Princess... Potter??? O_O
Previously on If Princess Tutu Was A Musical... The Lord Have Mercy On Our Souls:
Duck:
Unusually and exceedingly
peculiar
And altogether quite impossible to describe:Fakir:
Blonde.
"I'm not blone you twit!" Duck cried furiously, tugging at her red hair.
"Well, I'm not your roomate!" Fakir retorted. "It's just part of the song, go with it!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"Good."
"Glad we understand."
"Moving on?"
"Of
course."Duck: What
is this feeling,
So sudden and new?Fakir:
I felt the moment
I laid eyes
on you;
~:~:~
There was something very strange happening in Gold Crown Town today. Everywhere one looked, they saw Halloween preparations going on. That wasn't really unusual (aside from the fact that it was March...) but what was weird was...
"A-see-oh!"
"It's a-key-oh you moron!"
"I know that!"
No, Fakir and Ahiru arguing was completely normal. Their clothing choices could possibly be put down to the Halloween arrangements. However, the topic of their 'conversation' had little to do with the holiday season.
"I thought I was going to be Hermione!" Duck whined, being dragged along the Academy hallway. "Why does Rue-chan always get the best parts?"
"She has the right hair colour, moron," Fakir informed her, "And that is why you're Ginny. Red hair. You see? Look at it this way, at least you don't have to wear a wig like Mytho has to. And, you get to be his sister."
"But Rue-chan gets to be his girlfriend."
"So?"
"So!"
"Oh shut up before you hurt yourself. Ginny is still a major part."
"Yeah, but you're lucky Fakir," she said, changing attitudes from angry and sulking to happy and encouraging, "You get the most majorest part! Harry!"
He chose not to respond. It was best that way. He guessed that she didn't know much about the story; Harry and Ginny got to be a couple in the end, not Harry and Cho. Not that he was particularly interested in being paired up with Freya. "Just... hurry up and get to the rehearsal."
Fakir shoved on the borrowed glasses from Autor (apparently the boy didn't actually need them; but Fakir did feel pretty special with everyone thinking he could shoot lasers from his eyes (refer to chapter four)) and sat on the stool in the middle of the floor. Gold Crown Academy had been transformed into Hogwarts and somehow, everyone believed they were from Harry Potter's world. Fakir and Duck seemed to be the only ones aware that this all began with the desire to do a musical performance of it.
Fakir:
Underneath these stairs, I hear the
sneers and feel the glares of my cousin,
my uncle and my aunt.
Can't believe how cruel they are, and it stings my lightening scar
to
know they'll never, ever give me what I want. I know I don't deserve
these, awful rules
made by the Dursley's here on, Privet Drive.
Can't take these stupid muggles, but despite
all of my
struggles... I'm still alive! Sick of Summer and this waiting around.
Man it's September
so I'm skipping this town. Hey it's no mystery,
there's nothing here for me now!!
I
gotta get back to Hogwarts! I gotta get back to school. I gotta get
myself to Hogwarts,
where everyone thinks I'm cool. Back to
witches and wizards and magical beasts,
to goblins and ghosts and
to magical feasts, it's all that I love and it's all that I need
at
Hogwarts, Hogwarts I think I'm going back.
As the music continued to play, backstage, the rest of the cast were fixing their robes. Duck was annoyed; the red of Gryffindor clashed with her hair. Rue was also angry, "I'm always wearing red!" she complained.
"I thought it was purple...?" Autor added.
"Shut up!"
Fakir:
I'll see my friends, gonna laugh till we cry,
Take my Firebolt,
gonna take to the sky,
No way this year, anyone's gonna die!
And
it's gonna be totally awesome!
I'll
cast some spells with a flick of my wand,
Defeat the dark arts,
yeah bring it on!
And do it all with my best friend Ron,
Coz
together we're totally awesome.
Mytho: yeah, coz together we're totally awesome!
"Did somebody say Ron?" Mytho asked. Fakir paused a second, stunned; Mytho was wearing a wig. A red wig. He almost laughed.
"Ron, what are you doing here?"
"Hey man, sorry it took me so long, I had to get some... Floo Powder. But, come on, pack your things we gotta get going."
"Where are we going?"
"To Diagon Alley of course!"
Both boys raced around the stage, flapping their arms ridiculously and shouting, "Floo Powder power, Floo Powder power, Floo Powder power!"
Both:
It's been so long, but we're going back
Don't go for work, don't
go there for class
As long as we're together, gonna kick some
ass!
Coz together we're totally awesome!
This
year we'll take everybody by storm,
Stay up all night, sneak out
of our dorm
Rue:
But let's not forget that we need to perform
well in class, if we
want to pass our OWLs!
"Oh, Hermione, why do you have to be such a buzz kill?" Mytho demanded.
"Because guys, school's not all about fun and games, we have to work hard if we wanna be good witches and wizards," she replied, letting out an irritated grunt.
Rue:
I may be frumpy, but I'm super smart,
Check out my grades, they're
A's for a start,
What I lack in looks, well I make up in heart
And
well guys, yeah that's totally awesome!
This year I plan, to study a lot...
Mytho: That would be cool if you were actually hot
Here, Rue very nearly burst into tears. Stupid Princess Tutu, returning the heart shard of acting ability to Mytho yesterday. If it weren't for that, he would suck at this, and he wouldn't have been able to say she wasn't 'hot' so convincingly! She held herself together though, knowing that somewhere inside her, she had a heart shard of acting ability too!
Fakir: Hey Ron, come on, we're the only friends that she's got!
Mytho: And that's cool...
Rue: and that's totally awesome!
All:Yeah, it's so cool and it's totally awesome!
The rest of the cast emerged on stage behind the three, and 'Ron', 'Hermione' and 'Harry' continued to sing. The cast danced ludricrously, and the audience (that would be Kura-chan) wondered how ballet dancers managed to fail so epically.
We're
sick of Summer and this waiting around!
It's like we're sitting in
the lost and found!
Don't take no sorcery, for anyone to see
how...
We
gotta get back to Hogwarts!
We gotta get back to school!
We
gotta get ourselves to Hogwarts!
Where everything is, magic-ooool!
Back
to witches and wizards and magical beasts,
to goblins and ghosts
and to magical feasts,
It's all that I love and it's all that I
need at
Hogwarts, Hogwarts, we think we're going back.
Duck rushed out onto the stage, wailing, "Rooooon! You were s'posed to take me to Madam Malkin's and use those sickles mum gave you..."
"Uhh, who's this?" Fakir interrupted.
"This is stupid dumb little sister Ginny, Ginny this is Harry. Potter! He's Harry Potter."
As Duck shook Fakir's hand, she struggled not to laugh; he really looked ridiculous with those glasses! "Oh my god... you're Harry Potter... you're the boy who lived!"
"Yeah.... you're Ginny," Fakir said awkwardly.
"I-it's Ginevra," she corrected.
"Cool... I'll stick with Ginny."
Mytho walked over and clapped his hands above her head, causing her to yelp. "Stupid sister! Don't crowd the famous friend."
Music began to float across the stage, and the four began to look for the source. "Hey, do you guys here music?"
"Yeah what is that?"
"Someone's coming."
Freya,
Raetsel and Hermia: Cho
Chang, domo arigatou, Cho Chang
Gung fat hey Choy Chang, Happy
Happy New Year, Cho Chang!
Duck whimpered, "Aww... who's that?"
"That's uh... That's Cho Chang," Fakir told her.
"Yeah, that's the girl Harry's totally been in love with since freshman year," Mytho gave more detail.
"But he won't say anything," Rue added.
"Well of course not, you never tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like an idiot!" Mytho argued. Fakir found himself silently agreeing; if he ever told Duck... well, he could just imagine how he would suffer. Besides, she was Princess Tutu, and she couldn't exactly devote time to a relationship; she was busy jumping around, seeking out every single friggin' emotion Mytho needed. For Drosselmeyer's sake, acting ability wasn't even a feeling! It was a brain function! He didn't carve out his brain... oh, wait... did he even have a brain?
"Konnichiwa Cho Chang, it... is... nice... to.... meet... you. I'm Ginny Weasley," Duck was speaking to Raetsel, enounciating clearly.
"Bitch I ain't Cho Chang!" Raetsel snapped.
Mytho stalked over and clapped above her head again. "Stupid that's Lavender Brown! Racist little sister!"
"It's okay," Freya walked over, putting on a southern gal accent, "I'm Cho Chang ya'll."
"Oh, she's perfect," Fakir said, failing to put enough emotion into it.
"Yeah, but it's too bad she's dating Cedric Diggory, right?" Mytho said.
"Seriously, who the hell is Cedric Diggory?"
"You know, he's that guy, he's like you, only taller and..." Mytho trailed off as Femio shoved in between them, and began to dance with Freya. (A/N: actually, Femio could please that girl - he has an endless supply of flowers, you know?)
Femio:Cho Chang! I am so in love, with Cho Chang! From Bangkok to Diiing Dang! I'll sing my love aloud, for Cho Chang!
"Man, I hate that guy!"
Kura-chan makes a cameo appearance: Please note that in the original musical, there was more dialogue in this part. What I am using comes directly from the soundtrack, which cuts a small portion of the dialogue, which introduced Neville and Goyle and Crabbe. Thankyou.
Autor walked onto the stage, glasses-less (since Fakir was wearing them) "Did somebody say, Draco Malfoy??" he cried exaggeratedly. The other four groaned collectively, and Fakir said, "Ugh, Malfoy what do you want?"
"So Potter," Autor continued, circling them like a vulture, "Back for another year at Hogwarts are you? Maybe this year you'll wise up and hang out with a higher calliber of wizard," he struck a pathetic pose in the center of the floor.
"Listen Draco, Ron and Hermione are my best friends in the whole world, I wouldn't trade them for anything," Fakir said, an arm around Mytho and Rue's shoulders, while Duck tried to join in, Mytho shoved her aside.
"Have it your way," he spotted Duck and smirked. "Wait, don't tell me. Red hair, hand-me-down clothes, and a stupid complexion...? You must be a Weasley."
Mytho stepped forwards, "Hey, Malfoy, lay off my sister ok? She may be a pain in the ass, but she's my pain in the ass."
"Oh, isn't this cute? It's like a little loser family." As the four walked off-stage, Autor, flanked by Lillie and Pike (dressed as boys) began his own monologue. "Hogwarts has really gone to the dogs. But luckily next year, I'll be transferred to Pigfarts!"
Autor:
This year you bet, gonna get outta here,
The reign of Malfoy is
drawing near,
I'll have the greatest wizard career,
It's gonna
be totally awesome!
Look
out world for the dawn of the day,
when everyone will do, whatever
I say!
And Potter won't be in my way,
Then I'll be the one who
is totally awesome!
Lillie: Yeah you'll be the one that is totally awesome! (she rather shouted this, her voice considerably deeper than usual... more than a few eyebrows were raised. A box of popcorn fell to the floor.)
Rue raced back on stage, the rest of the ensemble following behind. "Come on guys, we're going to miss the train!"
They all stood as if on a train, and moved their arms like wheels. It seemed that Hogwarts was on a tight budget, casting mass hallucination spells on the students to believe they were on a train.
All:
Who knows how fast, this year's gonna
go,
Hand me a glass let the butterbeer flow,
Fakir: Maybe at last, I'll talk to Cho!
Mytho: Oh no, that'd be way too awesome!
All:
We're back to learn everything that we can,
It's great to come
back to where we began,
And here we are, and Alakazam!
Here we
go this is totally awesome!
C'mon
and teach us everything you know,
The Summer's over and we're
itchin' to go,
Uzura (as Neville): I think we're ready for, Albus Dumbledore!
All: Ahhhhhhhhh!
Drosselmeyer:
Welcoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-o-o-o-ome
all of you, to Hogwarts.
I welcome all of you, to school!
Did
you know that here at Hogwarts,
We've got, a hidden swimming
pool?
Welcome, welcome, welcome Hogwarts,
Welcome hotties,
nerds, and tools,
Now I've got you here at Hogwarts,
I'd um,
I'd like to go over just a couple of rules.
"My name is Albus Dumbledore, and I am headmaster of Hogwarts. You can all call me, Dumbledore. S'pose you could also call me Albus if you want a detention, uh! I'm just kiddin', I'll expel you if you call me Albus."
All:
Back to witches and wizards and magical
beasts,
to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts,
It's all
that I love and it's all that I need at Hogwarts, Hogwarts...
Back to spells and enchantments, potions and friends,
Fakir, Duck, Rue, Mytho, and Uzura: To Gryffindors!
Femio: Hufflepuffs!
Freya, Raetsel and Hermia: Ravenclaws!
Lillie, Pike and Autor: Slytherins!
All: Back to the place where our story begins at Hogwarts, Hogwarts!
Drosselmeyer: I'm sorry what's its name?
All: Hogwarts, Hogwarts!
Drosselmeyer: I didn't hear you kids!
All: Hogwarts, Hogwarts!
Fakir: Man I'm glad I'm back!
Everyone heaved a great sigh of relief, the song ending, and everyone going backstage before they had to rehearse for the next scene. The audience who had gathered to watch the rehearsal vacated the vicinity, and Fakir slumped on a chair beside Duck. "So, still upset about being Ginny?"
She appeared not to hear him, mumbling under her breath, "Ah-key-oh, ah-key-oh, not, ah-see-oh."
"Why are you even bothered by that? It's my line, not your's," Fakir reminded her.
"Dammit! Now he tells me."
"ARGH!" a voice shouted, and everyone stared. Autor was glaring at the script, "NO ONE TOLD ME THAT MYTHO GOT RUE AND NOT ME!!!"
"Clearly, he hasn't read the books."
Two figures shuffled around, back to back. Everyone stared. "What?" Mr Cat mewled.
"Yeah, what?" growled the raven.
"Tell me... why again, did we have two animals playing Quirrel and Voldemort?"
No one answered.
~:~:~
Kura: And that's a wrap. The song is "Get Back To Hogwarts" from "A Very Potter Musical" which can be viewed in 23 parts on youtube. It is well worth it. There will be a return of this too, so be prepared: that was the longest song in the musical... I'm sorry. Anyway, I realise it's pretty much just writing what happened in the show, but still, I had to, I couldn't resist.
I hope you enjoyed it.
Autor: Why, why am I Malfoy?
Kura: Because, let's face it, you fit the part. I mean, you have unrequited feelings for Rue, and in the original musical, Malfoy has unrequited feelings for Hermione. That's that. Besides, you already envy Fakir, same as Malfoy does. And you're ambitious. Understand?
Fakir: Now that she mentions it... you are pretty similar.
Autor: You make me hate you so much more.
Duck: Kura-chan doesn't own Princess Tutu, Harry Potter, or A Very Potter Musical.
Fakir: Thank god she doesn't, because if she did...
Duck: I'd be Ginny forever!!! I wanted to be Hermione, I wanted to be with Mytho!!!
Rue: Well, now you get to be with Fakir. It's a better match. Besides, I'll bet you wouldn't be able to bare it if Mytho said you weren't hot. I'll forever hate Tutu for returning that damned heart shard.
Mytho: I'm pretty happy. I got to eat on stage. -noms on chips-
Kura-chan: Hey! Those are mine!!!
