Forgiving
31.-"Don't worry about me."
The words, the implicit echo of stubbornness that hangs between them, is what makes Emma shake her head and sit right next to the older woman looking at the sea in front of her with the same stoic expression Regina possesses. She doesn't understand why Regina has been trying to talk with her parents a few hours ago when she arrived at the apartment, mud and water staining her jeans and with three pairs of eyes looking at her as soon as she closed the door behind her back. Once she was finally inside the questions about where she had been, if there has been any problems, if something magic related had happened filled the void that had been growing between her parents and her since she had reappeared from the void she had been for so long she can't even tell anymore how much and she had lost the opportunity to ask why Regina had been in the house, why her eyes had seemed to be filled with anger and tiredness and a mixture of something that she couldn't quite understand any more.
Maybe is because of that, she muses as Regina sighs and rests her head on the palm of her hands, her eyes still filled, open, glowing like embers, why she had seated next to Regina even if the brunette has repeated the words once and again since Emma started walking next to her after Regina exited the apartment, her parents still trying to make Emma answer where she had been why she had exited without telling anyone.
"I worry about you" She finally says, softly, unsure if that's really true or just another projection of the woman she was. It may be true though because when a smile curls Regina's lips Emma own mouth answers in the same fashion, a wave of relief growing inside of her. Regina doesn't thanks her though, she merely stays silent, the smile present on her lips and her eyes, now softer, mellower, look briefly at Emma, a brief nod making Emma hum at her, blushing slightly under those eyes.
Neither of them talk after that for a long time, it isn't necessary after all.
"They thought you had decided to run" The former queen finally says after a wave licks the stone of the deck.
"I know"
Maybe is true, Emma decides, maybe a part of her knew why her parents had demanded questions. Even if a part of her still doesn't understand why she should be giving those to them. Maybe is true that, like Archie said, everything she needs is time.
"I didn't" Regina says quietly after that, her eyes focused on the sea in front of her and Emma opens her mouth, ready to say that she already knew that, in a way. But something inside of her makes her close her mouth and hum, unsure if her voice is able to say the fleeting thought that had crossed her mind for a second.
"I would never run from you"
32.-"It looks good on you."
The words make Regina hide her eyes behind her eyelashes for a second, feeling incredibly conscious as Emma nods and tilts her head, as if carefully deciding if her compliment is really true. It must be because the blonde ends up nodding again and crossing her arms, in a way that makes so easy to say that Emma is still the Emma that once arrived at Storybrooke that Regina exhales and turns, unable to answer to her.
The color is not exactly one Regina would normally use but there is something on the red, the way it embraces her, that makes the brunette purse her lips, trying to hide a smile. It looks like something Emma would dress and maybe is because of that and maybe it isn't but she finally decides to keep it on. The sleeves are maybe a little too long but that isn't something she can't fix and so she turns around again, catching the eyes of Emma looking at her, a soft-looking smile on her lips, and Regina feels as if she is seeing at something underwater, an image she shouldn't be able to see.
Maybe Emma senses that too because she turns and leaves Regina with the blazer hugging her and the red, the ardent red, scorching her as if a fire had just started inside the fabric of the clothe, her nose burning with the smell of the blonde's magic that suddenly seems to coat the air even if there is nothing visible.
Neither Emma nor her talk once they are finally alone again, the red blazer carefully folded on the brunette's arms. Maybe is for the best, Regina thinks, after all she isn't exactly sure what kind of words she would be able to say in that moment with the image of those eyes staring at her carefully, almost as if Emma was preparing herself to blink and see that Regina wasn't really in front of her anymore.
Maybe yes, maybe is for the best.
33.-"Close your eyes and hold out your hands."
The little key shines for a second as Emma squints her eyes- she really needs glasses Regina thinks- and tries to understand what the little piece of metal is.
"One of your keys" She whispers, looking at Regina, the forest framing her eyes that seems to be filled with something that she probably can't even describe.
Regina nods because it's true after all, the key she has just given her is one of the many more she once had. They aren't important anymore and she barely uses them but they still work. She also doesn't explain how she had passed the previous night searching for them in her vault, trying to locate even if it was only one of them. She doesn't exactly want to say that she merely woke up in the middle of another nightmare with the need to search and find for one of those keys, wanting to giving them to Emma, wanting to make Emma see that she really trusts her even if Emma is still encountering people that doesn't look at her like they did anymore.
Trust, Regina thinks, it's a really strange think. She never had enough trust in anybody to give them the keys to her house, not even to Graham after years of a stilled time line, but there is something that only Emma seems to understand about her; the simplicity and complexity at the same time about Regina's own thoughts. That has made the decision of giving Emma one of her keys easy, much more easier than it would really be.
They are on the dinner and therefore Emma bits her bottom lip and nods at her but Regina can sense the piercing eyes of Tinker and Ruby on both of them.
"The next time you need time" She says, quietly, remembering all those years in where she walked alone through the tall corridors of the castle that was both her home and her prison; the standing memory of the girl that crossed the doors with her heart breaking in two before she turned into a queen. "It opens both a hidden part of my vault at the end of it and my house"
"Thank you"
The words are soft and barely strong enough for Regina to catch them but she does and for a second when Emma looks at her everything seems less chaotic and much easier than what she had been seeing until now. And so she smiles.
34.-"That's okay, I bought two."
Nervousness is another feeling Emma is slowly becoming accustomed with once again and when Regina looks at the two pastries she is holding between her hands with a raised eyebrow the only thing that seems to grow inside the blonde's chest is a ball of pure nervousness that makes her wants to swallow back her words. It's strange to be able to look at someone without feeling lost or with a ball of rage and tiredness that seems to tint the edges of her eyes with black and red so Emma inhales the smell of the forest and smiles at the older woman when Regina finally nods and takes one of the slices of the cake she had bought on Granny's before their "classes".
Neither of them talk on those, not even on the breaks Regina makes her take every now and then, the softness on her voice more and more apparent as days passes. Robin is still disappeared, barely being seen on the city anymore and Emma knows that she still needs to ask about it but she guesses she still doesn't need to do. Regina has stopped flinching every time they enter on the forest whenever they had their little classes though so she takes that as something positive. More or less.
They also don't talk about the way Emma has started to use the key. Only a few times but enough for Regina to start leaving a blanket on the vault without asking. Emma still needs to enter on Regina's house with the key though, and they also don't talk about that because there isn't something to talk about. Or maybe yes but they don't want to.
The slice is cold but tasty and when Emma swallows the last bite she sees Regina holding out the last piece of her, the ghost of a smirk on her lips. "You can eat this, you glutton" The tease is obvious and Emma takes it for what it is; a way of making her feel a little better after everything. Even if she bought the original slice for Regina only who looks at Granny's pies with hunger every time they go to the dinner.
It's only in that moment, when she takes that piece from Regina's warm fingers, when the act makes her remember a not so distant time in where they both met around a pastry on a particular dinner's table, still too broken to even function.
They say that a person is unable to see its own improvement unless they are being told about it but for a second Emma sees the path she has already walked with absolute clarity and so closes her eyes and lets her own body relax.
Regina is looking at her when she finally opens them once again, a look on her eyes telling Emma that Regina already knows what the blonde was thinking about.
"Thank you" She says, enunciating the words carefully and Emma wants to shake her head because it's not she the one she should be thanked for but the woman she has in front of her. She doesn't discuss though, because then Robin is suddenly approaching them and the brief moment –if that's what those are still called- is broken and Regina swallows, a mask appearing on her eyes once again making the woman Emma is so accustomed to see disappear behind it.
35.-"After you."
This time is Regina the one that opens the vault with her magic, her eyes stormy and tired and the only thing Emma is able to do is lay a hand on her back, ignoring her request, guiding her as she descends the stairs that led to the main room of the place. The closed place in where Emma has spent hours closed just like she left it a few weeks back in the far end of the not so secret place.
They don't talk; they are there because Regina needs silence and because Emma is aware that if she is left alone she would let the darkness that still roars inside of her roam free.
Zelena's baby is going to be a girl. Robin's announcement, the way his voice has broken and trembled as he repeated the news to an astonished Regina still too present, too real too hurtful, is embedded on the two of them.
And Regina understand that she really doesn't need to feel anything because she has started to understand and accept but as she moves through the vault with Emma right in front of her she feels the need to crawl and just close herself to the rest of the world that is still out there.
It's not fair how much the information suddenly hurts, it's not fair that Robin nods and looks at her as if he is waiting for her to say something to him, as if he deserves some kind of retribution for telling her what's happening with her sister. It's not fair and yet it's there because fair things don't need to exist. Not in a world in where fairy tales are real and heroes and villains seem to be the same these days.
So Emma waits until Regina sits and then she sits too, trying to be small, silent, trying to just be there for the brunette just like the brunette had been for her in the past months.
Maybe is because the rain from outside that seems to tint Regina's mood or the way the simple act of breathing hurts because of the ramifications of what Robin has said and the way he had looked at her when Regina told him to go but when the older woman puts her head on Emma's shoulder the blonde hugs her closer, not letting the older woman body go even when Regina finally breaks into silent sobs. Especially after that.
