Slowly into the Light
Chapter 6
Disclaimer: see chapter 1
A/N: Okay, I think I may be back on my train of thought, keep your finger's crossed. Sorry it has taken so long, I hope you guys are still with me. This will be a slow process I hope to be back in the grove of this story soon and hope to post weekly. Thank you to everyone who has kept up with me and never gave up on me, I appreciate it. Well here we go.-Montez
A few hours later found the two FBI Profilers sitting a small Italian restaurant, Dave watching as Aaron pushed his food around, occasionally taking small bites. The younger man had been silent since the scan and visit with Dr. Simpson. When Rossi had met him in the waiting room, hanging around this time instead of just dropping him off, Hotch had said nothing, but Dave could tell he was trying to process whatever he had been told. Noticing the Unit Chief's normally stoic expression made it really hard for Dave to even try to figure out whether the information was good or bad.
"Well?" Dave was getting tired of waiting.
Again the unreadable expression that Hotch wore so much was present. "She's allowing me to return to desk duty the day after tomorrow, but I go back in a week to see about field duty."
"Were you given any time frame concerning the pain, and don't think I haven't noticed that you haven't taken the pain medication since yesterday afternoon." Rossi took a drink, again trying to watch for any signs that his friend was holding something back.
Taking a deep-breath, wanting Dave's little interrogation to be over Aaron looked up, "I've got drops to help with the healing of my ear-drum, as well as drops for the pain, if I need them."
Motioning the waitress for the check Dave noticed some of Aaron's exterior slip as the younger man closed his eye's, rubbing his forehead, "Don't try and ignore it Aaron, it will only take you longer to heal if you do." A subtle nod was Dave's only indication that Hotch was listening, Rossi paid the tab and the two men left.
Pulling up in front of Hotch's apartment building Dave shut the engine off, turning slightly to look at his friend. "Are you sure you're gonna be okay? You're more than welcome to stay with me a little longer." However Dave already knew the answer and it was only punctuated by the fact that Aaron had unbuckled his seatbelt.
"I appreciate everything you've done, but since I've been okayed to head back to the office, I think its best this way and like I mentioned before, I need some time to myself." Opening the door Hotch stepped out, reaching into the back to retrieve his bag.
"Please, just call if you need anything, if not me then at least call Morgan. You don't have to go through this alone." Dave gave it one last attempt to keep the fragile communication lines open, still worried that his little outburst from the night before was what was contributing to the younger man wanting to return home.
"Thanks Dave." Hotch said as he closed the door and headed into his building. Dave watched until his friend disappeared into the shadowed interior of the complex. Reluctantly he turned on the ignition, put the vehicle in gear and headed back toward his place.
An uncontrolled weariness seemed to over take Hotch as he slipped his key into the door and pushed it open. Dropping the keys on the table just inside, then placing his go bag on the floor next to the same table, Aaron made his way over to his recliner, sitting heavily. The last two days that he had been at Dave's he hadn't slept much, the nightmares of that night not allowing it. All he could see was Kate's bloody form lying in the middle of that street with rescue crews helplessly sitting at the end of the block. Looking at his hands he could still see and feel the dying agent's blood that had covered them completely.
Hotch had known, somewhere deep in his soul, when he had turned Kate on her side to find the source of the bleeding and could see what appeared to be her spine exposed through the torn flesh of her back that the woman before him wasn't going to make it. He remembered pushing that thought from his head as he pinched off the bleeder that he could see, then desperately tried to keep his friend awake until helped arrived. Panic set in when he had tried to move her, to carry her to safety, and she had lost consciousness. He remembered a moment of relief in the ambulance when she called his name; only for the medic turned UNSUB to start shouting that he was losing her.
His last image of Kate before he found her lifeless body in the OR was of the Bomber, playing medic, straddling her as he did compressions on her while the ER doctors rushed her toward surgery. It was at that moment his world started to tilt as his own injuries started to demand his attention, causing him to collapse in the middle of the emergency room.
The vision of Kate's pale, lifeless face filled his mind as her eye's opened, "Aaron?"
Hotch startled awake, the sound of Kate's voice echoing in his head as he rubbed his hands over his face, leaning forward in his chair. An overwhelming sense of nausea suddenly caused him to rush toward the restroom, emptying what little he had eaten at lunch. Flushing the toilet Aaron allowed himself to sit back against the tub, closing his eyes as he tried to stop the shaking that came with the vomiting. Reaching toward his collar he loosened and removed his tie, unbuttoning the two top buttons of his shirt. It was only then that he realized he still had his suit coat on, leaning up slightly he haphazardly removed and tossed it, with his tie, into the corner of the bathroom.
Giving himself a minute, Hotch finally pushed himself up, grabbing onto the sink for stability. For the first time since the explosion he really looked at himself in the mirror; small cuts and bruises littered his face, near his eyebrow and chin. But what startled him more was the dark circles that had formed around his eyes and the pale, drawn, and exhausted expression that looked back at him. Aaron couldn't remember a time he had ever looked this bad, "No wonder everyone seems so worried about me." He mumbled to himself.
Rinsing his mouth out, he slowly made his way toward his room. He removed the rest of his suit, changing into pajama pants and a tee-shirt, before climbing into bed, sleep claiming him before his head hit the pillow.
Morning came before daybreak as the nightmares continued to interrupt the sleep his body was so desperately craving. With so little rest his mind was slightly fuzzy and his body ached more, the bruises slowly starting to fade, but the soreness remaining. Making his way toward the bathroom, Hotch turned on the shower as hot as he could stand it and stepped in, allowing the water to run over his face, over his head and down his back and chest, the heat offering some relief from the soreness.
Not knowing how long he had been in there, Aaron only stepped from the shower when the water turned tepid, then slowly got dressed in a pair of sweats and a tee-shirt. Running his hand over the fogged up mirror he again noticed the exhausted, weary look that stared back at him. Rubbing his face he decided that he would ignore his morning routine of shaving as he ran the towel over his head, removing the water beads that were dripping down the side of his face.
Taking a step from the bathroom he put his hand on the wall in the hallway as a pain shot through his head, radiating from his ear. A few deep breaths and his stubbornness had him ignoring it as he slowly walked into the kitchen to make some coffee. Grabbing an over the counter pain killer he took one more than the recommended dose, having thrown away the prescription pain-killer, not liking the effects it had on him. Then he poured a cup of coffee, sitting on the stool near the counter as he tried to decide what he was going to do for the day.
Looking at the clock on the wall he noticed that it was nearing seven, he slowly made his way back to his room, coffee cup in hand, to get dressed for the day. Once dressed in jeans and a pull-over he picked up the phone, remembering to put it up to his left ear, and dialed the familiar number, after a couple rings an all too familiar voice picked up.
"Hello"
Taking a deep-breath Aaron spoke, "Haley?"
Though they had been separated for several months they had kept their relationship on good terms for Jack's sake. Even though it had been hard on them both, Haley did make an effort to allow Aaron to see Jack when he could, but it was unusual for her to get a call from her ex-husband this early in the morning on a weekday. With an uneasy feeling that she would get on the occasions that Aaron had been hurt or a case was unusually bad Haley answered, "Aaron?" when after a couple seconds he didn't answer her worry spiked, "Aaron, are you all right?"
She could hear him breathing on the other end of the line so she knew he hadn't hung up, but the longer it took him to answer the more concerned she became that she should try and call someone from his team, to see what was going on. The Aaron she knew was a strong man, unwavering man. Someone who rarely showed weakness, but as she heard him clear his throat she felt a spike of fear she hadn't had since Boston.
"I don't know." Those three, nearly whispered words had Haley standing up, heading for her purse to retrieve her cell phone, she still had Agent Jennifer Jeauru on speed-dial in case she ever had to get a hold of Aaron incase of an emergency.
"Aaron, where are you? Are you hurt? You're scaring me." Haley's finger was just about to hit the key to contact JJ when Hotch answered.
"I'm at home, can…can I come over? I need to see Jack." The pleading that was so unnatural in his voice had Haley walking toward Jack's room to check on her still sleeping son.
"Of course Aaron." The young woman trying to hide the worry in her voice.
"I'll be there soon, thank you Haley." With that the line disconnected, leaving Haley holding an empty line. Looking at her son, then thinking about his father, Haley knew something must have happened over the past week since she had last seen her ex-husband to have him sound so shaken, so empty.
