Chapter Seven

Eddie laid on her side, her legs on her wedge, listening to the shower running. She barely slept last night, unable to quiet her mind and her heart. She spent the time biting her lip so hard it bled onto the pillowcase, trying not to let on she was crying.

As Eddie rested, exhausted from the long night, and feeling some rough acid reflux, in her chest, Eddie heard Jamie's phone go off. Raymond had learned the sounds of the cell phones but on occasion he brought Eddie the wrong phone so Eddie wasn't surprised when he appeared with Jamie's phone. "Thanks, Raymond. Oh Raymond, this is Jamie's phone."

The message alert went off again, Eddie saw a message, "Hi, Jamie…it's Dana, I hope you have the same number. Lunch at the diner? 1230?"

Eddie's heart fell, lunch with Dana…That didn't feel good either, especially after Jamie's abrupt and unexplained rejection. Eddie looked at the dog, his eyes were so expressive, as if he could see into her soul. "What do you think, Raymond?" Eddie asked. "You think Jamie is realizing what people warned him about was true? That I'm more work than I'm worth. I still have you though right?"

Raymond got on the bed and laid his head by Eddie's belly. She moved her arm slightly to rub his head, "You're such a good boy, Raymond. Such a good friend to me already. How about we hang out here today, you and me we can stay here…in bed…"

Raymond sat up when he heard Jamie turn of the shower and positioned himself so Jamie would have to get through him before he could see or talk to Eddie. "Lay down," Eddie told her dog but he kept alert.

"Eddie, you okay?" Jamie asked seeing she hadn't moved much at all. "You need me to call Pop to come over earlier?"

Jamie went to sit down on the bed beside Eddie but Raymond growled at him.

"Raymond, no teeth!" Jamie commanded. "Bed…"

"I'd like you to stay today, Jamie," Eddie replied. "You have days and I'm just…I'm kind of feel heartburn and I'm so tired…"

Jamie sighed, "Why don't we call Nancy them? Or Linda to come. I can't take off right now unless you are really sick…"

"No, I'm not really sick," Eddie replied. "There was a day though when you would…"

Jamie sighed, Eddie was feeling vulnerable and down since JJ was born. He knew it was more of the same and this would continue until they saw the specialist.

"I will put in for tomorrow and we can spend all day together all right?" Jamie offered. "If you feel sick and tired today, just lie still and rest. Pop will come by to check on you."

Jamie brushed hair off Eddie's face. "I have to go, Raymond, take good care of her today."

Raymond sat up straight in obedience, the went back onto the bed with Eddie as Jamie headed out the door, never replying to the text on his phone from Dana.

Kara Walsh sat in plain clothes and a baseball cap outside the diner at 1228. She was answering a call for help from Eddie who had contacted her in tears about Jamie meeting an old girlfriend. Kara could not believe Eddie was right about this, Jamie Reagan was a lot of things but a cheater and liar just did not find their way on the list. Kara was shocked when Jamie arrived in uniform to meet with Dana.

Kara's heart dropped, how on earth was she going to tell Eddie this…

Inside the diner, Jamie sat down across from Dana. "I only agreed to this for one reason," Jamie said firmly. "To state in terms plain and firm that I am not confused, I am not rebounding…I love my wife, I have loved her for more years than I should have considering I was a married man when I met her. She is my true soulmate and if her disability was worse than this and it almost was I would still love her, because I don't love her in spite of her disability, I just love her."

Dana sat back, "Okay…I just wanted to catch up with you and…"

"Dana, I know my wife. This will do nothing but hurt her feelings! I only met with you to say goodbye"

Dana looked Jamie in the eye, "You really do love her…"

Jamie nodded, "I do. I'm sorry I was so harsh. I left Eddie this morning still in bed and something is off…"

Dana nodded, fully understanding. "If you and Eddie are ever up in Boston look me up…We can have dinner, my building has an elevator and I have a nice soft chair…She's a wonderful woman, you are lucky."

When Jamie headed out of the restaurant he saw Kara sitting in her personal car. Jamie sighed, Eddie was going to find out now for sure. Jamie was glad he recorded his words to Dana on his phone, he wanted Eddie to hear the conversation, but he had to make sure she was okay to hear it. She had been through a lot physically since their wedding and now emotionally since JJ was born.

For her part, Eddie had remained in bed even after Henry came to help her get up and dressed. She sent him on his way to spend time with Colleen, calling Melissa to come over to talk. Marcus was off that day, meaning Jamie would have a stand in partner or ride alone leaving him plenty of time to divert for lunch with Dana.

"I don't think he's cheating," Eddie assured her friend. "But…I have never felt more crippled than I did last night. I was invisible to her, I'm used to that, but to Jamie."

"I know,' Melissa replied. "And Marcus heard about it from me that he let it go like that. That was wrong on many levels. It's all right though," Melissa soothed. "I'm sure Jamie apologized."

"Yeah, he did," Eddie sighed. "He said he was caught off guard and I thought everything was okay, then we started to kiss and I was ready to let it all go, then…" Eddie's voice choked up remembering the pain at her husband's rejection.

"Oh, don't cry," Melissa sighed. "What if I come over, I'll bring JJ and you can give him some cuddles, we'll talk it through before Jamie comes home."

That sounded good to Eddie and hung up. "Raymond, come…"

The loyal dog arrived and slowly Eddie and Raymond got her into her wheelchair. "Good boy, Ray," Eddie praised. "Go get a treat!"

Eddie drove to the living room and waited for Marcus and Melissa to arrive. With Ray's help she got some drinks in the cooler and had crackers on the table, Eddie sat back and smiled, as the door bell rang. "Ray, door…"

Raymond ran to the door and worked the lock open and pulled the door to reveal Kara, instead of Melissa and Marcus. Ray sat but blocked Eddie until she commanded him to do so stating Kara was a "friend." He moved back but stayed close.

"He's something huh?" Eddie smiled so proud of her dog.

"Yes, he is. Perhaps you can train him to bite Jamie," Kara sighed. "I'm sorry, he was there with her for about a half hour, but he left before her and he headed back to the 12th."

"So it's possible that he just had lunch with her or had something to say to her," Eddie replied. "That's not long enough for Popeye to eat a spinach salad…"

"No, but he did go and he didn't tell you so I thought I better," Kara replied as the bell rang again.

"Got it, Ray," Eddie told the dog as she commanded the door to open for Melissa Marcus, and baby JJ.

"Hey," Melissa headed over to Eddie. "Oh, no what happened…" She could see it in Eddie's eyes.

"He had lunch with her,' Eddie sighed. "And I can't do anything about it. Just sit here and wait to confront him or wait until he decides to tell me…" Eddie huffed in frustration, "I hate this stupid chair!"

"It's okay, Eddie," Melissa soothed. "I know it's hard, before I met Marcus I felt like no one would ever love me because of my chair…Jamie does, he's just having some problems right now, I'm sure of it."

Marcus sighed, "He's been struggling since JJ was born." Marcus looked at his new son, still such a quiet sweet tempered boy. "I think that and then the baby and her Mom dying in his arms, I'll try to talk to him and be a better partner."

Melissa rubbed Marcus' leg, "You're a good partner, honey. I'm sorry I said you weren't, I think you're right…"

Eddie took a breath, "Okay enough of this, there's crackers on the table and some dips in the fridge. Let's eat and enjoy each other as friends. Hand over that little baby…"

Kara helped Eddie make her arms and put the baby in Eddie's arms for a snuggle while Marcus and Melissa got snacks ready.

Jamie came home a little after five to not one but four angry humans faces and one put out dog face. He knew as soon as he saw Kara outside the diner he would have no choice but to face Eddie even though he planned to all along.

"Hey," Jamie smiled. Raymond walked over to approve him then sat down near Eddie. "See Ray put you in your chair today, you're a little crooked," Jamie smiled. He leaned down to kiss Eddie's lips. "Hey, pretty girl…" He tuned out the rest of the room. "Love you so much…"

Eddie dropped her head, "We need to talk Jamie…"

Jamie nodded, looking over at Marcus. He stood up and took little JJ into his arms for a minute, "Your Uncle J blew it big time," he told the baby out of the other's ear shot. "Yes, I did…did you soften her up for me?"

Half an hour later, only Jamie and Eddie remained in the living room, Eddie having sent Ray to lay down. "I'm sorry," Jamie sighed. "I should have told you I was going to meet Dana for lunch today. I did always plan to tonight, even if I didn't make Kara watching me outside the diner when I left. I…you weren't yourself this morning and I didn't want you to get excited and upset more than you were already."

"Jamie, I wasn't myself because you…last night I was ready to forgive and forget, you saw that…then you went and just freaked out on me, pulling away."

"Eddie, that…"

"That was because you were sitting there moving my body for me, never totally focused on sex yourself because of me.," Eddi replied. "Maybe you were scared you'd say her name in bed with me!"

"That's not true, not for a second!" Jamie replied firmly. "Here, I recorded it, what I said to her…listen!"

Jamie hit the play button his phone, Eddie sat back and listened to him telling Dana in no uncertain terms that she, Eddie was the love of his life. Eddie wiped tears off her face, both happy and sad. "I know you love me Jamie…and I think I had Kara go down today just because I was so hurt…"

"I never meant to hurt you Eddie," Jamie said quickly.

"I know you didn't" Eddie replied. "But hold my hands and take a journey with me…"

Jamie nodded waiting as Eddie began to speak, "Imagine you are the one in the chair, instead of me, God forbid it a hundred times, but just imagine it. We are married and hopelessly devoted to each other, just like we are now. We go to dinner with our friends and an ex of mine comes up quickly and kisses me flat on the lips. After it ends I turn to you and I can't remember your name…"

"Eddie, I was just shocked and I…"

"Is this you talking!" Eddie asked getting upset Jamie was cutting her off. "I can't remember your name, I don't even notice you were stuck and needed my help. Then to make matters worse, I spend thirty minutes talking to him while you wait with our friends at the table wanting to drop dead right there so you aren't embarrassed anymore…"

Eddie took a breath, "Finally, after being up all night wondering about the state of our marriage, your assist dog brings my phone and you see a text from that man about a lunch you know nothing about. Tell me that doesn't gut you to the core of your heart…"

Jamie shut his eyes, he was thinking of himself in a wheelchair like Eddie's, depending on her for much of his activities of daily living and many other essentials to being alive. The fear and the hurt that she must have felt. Eddie was still speaking, "You were wondering about the state of the marriage because…" Tears finally began to fall full force from Eddie's eyes. "For most of your marriage, I was making love to you and with you many nights in the week, and while I held you tight and started to love you, I pulled away with no reason, no explanation…"

"There's an explanation though," Jamie replied. "And it's not the one you think. I wanted nothing more than to love you last night and the other nights before when I said…I want to love you all the time, even having to make adjustments, it's never that. It's never that I want it another way."

"What was it then?" Eddie asked him.

Jamie looked down at his hands, he'd have to admit it now…He knew it would not go over well.

A/N: Such a strong reaction to the last chapter. Eddie is feeling a little insecure and inadequate since JJ was born, and Jamie has been in a popcorn maker since that bad call with Marcus. They are both being driven by fears they other one is relating too right now. Apparently, this is something that occurs in marriage with illness or disability at time, or so says my source for this story who has been in Eddie's shoes, to a lesser degree. I'm grateful that she shares so openly with me, so I can pass it on to you.

As we ,move through the next ten chapters or so, I believe you will find the title Mountains to be appropriate. This couple has many ups and downs coming their way. Come on, would it be a BlueBlood82 fic without those?

Happy Valentine's Day!

Next Update – February 17th – Jamie comes clean about his true motivation for not making love with Eddie that night.