Ack. Totally forgot to update on time again! Definitely a fail. But hopefully you will like this chapter all the same! And maybe even leave a review? We'd appreciate that so, so much!
Chapter Six
Would It Be A Sin?
I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes, praying that it could be that easy to just shut the emotions out.
I'd been trapped in Volterra for... I'd lost count. And it wasn't that I'd been there for so long that I'd simply lost count but that every single day I was trapped in this place, this wretched, awful place, felt like an eternity. So I'd simply stopped counting the days.
Everyone here was so malevolent. They never acted anything less than courteously towards me, but it didn't matter how they acted. I could feel it. I could always feel it. And it wasn't that these destructive, terrible emotions were aimed at me. It was quite the opposite, it was always aimed at the humans and ever since I'd been here I couldn't understand why. There was nothing terribly interesting about humans, nothing terribly great or evil. And yet every single vampire here hated them passionately.
I sighed.
I could feel her approaching me now. Jane. She was one of the worst of them all. There was never a single pleasant emotion from her and now was no different.
"Jasper." She spoke and even without my gift, it would have been easy to tell that she was already bored with me even though I hadn't so much as spoken a single word.
I cracked open my eyes slowly and stood up straight. "Yes?" My manners dictated I refer to her as "ma'am" but it was awkward. She was many, many years older than me and yet... she looked like a child. I never knew what to do around her.
"Aro wants to see you." As soon as she'd finished speaking, not a split-second later, she continued walking down the hall, away from me.
I sighed again and paused for a brief moment. I hated speaking to Aro. He was always so unpredictable. I was never able to gauge what he might or might not do based on his emotions like I was able to do with others. For the most part, there was just this sick glee that I was unable to see through. It was unnerving.
I straightened up and began walking towards the throne room where Aro would undoubtedly be. On my way there I passed through a long, narrow hallway full of large, open windows. I paused a moment to look out at the small city below and couldn't help but notice a young couple walking along the sidewalk not far from the castle. They were holding hands and seemed completely entranced by each others company. For the briefest of moments, I allowed myself to think of Alice. I missed her more than I would have ever thought was possible. It physically hurt to be away from her and I wanted nothing more than to escape this place and find her again. But then what? Suppose I did escape? What would I do? Go back to her, put her in danger again?
No. I shook my head, my moment of weakness gone. I would not allow that. No, I would stay here and by staying here I would protect her.
I was only a few steps away from the back doors of the throne room now. I took a deep breath and opened them swiftly, silently.
I walked into the throne room to find Aro standing in front of rather than sitting in his throne. There was another vampire kneeling in front of him. I could sense immense fear coming from the other vampire, a tall, shifty-eyed man with long, lanky hair. He looked liked he hadn't showered or changed his clothes in weeks, maybe months. I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing in the throne room of the all-powerful Volturi.
Aro turned to face me, a wide, teeth-baring smile on his thin mouth. "Ah, Jasper." He was always so pleased to see me. That was more unnerving than his never ending pleasure in causing others pain. It always felt like he was testing me, like he had some greater plan for me that I just couldn't understand. I did not like being this way, being under someone else's control.
I, as usual, did not know what to say to him, so instead I simply nodded.
"This vampire here," Aro waved graciously at the man before us, "says that he has news of a potential rival coven. I was wondering..." his eerie smile split even wider, "could you tell me if he's lying? It's always so hard to tell."
I never understood the way he spoke, like there was some great joke and he was the only one who knew the punch line. Again, I simply nodded. I turned to the other vampire and stared at him. I looked into his eyes and found very little depth there. He, like so many of our kind, came here seeking only revenge. Whatever he had said, I doubted there was any truth to it.
I turned back to Aro and said briefly, "I don't believe he's telling the truth."
This time Aro nodded. "Thank you, Jasper. That will be all. Unless, of course you'd like to help me with this one."
I very nearly shuddered at the idea but managed to maintain my composure. "No, thank you."
"Ah, well, more for me I suppose." Aro cracked his knuckles as he spoke, already preparing. The vampire in front of us gulped audibly. He didn't try to run, didn't try to beg for his life. He knew he was done for and had given up any hope of survival. The strongest emotion I could feel from him now was no longer that of anger and desire for retribution but regret. I wondered if it was regret for having come here in the first place or regret that he hadn't succeeded in his goal. Ultimately it was irrelevant either way because his fate was sealed regardless of how he felt about the matter.
I left the room hastily. I had no desire to see Aro kill yet another vampire. Whether or not the vampire had been telling the truth, whether or not he had wanted an other's destruction, I was not entirely convinced he deserved his fate and as such wanted no part in it.
I stalked off to the room they'd given me, though I could never quite bring myself to refer to it as being mine. Almost unconsciously I rubbed at my throat. I was deathly thirsty. Aro, and others, kept trying to force me to feed on humans, but I resisted. It was pointless really, considering that I would very likely never see Alice again and so would never be joining the Cullens, but I continued on with it anyway. I wish I could have said that every time they tried to get me to feed I resisted, but that was not the case. I did, however, resist more times than I gave in. I only hoped that counted for something. Even so, it left me very hungry and since I was not allowed to venture past the castle walls, I could not go outside to hunt. I passed a mirror and avoided looking into it. I did not have any desire to see how terrible I must have looked.
I reached the bedroom and walked inside, slamming the door behind me. I laid down on the opulent leather couch they'd placed in the room for me, wishing now more than ever that I wasn't what I was even just so I could sleep. So I could sleep and be unconscious for a while, so I could sleep and escape this place, if only in my dreams. I wanted to be able to dream so badly. I wanted to dream of Alice, to be near her again somehow.
I shook my head again. I knew I shouldn't think of her. If Aro ever decided to read my thoughts, he'd see. He'd see her. I didn't want to think about what he would do if he ever saw her, ever learned of her.
I had to stop thinking about her. I had to. But I never, ever wanted to.
