Author Notes: Thanks to everyone for commenting, favouriting, and following. You guys are fab. So, someone asked about Maura's stuttering - the first story in this pair of stories explains it fully, but after she had the baby she had some speech issues. Those speech issues are not completely over, which is why she's still a little stuttery. Eventually I'm hoping to lessen it further, but I don't want to rush it, as it's a long term issue.
I'll be starting back at work tomorrow, so who knows how frequently I will be updating. I do get the bus so I have time to write, so I'm hoping it won't delay chapters too much (though it may take a couple of days to do one, instead of cracking them out frequently like the more recent ones). We'll see how it goes. Hoping to pass my driving test soon, so then I'd have spare hours in the day.
Despite waking before her alarm, Jane felt completely relaxed, like she'd had the best nights sleep in a long time. She lay on her back for a moment, contemplating life, before she allowed herself to roll onto her side. She knew Maura was there, she just didn't want there to be any chance that the night before had been some kind of dream. When she felt Maura move, Jane shifted into her side. There she was. A breath caught in the back of Jane's throat and her chest ached with an overwhelming sense of desire. She was there in front of her, so close that she could touch her, so close that she could scoop her up in her arms and lay kisses along her collarbone. Just the thought of carrying through made her skin tingle. The longer she stared, the harder it became to watch without needing to touch. With the tip of her finger, she ran it along Maura's cheek and across her bottom lip.
"If you want to kiss me, you can j-just ask," Maura whispered, her voice broke with the edge of sleep. Jane buried her face into the pillow, her smile tugging at the corners of her eyes.
Mumbling into the fabric, she asked "Can I?"
Pulling her face away from the pillow, Jane was pushed back against the bed by Maura's lips crashing down upon hers. She lay there, trapped in a prison of Maura's body. Her knees fixed on either side of her, each hand hungrily searching the skin beneath the edge of her shirt. Jane slid her hands along the back of Maura's pyjama top, her lips moving in sync with Maura's, her mouth filled with her tongue. She moved her hands back up, wrapped her fingers around the strands of Maura's hair and held her closer, deepening the kiss.
"Is now a better time?" Maura asked, pulling back only long enough to speak before capturing Jane's mouth again.
"God, yes," Jane whispered, gasping for breath. The moment Maura's hand slipped under the waistband of her underwear, Jane lifted her hips up to meet her, their mouths separated as she moaned against Maura's cheek.
As if on cue, the monitor on the bedside table came to life and Toby's squawks filled the room. Jane sunk back against the bed as Maura shifted off of her. Her hand reclaimed. The need to pull her back on top of her was quickly interrupted by the incessant cry of Maura's son.
"Maybe next time," Jane said, pushing the bedsheets away.
Maura climbed out from under the covers. "I'll get him."
"Good," Jane said, heading for the door to the en suite. "I need a cold shower."
Maura sat back on the bed, placing Toby down on the bed sheets, as she settled herself against the headboard with a pillow. He stared up at her, his big brown eyes, his little hand reached out to her leg and he pulled himself up to his feet.
"Well done," Maura said, holding her hands out beside him in case he dropped suddenly.
"Mama," he said, taking a step forwards before lifting his knee onto her thigh and clambering onto her lap.
He rested on her lap for a moment, before reaching out his hand again and grasping the front of Maura's top. She placed a hand on his back, keeping his steady and he leant towards her, his mouth open as he wrapped his hand around her front.
"I thought we talked about this," Maura said, slipping off her top. "W-we're going to try and wean you off."
"Mama," he said again, with a large toothy grin, as he pulled himself closer until he could wrap his mouth around her nipple and start feeding. Maura wrapped her arms around him and cradled him against her.
"Aw shucks," Jane said, walking into the room with a towel around her body. "He beat me to it."
"Jane," Maura said, raising her eyebrows.
Jane perched on the edge of the bed, leant forwards and rested her head against the pillow beside Maura. She watched Toby feeding, his little mouth moving, his eyes closed with contentment. Her eyes travelled across Maura's bare chest, then on up to her eyes.
"You look like you've n-never seen my breasts before," Maura said.
"I haven't seen them knowing I'm allowed to see them, before," Jane said, scooting up the bed until she sat beside Maura.
Toby lifted his head and smiled broadly at Jane, he reached out and she scooped him up into her arms.
"Good morning, Tobes," she said. One glance from Maura was enough for her to correct herself. "Toby."
"Mama," he said again, kicking his feet until Jane placed him down on her lap. The force of his movement tugged at her towel, exposing her breasts. When Toby leaned forwards, his mouth open wide, Maura pulled him away.
"No, Toby," Maura said, placing him down between them and pulling her top back on over her head.
"Wrong boobs there, kid," Jane said, laughing. She rearranged the towel to cover herself back up. They sat silently, watching Toby crawl around the bed sheets, clambering over their legs as he explored the space. Jane's mind drifted back to Ashley. "I can't believe she's a cop."
"Ashley?" Maura asked. Jane nodded. "It is a remarkable coincidence."
"Yeah," Jane said, her voice drifted off into the continued silence.
After a few minutes, Maura reached out to Jane's hand, interlinking their fingers. "She doesn't know what h-happened to her mother. She died last year, w-when she was visiting her brother on the Cape."
Jane sat up straighter. "She has a brother?"
"Yes."
"What do you mean she doesn't know what happened to her mom?"
"I mean just that," Maura said. "She died, and she n-never really found out how."
The very idea didn't sit well with Jane. She'd seen too many families suffer from unsolved murder cases, and a lack of answers to unexplained deaths. Regardless of how Ashley's mother died, Jane didn't want her to have to suffer that same fate of not knowing.
"It'll be in her medical records, though, right?" Jane asked.
"Yes," Maura replied.
Jane moved onto her knees. "And Cape Cod is in Massachusetts."
"Your point being?"
"As the Chief Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, Maura, you can access those records."
"Why would I do that?" Maura asked, pulling Toby away from the edge of the bed and placing him on her lap.
"Why wouldn't you?"
"Jane."
Sometimes Maura wondered if Jane paid any attention to the ethics of her role, of either of their roles. It was not their place to go snooping around medical records. Especially in areas where Maura herself didn't actually work. She had employed many medical examiners across the state, but a handful of them had been working in their localities long before she'd taken up her post. She barely knew the medical examiner on the Cape, and had been informed long ago by the local police department, and her predecessor's notes, that he could be trusted implicitly.
"Maura," Jane said. "I need this. I need to know what happened to her mom. I need to know so that she can know."
"I don't expect there'll be much to know," Maura said. "U-unexpected deaths occur every day. Do you know how m-many of them are from natural causes?"
"No."
"Aren't you going to ask?"
"No," Jane said, smirking.
Maura tilted her head to the side. "Fine. Then I won't tell you."
"Good. Cause I don't really care."
"There's the Jane Rizzoli I know and l-love."
Approaching Boston Police Department an hour later, Jane dropped Maura's hand and sent her a nervous smile. Her heart thumped against her rib cage. There were too many things that could happen that morning, and she wasn't ready for any of them. The least she could do was minimise the risk of outing herself and her relationship with Maura when they had been together for barely twelve hours.
"You'll be fine," Maura said, stroking her upper arm. Jane wasn't convinced.
"I don't even know if she's working today," Jane said, cautiously glancing across at the entrance. A couple of officers strolled out, she gave them a small wave and turned back to Maura. "I can't do this."
"You can," Maura assured her, reaching again for her hand and giving it a brief squeeze. "I'm here."
Jane sighed, then led them up the steps towards the entrance to BPD. She smiled across at Maura as she pushed open the door and scanned the entrance hall for the face she still wasn't sure she could pick out of a crowd. When her eyes landed on the dark, curls of her daughter, sat at a table in the cafe, she turned around.
"I really can't do this," she said, almost colliding with Maura.
"Jane," Maura said, her voice calm as she forced her to turn back around before pushing her gently in the direction of Ashley.
Maura followed close behind. Her own nerves were threatening to consume her. It was hard enough supporting Jane with her own feelings, but the fear that Ashley would reject her when she was finally stepping up made Maura worry. She didn't think Jane could handle that anymore than the rest of the situation.
"Morning Ashley," Jane said, stopping beside the table in the far corner, where Ashley sipped a cup of coffee.
"Oh, hi," Ashley replied, her eyes darting to Maura then back to Jane again. Maura turned a little to the side, so that she wasn't in her eye line, forcing her to focus solely on Jane.
"Could we talk?"
Ashley's brow furrowed, then she forged a smile. "Sure."
Jane slipped into the seat opposite her. Maura joined the line, to distract herself, whilst staying near enough to support Jane.
"I wanted to apologise for everything that I've done," Jane said, staring at her hands. "I was a jerk. I was worse than that. You didn't deserve any of it."
"No, I didn't."
"Could we start again?" Jane asked, cautiously glancing back up into Ashley's eyes. A flash of doubt disappeared as quickly as it came and Jane knew her actions were fruitless.
"I don't know if that's such a good idea." Ashley stood up, pushing her chair back as she stepped away from the table. "This is obviously not what you wanted. I probably should've called first, or wrote you a letter. How about we just pretend this never happened?"
"I," Jane opened her mouth to speak, but all words disappeared into the silence that followed.
"Exactly. I'll see you around, Detective," Ashley said, forcing another smile before turning on her tail and walking away.
Maura stopped her in the entrance hall. She'd watched the exchange closely, and she'd seen the disappointment shift onto Jane's face, could hear the vulnerability in Ashley's voice as she'd said words that lacked conviction.
"Don't do this," she said, stepping in front of her.
"I don't think this is any of your business, do you?" Ashley asked, a look of regret on her face. "I'm sorry. She's your friend, we understand each other. But that doesn't mean you get a say."
"Wait," Maura said, blocking Ashley from heading towards the elevator. "I don't think you want to d-do this. I think you're scared t-that she'll let you down again."
"You don't know me."
"Maybe I don't, but I know Jane." Maura sighed. "Y-you need to understand something about her before you dismiss t-this. She's not always very forth…forthcoming, she's c-complicated and she's stubborn, and she…struggles to be honest with how she's feeling. B-but she's here now, she's willing to try and m-maybe you should too. You don't know her; you came h-here to find out who she was, w-well, this it is. It takes time to understand her nu-nuances. She makes inappropriate jokes and she doesn't always know where to draw the…line. Most of the time she d-doesn't do it to hurt people, she does it b-because she's scared. What she does know is what family means. I'm not expecting y-you to go back over there and t-tell her how much you want to get to know her, I-I'm just asking you to think about it. To give her a ch-chance to get to know you, and you her."
Ashley closed her eyes and scratched at her cheek, disguising the brushing away of a tear. It didn't escape Maura's attention, but she let it slide. She waited, allowed her words to sink in, hoping that eventually Ashley would say something.
"I don't know," she said, avoiding looking her square in the eye.
"Sunday," Maura said. "It's Toby's birthday, we're having a party. N-nothing big, just a few friends and family. Why d-don't you come? No pressure, just a few…people. It'll give you a chance to meet some of the people wh-who work here, and you can see Jane when she's feeling m-more comfortable."
Her brow furrowed, a look of consideration lingered. "Can I think about it?"
"Please, do."
"I should get on," Ashley said, chewing on her bottom lip as she motioned towards the elevator.
"I gave you my number yesterday," Maura said. "If you d-decide you will come, just let me know."
"I will, thanks."
Jane rejoined Maura as Ashley stepped into the elevator and the doors closed behind her. She wrapped an arm around Maura's and rested her head on her shoulder. If she wasn't in such a public place, she'd have pulled her into her arms and held on for dear life. But she was already conscious of the pairs of eyes watching them from afar. She wondered how quickly – if at all – the news of her long lost daughter had already spread around the BPD grapevine.
"I need to go," Maura said, giving Jane's hand a gentle squeeze. "Lisa has an appointment this morning, and I have plans with my son. Will you be okay?"
"I'll be fine, Maur," Jane said. "Just so long as I don't have to spend any time with Ashley."
"If you do, play nice, or she'll never say yes to Sunday."
"I'll try," Jane said, leaning across to kiss her before thinking better of it. Instead she moved her mouth towards Maura's ear. "I love you."
"I love you too," Maura whispered back, before exiting the building.
