CHAPTER SIX:
"HINATA HYUUGA'S DIARY"
(ENTRY 912)
I remember.
I saw him first. It was always I, who saw him first.
Naruto-kun.
I began this diary on the day he left. I recall that day vividly. I remember the guilt and the shame and the rut I felt towards myself. I began this diary in the hope that I might summon a cause or confidence; that I might will my destiny His way. I feel accomplished for a moment and I savour it.
He's back—Naruto-kun...
My heart flutters as his eyes shift across and around the street ways. I feel pink to my cheeks. My chest is heavy and my stomach is doing somersaults; it feels like there's an entire zoo partying away inside me. The sides of my lips feel like they've got fishhooks in them; I smile unconsciously.
I had yet to know Naruto-kun; yet, in a way, perhaps I'd always known him. He only knew the cherry's blossom and it's never-ending seasons. When would my season begin? When does the time of Hinata begin?
Toward the sun…
He was always mine. My light; my saviour; my hero.
When would I be his for a change. Will there ever be a time?
Perhaps…perhaps not.
Could there ever be a time that this Hinata blooms himawari; the sun giving life to the sunflower?
I remember. I am just a little girl with little girl ambitions. My feelings are immature. My love has no merit. My eyes do not see. My heart should not cry.
Then why?
Why, every day, every night; every hour; every minute; every second; every moment the sun and the moon rise to their peak?
Why does my heart cry?
Mama would know.
Mama is not here now.
Papa is not Papa. Papa is Father. Father cannot know. Father is brute and tough, like steel. Father is as unflinching as hatred. Papa is as warm as the sun. Father is as cold as the night.
I saw Naruto-kun after a long two-and-a-half years; two-and-a-half years filled with aching and longing and second-guessing.
I was often one to second-guess myself. I was often shy. I was often the embarrassed one.
I hated myself.
I wish I could be strong, like Naruto-kun. I wish I could shine as beautiful as the cherry blossom's pink petals penetrating through His periwinkle perspective.
"Ahh, Naruto, you've grown so much," I heard her say.
You truly have, Naruto-kun.
You have grown.
Your hair is longer; I love your long hair even more. Your whiskers, those cute little lines; I used to think you drew them onto your face. Now I understand why. I see you, Naruto-kun. I see. They say my eyes don't, but I know they do. I can see what's real inside of you. I know who you are, and I know what you mean to me.
You are everything under the sun. Let me hold you. I'll never let you go.
I promise—
But what's this?
Your eyes…
Your eyes are different now. Your eyes are not warm, your eyes are sharp, like Mama's senbon. Your eyes are cold and distant, like Father. Your smile does not reach your eyes. What's wrong Naruto-kun? What are you hiding?
I notice the unusual lack of bright orange. What happened to your favourite jumpsuit? Perhaps it simply took too much damage during training—oh, Naruto-kun, why do you push yourself so hard? I'll work even harder now so that I can be strong enough for the both of us.
You dress like Jiraiya-sama. Your garbs are dark, your robes even darker. The only light part of you is your skin and—
Bandages? White-wrappings…they lead under your garbs. Did you hurt yourself, Naruto-kun?
You are mummified to the tips of your fingers, I can see the white-tape unravelling under your gloved palms.
I could use my byakugan—
I shouldn't.
That wouldn't be right.
You're leaving—no you can't leave me again!
I see you follow along, back in pursuit of the eternal and unending beauty of the cherry blossom tree.
I feel confidence rise in me.
You've just returned home, Naruto-kun. Perhaps this time around, I'll have the strength to confess myself to you. I beat myself day after day after day when you left, for not having enough courage or strength or GUTS to tell it all to you then. But that's okay.
You're here now. Maybe now I can show you that I'm not afraid. I can show you how much I love you. I can prove to you my nindo:
I NEVER GIVE UP!
CHAPTER END.
A/N: I've got the next four chapters lined up. Here's their titles as a teaser for what's to come (the title's will be relevant to the content within the proceeding chapters)
Chapter 07: "Motherly Instincts"
Chapter 08: "Hide The Princess"
Chapter 09: "Save The Princess"
Chapter 10: "Tanuki Dreams"
I will be writing them out and will publish them all hopefully by the end of next week. I hope y'all are enjoying so far.
CHAPTER 07: "MOTHERLY INSTINCTS" TEASER:
(the following is an excerpt of CHAPTER 07)
She knew.
Somehow. Someway. Some feeling. It just sparked inside her and she knew. It wasn't a guess or a hunch or a psychic anomaly of any sort.
She simply knew.
So when she heard the hinges on her door whine and creak; and when she saw the door slowly swing open; she knew the visitor—or visitor's—before she even caught sight of them.
