CHAPTER SEVEN : A KISS FROM A ROSE

The Doctor woke from the blackness which had devoured him. He was on the floor of the med lab, up against the bed where he had slumped to the ground. He was alone. Memory returned to him slowly; dragging it's feet like a battle weary soldier.

He tried to make sense of...he swore under his breath -- Rose.

He moved to stand, to leave, to find Rose, to -- pain shot through his arm. The Doctor stiffened then looked over his shoulder. What he saw made him sink back to the floor with a dark smile at his lips.

It appeared that Rose had become a surprisingly adroit creature. She had gotten under his skin and tricked him almost effortlessly.

He smiled without humour and yanked hard on the steadfast restraint; a cold metal cuff around one wrist, which secured him to the frame of the bed.

The Doctor knew that if Rose had wanted him held prisoner, then she would have locked both wrist cuffs to hold him there, but no, this was only meant to delay him.

Of course, he couldn't possibly let her get away with it.

If he was right -- and he was almost always right -- then she would have left him with the means to free himself.

With his free hand he reached across to his pocket, carefully dipping his long fingers inside. He shifted his hip slightly, lifting a bit, then his fingers closed over his sonic screwdriver and with a relieved breath he took it from the pocket, holding it infront of his face as he flicked a couple of the delicate controls. A small blue light shone steadily, and he couldn't prevent a self-congratulatory grin as he pointed the device at the lock and waited for the reassurring click as it fell open obediently. He smiled again as he shook his hand free and pocketed the sonic screwdriver. Fantastic little gadget, he thought to himself as he got to his feet.

He stood, rubbing his wrist for a second as he contemplated the empty med bay. As his lungs filled with new breath and his hearts began to beat a little faster he could feel the last of the Allofaen in his bloodstream fade away, leaving him strong again. With a surge of determination he set off through the door and along the corridors in search of Rose.

Unfortunately, even as he ran through the TARDIS, he still had time enough to think about things he really didn't want to think about. There was no telling what Rose had got up to while he'd been... asleep.

The worst of it was, he couldn't really sure how long he'd been unconcious. Allofaen was a tricky little sedative; one of his own inventions. It was completely without side effects and ordinarily he was quite proud of his 'little blue bottles', but he would be the first to admit, it wasn't perfect. It could be a little unpredictable when it came to potency -- it rather depended on species... mostly. Although sometimes batch number was more relevant. He remembered once he had accidently injected himself with a dose -- and woken up four days later. However he felt it was safe enough to assume that he hadn't been out that long this time. So he hoped for the more likely time scale of a couple of hours. Even so, two hours of Rose having free run on the TARDIS...

All the same, he wasn't prepared for the sight that met his eyes when he reached the console room.

The TARDIS had moved. How was that possible? New time and new space. This was his TARDIS -- she shouldn't have moved anywhere or anywhen -- and yet, clearly she had. The TARDIS doors had been flung wide open, and the Doctor stood staring out at a sandy beach with dark cliffs and a wild sea -- definitely not where he'd 'parked'.

He looked at the TARDIS console reproachfully. "What have you done? You should have stopped her. I thought you had more sense! What is it then, you taking sides? All girls together, is it?"

He felt betrayed. Rose had... absconded with his TARDIS, and the machine in question had done nothing to stop her. Perhaps -- he really did not want to believe it -- but perhaps she had even gone willingly. There were certainly no signs of a struggle.

He moved away from the console and crossed to the open doors. He turned back, looking accusingly at the console tower, and directed his anger to the room. "I'm deeply disappointed in you... and just so you know, this conversation is not over."

The TARDIS merely hummed gently in reply.

Turning away, the Doctor stepped out into the cool evening of an alien world and began to walk across the soft golden sands of an empty beach.

The air was crisp and a wind was rising, ruffling the dark sea so that white foam spilled onto the shore as the waves broke. He looked up to the sky and saw it was a paintbox of pink hues, from palest to darkest and back again.

Ahead of him was an outcrop of dark black rocks, and among them he caught sight of a lone figure, standing as immobile as the surrounding rocks -- staring out to sea. He pushed his hands into his jacket pockets and began to walk towards her.

xxxxx

He stopped a few feet away from her. She didn't move, or turn to look at him, but the Doctor knew that she was aware of his presence. He waited in silence, he didn't know how long, it was just time and time did not matter; only Rose mattered.

He watched the sea breeze push it's fingers through her long dark hair. Sometimes he thought he heard her catch her breath and sometimes he thought he saw her shiver; but not from the cold. Eventually he spoke, his words soft and gentle on the cool wind that moved between them like a curious ghost.

"Trust you to find a planet with a pink sky."

Rose turned around slowly and looked into his soul.

The Doctor swallowed hard. Rose's green eyes were filled with tears and her cheeks were wet with their fallen pathways.

"Rose." He spoke her name, and it sounded the same as it had always done.

"Doctor!"

She ran to him, her arms moving up and around his neck as she buried her face in his shoulder and let her body shudder with broken sobs. He wrapped his arms tightly about her and held her close to him until she stilled, quietened. He didn't know how long it took, he didn't care. He was just grateful that she was holding on to him, seeking comfort in his arms, and that she had come to him willingly.

Gently he stroked her hair and let her cry herself out. His eyes closed for a moment as he pushed away his pain and focused on hers.

"Rose..."

She looked up at him. "I'm sorry."

He nodded, believing her. "S'okay."

She shook her head stubbornly. "No, it's not. I shouldn't have done that." She began to tremble in his arms and he brushed away a fresh fallen tear from her cheek. "It was stupid and dangerous. I didn't mean to -- I swear I didn't mean to."

"I said it's okay."

She looked up at him and nervously licked her lips. He flinched inside. She couldn't possibly know how much that innocent action hurt him, reminded him of...

"I'm going mad," she said softly. "It feels like I'm being torn in two, ripped apart from the inside. I don't know who I am anymore -- what I am." She looked deep into his eyes and tried to steady her voice. "I thought if I could just feel what you feel... then it would be okay," she said miserably. "I wanted to know what it felt like to stand on a planet and feel it spin under your feet. I wanted to feel the rush of time move through me." More tears gathered in the corner of her eyes, but this time she refused to let them fall. "I thought it would... fix me."

The Doctor nodded. He'd told her that. It had been such a long time ago, but she'd remembered. He smiled a little.

"So what was it like?" he asked gently.

She glanced away for a second, and then slowly her gaze returned to him. "I didn't feel it," she said in a wretched voice. "It wasn't there. I closed my eyes and I waited. I waited for such a long time... but it didn't come."

The Doctor sighed. He'd expected as much, but now wasn't the time for explanations, they would come later, when she was ready to hear them.

"You're not missing much really," he said softly, and brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. "All it does is make you dizzy. You'd probably have thrown up too. All the fun of the fair, but without the candy floss and toffee apples."

She smiled at him and laughed. The Doctor felt his hearts clench in his chest. The smile, the laugh... they were different. He of all people knew how illogical and pointless it was for the differences to hurt him so much. But they did hurt. He wished that they didn't, but they did.

Suddenly Rose leaned in close and kissed him. Her lips pressing into his with a reckless, dare-devil impulsiveness. Her fingers crept up into his cropped hair, her fingernails grazing his neck. She moaned a little and opened her mouth under his. Instinctively he kissed her back -- wanting her, needing her. For his sins he kissed her, and he was rich in sin. Was it wrong? After all she was still his...

He pulled free of her. "No."

She shook her head a little, her eyes bright with emotions that changed so swiftly he could barely identify them -- but he caught sight of three he recognised, confusion, pain, and loss.

"Close your eyes," she whispered. "Close your eyes and pretend that I'm her." She touched his cheek with tenderness. "You want her back so much. I might not be able to feel the world spin -- but I can feel how much you miss her." She leaned in close again, her voice little more than a breath. "Close your eyes and pretend. Let me be her, for you."

He shook his head as though clearing away the fog of illusion from his mind, and stepped back. "You don't know what you're saying Rose."

"I know you loved her," she said simply. "The other Rose."

He stared at her, shocked but caught by truth he could not deny. He nodded. "I was afraid."

"Of what?"

He looked away from her, back to the TARDIS, wanting the ground to open up and swallow him -- anything but to have to answer her questions.

"Doctor, tell me." She stepped closer.

"We should go back to the TARDIS."

"Were you afraid that I didn't love you?"

His body turned cold. It was HER voice. His mind was playing tricks on him again. He looked back to her green eyes and slowly shook his head.

"I was afraid that... " He stopped and stared helplessly at her. "I was afraid that she did."

Rose let out a breath, and lifted her dark green eyes toward the back cliffs that rose out of the golden sands, stretching to the sky. She looked back to the Doctor. There was no emotion in her eyes to betray her thoughts to him, but when she spoke, her voice was filled with untold sorrow.

"You were right to be afraid."

Time seemed to stand still between them, then the Doctor gave a nod of acceptance.

"It's time to go home, Rose." He held out his hand to her. "Let's go back to the TARDIS."

She took his hand, and as she did so their fingers twisted together as though returning to a preordained place of belonging.

Rose leaned in close to the Doctor, resting her head against his shoulder, and as the shadows they cast merged into one, they walked in silence back across the blonde-gold sands as the sun set blood-red in the pink sky.