Anybody else have "Jenny (867-5309)" stuck in their head from the last chapter? No? Just me? Okay…

Anyone catch the AVPM reference? No…yeah, I'm too subtle for my own good haha

Anyway, thank you to everyone who's given this story a chance and given feedback and just for being awesome! I hope you're still with me, enjoying the (bumpy) ride!

Heads up: time jumps in this one: opens with a flashback, then returns to normal timeline. Enjoy!

It's gettin' cold. I'm gonna be grounded. This was a bad idea.

These thoughts kept runnin' through my head like a mantra as I cried, pressing a hand to my cheek where The Coon's claws had broken skin. My aluminum foil gloves were torn to shreds at my feet and my enemy had long run off. Even General Disarray left—it was past his bedtime.

All and all, things were not lookin' good for Professor Chaos.

My plan had been simple: I was on a mission to find and recruit stray animals that would do my bidding. Imagine, ferocious beasts that I could release into the world to bring on chaos and destruction! I'd tried using my hamsters before, but they kinda wandered off, so I thought that maybe an attack dog would be better. Of course, I didn't actually find an attack dog. I found a squirrel. And squirrels aren't real good at doing my bidding.

And then The Coon showed up. I was already headin' home after my foiled plot, but he beat me up anyway. He cut open my face and ripped the aluminum foil on my costume and then left after laughin' in my face.

So I wasn't in the best state when I heard a rustlin' sound from a nearby bush. Boy, I was really hopin' it was my squirrel minion comin' back to check on me. The other possibilities were too scary for my nine-year-old brain to entertain.

Instead, a small figure cloaked in black and purple darted out from behind the bush and ran to my side, strikin' an action pose while he glared at me from behind his mask. His expression looked fierce and it struck terror inta my heart.

"Oh, M-Mysterion, don't beat me up!" I pleaded, tears runnin' down my face. "I'm not doin' nothin', I swear! And The Coon already—"

"The Coon did this?" he asked in his gruff voice. "I should have known." He reached out to touch my face. I tried to move away, but he was much faster. He grabbed my chin and forced me to face him. His brow was furrowed; he was concentrating. "Don't move," he ordered.

He reached for his utility belt and I winced. "Please, Mysterion," I whimpered. I just wanted to go home, I really didn't want to see what kind of torture devices he had on him. He gripped my arm to keep me from moving. I closed my eyes.

"This might sting a bit." I cried out as somethin' brushed my face and the cuts burned. "Hold still!" He said, soundin' kinda impatient. "Jesus Christ, don't be a baby." Next thing I knew, somethin' soft was being pushed against my face. When I raised a hand to feel it, I recognized the plastic-y mesh feel of a Band-Aid. I opened my eyes to find Mysterion standin', shovin' the wrappers into his pocket. "Sorry about the design, my sis—my, uh, ward is going through a unicorn phase." I blinked at him, dumbfounded. He held out a hand to help me up.

"Why?" I asked as I took it, rightin' myself.

"I don't know, little girls are into that kind of thing."

"N-no, not the Band-Aids." I shook my head. "Why are you helpin' me?"

He blinked. "Because that's what I do."

"But I'm a villain." I said, confused.

"You needed help," He stated simply.

"But I thought bein' a hero was all about beatin' bad guys up a-and takin' name?"

He chuckled darkly. "Well, to The Coon, it might be. But being a real hero is about justice."

"Justice?" I scratched my head. "No, see, Professor Chaos is on a mission to e-exact vengeance on a world that wronged him! And Mysterion and the other heroes are s'posed to stop me, not help me."

"Exactly, you're all about vengeance, I'm all about justice."

I shook my head. "I still don't get it, what's the difference?"

Mysterion sighed and backed up, ready to leave, but before he turned, I jumped, tacklin' him to the ground and pinnin' his arms above his head. "You are foolish, Mysterion!" I cackled. For a split second, right before he threw my off him and sent me flyin' threw the air, I swore I saw a faint smile on his face.

xxx

"Loo loo loo, I got some apples…" I was in a pretty good mood as I rooted through my locker, searchin' for that history book. I was plannin' on doin' some last minute studyin' before my test. "There you are!" I put the book into my bag and shut the locker door, nearly jumpin' outta my skin when I found Eric loungin' against the wall right behind it. "Oh, hamburgers, Eric, you scared me!"

"Hello, Butters," he said with a devilish smile. "How was your weekend?"

"It was pretty good," I said cheerfully. "You know, after you dropped me off on Sunday, I mostly did chores and homework. Thank you for takin' me to the party, though, it sure was a blast!"

"I bet it was." He smile got bigger. "Say, uh, where'd you run off to Saturday night? I seemed to have lost track of you after midnight. Thank God Clay found you, I was worried sick!"

"Oh, I'm really sorry about that, Eric!" What was I thinkin'? I'd been real inconsiderate, leavin' Eric all alone at the party. "Somethin' just came over me, I-I dunno what I was thinkin'. I a-actually stay-stayed the night with Clay…"

He eyes widened innocently. "You did? Oh, Butters, I had no idea! You and Clay…?"

"Yeah…" I looked down at my feet, bashful. "Honestly, I didn't mean to, somethin' just k-kinda came over me and, well, would you mind not tellin' anybody about this? It's a little embarrassin', and I don't want anyone gettin' the wrong idea."

"Oh, well, that's a shame, Butters." I looked up at his serious tone. "You, see, I've already told everybody." He was smilin' ear to ear. My heart dropped inta my stomach. I glanced around at the other students in the hall and noticed a few 'a them were starin'. Red was even whisperin' to Wendy while she looked right at me.

"Oh no…" I whispered. My hands started shankin' with nerves and I began bumpin' them together.

"That's not all, Butters," he giggled. "You see, I'm sure people might be a bit doubtful about my story. Although I not sure why, everybody knows slut is contagious, and Kenny's about the biggest pathogen of promiscuity in South Park!" He waved his hand. "But that's neither here nor there. See, here's the thing, Butters, a couple of rumors about a crazy one-night-stand is one thing." He reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like several Polaroid's. "Scandalous pictures documenting the event being blown up and plastered around the school and, perhaps, sent to your dear parents, well, that's another thing."

I was floored, glued to the spot as he held up pictures of a night that I had only a fuzzy recollection of, at best. I felt like cryin' right then. Eric was right, the rumors I could handle, but my parents could never hear about this. Much less see proof of their own son doin' the nasty with a stranger, ridin' him, naked, mouth open in a cry of pain or pleasure or whatever it was. "W-why?" I choked out as I watched Eric pocket the incriminatin' pictures.

He smiled darkly. "Because, Butters, nobody beats up Eric Cartman—especially not some fairy like you. So if you don't want your dear old mom and dad, along with everyone else to find out about your dirty little secret, you're gonna make sure you stay on my good side." And with that, he turned on his heal and walked away. All I could do was stand there, pale white and a bit nauseous, my test forgotten, just tryin' to figure out how things had gone so wrong, so fast.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Kenny starin' at me again, a hardened, though almost expressionless look on his face. He and I were the only ones left in the hallway. It was a golden opportunity, and if I wasn't currently bein' blackmailed to the hilt, with my life fallin' in around me, I'd have been so happy to have a chance to talk to him again. But I knew the reason he was starin', kinda like he couldn't believe what he was lookin' at. I felt shame wash through me.

It was strange, because just a minute before, I hadn't felt bad about what I'd done. I'd barely given it a second thought. But with the threat of my parents finding out…I just couldn't handle it. My dad would be so angry and my mom…my poor mom would never be able to look me in the eye. It might even send her off the deep end again.

And now Kenny was starin' at me, eyes fixed. He looked disheveled, with hallow cheeks and a gaunt complexion. Come to think of it, he looked down right awful. His over-sized clothes made him look even skinnier that usual, his hair was greasy and messy, he had huge bags under his eyes, and his pupils were tiny. His shoes were even in bad shape. I wanted to tell him to take a picture, 'cause it'll last longer, but I couldn't quite get my voice workin'. When I finally did, all I could muster was a weak, "Where'd your shoelaces go?" He just blinked at me slowly and turned around, walkin' down the hall and out the door without a single glance behind him.

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