The following day was somewhat different, it felt like it's the last day that I'll ever live or at least something like that. I felt that the sky will fall and the clouds were dark. Unquestionably, the day's just fine as it is; in fact, it's even a clear bright day. It's not the day that's bad today, it's me… I'm the one that's been in a dilemma that's tearing my heart apart in two.

Classes went on normally, although my classmates noticed something different about me, they didn't bother to ask me why though, but in their eyes… it was clear enough already that they wanted to ask me; they all wondered why. I never told them anything about it, they never asked me either, only Chamo is aware about my problem and I'm also the only one that's aware of his problem as well. I received a text message out of the blue… I quickly got my phone in my pocket and read the message; hiding it from the teacher of course.

"Fayt… we're all going to have a seminar this Saturday and all the journalist staff is required to attend the said seminar. The school paid all the necessary things, all we have to worry about is our equipment, transportation and food. Do put in mind that other schools will be in that said seminar and there will be a contest right after the said seminar with a topic yet to be given, nonetheless, we have to prepare everything orderly and precisely. We will have a meeting about that later this afternoon; please do help me inform everyone else about it."

My editor in chief is at it again, she will never change though… always asking me to help her with her dirty work. I wanted to have one of the editorial spots, the Feature Editor, but an unfortunate problem occurred and I was stuck as a writer and an artist, but not an editor. Oh well, I guess that spot was never meant for me… or the other way around… but as a member of the journalist team, I guess it's also a part of my job even if I never wanted it to be. Powerless to do a thing, I just less that as a thing in the past and I quickly scheduled everything for that said seminar even if I still have two more days before the seminar will actually happen.

Surprisingly, Saturday came in quicker than I anticipated it would… but we were all there… the entire journalist team of the school… the editors, writers, and the artist who composed of Jen and Joyce and me. Everyone went on ahead of us while we (the moderator, the editor in chief and I) were stuck in school, waiting for our moderator making all the final checks and for the other editors to arrive too. After a few minutes, we went off to the seminar with my driver driving us, the new members were eager to get the seminar started, while we, the said veterans, were calm about it, since we're used to it all the time.

We got at the seminar on time. My driver dropped us off the entrance of the said building, I took a good look at the building, it was huge, and it was actually a gymnasium… according to our reports, they were expecting at least five hundred participants in the seminar. It's going to be a rough day for all of us though, I'm not expecting it to be easy, although, I really thought that there would be only a few participants. I never attended the last seminar… so, basically, it's my first time there, but not my first time attending a seminar.

An hour during the seminar, Jen was sitting behind me with her sister Joyce beside her. I tried to avoid eye contact, but it was inevitable… but I never said a single word, nor did they say anything to me either. We all acted as if we didn't know each other, better yet, as if we weren't even there. Joyce was busy talking with her fellow classmate, Mik; at least everyone calls her by that name, though I don't have the slightest clue why. I heard that she's a smart girl, as I recall it, when their batch graduated from elementary; her name was in the front page of the school paper saying that she got an honor for that one. Even if I don't know her too much, I do know some sketchy details about her, news about people in school goes on like wildfire, spreading from one place to another. During that time, I kept silent and paid attention with the ongoing seminar, but I just couldn't help to hear Joyce's conversation… more like eavesdropping them.

"My gosh, this seminar's so boring…" Joyce said,

"You don't have to tell me that… it' so boring." Mik replied,

"You wanna go upstairs..? We can see the view up there." Joyce convinced,

"…sure…" Mik confirmed,

"Hold on, I'm going with you..." Jen said.

"…it's better than hearing this boring seminar…" she added,

They soon left the seminar, wondered off to some other place where I figured as much that they were causing havoc in some way… mainly because of the two sisters of course. I turned around and I saw three vacant chairs… which means that Jen's really with them.

I tried to keep my head straight for the sake of the seminar, the reason why I'm there at the first place… I kept myself in place trying to be patient about the seminar, even if it was really boring and quite worthless since I've learned everything the speaker was saying… grammar, the different writing styles, and many others… I've surpassed them all. Nothing left to do but to listen it. Apparently, my hearts speaks out loud enough that my reason for going at the said seminar was not the seminar itself… but Jen.

Suddenly, I heard somebody screamed, although not loud enough for everyone in the seminar to notice it, but loud enough for me to notice it. I knew perfectly that it was Joyce, so I left the rest of the group and went upstairs, the same way where I think that's Joyce, Mik and Jen went. I rushed through as fast as I could, then I was there in the third floor, upon placing my foot at that level, the first thing I saw was the beautiful view in front of me, a real marvel to actually draw it; to sketch it. But that wasn't the reason why I was there… I didn't have time for that art, it was not the time, I need to find Joyce and the others… and fast.

"Fayt, help!" I heard her shout from a distance,

"Fayt, she's gonna get herself killed!" she added,

I turned to my left and on the far corner, I saw Joyce and Mik panicking, and Jen was sitting on the edge of the brim way up on the third floor. I rushed over and demanded that she would go down before she could hurt herself. She looked at me with a very serious look and I looked at her back… with the same serious look she gave me, she was somewhat angry and at the same time, somewhat sad. I kept my eyes aligned with hers, suddenly…

"What do you want..?" Jen said being somewhat snobbish,

"I want you to get down there!" I said sharply,

"What if I don't want to..?"

"Then I'll make you."

"Try me… and I'll kick you right off!"

"…just get down from there will ya?!" I said in a raged tone,

"I'm not stupid to kill myself you know!"

"… then get down from before you could accidentally-"

"Alright!" she shouted.

She didn't say anything after that, all of the sudden, she obeyed and went down. She moved towards me and bumped her shoulder towards mine. She then walked grumpily at the other side of the brim… far away from me, Joyce and Mik.

"What exactly just happened..?" Mik said, puzzled.

"Well… it's kinda hard to explain." Joyce answered,

"I... don't know…" that was all what I could say…

"…why did Jen get angry right away..?" Mik asked in a puzzled tone,

In the depths of my heart I'm more than sure that I felt pain, pain that could forever burden me if I won't do anything. To top it all, our relationship might forever be broken, if I won't make a move right now. Doubts filled me inside… I wanted to talk to her so much, but in fear, I didn't want to talk to her. I can't say exactly how or why, but it's just something that I feel… it's conscience that's keeping me in, but I just never realized that... never.

"I think I should talk to her…" I said to Joyce and Mik out of the blue,

"What..?" Mik said,

"I'll go and talk to her… now." I said,

"No. That's a bad idea." Joyce said,

"Why..?" I instantly asked her,

"…what's wrong if I'll talk to her right now..?" I added,

"You'll just end up hurting yourself…" she said,

"…trust me, I know my sister…"

"Nah, I'll take that risk…" I said… trying to ignore her warning.

I walked towards the other side; towards Jen. I felt my heart beating faster and faster every second, my skin feeling a sense of coldness while my neck feeling somewhat warm; my mind filled with doubts and possibilities how things can go wrong. I took a deep breath and sighed deeply. I gave this single thought and kept it in my mind for that moment alone.

"It's now or never…"

She was looking at the open and wide view, she was all alone and if not depressed, in deep thoughts for the very least. I approached her with all my courage out and at the same time, having some precautions just in case she would react. Fortunately, she didn't mind me at all, I can't say that it's a good thing, but at least she didn't throw anything at me not like we were a year ago. I placed my hands on brim, while we were just inches apart. I started a conversation.

"Jen… are you alright..?" I asked her in a very soft tone,

"What do you what now..?" She said rudely,

"I want to talk…" I answered her… sweetly,

"…and what do you think we're doing right now..?"

"Hey, be serious here a little bit." I said,

"What the hell do you think I'm in right now? Not serious?!" she shouted,

"I never said that-"

"No!" she interrupted,

"Why the heck are you worried about me?" she asked me in a raged tone

"…I don't need you, I don't give a damn for you, I don't care about you… and I want you out of my life!" She shouted in a really abrupt voice.

After hearing those words, I stopped there feeling my heart being crushed so much than what I could take, I even felt that my heart skipped a beat. She moved away from me and she went towards her sister and Mik, without even saying anything else to me. Frustration built up within me as I remember what Joyce warned me. What if I just followed her advice in the first place..? Then this mess wouldn't have happened at all! No, I was but too hard headed to accept that fact and I had to talk to her… Damn it!

I was there… all alone, both of my arms were on the brim and I was frustrated at myself and at Jen as well. Though not that much, it was still a problem in my part nonetheless. I thought long and hard what to do next, if there's still something else good to fix that problem. Deep inside, I felt a lot of anger that hidden rage inside of me blew out, fortunately, I didn't make it too obvious. I looked at the open view… the sky was dark and cloudy. I won't be long before it'll rain… and it suddenly did. I got wet at that moment, but I didn't bother to move at all. As the rain got harder, my frustrations went from bad to worse.

"Fayt… are you okay?" Mik asked.

"Yeah…" I said and gave her a smile, though I never wondered how she got close to me without me noticing it.

"I told you that you'll get hurt." Joyce said… somewhat in a sorry tone.

"It's okay Joyce…" I said to her, still getting wet.

They were safe from the rain since they were not near the brim, as for me, I was there and the rain was going on and on me. They stayed there for awhile and I didn't mind them too much, though they were already aware that I'm hurt badly already. They kept starring at me for a few moments, with their eyes somewhat really worried or something like that.

After a few minutes, they left me there all alone, at the same time, the rain stopped. I lost my sense for the seminar, I lost my feel for the day, and I certainly lost my mood for anything at all. My emotions took the best of me right at the moment that Jen said those words… it went all over inside of my head; those words kept on repeating non-stop.

"…I don't need you, I don't give a damn for you, I don't care about you… and I want you out of my life!"

I wanted to scream out loud… but my conscience was keeping from doing so… I my pride called me out to hold that pain, to show here that I'm strong for the very least. In reality, I'm not even half as strong as I am. I'm weak all over… emotionally.

I slowly went down; back to the seminar. Over there, I just remembered that song… the song that I thought that would fit the moment. "I Just Don't Love You No More" by "Craig David"

Rain outside my window pouring down

What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry

Feeling like a fool cause I let you down

Now it's, too late, to turn it around

I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry

I guess this time it really is goodbye

You made it clear when you said

I just don't love you no more

On the way, I heard Mik, Joyce and Jen talking about something… though, I didn't bother to listen to it too much, and I just went on straight back with the rest of the group. Once there, everyone gave me "the look", as much a I can see to it, they knew that something's wrong with me… well, I would've done the same thing. I mean, what would you do if you saw your fellow journalist all wet and in a grumpy state. I sat down on the same spot that I left; the moderator saw me and talked to me,

"Fayt… what happened..?" she asked,

"… Did you have a fight or something..?" she added,

"No… it's… just nothing." I said,

"…it doesn't sound like it's nothing…" she said,

"…I'll go home in a short while maam… I just don't feel like writing or drawing this time…"

"What..? Are you sure about this..? After the seminar, there's a contest…"

"… Both writing and drawing; on the spot." She stopped,

"I don't think I can do it maam… besides, the two sisters are still there to draw… and you still have a lot of writers and editors here. I'm sure that they can handle it without me." I tried to reason out,

"But we need you for drawings…"

"…I can't. I just don't feel it anymore…"

"Okay then…" she approved…

"… just don't let your problem ruin your life Fayt…" she looked at me, worried.

I quickly got my phone and called my driver to fetch me at exactly twelve noon… at that moment, I still had thirty more minutes before my driver would arrive. All of the sudden, I saw Mik, Joyce and Jen talking to the moderator; I didn't bother it much… nor did I bother them either. I just left that conversation aside as my mind's all messed up with the words that Jen said…

"…I don't need you, I don't give a damn for you, I don't care about you and I want you out of my life!"

Fifteen minutes had past and the seminar was finished… students from different schools started to raise their voices as they were just having a great time with their friends, meeting new friends and I caught a glimpse of one that eventually met her old friend. Even my group was having a great time; the only ones that weren't having a great time were Jen and me. She sat down just behind him… ignoring me at all times, as I did the same thing. I can't blame her though… I guess I was just so stupid. I caught some of my group mates starring at me, and some were looking at Jen, or maybe even both, either way, they were getting somewhere, our secret's getting revealed…

"Jen, you're not going to join the contest this afternoon too?" I heard the moderator said,

"…we can't… we still have to go back to school." Jen replied,

"Why..?"

"…that math thing."

"Well, okay then… but we won't have any artist this seminar…" the moderator said,

"No one? She said in a surprised manner,

"…what about-"

"He's going home as well."

"…so there's no one..?" Jen asked,

The moderator never replied Jen since someone interrupted their conversation, I turned around and it was Liz's mom… and Liz was there as well, a friend of mine that calls me big brother for some reason… she's one of the editors, though just as an assistant, she was an editor nonetheless… and it made me feel kinda jealous about that fact… only if that "incident" never happened… I could've been an editor by now. Experience thought me to accept things… and fortunately, I don't have anything about the person that took my preferred position.

Ten minutes went on slowly and everyone was eating already, I kept a close eye on Jen from time to time, though she's been trying to ignore me, I caught her glancing at me from time to time. Her eyes were still as innocent as ever, her eyes made it clear for me to be happy enough, but her words were also enough to poison me… my heart was in a mix of being happy and angry this time.

"Hey, bro… what are you doing here all alone..?" she said,

"Nothin'…" I lied.

"C'mon… tell your little sis about it…" she convinced,

"Nothing… really…" I said,

"Fine then… tell me if you're ready too…" she said,

"…just don't let your problem get over you Fayt." She ended her sentence with sigh.

I stopped at that moment… it was the same thing what the moderator said to me… Amazed, but not that much amazed though. It's nothing more than just coincidence… that was what it was. Suddenly, Jen stood up and she went with Joyce and Mik, from the part of the main entrance, Mik's mom was there with Jen and Joyce's mom as well. They were going home… and my driver was also present… waiting for me… we all then went home… leaving the contest behind… and as for me… with a broken heart.