Chapter 7: "I'm pretty sure you're going to break my heart."
A/N: I don't own Twilight or its characters; they belong to Stephanie Meyer. This is just what they got up to in my mind.
The song for this chapter is Patience by Take That
My meeting was boring as fuck. I couldn't concentrate on much because my mind kept wandering to my date with Bella tonight. I knew my head wasn't in the game, and Emmett knew it too because more than once he kicked me under the table to prompt a response from me.
After an hour or so, we took a coffee break where Emmett verbally kicked my ass and told me to concentrate and participate if we ever wanted this meeting to end. Given I now had plans for this evening, that was all the incentive I needed to wrap this up. I blamed my lack of caffeine and promised I'd do better now I'd refilled on two cups of coffee in our break.
The rest of the meeting went better, aside from when Emmett caught me looking up local restaurants on my iPad when I was meant to be updating the timeline graph. Still, I produced all the figures and information the client wanted, and shortly before six they signed on the dotted line and went on their merry way. I followed their lead and packed up, leaving quickly to avoid a conversation with Emmett.
I arrived home and immediately jumped in the shower.
My house was a large property considering it was just me living here. It was larger than I needed, but I'd bought it as a rundown, pre-loved home. A renovation project to keep me busy in my down time. I liked knowing all the effort I put into remodeling the house was for me and my future, not for a client or a contract.
I'd completed the downstairs first. I'd fitted a new kitchen with a breakfast bar, wooden flooring, a bay window with a cozy window seat and a dining corner seat rather than the traditional table and chairs. That didn't see too much use though, as I usually sat at the breakfast bar when eating alone. The deck that started at the front of the house wrapped around to the back and could be accessed from a large sliding glass door on the back wall of the kitchen.
I had started remodeling the upstairs and completed my room not long ago, including the en-suite and the new power shower which I was currently unwinding in. I still had a few bedrooms to modernize, but as I had no use for them they weren't a priority. I'd set up a nook downstairs as my office so those rooms could wait.
Usually I had to drag myself out of my luxurious shower, but this time I was keen to get going so I emerged with a towel around my waist as I decided what on earth to wear this evening. Jeans seemed a bit casual but nevertheless I decided to dress down. I didn't want to scare Bella off by dressing for a fancy date, especially when I didn't know what she was expecting from the evening. I grabbed a crisp, nearly new pair of black jeans and matched them with a checked shirt, leaving the top few buttons undone and rolling up the sleeves. I wasn't stupid. I was learning the ways in which Bella liked my body.
As I headed downstairs, I buckled my belt and snapped on my watch before I grabbed a black jacket and threaded my arms into it, leaving the zipper open. I then patted my pockets to make sure I had my phone, keys, wallet, and Bella's money from the diner yesterday. I glanced in the mirror by my front door and ran my hands through my hair to try and tame it, which was a waste of time. No matter what I did, it looked messy so I shrugged and left.
I parked across the street from the diner. As I left my car and turned back to make sure it was locked, I saw Bella exiting her car. Well, I saw her legs first. She was wearing a skirt, and while it was certainly a decent length, it made her legs look a mile long. I took in a deep breath and walked closer to her, reaching her just as she fully exited her car and locked it. Her white skirt was topped with a pink strappy top and a light cardigan, which was open due to the mild weather. As I looked down at her legs again I saw pink and white heels. Really nice pink and white heels.
"You look amazing," I complimented, only then becoming aware that she hadn't seen me coming. This was evidenced by the fact that she jumped, screamed, and dropped her car keys on the ground when I spoke. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." I bent down to get her keys, admiring her legs some more on my way up.
"I didn't see you," she told me quietly, only now taking in my appearance. Her eyes stalled as she looked at the skin exposed by my open shirt buttons. "Umm, hi," she greeted me when she finally pulled her eyes from my chest and looked at me. "You, umm, you look great too," she stuttered, looking embarrassed when she saw my amused face.
I grinned back at her, pleased I could affect her this way. I took her hand and placed her car keys on her palm. "Thanks for coming," I told her sincerely, watching while she placed her car keys in her handbag and pulled it further up onto her shoulder. "Did you have anywhere in mind? I can find a restaurant?" I offered as she bit her bottom lip slightly. That action reminded me of the night we met. That was a good sign.
"It's not far to walk to the waterfront from here. If you want to?" she suggested.
I looked down at her heels. "Are you sure?" I said, my voice sounding doubtful.
"Yeah, it's beautiful there and I never get to go at this time of night," she told me as we set off in the direction of the waterfront. I knew there was a large play park there, a boating lake, and some stalls and vendors, but it wasn't somewhere I visited often.
As we walked I concentrated on the rhythmic click, click, clicking of Bella's heels. I wanted to hold her hand, but as I wasn't too sure how that move would be received, I jammed my hands in my pants pockets to occupy them instead.
I was realizing how long it had been since I'd tried to romance someone. I'd had relationships in the past few years, but no one serious. No one I'd had to chase or impress, and this new world of romance seemed littered with mines about to blow up if I took her hand too soon, or not soon enough. I took a deep breath and reminded myself not to overthink things. I was a smart guy. I had this.
"Something wrong?" Bella asked upon hearing my sigh.
"No, no. I just wanted to do this..." I told her, going for an honest reply as I stretched out my arm and held her hand, threading our fingers together. "Is this okay?" I asked as she looked shocked.
"Uh-huh," she nodded. "You have nice hands," she told me as I grinned at the compliment.
"Is that so? Good chest, good hands…" I trailed off as she gasped, apparently surprised that I'd remembered how she liked my body the one night we'd been together.
"Big head," she added.
"Big…no, I won't go there!" I joked as she raised her eyebrows at me and smiled.
"So, do you go to the waterfront much?" she asked, changing the subject.
"Not really. I know my sister takes her son here to feed the ducks but I haven't been in a while. What about you?"
"I try to come here when I can. I love the water and the park, and this one food stand does amazing hotdogs."
"Yeah? Sounds good, unless you've already eaten?"
"No." We walked along, her shoes clicking on the pavement and my hand gripping hers as we chatted. I told her about my architecture firm and working with Emmett, and asked more about her job. I listened in fascination when she talked with such awe about the children in her class and why she loved being a teacher. Her voice was animated and her eyes were bright, making it easy to see how much her job meant to her.
As we neared the waterfront, it became obvious that it was quite busy here, mainly with families and couples. We gravitated to the small queue in front of the hotdog stand, and I purchased two hotdogs with all the trimmings as well as two cans of soda. I gave Bella a harsh look when she wanted to pay for hers, asking her instead to save a vacant bench nearby.
I joined her a few minutes later with our food and watched the scene in front of us as we ate. On the river bank there were a few older children driving remote-controlled boats, and couples and families taking a ride on paddle boats. The sunlight was beginning to dim around us and we saw families with children packing up and leaving. We chatted a little while we ate, but my main focus was trying desperately not to let my mind wander to more lascivious acts as I watched Bella eat her hot dog. I am a guy after all!
Once we'd eaten and thrown away our trash, I grabbed Bella's hand again and pulled her to the paddle boats.
"Uh, Edward, it will be getting dark soon." She sounded wary.
"Best go now then. Come on. It'll be fun," I teased. It had crossed my mind her legs would look amazing paddling one of these boats next to me, but I also wanted to have fun and to try and help her relax. I paid at the kiosk and climbed into a boat as I offered her my hand. She hesitated, no doubt wondering how to navigate into the boat in her heels, but she took my hand and climbed in, sitting beside me and stretching out her legs to reach the pedals. I was right. They looked amazing.
"So…" I started as we set off away from the shore. "How many times did you think about cancelling tonight?"
Her head shot up to look at me. "What? How? I…" she started as I just grinned at her.
"Bella, you're skittish around me. I know you're holding back from me. There's a reason I haven't given you my number. You might have cancelled if you could," I confessed as she slapped my thigh and tutted at me.
"But what if I needed to cancel?" She pouted slightly as I chuckled.
"Why would you need to cancel?"
"I might have been ill or had an accident. I'm quite a klutz." She shrugged.
"Well, I took the risk that you would remain upright until our date, and it looks like I was right."
"Upright until our date? Why? What happens now?" she teased as I grinned at her innuendo.
"Well, you're almost lying down already," I pointed out.
"That's true. You work fast."
"I think we've already established that." An adorable blush crept up her cheeks, making it difficult for me to look away from her. I watched as her eyes drifted again to the gap in my shirt which revealed a glimpse of my chest. I was pretty sure she was remembering that night, just like I was.
We talked some more as I asked Bella how her day had been before I remembered something important I had to tell her.
"So I talked to my brother last night. I explained that, for your sake and Seth's, we needed him and Rosalie to keep quiet about us."
"Was he okay with that?" Shy, serious Bella was back.
"Yeah. He'll talk to Rosalie when she's back today and they won't mention it at the school gates." In my mind this was totally unnecessary, but I knew how much it meant to Bella when I saw the relief cross her face and the tension from her shoulders drop slightly.
"I wouldn't want to cause Seth any trouble. He's a great kid." Her voice was sincere as I smiled at her.
"Yeah, he is. He's like a mini Emmett. I don't know how Rose copes with both of them. It must be like having two kids sometimes."
"Do you spend a lot of time with Seth?" she asked, surprising me with her question.
"Yeah. My whole family's close, so I see him most weekends. Occasionally I even collect him from school..." I grinned up at her, watching her face turn a now familiar shade of pink.
"Yeah, I noticed that! Well, thanks for talking to your brother." She looked out at the ducks floating by. We were now circling around a grass island in the water, meaning I needed to steer us away from some low-lying tree branches.
I shrugged. "We're close. We talk about most things anyway. He knew I'd been trying to find you. I looked for you on Tanya's Facebook, but you must have some stupid profile picture," I teased as she leant her arm over the side of the paddle boat to wet her fingers before she flicked cold water at me.
"My picture isn't stupid," she informed me as she tried to be serious and not laugh.
"Well, it isn't of you," I reasoned and she nodded.
"No it isn't."
I wondered if she'd elaborate. She didn't.
"I didn't want to interrupt Tanya's honeymoon and ask her about you, but in the end Emmett called Tanya himself. Actually she hasn't called me back. Huh, married life must be keeping her busy," I mused.
"Your family seem very open with each other." Bella noted as she looked up from the calm water and I noticed her eyes settle on my thighs as we pedaled the boat slowly.
"Yeah, I guess we are. We all live near each other and Em and I run our company together, so I see his ugly mug even when I really don't want to!"
My arm was resting on the steering rod in between our seats and I'd noticed, more than once, how Bella's elbow brushed against mine. I saw her glancing down to my hands before she looked away and spoke softly.
"So how long have Emmett and Rosalie been married?"
"Nine years. Most people would think they were nutso to get married at nineteen but they just knew. Anyone who spends time with them can see it too. Seth was a bit of a surprise though. A honeymoon baby. They were twenty by the time he was born. Raising a kid at twenty wasn't what they planned on, but they had each other, and Seth's their world now."
"I can imagine," Bella whispered, looking out to the water before she shook her head to clear her thoughts. "So the prom dancing really did impress Rosalie then?" she joked as I laughed, pleased she remembered that part of our night together.
"Yeah. Shame it doesn't have the same effect on everyone," I whispered as she looked surprised.
"I'd say it had a pretty good effect on me, wouldn't you?"
"I can't read you, Bella. I don't know how you feel," I confessed as we neared another flock of quacking ducks.
"You confuse me too. I'm pretty sure you're going to break my heart." Her voice was serious as I looked at her stunned, wondering if I'd heard her correctly over the noisy birds. My legs stopped moving, the relief in my burning thighs flooding my body as her words flooded my brain.
"Me? I…I have no intention of hurting you, Bella," I stated, dumbfounded.
"No one ever does."
"True," I conceded as my legs started working again, but my brain didn't. I was still confused. "Bella, you kind of have to care about someone before they can hurt your heart."
"I care about you, Edward," she whispered as her small hand came to rest on my thigh, moving up and down with the pedaling motions of my leg. It was the first time she had initiated any physical contact since our night together, and it felt good. "A lot," she added as I placed my hand over hers and held it. It felt good to be touching again, but it made we want more of her.
It was starting to get darker now. The families on the riverbank had lessened considerably during our boat ride so I steered us towards the nearby dock so we could disembark.
"You could have found me," I pointed out softly. "If you care so much."
"I didn't think you'd want anything beyond our one night together."
"Well I did. I do. I think about you all the time, Bella. Did you even think about me?"
"Everyday," she whispered as our boat bumped against the jetty and I steadied it before I stood slowly and stepped onto the wooden deck. I turned back to hold Bella's hand and help her out before we thanked the guy who was mooring the boat. We walked back down the jetty still holding hands.
Spending time with Bella was reminding me why I wanted to find her. Why I wanted more. In the weeks we'd been apart, I wondered if I'd built her up to be more than she was. Maybe I was overthinking our connection and the spark I'd felt. Maybe I was hoping it was there rather than remembering that it was.
However, now that she was here in front of me, telling me she cared about me—I knew that I was right to want her, to want us.
Bella was all that I remembered and more. Sure, she was guarded right now, but everyone had a past. Everyone was fighting their own battles and I couldn't expect her to open up to me when we had only met a few times. Maybe if we started to date and see each other regularly, the rest would fall into place.
I stepped off the main path and headed toward a nearby tree. As I was still holding Bella's hand, she followed until I settled her against the tree trunk and looked at her intently. I brushed her hair off her face.
"You care about me?" My thumbs brushed her cheeks.
"Yes."
"You thought about me?" My fingers rubbed her neck.
"Yes."
"Every day?" My face neared hers.
"Every day." With her firm confirmation, my lips met hers.
Fuck! They were as soft as I'd remembered. Her hair was as smooth as I remembered, and her small moan of surprise was identical to the one I'd been replaying in my mind for weeks.
"What did you think about?" I asked as I pulled back.
"Everything." I remained silent, waiting for more. "Who you were with. What car you drive. Where you work. If you really do sleep topless."
I was stunned. The thoughts she was having were similar to my own. I'd spent far too long over the last few weeks wondering about Bella and her everyday life, her family and friends, her job, even the sleeping topless part had crossed my mind far too often.
"You could know all those things if you just give us a chance." I kissed her neck, unable to resist her soft skin and the ache that was growing deep in my bones. The hope I held about us being together was now building up again, and I was helpless to stop it.
"I'm not sure I really want to know who you were with," she whispered softly as I pulled back and my eyes shot to hers.
"I'm with you," I told her definitively.
She smiled and reached for my neck. Her fingers toyed with my hair as she pulled my head back to her, kissing my lips softly.
"This is unusual for me," she started when we parted. "I don't play games, or have on-off relationships. I'm usually an all-or-nothing person." Her hands dropped to my chest, her fingers stroking the soft cotton of my shirt, venturing up toward my exposed skin but never quite touching me there.
"Well, I don't have all of you," I reasoned with her.
"You don't have nothing either."
We fell into silence as I stroked the soft skin behind her ears with my thumbs, just soaking up the fact that she was finally here with me.
"Do you know how much I've thought about you? How much I've wanted to do this?" I moaned, unable to stop the desperation I felt creeping into my voice.
"I thought you'd forget all about me," she whispered as I scoffed.
"I tried. I wanted to." I dropped my hands to her hips.
"You should," she whispered, even quieter now. Her palms fell flat against my chest as I leaned into her.
"Why?" I asked, kissing down to her neck now.
"Because I'm not what you want."
"Trust me, you are exactly what I want." I groaned as I returned to her lips. My thumbs had found their way under her top to brush the soft skin of her hips. I had to restrain myself though. We were in a public park and I didn't want to ravage Bella the first time we kissed after our reunion.
"We need to stop or I won't be able to walk straight," I moaned as I pulled away from her and enjoyed her carefree laugh at my predicament. "It's not funny. Come on you." I grabbed her hand and we returned to the path by the riverbank.
I could have asked Bella what she meant when she said she's not what I want but she was smiling so widely at me. Her shoulders were relaxed and she was chatty, asking me more about my architecture firm. I didn't have the heart to unsettle her with more questions. I liked the relaxed, happy Bella and now that this Bella had made an appearance tonight I didn't want to chase her away. Besides, she was what I wanted. I wanted her like I'd never wanted any woman before. I could feel it in my bones, and my dick wasn't exactly objecting either.
Bella held my hand as we walked, and I relished in that simple gesture. Before I even knew I was doing it, I noticed my thumb was sweeping over her delicate wrist, my body evidently aching to touch hers in any way possible.
As we continued to wander along, we passed a Tin Can Alley carnival stool. The burly, bearded man behind the counter was shouting in a jovial manner at anyone who walked past and I saw the exact moment he set his sights on us.
"Come on, sir. Win a bear for the little lady?" he suggested, gesturing to the edges of the stool on which were hooked toy animals of every color imaginable. All huge and garish.
Bella studied me and probably saw the indecision on my face. I knew these games were often rigged, but how hard could it be to knock down a few cans?
"You don't have to. Come on." She tugged at my arm.
I stood still and patted my back pocket before I withdrew the money in there. I held the cash up between our faces. "This is the money you tried to pay for coffee with yesterday," I informed her, taking in her look of surprise.
"Why didn't you just use it then?"
"Because I wasn't raised to let a woman I like buy her own coffee," I explained as she raised her eyebrows at me.
"But you were raised to spend money on fairground games that you can't win?"
"Can't win? Wow, you wound me, Bella!" My hand clutched at my chest as I continued. "You've laid down the challenge now!"
I handed the correct money to the now beaming, burly, bearded man behind the stall who, in turn, gave me three small, heavy balls.
"Knock down all the cans in one stack to win a prize," he explained as I nodded. I'd figured that out when I was six and Emmett and I set up our own Tin Can Alley at the local Scouts fundraiser.
My first ball knocked off the top can.
Not bad.
For my second ball, I took a step closer to the stall and swung my arm back further before swooping it forward and releasing the ball.
All but one of the cans fell.
One can left.
One ball left.
I looked at Bella who was watching me intently with a smile on her face.
"I've already picked out my animal so make this throw a good one!"
I pulled a face at her before I cracked my neck and focused on the last remaining can. I launched the ball in the same manner as the previous throw but this time with even more force. I was rewarded with a loud thwack sound as the ball hit the can, and a satisfying crash as the tin can hit the dusty floor.
"Ha ha!" I celebrated gleefully, raising my arms in victory as I turned to Bella. Surprisingly her focus was on the skin that was now exposed by my raised shirt, but a second later her eyes met mine and she grinned. "Pick a bear m'lady." I bowed slightly in front of her and relished in her soft laugh, pleased that I could make her looked so happy.
She pointed to the top right corner of the stool, to a stuffed animal I hadn't even noticed.
"The dinosaur please," she told the stall holder as he nodded and grabbed a pole with a hook at the end to fetch the toy Bella had selected.
"A dinosaur? Really?" I was surprised by her choice.
"Yep. Thanks, Edward," she beamed as she stood on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on my cheek.
We continued on, having now completed a full circuit of the river, which meant we were on the walk back to our cars. Bella hugged the dinosaur under her arm as she shivered slightly in the breeze which had picked up over the past hour. Now the darkness was drawing further in, the evening was getting chilly.
"Here," I slipped my jacket off and held it open for her.
She smiled up at me, her eyes soft and warm. "I can't, you'll be cold," she warned me.
"Nah, wear it, please."
She slid her arms in and hugged the light jacket around her front.
"Doesn't quite match my shoes."
"Hey, don't hate on the shoes. I like them." I wiggled my eyebrows, making her chuckle at me.
"Thought you might," she replied, making hope rise in my chest again. Her admission that she was wearing her heels knowing I'd like them told me that my feelings weren't as one sided as I'd feared.
As we approached our cars, we slowed down until we were stood in front of Bella's driver's side door.
I didn't know what to say. I wished, not for the first time tonight, that I was smooth and knew all the right words to say, but I didn't, so I just leaned into her and gently brushed her hair away from her face. Her deep brown eyes met mine as I lowered my lips to hers but started talking before they connected.
"Bella…" My voice sounded husky and strained. God, this woman drove me mad. "Do you want to come back to my place? I don't want this night to be over." The truth was I was worried about when I'd get to see her again.
"Will there be kissing involved?" she asked as my lips touched hers gently and formed into a grin.
"That's up to you," I whispered making her take a deep breath. I felt the stubble on my chin rub against her lips before I drew my head back slowly.
"Lead the way," she told me once our eyes met again.
I didn't need telling twice. I reached into my pockets and withdrew my keys as I swung them from my index finger while Bella watched.
"It's not far," I told her as I heard her car lock disarm.
"Good." She opened her car door and I jogged hastily to my nearby car.
A/N: I have a few people to thank:
Thanks to anyone who has read this. Please let me know what you think. Also, thank you to those who have taken the time to write a review, your words are very much appreciated.
Thank you to my beta Lellabeth. I'm truly honored that she would give up her time to beta this little story. Any mistakes are mine because I tinker with this story all the time. Thanks to SarcasticBimbo for giving me her time and opinions when she pre-reads this.
Also this fic came in the top five Fic Dive Fic's for September over at A Different Forest. Thanks to anyone who voted.
