stripped of their clothing.
"Roy…" Ed groaned as the raven-haired male moved his lips to the chibi's shoulder, the man's bare leg between Ed's. A small blush nestled on his face.
Knock. Knock.
"Sir?" Hawkeye's voice said through the door. "Sorry to interrupt you and the General, but Al said to tell him that he's going on home and said to have fun." Ed sweat dropped when Roy just nodded, but continued his work.
That's when an evil, wicked idea struck his head.
"Roy, will you-" Ed blushed and looked away, fully aware that the man couldn't resist it.
"Will you what?" Roy breathed, his eyes full of lust.
"Willyoueatoutmyass?!"
A comical twitching face covered Roy as he leaned away from Ed, quite obviously soft…
"No!"
"Pleaaaase?"
"No!!"
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?!"
"NO!"
"Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaase!!"
"God DAMNIT Ed, I said NO!!"
A few tears began to collect then fall from Ed's eyes. "P-p-p-please don't do this to me…I guess I'll just have to go to Armstrong for that experience." As the blonde turned to go, a hand snatched his arm.
"No! Okay, fine, I fuckin do it, just….don't go to Armstrong, you got that?"
Ed inwardly grinned in triumph as Roy flipped Ed to where the chibi's butt hung in the air.
"Can't believe I'm doing this." Roy muttered just before he stuck his pink tongue in Ed's…hole…(A/N-hopefully all of you know what I mean by now…)
Ed's blush brightened as he realized that Roy was actually good at it He tried stifling back the moan…but then it exploded.
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART!
A peculiar stench filled the air, and Roy's mouth was starting to taste funky….then it hit the Fuhrer on what happened.
O.M.F.G. Ed just farted. Roy thought as he tried pulling his tongue from the blonde's as…but…it's stuck!
Ed was blushing at this moment and turned to face his distressed lover.
"Roy, do you need a f-fan or something?" Roy moved his cobalt eyes to glare at him as if to say: Do you really HAVE to ASK?!
Ed hesitantly laughed and clapped his hands together, slamming them against the office's floor, causing a small fan to appear.
"Sorry Mustang." The blonde muttered, looking down. He wasn't all that sure that he'd be able to face the Fuhrer ever again…
SLAM! The noise sounded loudly as a very familiar narcissist homunculus stood in the doorway.
"Fuhrer Bastard, you-you…" Envy sweat dropped at the unusual scene. "Umm….what are you doing to my chibi-chan?"
"He's eating me out." Ed muttered as if it were nothing.
Rage filled the PMSing, bipolar homunculus, as Envy lifted his foot to kick Roy in the ass.
FFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!
Roy slightly blushed and pulled on his gloves. Ed was snickering, and Ed was gagging in shock. Now's my chance! Roy thought, bringing his fingers together.
SNA-BOOM!
Utter chaos erupted at the same time as the flames spinning wildly out of control. Only one thought spun through everyone's head at that moment: Oh Fuck.
And this I how a girly, obsessive, PMSing, bipolar homunculus, a narcissist Fuhrer, and a short alchemist prodigy died.
A/N-Please tell me what you think. Was it funny? Check out Bloodred Magic, and credit goes to Cassandra Kellar (Selenemoon118) and Brittany Stropkai.
