Wraith: Thanks for reviewing. I'm glad my insecurities were misplaced. I had my doubt about the chapter myself when I posted it, so the lack of reviews just fuelled a sense of disappointment in myself. And ever since I started to study Psychology I over-analyze everything ;) About the peanut butter and jelly, I have to admit that I don't even like peanut butter by itself -.-' let alone with jelly (which I also don't like). But I've learned I'm a rare exception in that regard and I just decided that Duo would like it, but I had to give him a little quirkiness, so therefore I wrote that he doesn't like it with jelly. But after all this talk, I do feel like having a sandwich... Thanks again for reviewing and for shutting up my insecurities :)

Yoshiwrangler: I was afraid of that ;) The thing was that when I finished the chapter, I had some doubts about it, but every time I tried to rewrite it or change it, it came out worse. So I was already second guessing myself. I know I shouldn't do that and I shouldn't blame other people for my own insecurities, but as a psychology student, I find it hard to just think "oh well". I'm way too much in my head, trying to find explanations, which always bring me back to faults of my own doing. I apologize for coming across as an insecure mess, I won't do it again ;) I'm sorry you had such a rough week with school work, I hope you get some free time soon. School may be important, but it easily drives people insane, so spare time is important too :).Thanks a lot for reviewing and saying all those kind things. I hope you like this chapter too, but you don't have to review, if you don't want to, for my sake :P Enjoy your free time to fullest. I'll live ;)

ElleSmith: I really appreciate you reviewing and taking the time to comment on chapter five as well. I wasn't insulted that no one reviewed, just worried, because I initially had my doubts about the flow of the chapter. I'm glad those doubts seem to be unfounded. I'm having similar qualms about this chapter, I hope I will be proven wrong again... :S
I loved writing the shower scene, I thought it was adorable, and so like them. A little metaphorical as well: both are vulnerable and exposed but with a barrier in between them that keeps them separated. Yeah, I think about that kind of stuff, deep huh? ;)
Communication, ahh... yes. I'm sometimes having difficulties communicating myself, even though words come so easily to me when my fingers hover over the keyboard. I'm glad you and your partner worked it out in the end, I hate how awkward things can get after a fight. In a certain regard, communication can be quite the paradox, as you already pointed out. Talking is so easy, yet when something important needs to be said, or even worse, something difficult, it gets so hard. That's why Duo's "Duoness" slipped away from him the previous chapter. I promise he'll regain it soon ;)
All I have left to add is: Thank you so much reviewing! And your welcome to laugh as long and as hard as you need to about my penname :P I actually literally copied it off a random word generator that some sites (including ffnet) use to verify authenticity. It's stupid and random and that's why I like it :) If it bothers you, my real name is Lee-Anne, so you can call me that. Executive Shrimp doesn't make me sound very professional, I realize ;)

Nikki: Thanks for both your reviews. Of course I don't blame anyone for not reviewing, like I said, it easy to skip it. I catch myself doing that very often without ill intentions. Aiden is definitely annoying, she is sort of inspired on the way many author's characterize Relena, I didn't want to bring her into the story too soon or too much, but I realized a school can't do without a girl like that. Unfortunately there are plenty of them out there. Her evilness will only increase in this chapter. And I think Duo is slowly coming to the same conclusion that you have come to: head over heels :) I hope you will enjoy this read and thanks again for taking the time to review on the two previous chapters.
PS: The homophobia unexpectedly returned in this chapter, so I'm glad you don't mind it as part of the story.


Author's note:

To compensate for the previous chapter, which was a little on the short side, I wrote one that is substantially longer. Not intentionally, I just got caught up in it. This story is leaning a little towards a schoolfic, maybe I should add that to it's summary. I just really wanted to explore the different aspects of Duo and Heero dealing with their new lives. Duo is trying hard to be normal and experience a life fitting for someone his age whilst Heero tries to shut reality out and stays mostly in soldier mode (until, of course, Duo cracks him). Considering the last chapter I figured Duo needed a little help, so this chapter is unusually OFC heavy, but I promise not to make a habit of it ;)


Warheads

Part VII - Just Communication 1

I was back home in time to prepare dinner for the both of us. Heero always kept me waiting, but when the clock struck ten and outside the skies were ominously darkening, a sick, worrying feeling grew in my gut. The clock kept on ticking relentlessly. The sounds had never bothered me before, I hardly ever noticed it, but the mechanics of the clock seemed louder that evening and after it struck eleven, I flinched at every tick it made. I had stopped myself from picking up the phone and calling his office several times. I didn't want him to feel suffocated, that I was choking up on him or give him the impression that I expected more from him than he was willing to give - his freedom and independence - but I finally figured it was his own damn fault for not telling me why he wasn't home yet.

With my decision made I raced to the phone, stumbling on my way. I pressed speed dial one, which would connect me to the Preventers HQ reception. I had never called him at the office before, so I was uncertain of what to say when a sweet sounding young lady, whose name I had missed, answered the phone and asked me how she could be of service.

"Uhm, I'm calling for Heero Yuy."

"What department is he from, sir?"

"Something with computers?" I said sheepishly. How was I supposed to know what department he worked for? Every question I asked him regarding his work was answered either by: "That's confidential, you're not authorized", or one of his damned "I don't understand."

The receptionist chuckled at my respond. "I think you mean Computer Intelligence Analysis."

"Yeah, I guess..." I muttered. I heard the sound of a keyboard being worked ferociously.

"There is an H. Yuy working in that department, shall I patch you through?"

"Yes, please."

"Have a nice evening sir."

Before I could return the sentiment, the phone started ringing again. One... two... three... I counted, impatient.

At the seventh ring the phone was finally answered. A wave of relief crashed over me, but I was drowning in it when an unfamiliar voice asked, quite annoyed, who I was.

"I'm Duo Maxwell," I answered, indignant. "Who are you?"

"Reid Mixson." The voice said, adopting my tone.

"I'm a friend of Heero, I would like to speak to him." That's what I said literally, but it sounded more like - and it was meant more like -: "What the fuck are you doing at Heero's desk, answering his phone?"

"Are you?" The condescending brat questioned. "Heero and I are very close, but he never talks about you."

I rolled my eyes at him. Heero doesn't talk about anything or anyone, if they were so close, he would know that, I thought to myself, pushing away thoughts of strangling the man for insinuating what I did not like to have insinuated... "Is Heero there?" I urged.

"Heero isn't here." He answered casually, not at all threatened by my attitude.

"Oh -" I stopped when I heard a key slide into the lock of the front door. Without saying goodbye, as would have been proper, I promptly hung up the phone. Before the door opened I looked at the clock and noted it was eleven thirty already.

When Heero stepped inside he eyed me cautiously, gingerly closing the door behind him, so softly I barely heard the click. He stayed by the door for a moment, looking at me, finally, he asked, a little irritated, "What?" He looked exhausted and when he moved his muscles seemed to strain. His eyes were narrow and focused, looking dangerous and intimidating.

"I was worried." I admitted without shame.

"I was at work." Heero simply stated, draping his jacket over one of the chairs by the dinner table and turning to switch on the microwave. As always I had already placed his dinner inside.

I suddenly felt very taken for granted, but I didn't want to dramatize the situation. Heero wasn't making me feel the way I did on purpose, he simply didn't understand one might get worried when he's not home by the time he usually is.

Heero casually started eating his dinner, totally unresponsive to my sensitive mood. It bugged me enough to say: "I'm angry, Heero."

He looked up momentarily and furrowed his eyebrows in thought. "Why?" He asked.

I sat down across from him at the table, watching as he continued to eat. "Because I was worried."

The hand holding his fork stilled. He looked up at me again, blue, radiant eyes questioning. "Why?"

I let out an awkward, sarcastic chuckle. "Why? Because it's almost midnight and you didn't even call! I was worried that you had gotten hurt!"

He didn't understand, I could tell from the look on his face. He was wondering why I would get so worried, considering he got hurt during the war all the time. What he didn't know was that I worried those times too, but in the war I was supposed not to show, but instead to handle the situation in a cool and calculating manner. Now, in peacetime, I was allowed to be a chaotic, worrisome mess.

"Heero," I started, but then I didn't know what else to say. I leaned over and stretched my arm out over the table. I came so close to his relaxed hand, splayed over the wooden surface just by his glass of water, that I could cover it warmly with my own, but I didn't, I just touched my fingers to his.

Heero allowed the contact for a few more moment before retreating his hand and taking hold of his glass, emptying it in his mouth in a succession of big gulps. He cleaned up after himself and then left for the bathroom to take a shower.

I stayed in the kitchen for a little while longer, over-thinking the dreadful evening I had experienced. I realized nothing was going to change if I wasn't going to facilitate change and make it happen. I could wait on Heero forever, I could hold his hand and gently guide him through life and make him learn and experience till finally he would understand and he could help me make these hard decisions about our relationship that I was currently dealing and struggling with by myself. But by then my feelings might have changed, confusion or unrequited love might have made me bitter and maybe I would wake up some day realizing that all I had been doing was grooming him for someone else. For Relena, or some other nice girl, or Reid Mixson. I felt myself become queasy with possessiveness. I wasn't sure if I loved him the way a lover would love his lover, or a husband would love his partner, but I knew I loved him to extent that I was not willing to share him with anyone. I wanted him to be with me and I wanted to be the one who showed him things and taught him things and to be by his side when his eyes would finally open and he discovers the world around us, with all it's sensations and emotions.

So far that was all I had been able to figure out, but I felt pleased with the progress. Whether I would have to teach myself to love him the way normal people would, or teach myself to stop loving him in my own abnormal way, I didn't know yet. It scared me to think that that decision was Heero's. For the first time in my life, in spite of my dangerous and boisterous past, I felt like I was at risk of getting hurt.

What would happen if Heero made a decision that I didn't like? Whichever that would be...

The sound of the water running, cascading down into the tub, suddenly stopped, so I rose from my seat to turn off all the lights and go the bedroom. I didn't look with the intention of sneaking a peek, but I did, when I glanced through the open bathroom door. I don't know why I felt so embarrassed when I caught the sight of him naked, he obviously wasn't bothered with being seen, but when he met my own wildly curious gaze with his own calm and open one, I quickly turned my head and practically leaped onto my bed just to get out of his line of sight. It was a instinctual reaction that I couldn't alter, even though it made my behavior interpret as all the more suspicious.

He came out two minutes later in his black underwear and black shirt. Golden, muscled thighs, round and firm ass, strong, elegantly curving back and a long slim neck that held his head in a slight tilt as he gazed at me, his blue eyes questioning rather than accusing.

I groaned inwardly, unable to deny or look away from his physical perfection. Did it mean I wanted to be with someone like him, or did it mean I wanted to do someone like him?

As Heero got into bed, I went to the closet to change into my own nightwear, hiding behind the open door as Heero returned the favor of casting a scrutinizing glance.

I got into bed and switched off the light, but I had no intention of sleeping yet. It was just easier to talk in the dark, where embarrassed blushing and nervous lip biting would remain secret. "Hey Heero?"

"Hn?"

I sought out his silhouette in the dark. He was still lying on his back. I could observe the profile of his face against the white wall. His low eyebrows, curving nose, shapely mouth and sharp chin... it was a profile worthy of being on a stamp or a coin.

"I'm going to that ball." I announced, hoping he would come with me.

He just said: "Okay." His tone of voice didn't pass any judgment.

"Will you come with me?" I asked hopefully.

Without thinking about it long he answered in his deep voice: "Okay."

"Thanks, buddy." My happy smile was audible in my voice, but it wasn't the kind of subtlety Heero would notice.

"Hey Heero?" I tried again after a few moments of silence.

"Hn?"

I smiled at his repetitive reaction. "Next time... call or something. To tell me you'll be home late."

He took a little longer to answer this time, probably struggling to accept my logic after suffering explosions, bullet wounds, cuts and blows. I feared Heero thought he was invincible in these times of peace, while I knew better. People die from the most randomly accidental things. If you don't pay attention crossing the street, a car could run you over. You could misstep down the stairs and break your neck. You could bump your head and have blood hemorrhage into your brain.

I shut my eyes tightly. I didn't want to think about those things, but for some reason I often did.

"Okay." He answered after a lengthy pause. To take initiative and indicate the end of our conversation he rolled over onto his side, facing away from me.

"Goodnight, Heero." I whispered, loud enough for him to hear should he still be awake, but soft enough not to wake him should he have fallen asleep already.

"Hn..." Was his soft reply.

The next morning proceeded as usual. Getting the bagels, making breakfast, having coffee, thinking, thinking, thinking, trying to stop thinking about certain things only to think about them more, watching Heero eat and drink like he's trying to break a record, a shower and then getting dressed to prepare for another day at school. The mornings were starting to become a grind, but instead of letting the predictability get to me, I saw it as a welcome break from the surprises and challenges living in peace time and living with Heero made me endure.

The day started with P.E. I spotted Sookie in the hallway by the locker room, but she disappeared into the girl's locker room before I could catch up with her and get her attention and I didn't want to risk fuelling the rumors by following her inside. I got dressed swiftly. The fit, young bodies surrounding me confirming me that my feelings for Heero weren't as superficial as sexual attraction. Though of course no body present came near to equaling Heero's toned and trained physique, some of the jocks and older boys looked good. I may have been able to acknowledge that, however, following that statement was nothing that could be interpreted as desire or sexual arousal. In fact, I approached the nudity so clinically that I thought of mentioning to one of them he had a suspicious mold on his inner thigh.

I was one of the first to head out to the field, where the boys started to gather first. I didn't know why the girls always took longer, but they did. I supposed their outfits and hairstyles were a carefully balanced mix of attractiveness and functionality and comfort, sometimes leaning more towards attractiveness.

"Hey." I greeted when Sookie joined me in the circle around the coach. "Feeling better?"

"Sure." She didn't sound like her usual, chipper self, brushing me off.

"Hey Duo!"

I looked over to a group of the school's most popular girls, Aiden, of course, not excluded from that selection. She waved excitedly at me and the girl with her chuckled. Hesitantly I raised my hand and waved back sheepishly. "Hey..."

"I don't get what ya see in her." Sookie stated accusingly.

"I don't see anything in her." I replied. "But apparently she sees something in me." It was stupid and vain of me, but Aiden's apparent crush - though putting me in awkward position - was very flattering. I had never before experienced what it was like to be the object of someone's affection, it was unknown territory and however much it got on my nerve, it certainly was good for my ego. I noticed how her increased attention in my persona, had opened up a whole new world for me. Girls smiled at me in the hallways. Jocks, instead of pushing me aside roughly, said "Hello". As was always the case with me, the positive was mixed with the negative. I wasn't at all pleased with the concept of popularity: thinking your better than everyone, prettier, smarter, stronger and pushing everyone around. At least on L2, we were all equals. All equally poor. All equally at risk of getting raped, mugged or shot. All equally without possibility and hope. But I knew when to push my morals aside and take advantage of the circumstances.

Sookie sarcastically scoffed at my remark.

"What?"

"People are just tools to her, Duo. Tools are manipulated for use. That's what she sees in ya."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

The whistle of the coach silenced her response, if she was even going to answer me. He announced the game of the day, basketball and ordered one of the students to get two balls from the supply shed while the rest of the class moved over to the two courts at the far end of the field, where we were separated in four equal teams. Two male teams, two female teams. At the girls whining about gender based discrimination, the coach curtly announced that the winning boy team and winning girl team would compete if time allowed.

I analyzed my teammates, for the most part not displeased. Both teams of five had three strong players and two weaker players and each had three more on the bench for rotation. Currently on my team were two boys I didn't know but presumed to be the unpopular, nerdy type and though I always tried to be a fair person, some things went against my competitive nature and I judged that it might not be in the best interest of the game to pass the ball to them. The other two boys were very popular and athletic, one of them was even the captain of the wrestling team, I knew, the other was Danny Conner, the boy from biology that "found" the clitoris.

The other team had a member from the actual school's varsity basketball team, but I estimated our chances of winning high, despite the fact that I would first have to find my rhythm, lacking the dynamic I had with Heero when we share a court, in his absence.

I made a mental note of suggesting a friendly game of basketball to Heero, supposedly as an addition to our work-out routine. I had noticed there was a fenced off, full-sized basketball court in the park when I was there the day before.

Sookie's comment from before, ringing in the back of my head, distracted me a little but I still managed to steal the ball away from the opposing team and pass it to the wrestling captain by the opponent's basket. He tried to dunk, but came up short and the ball missed by a good foot or two.

Danny, a sore loser, cursed under his breath, but the coach constructively shouted: "Good attempt Eduardo!"

The ball went to the other team and the varsity player dribbled towards me. I tried to hit the ball out of his hands, but he outturned me and dribbled past. Danny blocked his way to our basket so he took his chances from the 3-point line. He jumped up, extended his arm and threw the ball over Danny who was jumping up trying to block it.

They scored.

"Well done, Hunter! Well done!" The coach patted him on his back.

When Danny walked past me to get back to his position on the court, he roughly bumped shoulders with me. When I looked at him, I received a hateful glare. I frowned at his back as walked on. What had I done wrong? I asked myself, blaming Danny for doing a lousy job of blocking Hunter.

The ball was ours. The coach gave it Eduardo, who quickly passed it to Danny. Danny dribbled over to the opponent's side of the court, where his way and a possible shot was blocked by three players of the other team.

"Danny!" I shouted. Standing free and with a clear shot of their basket. He looked over and I emphasized my position with a wave. He ignored me. I watched him rise to the tip of his toes and throw the ball into the mesh of outstretched hand before him. Of course the ball didn't go anywhere but into Hunter's hand, who took a chance passing it to one of the weaker guys on his team, standing unprotected by our basket except for one of our weaker players. Both were clueless when the ball landed in his hand - it was amazing that he had even managed to catch it - but light dawned to him before the player on my team could react. The short, awkward moving guy took a shot and when he scored the coach went wild, blowing his whistle excitedly. The boy was pretty amazed and ecstatic himself.

"Why didn't you pass me the ball?" I called.

"Oh please." Danny responded, like I was such a bother.

"I had a clear shot." I gestured to where I had been, in an ideal position to score and unguarded!

"Calm down boys," The coach warned, "keep the excitement down."

"Yeah," Danny snarled quietly at me, "don't get so excited, Duo."

I frowned at him and decided to create distance between us. From across the court I observed Eduardo approaching Danny and share a soft conversation with him. My body instantly tensed up when Danny threw an angry glance my way. Were they blaming me for the poor game strategy? I felt insulted, mainly because I knew that I was good at this game and I knew what I was capable of with the right teammates - actually, the only "right teammate" I needed to win was Heero, he could score from across the mid-line and even dunk at only five foot eight tall.

I smiled, remembering a time we played basketball at school, during a time we were required to lay low.

"Let's start again boys." The ball was returned to the court and the game continued. I stopped my musing and chased after the ball, but none of my teammates passed the ball to me, consequently forfeiting a sound strategy. We basically had no offence with only two active players and I by myself couldn't block every pass and shot from the other team, as the two less athletics guys just stood by and appreciated the game from a distance and both Danny and Eduardo had only interest in being a star and invested themselves at the other side of the court.

Hunter made his approach to score a fifth time, against our single point, but I managed to steal the ball away from him. Realizing they had turned this team sport into a competition of individuals, I chose not to pass the ball to Eduardo, who was free to my left. I dribbled through the opponents and my own teammates, but Danny wouldn't have it. I didn't see him coming but he made his presence known by slamming into my side, throwing off my balance and knocking the ball from my hands.

As I fell, Hunter went for the unguarded ball, but the coach, previously preoccupied with the girl's play, blew his whistle at the obvious foul.

"I'm on your team, asshole!" I yelled, dangerously angry - Shinigami angry - rising to my feet and strongly pushing Danny back as he invaded my personal space.

"Don't touch me!" He warned with a despicable tone of voice.

"Boys!" The coach placed himself between the two of us, but like two predators fighting for territory, we kept our focus on each other, locking wild gazes.

The young coach reprimanded Danny for the body slam, but mildly in my opinion, then he turned to me and said: "Remember Duo, this is a team sport. There is no I in team." His attention was called away from us when high pitched screaming and yelling resounded. The coach jogged over to the other court to stop two girls amidst a gathering crowd from pulling each other's hair out. I watched him go with an incredulous expression. As if I didn't have enough to deal with, the school was suddenly turning against me! Just last week Danny said "Hello" to me and we touched fists in what I had interpreted as a friendly manner. Now he seemed to be disgusted by my presence!

Beside me, someone scraped their throat, obviously to get my attention.

I looked to the side, then down at one of unpopular members of the other team. I didn't know his name and I regretted that and scolded myself for that as I looked at his friendly face and he kindly, though shyly pointed out: "You're bleeding."

I followed his gaze to my arm. Upon my landing I had badly damaged the skin of my left elbow, trying to catch the weight of my falling body. The skin was raw and torn in places, a single trail of blood went down to my little finger. "Oh." With my shirt I wiped away the blood. Noticing his concerned expression I assured him it was nothing. "It doesn't hurt." I added.

"It looks like it does."

"It doesn't." Maybe if I had been a regular high school kid, it would hurt, or at least feel sore. But I've been shot and beaten up. Pain is a relevant sensation and it's meaning is altered by life experiences. My life experiences made me deem my injury as nothing more than a scratch. I decided to introduce myself when a few seconds later he was still standing there. The coach was too busy with the girls to restart our game.

He smiled, with a surprised but happy glint to his eyes. "Hi. I'm Aston. We're in math together."

"Oh." I felt guilty for not noticing him before.

"Yeah," he chuckled awkwardly, he tucked a loose strand of his blond hair behind his ear, "You're the only one who has ever gotten a grade higher than me on a test. You're good."

"Thanks." Match just came naturally to me, after G forced it down my throat for years. I could still hear him scream in my ear: "If you want to make things go BOOM, you have to know math!"

I turned my attention to the commotion on the girl's court as the volume only increased as time progressed.

"Ladies, calm down!" The coach frantically tried.

"She's a sleazy bitch!"

I hurried over when I recognized Sookie's voice and I saw the coach separating her from Aiden like he had separated me from Danny. Murder was in their eyes.

"You're an ugly troll!" Aiden shouted back.

"Skank!"

"Dyke!"

Sookie lunged forward but the coach stopped her before she could get near to Aiden. "That's it!" He yelled. "To the principal's office! Now, young lady!"

I inserted myself into the drama, approaching Sookie, who was obviously upset. "Sookie, what's going on?"

"Don't get yourself into this, Duo." The coach warned. "You go back to your own court."

I watched Sookie leave the field and head for the school's entry. "But, I want to go with her." I argued. "She's upset." I had no clue how to deal with emotional teenagers, having never been one and having never encountered one - save Relena -, but I figured Sookie was my friend and if I wanted her to remain my friend, I would have to learn how to deal with this sooner or later.

"No, Duo. Go back."

"But-"

"No!"

I knew exactly how to get him to allow me to go with her. With a mischievous grin I said: "Asshole."

The coach seemed to implode, his face turned a furious shade of red. "To the principal's office, Maxwell!" He yelled, not realizing he had been played.

"Oh no, not the principal's office." I mocked, but I already started walking away. Once I had cleared the field I quickened my pace to a jog to catch up with Sookie. I caught her in the hallway by the locker rooms, she hadn't dressed, but she had taken the liberty to get her bag first. Principal Murphy would probably send her home.

"Sookie." I slowed down once I was beside her. The exercising with Heero was already paying off, I wasn't even panting. I felt uncomfortable and unsure of myself when I noticed she was crying. I searched my memory, but no, I had never had to comfort a crying girl before. "Eh..." Words always failed me when I needed them most.

"What are ya doing here?" She asked as we walked towards the principal's office.

"Called Taylor an asshole."

A smile broke through her sad expression. She chuckled and wiped away some of her tears. "Ya did? He must've shit his pants with fury."

"Sooks," I gently said, using the nickname I remembered other people call her by, realizing that if there was ever a time to adopt it, it would be at that moment, "what's going on?"

"Nothing." She lied innocently. "I hate her guts and she hates mine."

We arrived at our destination and the clerk told us to sit down. "The bench of shame" - as it was known - that's where we took our seat. "This wasn't a regular fight." I pressed. "I've never seen you guys fight before, so why now?" I tried to empathize and tried to put myself in her position to understand. I was finding it incredibly hard, but I supposed I shouldn't be too disappointed in myself for not being able to identify with a dramatic teenage girl.

She groaned and then looked at me like something suddenly dawned on her. "Ya really don't know, do ya?"

I shrugged. Obviously I didn't.

"Don't ya check yer school mail?"

"Why would I?" I defended. "Supposedly it's for teachers to assign homework, but all my teachers are so "late cretaceous" that they never use it."

"Well, students use it too." She informed me.

"For what?"

She thought about something clever to say and finally responded, quoting mister Ducette, who liked to work his PhD in Psychology into every conversation: "Organizing the social structure of the school population."

"Meaning?" I asked, feeling incredibly dense.

"Cyber bullying." She clarified.

The door of the principal's office opened and a rebellious looking boy casually stepped out, his hands deep in his pockets and a satisfied grin on his face. He was followed by principal Murphy, who looked flustered and annoyed. "Next?" She asked the clerk, who nodded over to us. "Duo," she said with a surprised tone to her voice as she recognized me, "I didn't expect to find you sitting there. What did you do?"

"I called mister Taylor an asshole."

She sighed heavily. "Oh boy..." She drawled, then gestured for me to follow her inside. "Come in."

Before I closed the door behind me, Sookie advised: "Ya should really check yer mail." I nodded, understanding what she meant. An email was the cause of all the drama earlier and I would have to read it to fully understand.

Murphy kindly offered me a seat. She didn't come off as threatening, angry or even like she was going to give me any punishment at all. "So you called mister Taylor an asshole." She started, grabbing a blank form from a large stack on the corner of her desk. She clicked on her ball pen by pressing it against the surface of the desk. "Why?"

"'Cause he was being an asshole?" I deadpanned.

She dryly looked up at me, her pen hovering over the form. "Do you really want me to write that down?"

I didn't. Taylor was notorious for getting students suspended, using the powers higher up in the chain to establish his authority as a first year teacher. I didn't want to get suspended. "No. I just wanted to go with Sookie, she was upset. But he didn't let me. He was being an asshole, honestly."

She wrote down my story. "Hmhm," she appreciated, "why was she upset?"

"Apparently some email has been sent around using the school's mailing list. That's what started a fight during P.E. Hair pulling and that sort of stuff."

She looked up, her expression had turned serious. "What kind of mail?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, I haven't read it yet. But it's got everyone on edge."

"How many students was this email sent to?" She asked, using the computer on her desk to check her own account. Obviously no one had been stupid enough to send a copy to her or one of teachers, or she would have been notified already.

"I think everyone."

"Do you," she second-guessed herself before she continued, "it might be inappropriate, but do you mind logging in on my computer, see if you have this mail?"

"No." I walked around her desk and she rolled her chair out of my way. I quickly typed in my log-in ID and password, fingers fluent, nimble and deliberate. Heero wasn't the only one who could work magic with a computer. It took a while for the outdated computer to log me in, but there it was. I only had one, unread mail in my inbox.

Murphy took over, moving the mouse and clicking on the mail with the subject: ImPoRtAnT! IT'S CONTAGIOUS!

The computer uploaded the email and it popped up on the screen.

SOUTHERN SKANK SOOKIE SHAW INFECTED DUO WITH HER DYKENESS!1! THE BUTCH BITCH RUBBED OFF HER FILTHY GAYNESS! IT'S CONTAGIOUS! SHUN THE LISTICK LESBIAN! SHUN THE DYKE OR YOULL GET IT TOOO! (1)

Both principal Murphy and I were shocked. When she composed herself she scrolled through the list of receivers, back up to the original sender.

Aiden Pippa.

"I- I don't understand." I stammered. "I spoke to her, she was being nice to me." I felt rage boiling up inside of me. This girl was vicious! Evil! She made Relena seem like a chocolate sprinkled, pink frosted, mini cupcake!

"Don't worry Duo. I'll make sure this will be handled accordingly." She rose from her chair and walked to the door. I followed her. While Murphy told the clerk to call someone to get Aiden to her office, I exchanged meaningful looks with Sookie.

"Miss Shaw," Murphy said, turning to Sookie with an apologetic face. "You can go home, it's fine."

Sookie nodded, grateful to be able to leave and shouldered her bag. Before she left, with me on her tail, she was called back by the principal.

Murphy, with a determined face, said to her: "I'm not supposed to condone violence, especially on the school's premises but... well done." She finished with a nod.

"Thanks." Without further ado, Sookie left, eager to go home.

"Wait. Sookie. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought ya knew, everyone knows."

"About the mail or about you being gay...or," I bit my lip, hoping I hadn't said something wrong, presuming the hate mail had a basis in reality.

"Well, I didn't think ya knew I was gay at first, but I thought ya'd figure it out." She stopped at the main entry of the school. "Ya should probably go back. Get changed. Next class is starting soon."

"I'm not going back." I said determinedly. "I'm walking you home."

"Bus. I take the bus."

"Fine, then I'm bussing you home." She didn't laugh at my joke, but it was pretty lame and she was having a hard day. In the bus, we didn't say anything. I didn't want to bring it up because I was afraid she wouldn't want nosy listeners in the vehicle knowing what had just transpired, or about her sexual orientation. The silence left me time to ponder a second aspect of the mail. The accusation that her gayness had rubbed off on me, meaning that everyone who had read the mail - apparently everyone in school - perceived me as gay. It explained Danny's behavior from before.

I paused myself for a moment. As opposed to what I thought, as I was struggling to figure out "which way I swayed", "what team I batted for", it didn't upset me that people knew or thought me to be gay. The only thing that bothered me was how negatively people responded to the fact. It was one of those things that made you wonder if anything had really changed since the twentieth century, or since medieval times, for that matter. Or if we have just gotten better at hiding the truth within ourselves, where we secretly nurtured our biased hatred. In a few generations time, I mused, we could all be like Heero, looking impassive and blank on the outside but experiencing the inner turmoil that we always feel and in this present day, feel more comfortable showing.

"We need to get off at the next stop." Sookie said, jostling me awake from my deep thoughts.

We got out of the bus and I realized we had traveled quite far out of town. She took me to a large, iron cast gate that framed a low rise, wide building with tiny balconies that treasured a wide variety of flowers and ceramic gnomes. I stopped, perplexed, at the golden sign by the entry.

Sunny Hillside Retirement Home.

"I live here with my grandparents." Sookie answered the unasked question. "They moved down to Florida when grandpa retired early. Heart problems. My ma and pa send me down here two years ago. When I told 'em I was gay. They don't really like that in the traditional suburbia of the Southern states."

"I'm sorry." I offered.

"I'm not."

"Then I'm sorry about the mail. Is that why you were absent yesterday?"

"Yeah. I just wanted to wait for it to blow over, but grandpa made me go. Usually I do get to stay home for a week, so I don't have to rip out chunks of hair." She smiled.

I smiled back.

"Ya don't have to worry about it. They really will forget in a week and the notion of ya supposedly being gay won't stick, after all, ya peek into the girl's locker room."

"I don't do that!" I argued with a smile. "You made that up!"

"Well, as did Aiden about ya being gay."

I shrugged, I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell her, but she had been so candid, I almost felt like I owed it to her to return a piece of personal information. "Maybe she didn't..." I muttered.

"Oh?" When I remained silent and cast my glance down, she continued: "Duo, obviously I'm not gonna mind if yer gay. Ya can tell me."

I squirmed and as soon as I noticed I was doing it, I stopped myself. A Shinigami doesn't squirm, I said to myself with a hint of humor. "Aiden saw me in the gym with Heero. She said something about him that I didn't like and I almost bit her head off."

Sookie chuckled, her sullen mood forgotten. "So, Heero huh? Now I definitely have to meet him! To make ya rethink yer sexuality, he must be quite an amazing guy."

I couldn't fight back the heartfelt smile that crept up on me. "He is. But I'm not sure! About being... gay, I mean." I added. "It's so confusing! I've been thinking about it all week, but I just can't figure it out."

She nodded. "That's why ye've been so silent."

"Yeah..."

"What makes ya doubt so much?"

I realized I needed to tell someone, or these questions would eat away at me. Though I should not be grateful that Sookie has had to go through what she had, I was grateful of the possibility to have someone who would understand and could help me. Once I had decided to trust her, words just started pouring out, even as my cheeks grew red with embarrassment. "I guess... because I don't think about sex, with him. But every time I see him or think about him I'm just like... I don't know how to say it. I'm usually quite good with words!"

"Just breathe, Duo." She said with a smile, "It's just communication. I'm not asking you to quote Shakespeare, just say how you feel."

"I love him." I blurted. "But I don't know what kind of love that is. I don't know if it's romantic or not."

"Because you're not thinking about sex?"

I nodded, eager for her advice.

"Sex and romance... are two very different things my friend." She leaned in to give me a kiss on my cheek. "And once you accept the romance... the sex will come." She whispered that last part as an old lady passed us. "I gotta go. Ye'll figure it out." She started walking away from me.

"Wait! What are you saying? Is it just love, or love love?"

She frowned at me but her lips kept the smile. "I don't know what that means!"

I smiled back. "Heero will."

"Than tell him!" With one final wink, she opened a door of one of the apartments and disappeared.

"Yeah..." I said to myself. "Just tell him." Feelings of nervousness were growing in my stomach and I swallowed heavily to get a knot out of my throat. "It's just communication..."


(1) Yes, this actually happens. We had a task on cyber bullying during the social psychology course at the university and wow... people can be vicious when they are "anonymous". I've read some actual examples of cyber bullying, one of which led to the suicide of the girl that was being bullied and I was just so shocked by it. In comparison, Aiden is being a sweetheart. It makes you rethink the benefits of things like social networks. Hard to swallow is that the bitches and bastards are hardly ever caught, with screen names that lead to nowhere.


PS: I feel quite uncertain about this chapter... But once I had written it, I couldn't bear to delete all the work. I just don't want the story to stagnate, the good part is nearing and I don't want to postpone that any longer than I absolutely have to ;)