Viva la Chairolution!
A/N: NOW I get to start MY REAL STORY!
Chapter 7: Meanwhile, in Japan…
As the guy chairs were done making out with the girl ice chairs from the ruined snow village, Hayden realized something.
This story had gone nowhere.
'This is a big problem…We need to actually be DOING something!' He thought to himself.
Various ideas raced through his head.
'Checkers? No. Pointless fight scenes? Kind of. World Domination? Hell yeah.'
So he decided to join the last two together into one big fun pooper-scooper pile of chair.
AKA: World domination with lots of pointless fight scenes.
So he voiced his plan. "Hey, Everybody! Let's go and kick the world's ass!'
Needless to say, everyone was on board.
But there was one question.
Well, two actually.
First: Where would they go first?
Second: How does one find their way out of the blizzard that froze everyone's nips off?
Oak had the solution. "HEY, ALL CHAIRS AND ONE HUMAN! I KNOW WHAT TO DO!"
….
Every chair leaned forward…
Oak took a deep breath, "LET'S GO DEEPER!"
"Oh hell yes!" One chair cried.
"That's what I'm talking about!" Another yelled out.
So the Awesomesauce Chairbot began it's awesome transformation….
…into a chrill.
Do you know what a chrill is?
You should, because I aint explainin dat poo-poo to yoooooooooooo!
So when the chairbot finished its transformation, it stuck the top of its arms into the dirt, began to spin violently, and shot down into the earth.
###
As they were heading into the earth, the chairs were talking amongst themselves.
"Where do you think we'll go?"
"Not too sure. Maybe the place called America?"
"Maybe. I actually think we'll end up in some really stupid place."
"Possibly. Where exactly would that weird place be though?"
The chair thought about it.
"Probably Japan." He answered.
The other chair had to agree with him.
That place had some weird shit.
###
As the chairs were chilling in the brain of the chairbot, they all heard an announcement from the intercom.
"Ahem…Is this thing on? Ok, now I don't really know where we're coming up at, so I would recommend what I'm about to say to all chairs."
"Take this as directions from me, Oak."
"Hold onto your butts."
Just as she finished that last little line, the chairbot shot out of the ground like a dump after eating a crap-ton of cheese.
The chairs were freaking out.
"OH MY CHAIRSUS WE'RE GONNA DIE!"
"I JUST WANTED TO SEE THE CHAIR DIMENSION!"
"I JUST PREORDERED A PS4! NOOOOOOOOOO!"
Different flavors of statements like that were thrown about the inside of the collective mind.
The chairbot was airborne for about 10 seconds; all the while chairs were screaming their little tushies off.
Then the screaming came to a halt as the massive goliath of chairs slammed into the ground.
"Ouch…" Everyone said in perfect unison.
As the chairbot sat up and looked around, everyone noticed that someone totally called it.
They were in Japan.
###
As the chairbot walked around the island of Japan, the chairs were quickly discussing their options.
"I don't see any monsters in Japan." Oak stated before the massive collection of high-quality school chairs and a couple of ice chairs.
Hayden added, "She's right, the monster chairdar hasn't pinged or anything."
This left the chairs and human in quite a pickle.
"Hey…" The lone human started.
"Why don't we just…kill off the rest of the humans?"
Brilliant idea buddy.
First you agree to kill off the monsters of the world.
Now that you know for some reason, every monster in existence was located at that school you destroyed (LOL totally), all of a sudden you want to kill every human!?
"Yes. Now shut up narrator. Go back to making out with a character that you abducted from this story."
FINE! (proceeds to go pout in a corner until a good moment to speak up arrives)
"Now, who's with me!?"
"All the chairs, everywhere!" Screamed the fanatical sitting devices.
###
As the chairbot lumbered towards the nearest city, something didn't seem right.
For one, the realistic graphics of…real life, were changing into…anime style.
"Oh crap. Not this!" Hayden yelled.
Then all of a sudden, an extremely muscular blonde-haired man that was flying began to charge for a signature attack that ottakus everywhere would recognize.
"Kame….hame….HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
The chairbot took the entire attack to the face, the beam ripping through its head and destroying the aimbot hack.
Oh no he didn't.
He did not just destroy the very thing which made the chairbot a chairy stu.
The chairbot decided to retaliate when blonde man started to charge another turtle destruction wave.
As the son of a father of a monkey race started his traditional charge line again, every chair in the chairbot began to mimic his motions and words.
Except they changed them a bit.
The chairs yelled together, "CHAIRY…CHAME….CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
The chairbot thrust its hands forward, shooting a massive death beam made of…chairs.
The two beams collided, killing half of Japan in the process.
The energy was incredible, with chairnergy being shot out for hundreds of miles.
The weremonkey man was struggling against the collective nonsense of the colossal colossus.
He was also distracted because chairs kept walking up to him and slapping him in the face.
They all said something about how rude he was for shooting big blue lasers at them.
As the chairbot and space-man were continuing in their laser struggle that seemed to last so long you could go watch the very excellent series, Hellsing Ultimate all the way through, the man-who-should-be-fat-because-of-how-much-food-he- eats-holy-balls went super saiyan 4.
Oh crap.
The chairbot started to lose against the sheer power of the super saiyan.
Actually, it looked like the chair's campaign was about to be cut short.
Time for a rescue-card.
Hayden screamed out of the chairbot, "JAPANESE ELVIS! WE NEED YOU!"
Out of nowhere, a guy with one of the coolest haircuts I've ever seen appeared on the shoulder of the struggling chairbot.
"You called?" He said with the perfect coolness.
"YES!" Hayden yelled to him.
"HELP US AGAINST THIS OP GARY STU!"
"Sure thing."
Now no one quite knows what exactly happened, but something did.
The monkey-man was actually disintegrated by the sheer cool of the Japanese Elvis.
"Anything else?" He asked with pure suave in his voice.
Hayden was star struck, "You know…I might just go gay for you. Hey Narrator!"
Yeah?
"Save this dude. He's too cool to die."
Okay, no problem.
A big hand shot out of the sky, snatched the awesome dude, and went back to the narrator's dimension.
"He was awesome…" Oak and Hayden dreamily stated.
But Oak noticed something. "Hey, wait! Half of Japan is still alive!"
Hayden had the solution.
Take a guess…
The chairbot charged up the chairychamecha and shot it straight at the rest of Japan and destroyed everything else.
…
Well, not before they rescued the sushi-chairs and saw the rest of the weird, tentacle-related stuff there was in Japan.
So as the chairs and 1 human were chilling in the chair bot, eating sushi made by the finest chushi chefs around, they all made up their mind.
When this was over, they were going to make a Chapan.
###
A/N: I feel absolutely drained when I finish these things. Anyways, leave a review and a fav if you liked it! It lets me know that people look forward to reading my story.
P.S: This crap right here is the longest sentence I've ever seen.
Religion and politics
Often make some people
Lose all perspective and
Give way to ranting and raving and
Carrying on like emotional children
They either refuse to discuss it with reason,
Or else they prefer argumentum ad hominum,
Which is a hell of a way to conduct a discussion
Well, anyhow, not long ago,
I was talking about the elections,
And how the campaigns were ignoring the issues,
And sticking instead to invective and personal crap
That had nothing to do with the substantive problems of running a government,
Which is all true, as you know
If you followed the speeches and so-called debates of the candidates
Anyhow, one of the guys I was talking with
Said not a word in the whole conversation
Except at the end when he suddenly chuckled
And said we were all full of shit,
And why didn't we go live in Russia or China
If that was the way we all hated the United States Of America
Next thing you know the whole blooming discussion
Was more like a brawl, And the epithets flew thick and fast,
And the noise was incredible
Someone said "son of a bitch",
And I think he said "bastard"
I couldn't be sure, it was all so confusing
Well, anyhow, I was attempting
To get it all back on a rational level
I tried, for example, to talk to the one who had started it all,
And I asked him just what did he mean we were all full of shit
Was he making a statement of fact as he knew it,
And where was his documentation to back up his claim?
I think Socrates would've been proud of the way I refuted his argument
That is, I tried to refute it,
But all he could offer by way of rebuttal was more of the same
About how we were all full of shit
But he wouldn't say why,
He just kept on repeating it,
That and the part about Russia and China
And communist dupes, and I'll have to confess
That I got a bit angry and told him to stuff his ideas up his ass,
Which you don't have to tell me is hardly a way
To convince anyone in an argument
Then he got salty and threatened to give me
A punch in the mouth if I didn't shut up,
And I really got hot,
And the others did too,
And we all beat the shit out of mister conservative
And, after all, he had only himself to be blamed
This is still a free country, And anyone telling a fellow like me,
"Brother, you're full of shit",
Better be good and ready
To answer politely
When asked if he'd care to say why!
