A Beautiful Heart
by EMPG22HoPe


You can see it there if you catch her eye
I know she's brave but it's trapped inside
Scared to talk but she don't know why


August 1993

"Papa, I can't do it." Astoria stressed morosely as tears brim her bright green eyes. She looked down at her wand in disappointment. She's never hated anything more than the little stick that she deems ever so useless now.

Given, Astoria had just received the rosewood, dragon heartstring wand from Ollivanders about a month ago. But since then, her parents have been teaching her basic spells in advance as she had requested.

The moment Astoria received her Hogwarts letter, she wanted nothing more than to know every bit of magic she can beforehand. She grew up in the company of books—spell books on charms, hexes and potions. It was all she ever wanted; to produce her own magic to make someone smile. Though she's succeeded in a fair bit few, she hasn't been quite successful in producing the patronus charm.

Her father said that it was extremely advanced magic, way beyond the levels of an incoming first year like her. But her parents had decided to take extra precaution this year with the escape of mass murderer Sirius Black. Astoria didn't think a patronus would be much help in defeating a murderer like Black. If anything, it'd just blind him temporarily before he'd manage to pounce on her.

Of course, she had argued this logical occurrence with her parents. But as soon as they mentioned that Dementors were to be stationed at the school—that's when she pulled up the drive to practice the charm.

Dementors were deathly terrifying, as far as Astoria has read of them. Though she's never seen one, it was always best to be equipped for a situation as such. It was only then, at the mention of Dementors, did she start doubling her efforts.

But try as she may, to double such efforts, she couldn't possibly do.

Astoria has tried every single happy memory she could think of: her first time eating chocolate, her first trip to her homeland, Greece, her and her sister playing in the fields of Greengrass manor, the first time she's fully read a book on her own. Oh, how she dug for all of it; but no amount of hardship into the happiest thoughts she could find seemed to work. Nothing came to her for over a month of trying to produce one.

"I'm sorry, papa." Twelve-year old Astoria sobbed considerably, every limb in her body exhausted as she threw her wand onto the warm grass. Then, with very little graced, plopped her little body down next to it.

A failure. That's what she was. A complete, utter failure—the spare, the little Greengrass that wasn't meant to be. "I'm sorry I failed you again. I can't do it. I just can't. I'm not like—"

"You're not like Daphne?" Her father asked warmly as he, too, sat on the grass before her.

Cepheus Greengrass had always been a firm father, but never quite as firm as Cassandra Greengrass, her mother. He was far more open, far more loving and caring than that of his wife. That is why her father was her favorite, and to disappoint him meant that she was never going to be anything in the wizarding world.

He offered her a piece of sweet wrapped in aluminum foil, one of her favorites—Chocoballs.

Astoria took the piece from him, unwrapped it and quickly popped the sweet into her mouth. The sweet filling of strawberry mouse filled her taste palette, making her feel just a tad bit better. She sniffed right after, trying to wipe her eyes with the back of her hand clumsily.

"Daphne's always going to be better than me." Astoria mumbled in a small voice. "She always has been. I tried to be like her. I really did."

"Why are you trying to be someone you're obviously not, my little star?" Cepheus said as he tried to get a glimpse of her, but Astoria trailed her eyes away; scared to make eye-contact with him. She heard him sigh before her, and she cringed at the assumption that it was a sigh of disappointment. "Can you tell me a time when either I or your mother asked you to be like Daphne?"

She tried to think of a time; but now that she did, she realized almost immediately that there wasn't. But naturally, Astoria made her own arguments. "I don't remember. But I do remember being clumsy during a trip to Athens. Mum looked furious, like she couldn't believe I even existed. And you were so mad. I'd have thought that since then... well, since then, that you'd both want me to be like Daphne. A little bigger, a little wiser and a little bit more careful… But I tend to be clumsy and... well..."

"A bit too much?" Cepheus asked, causing Astoria this time to look him in the eyes and nod. His face softened when she had looked at him, almost helpless. "Sweetie, we were angry, of course. But we would never think you never existed. When you were born, we were the happiest people alive. I, more even, when I found out your mother was pregnant. I admit, it was a bit of shock. But when we found out that we were going to have another little girl, it was just such... a thrill."

Astoria stared at her father wordlessly; her green eyes wide with wonder, causing some of her tears to stop.

"And then you came along—the sweetest little ray of sunshine to have ever graced this world. Too sweet for this world, perhaps." Cepheus chuckled as he shook his head and Astoria's lips twitched a bit. "I admit, your mother and I are a bit firm at times; but it's only to keep you in a bit of control. You do have a habit of being a tad rebellious yourself when things don't go your way."

A small laugh escaped Astoria's lips at that. She did have a tendency to question many things, and act differently over something she felt was wrong.

"Sure, you have a few mistakes here and there, but that doesn't make you a failure." Cepheus went on before placing a warm hand on her shoulder. "Sweetie, we have always been proud of you. We never even quite understood why you always copied Daphne to begin with. Admittedly, it was quite a change, but it was a change that challenged who you truly were. We didn't like it. In fact, we much like our clumsy, little Astoria rather than the always too-serious-for-Merlin one."

Suddenly, Astoria felt warm all over. She's never heard her father talk like this. If anything, this was probably the first time she'd ever had this kind of conversation—one that encouraged her rather than challenged her. It was incredibly refreshing, almost too surreal to even be true. But it had to be. She was sitting right there, hearing him say these words to her. It was remarkable.

"Fear keeps you alive, yes." Cepheus nodded, pursing his lips briefly before gracing her a wide smile. "It keeps us at bay. But it shouldn't stop us from believing in what could be good. It's not so bad, sweetie, believing in the good. You have always been so good, so loving and kind. Don't ever be afraid of anything that you might think we'd hate about you. We love you, Tori."

Astoria flung herself towards her father, hugging him in what seemed to be the tightest hug she'd ever given. Tighter than she would give her favorite big sister, Daphne, for the record. There were tears in her eyes again, but this time, they were of joy. Pure, unadulterated joy.

"There, there." Cepheus cooed at her before kissing the crown of her hair. "Ready for another round?"

The young girl nodded eagerly this time, pulling away from her father to pick up her wand that earlier laid forgotten on the grass. Astoria stood a little more confidently now, her green eyes that used to bear tears now held a sense of determination. For the first time in her life, she felt confident—she felt like her, the real her.

"Now, a little flick," Cepheus demonstrated with his own wand like he had for several weeks now. "And expecto patronum."

Astoria nodded and she closed her eyes, thinking of a happy memory. This memory. Today. The day her father said that she was proud of her and trusts her enough to be herself. The day she realized that she didn't need to be like her sister anymore. The day she finally knew that she was loved—for simply being her.

"Expecto Patronum!"

She braced herself for what could be yet another non-corporeal patronus, her eyes still tightly shut from the world. It was only when she heard her father whooping did she open her eyes.

A small, silver mist of a wild rabbit stared up at her innocently. Its little nose twitched. A loud cry of delight escaped Astoria's lips as she stared at the beautiful little mist before her. The rabbit chirped in front of her before moving a bit closer, away from her wand towards her. Astoria's eyes widened briefly out of fear, but she tried to move just as close. When she was merely inches from it, the rabbit made a small sound, and she thought she might have just heard her patronus chuckle.

She held out a hand and tried to caress the rabbit's head. Though she didn't feel anything solid, she felt a cold, though comforting air pass through her fingers.

"Hello, beautiful." Astoria said in a small voice as she grinned brightly at the rabbit, her father still running around and cheering somewhere behind her. "You're so pretty!"

The rabbit chirped once more as it stroked its head against the back of her hand lovingly before it swirled and moved away, dancing around her in a circle of silver mist.

"I did it, papa! I did it! Isn't she beautiful?" Astoria screamed in delight this time as the rabbit hopped around her in majestic swirls. It only moved away when her father went up to her and picked her up in a tight hug.

"My little star," Cepheus murmured against her hair. "I'm so proud of you."

Her patronus seemed to agree, because it chuckled and chirped as it swirled around them like a little barrier—dancing delightedly in the midst of such a father-daughter moment.

And for once, Astoria truly believed she could finally be herself.


Fanfiction Writing Month - July: 1,766 words
Eastern Hogwarts FunFair: Penny Slot Machine: 31. (word) exhausted / 50. (word) trust / 65. (emotion) joy
Fortnightly Challenge - Going Postal: Write about this character casting a patronus
Prompt of the Day: Day 11 - (color) silver

Insane House Challenge
923. Quote - "There are darkness in life and there are lights, and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights." – Bram Stoker, Dracula

365 Prompts
115. Emotion - Upset

Hamilton Mania - July
Act One -
6. Disobeying a parent - (relationship) parent/child
Optional Prompt: 21. (word) hardship


AN: I chose the rabbit patronus for Astoria based off two websites' description on the manner. Both websites (patronusmeaning and patron-a-bum from Tumblr) claim that those who possess the rabbit patronus can be:

Innocent and courageous person with an inquisitive side. Brave, smart and individual those with the Rabbit patronus have a uniquely pure soul. This enables you to see the good when others cannot but leaves you open to corruption if your intelligent mind does not remain sharp.

There is a purity to the rabbit, one that is incredibly rare. These people, no matter how many cynical or bitter ideas the world may give them, will always have a curious innocence to them. The world interests them greatly, and they want to explore it without being judged harshly. They are very sensitive and emotional, and are not embarrassed to show this. They can lack confidence at times, because they may have others put them down and make them feel like they are not as strong as everyone else. This is untrue, those with this patronus have beautiful hearts and serene souls deep within them, no matter what else goes on in their life. They need to hold onto this to find their true happiness.

This is how I immensely view Astoria, a person who sees the beauty in others, even when they don't see it. I have been roleplaying/writing for Astoria for three years now, and I believe after writing this fic, I have finally found the perfect patronus for her. I hope you all enjoyed reading, and don't forget to R&R! :')

EMPG22HoPe