Sorry for that last depressing little ficlet. To make it up for everyone, I've been prompted by multiple people to make this, so I've decided to be nice and write something happy :) For those who have read Define "Normal", this fic'll be set in that same world, but after the second-to-last and before the events of the last chapter for the sake of the storyline. It's not important at all to read it before you read this (although I'd recommend it; it was a lot of fun to write), just know that it's set after the end of the anime and Crona lives with Soul, Maka, and Blair. Anyway, *I disclaim* I don't own Soul Eater. Or the Nightmare Before Christmas, which is referenced a lot in this fic.
Of Monsters and Demons, Chapter 8
Making Christmas
Description: Christmas Special! Crona's never celebrated Christmas before, so his first Christmas party at Gallows Manor is a bit overwhelming. Especially when Patty convinces him that there's a Sandy Claws... Meanwhile, cookies are baked, eaten, Kid's throwing fits, and Black*Star is acting like Black*Star. Merry Christmas!
Holidays typically weren't celebrated during Crona's childhood. That is, all except for Halloween, which Medusa had practically worshipped. Despite this, Crona had never been allowed to go trick-or-treating, but instead was forced to stay inside and be his mother's acolyte for her bizarre All Hallow's Eve rituals. As such, the word "holiday" came to be understood by Crona as "the day that Lady Medusa doesn't train me and just sits in the floor making weird markings and mumbling." Because of this, when stores became decorated in red and green and songs involving jingle bells were played on the radio, the poor boy was terribly confused.
"Maka?" Crona said quietly, coming in the apartment door after completing an errand. The blonde looked up from the couch where she was reading her book.
"What is it, Crona?" She asked with a smile.
Crona scratched his hair a little as he set his shopping bag down on the table. "Well… I don't really know what it is, really. That's what I don't know how to deal with…" He trailed off.
Maka looked confused for a moment, but then smiled again and stood from her place on the couch. "Do you want to try and describe it? Maybe I can help you figure out what happened."
The pink-haired meister nodded, sitting down at the table. When Maka sat down next to him, he began to retell his experience. "Well… I went to the store, like you asked me to, to get some eggs. But I went in and there were all sorts of weird colors everywhere, and the music was different than what it normally is, and when I checked out, the cashier didn't say 'thanks for shopping with us' like she always does. She told me 'Merry Christmas' instead. Has the entire world changed? Will it be like this forever?"
To his surprise, Maka laughed. "It'll go back to normal soon, Crona," She assured him. "Right after December. But it's the holidays now."
Crona paled. "H-holidays?" He stuttered. Halloween hadn't come again already, had it? The decorations were different. He had already spent one Halloween with Maka and Soul, and that had been an extremely new experience. It had taken everyone half the day to convince Crona that he didn't need to burn incense. Even so, upon hearing Maka's explanation, Crona stood from his chair. "I'll go buy the candles…" He mumbled.
Maka jumped from her seat. "No, Crona! Not that holiday! We don't even do that!"
Soul stepped from the hallway. "What's all the yelling?" He asked, looking over the scene.
The blonde whipped around to her weapon partner. "Explain Christmas to Crona!" She demanded while grabbing the tall meister's shirt to keep him from walking out the door.
Soul stood there, looking dumbfounded. "Uh…" Upon a threatening glare from Maka, he blinked. "Presents! Uh… Trees! Cookies! Tacky music!"
Crona turned to face them. "No candles?" He asked.
Soul tilted his head. "For decoration, yeah..."
"And peace on Earth!" Maka interrupted her partner, "And goodwill towards men!"
Crona smiled a little. "That sounds nice," He said.
Maka nodded with a relaxed sigh, glad that she had finally convinced Crona to not add a witch's touch to Christmas. "That went much quicker and easier than Halloween…"
Soul plopped down on the couch. "So Crona didn't know what Christmas is?" He asked, picking up the TV remote. "Has he not noticed that we've been talking about going to Kid's Christmas party for the past few weeks?"
Crona looked at his feet again. "Well… I didn't know I was invited," He confessed.
Maka smiled at him. "We're all invited, Crona!" She told him cheerfully. Soul took a sideways glance at the clock, and then sighed.
"We're supposed to be at Kid's in a half hour, by the way," He pointed out nonchalantly. Maka visibly stiffened.
"We're gonna be late!" She exclaimed, her calmness and cheerfulness gone in an instant. "Soul, get out of your pajamas and put something festive on! I need to get the baking supplies together to make cookies with the girls, and Crona…" She stopped, looking at the timid meister. She took a deep breath and forced a smile as she swiftly grabbed something from a bookshelf. "Read this. I'll explain a bit of Christmas," She told him. She then rushed off, pulling together everything else she needed.
Crona glanced down at the book he had been handed. "The Night before Christmas?" He read the title out loud.
Crona didn't get the chance to read Maka's book before they had to start walking to Gallows Mansion. Maka told Soul that they couldn't take his motorcycle because she had to carry all her ingredients for cookies, and they couldn't fit them on the bike. Not to mention that the idea of riding that thing terrified Crona. As a result, the group arrived about fifteen minutes late.
"If there's one thing that bothers me more than Blair in Soul's face," Maka muttered to herself, "It's being late."
Soul huffed. "It's your own fault," He said as they ascended the stairs to the mansion. "You said we couldn't take my bike. I could've fit you, your cookie stuff, and Crona all on there, easy."
Maka shot him a small glare. "Soul," She snapped, "There was no way we would've all been able to fit on there safely."
Soul shrugged. "Yeah, we all could've fit. I didn't say safely."
The blonde rolled her eyes at her partner before knocking on the door. Liz answered it shortly, smiling. "Hi guys! We were afraid you weren't coming!" She said brightly. "Something happen?"
Maka shook her head, adopting a smile. "Nothing major. Has Kid started the tree fit yet?"
Liz laughed, closing the door behind the guests after they walked in. "Yep. Patty's decorating it right now."
Crona turned to Soul. "I have no idea what they're talking about," He said.
The white-haired scythe smirked. "Kid throws a fit over the Christmas tree every year, saying that either the branches or the decorations aren't symmetrical," He chuckled. Noticing that the pink-haired meister still looked confused, Soul's chuckling died down. He rolled his eyes. "People decorate pine trees for Christmas. Don't ask me why, they just do. It's a thing."
Crona still didn't quite understand, but nodded anyway.
The tree between the main hall's staircases was gigantic. Patty had climbed the stairs and stood on the balcony to place ornaments near the top of the immense evergreen.
"No, no, no! It's all wrong!" Kid cried, on his knees in the floor. "You're not putting them up like the blueprint, Patty!"
The younger teen shrugged. "So? I'm making it look all pretty!" She giggled, putting the uniform black and white ornaments up haphazardly. "Joy to the world, the Lord has gum!" She sang off-key.
"You know those aren't the correct lyrics!" Kid wailed before be collapsed on the floor, sobbing into the tile. Crona stared at him, feeling bad that the young Reaper had to go through this apparent trauma annually. He turned around, looking at what else was going on.
The older girls were running back and forth from the kitchen to the living room next door, setting platters of cookies and pies on a table that had been set up in there. Soul and Black*Star sipped party punch while the blue-haired narcissist could be heard loudly saying what he wanted for Christmas. Crona stepped into the living room, still carrying Maka's book. He sat down on a couch, finally getting the chance to open the front cover.
"Whatcha' readin'?"
Crona jumped, whipping around to see Patty leaning over the back of the couch next to him. "When d-did you get here?!"
"Ooh, The Night Before Christmas!" Patty exclaimed, ignoring Crona as she pointed at the title page. "That's a fun book! There's reindeer! Neigh!"
Crona's eye twitched. "I'm not sure if that's the sound deer make…"
"And it talks about Santa Claus!" Patty continued. "But I know an even more fun story about Santa Claus! Wanna hear it?"
"Uh…"
"Sure you do!" Patty beamed, taking Crona's book and tossing it behind her. This caused various people to yell out various things.
"OW!"
"Soul!"
"My book!"
"Pumpkin pie!"
Looking behind Patty, Crona noticed that the book seemed to have hit Soul in the back of the head, causing him fall face-first into Tsubaki's pie, which Black*Star loudly pointed out. Crona's attention was drawn back to Patty when she plopped down next to him on the couch.
"See, this one movie I saw said that Santa Claus is actually a big red lobster man with sandy claws!" The blonde began. Crona instantly cringed.
"S-sandy claws?" He gulped.
Patty nodded, now looking slightly serious. "Yeah, and he sees you when you're sleeping and knows if you've been bad or good! So you better be good for goodness' sake!"
Crona hugged a couch pillow to his chest, shaking. "There's a lobster that watches me when I sleep?" He whimpered. "W-what does he d-do if you're bad?"
Patty leaned forward, her blue eyes boring right into Crona's grey ones. "He comes down your chimney on Christmas Eve. An' if you're bad, he snaps at you with his lobster claws!" She reared up, snapping her fingers like claws. "Snap, snap!"
Crona grew pale. He glanced over at the chimney, now seeing a potential doorway for a savage lobster. "I'm glad Maka and Soul don't have a chimney…"
Patty grinned. "Oh, Sandy Claws has his ways!" She promised, skipping away. Crona froze.
"… I'm doomed…" He whimpered. "I don't know how to deal with lobsters…"
Kid had stepped away from the tree for a while to relax a little bit.
"These are excellent cookies, Maka," He said, tasting her gingerbread.
"Try my snickerdoodles, Kid!" Liz exclaimed, shoving the platter in his face. "Before Soul eats all of them."
Tsubaki smiled, arranging her plate of sugar cookies so that they were set up like a Christmas tree. "I like how mine turned out," She said. "You can try them if you want."
Soul drooled. "So many cookies…" He stared at the pastries until Maka swatted his hand away.
"You're going to get fat if you keep eating," She muttered. "Besides, we'll take a box home with all three kinds. They're supposed to last until Christmas, anyway."
Soul rolled his eyes, pulling away. "Fine."
Tsubaki glanced around. "Has anyone seen Black*Star?" She asked. Patty, standing in the doorway that connected the hall and the living room, nodded.
"Yep!" The blonde pistol said, pointing into the hall. "I see him!"
Tsubaki sighed with relief. "That's good. Could you keep an eye on him for me?"
Patty nodded again. "Okie dokie. Is he allowed to climb trees?"
"Uh-huh," Tsubaki replied absentmindedly, still arranging the cookies. Maka glanced out the doorway, seeing what Patty meant. She cringed.
"Uh, Tsubaki?" She said, turning to her friend. "Black*Star's climbing the Christmas tree."
Tsubaki froze, her eyes widening. She took off, swiftly running into the hall. "Black*Star, get down from there!" She shouted.
"But I belong at the top!" Black*Star yelled joyously. "Because I'm the star! HAHA!"
Kid stiffened. "He'll break and bend the branches!" He wailed. "My perfect symmetrical pruning will be ruined!"
Soul snuck another cookie. "This is a normal Christmas," He said to Crona, who had joined him next to the table. Noticing that the pink-haired meister looked confused again, Soul rolled his eyes once more.
"Christmas seems chaotic," Crona thought to himself.
"Crona, come over and eat some cookies with us!" Maka called. She and everyone but her pink-haired friend were seated on the couches, enjoying some more cookies and punch. "What are you doing with Ragnarok?"
Crona stood poised beside the fireplace, his sword raised. "I'm waiting for Sandy Claws," He announced. "And I'm going to keep that lobster from hurting me."
All eyes turned to Patty. Noticing their glares, Patty tilted her head innocently.
"Why is everybody looking at me?"
Liz sighed. "Crona, he's not going to come tonight. Besides, Santa isn't a lobster. He's a smiling fat man who lives with elves and brings little kids presents," She explained.
Soul raised an eyebrow. "You say it that way and it sounds even creepier than a giant lobster," He pointed out.
Crona lowered his sword. "But he sees me when I'm sleeping!"
"And he knows when you're awake!" Patty sung, but Kid glared at her.
"Patty, you're really not helping the situation," He muttered.
The blonde pouted. "But I like singing Christmas songs…"
"Santa just watches to make sure kids have been good, Crona," Tsubaki told him. "If they've been bad, they get less presents, or if they're really bad, then they don't get presents from Santa at all."
Crona hung his head. "But I've been really bad my whole life…" He murmured, walking to sit next to everyone. Ragnarok transformed back into his humanoid appearance on Crona's back as he did so.
Maka smiled. "But you've been really good recently, Crona," She said. "That should be enough. I promise you'll get presents from Santa this year."
Crona looked up at her. "You promise he's not a lobster?" He asked quietly.
Maka nodded. "I promise that too."
The pink-haired meister smiled.
"Forget the sappy Santa stuff!" Ragnarok shouted suddenly. "Feed me some of those cookies!" His host obliged, handing the sword one of each cookie while trying some himself.
"These are good," Crona smiled a little.
Tsubaki smiled back. "Thanks. We make Christmas cookies every year. It's a fun tradition."
Patty nodded. "Yeah, Christmas is all about fun! It has parties and pies and presents and people and all sorts of other fun stuff that starts with P!" She grinned.
Soul sneezed, sniffing. "Like pneumonia," He replied.
Crona ate some more cookies, looking around at the festive decorations. "Well, if you promise that Santa isn't a lobster…" He said after a minute, "Then… I guess I like Christmas. At least the cookies are good, and the tree's really pretty."
"It's even better once it's decorated," Liz said, elbowing Kid in the chest. "It takes Kid nearly all December to get the measurements right or whatever and put up the ornaments symmetrically. As soon as he's done that, Christmas will be over."
Patty looked pensive. "Hey, Kid? Why is Olive so mean?"
Kid, rubbing his now sore ribcage, glanced over at Patty. "What do you mean?" He asked.
"Because Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call Rudolph names," The blonde pistol replied matter-of-factly.
"There's mean reindeer?" Crona said quietly.
Kid rolled his eyes. "Patty, get your lyrics straight. Crona just began to like Christmas, don't convince him otherwise," He told her.
Patty giggled, seeing Crona's concerned expression. "Aw, don't worry, Crona! Like we said, Christmas is fun! And after that there's New Year's, where the big ball drops on people!"
Crona stiffened. "It drops on people?"
"Not exactly," Maka interjected.
"And then there's Valentine's day, and Cupid'll shoot ya with his arrows!"
"Arrows?!"
"Patty, stop it," Kid demanded. The blonde paid him no mind.
"Easter is fun! There's a giant rabbit that lays eggs!"
"Rabbits hate me!"
"STOP IT, PATTY!" Everyone shouted.
Sighing, Maka pulled the book she had previously handed to Crona off of the side table. "Here. You haven't read this yet, have you?" She smiled when Crona shook his head, and she gave him the book once more. "Why don't you read it now? It'll distract you from Patty," She winked.
Crona smiled once more, nodding and opening the brightly-colored picture book. "T'was the night before Christmas…" He began reading quietly to himself.
Merry Christmas, mortals! See ya next time!
