Matthew had decided to take up his vacation days to spend time with Vincent. It really wasn't much of a hassle, since the faculty had been bitching for years for Matthew to take a vacation.

Honestly, he sometimes though he worked too hard.

He stared at the ceiling, blinking and realizing that he'd been here for almost a month. He was starting to feel a little homesick, but that was a given, honestly.

But he felt queasy. Mostly uneasy.

He fingered at the hair that was still too short. His eyes closed and he took a deep breath.

Lilli was ready to burst at any moment. Matthew honestly wanted to see the new addition to the family that he wasn't exactly a part of.

His hair got in his eyes and he bit his lip, a memory of Rachel putting on the wig they made out of his hair. It looked like her hair, maybe a little too brown, but it was close enough.

There was no say on how she was doing. He was worried.

He was worried over everyone in this family.

Vincent was the only one that wasn't so fucked up. He was holding the family together. Simon was so worried about Lilli that he was starting to have night terrors. Rachel would walk into their room, no matter if both he and Vincent were naked and slid in under the sheets, holding onto Matthew and whimpering for a while.

Matthew was confused. But it was nice.

It was nice because sometimes Rachel would be reading, and Simon would be holding Lilli and Vincent was in his lap, smiling as Matthew pet his hair, and he was happy.

He was very happy.

Of course, this wasn't his family. This was Vincent's family. His family was Alfred, and Gilbert, and tiny little Freddie who adored him and giggled when he held him. His family was picnics at the park as Matthew finished another portrait and Alfred held Freddie as he cooed.

Maybe both of these moments made them his family.

Lord knows Matthew loved Rachel. Simon might be a little… Weird, but he seems to enjoy Matthew.

He felt warmth spread through his chest and his body, as he realized that he had a family. He had a family, no matter that his parents still regarded him as an awful spawn. No matter if he himself only had Vincent with him.

He had family. He loved his family and they loved him.

He'd do anything for them.

"So is Lilli starting to feel better?"

Matthew said gently, biting into a dutch sweet and expecting a reply from Simon. The man turned to him, and his eye blinked. He then shook his head.

"Of course she is. She's very healthy, and she seems very stable compared to other times I've taken her to the doctor's,"

"That's good. Has she gotten sickness?"

"Not really. Just some swollen feet here and there,"

"And do you know the sex?"

Simon laughed and shook his head, turning the page in his book. Something about him always seemed so much older than he actually was. Maybe it was the way he held himself or his weirdly old way of talking.

Either way, Simon was intriguing.

"Not yet,"

"Do you not wish to know?" Matthew sipped on the coffee in his hand, his face heating up. He was starting to get sick, but he wasn't going to tell anyone. He didn't want to stress Vincent anymore than he already was.

"Not really. Lilli and her brother are so adamant about the sex being a surprise. I couldn't care less of the sex, as long as both Lilli and the baby are healthy,"

He closed his book and looked up at Matthew, meeting his gaze. For a second, he thought he saw through Matthew's rouse, and he could see that Matthew had a fever of 101 right now. For a second he thought that he could see that Matthew was sick and that he didn't want to stress anyone out.

He was a weird guy, he did weird things.

"I'm going to take a nap. I have to head into work later on, would it be a bother to ask you to take Lilli to her check up? I leave the keys on the table," He smiled and stared at Matthew.

"Not a problem," He said gently, and finished his food. He swallowed some water, and waited until Simon left to the room to stand up and rummage through the cabinets.

He took some pills, reading the label as he chewed the ashy tasting things.

"Caution: Do not use machinery while under influence of this drug,"

Matthew hesitated.

It was hours later, honestly he didn't have to worry about taking Lilli. Right?

He shrugged, shoving an extra dosage in his mouth, then chewed them up.

His eyes opened as Lilli pat his arm.

"Matthew?" Her voice was sweet and gentle and Matthew took in a deep breath. His head pounded, and he sat up. The couch was calling his name. He wanted to stay here.

He wanted to sleep.

"What is it?" He said, gently, rubbing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He wasn't sure that he was ok to do this.

"I need to go to my check up. It's not that far, and when you come home I'll make you a cake," She smiled wide at him, and Matthew felt his face break into a smile.

She's so sweet.

"Nah, that's alright," He stepped outside, blinking away sleep and realizing that it was snowing.

There was an awful silence ringing in his ears, and he took a deep breath, inhaling the cold, bitter air. At that moment, he felt awful.

He felt like he should go back inside. This wasn't time for driving, this was time for humans to go inside and enjoy warmth. Enjoy life.

He blinked again and it was gone. A dog barked, a car alarm went off. He shivered and Lilli came out with a light red sweater, handing it to him.

"It's Vin's. He's selling some of his art right now, so he won't be back til later at night,"

"Oh? He found buyers?"

"Yes! Rachel was talking about him so much in the cancer war that they told him to come in. They enjoyed his art so much they wanted him to try out a mural for the adult section,"

That made his smile grow bigger, and his heart warm up. He drove quietly, and thought about Vincent. His smell lingered on his sweater, and Matthew could practically feel his arms around him.

"You really care about him don't you?"

"More than you think Lilli,"

Lilli was quiet, her hand on her belly. She gently sighed, and continued to stare out the window.

Matthew was confused at the nervousness starting to make him uneasy. Why was it so bad?

The snow was starting to fall a little harder, and he started the windshield wipers.

"It's snowing too hard, Lilli," He whispered, stopping at a light. There weren't any cars at all, and Matthew turned to her, blinking.

She sighed heavily, but then shrugged.

"I can call to put it at a different time. How about we go back and I make you some food?"

She turned to smile at him and Matthew grinned.

"Oh, come on, sweetheart. You know I won't let you do that," He laughed, and was about to turn to a street to make a u turn when he saw a truck heading towards them.

And speeding.

His eyes were wide, and in the fraction of a second, he saw that the truck wasn't in the lane. That the man behind the wheel was losing control.

"I try so hard to protect her-"

Simon's words went through his head, and in those couple of seconds that Matthew turned and the truck sped towards, them, he slammed his hand on the brake, and took off his belt and her belt, moving her over to his side and tucking her between his body.

The truck slammed into the small car, crushing half of it, and pushing in the door. Matthew felt searing pain go up his side and he let out a shout, making Lilli star to scream.

Matthew was shaking and his eyes were still blinking away dots. There were noises around him, his body was almost nothing. Something warm trickled down his side, and he took shallow breaths.

"jdlkas?! AJDKFLASJ!?"

Someone was talking to him. Their voice was wavering and soft. Everything hurt, and he opened his eyes, looking at Lilli who was screaming and crying.

"You're… ok?" he whispered, his eyes closing as he started to feel himself bleed out. Lilli was screaming and crying, and then she was pulled out of the car by a man.

Matthew was too tired to fight him. Matthew was just happy that her and the baby were okay.

"She is strong..,"

Simon's words went through his head, and he looked down, seeing a metal shard sticking out of his stomach. He opened his mouth, and let blood drip out.

It was getting harder to breath.

Vincent's words rang in his ears. Freddie's cute little smile, the first time he talked…

Alfred and Gilbert smiled at him.

"I love you,"

He was sorry he didn't say it back. Because he understood that Vincent was scared and so was Matthew. He was scared, and everything was scary. Life was just a mess, he just want happiness and warmth…

But maybe that's not his place. Maybe it's not his place, because he wasn't ready to say things, because he wasn't really willing to let go. Maybe it was his place to keep Lilli here, and to let her and her new baby have a place.

If that meant he'd have to finish off so quickly, so be it.

Yes he was… scared….

But Lilli was ok. Simon was okay. Everyone was okay.

And Matthew was too.

"I love you too,"

Matthew spit out, and fell forward, and everything grew dark.