Soli Deo gloria
DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own The Host or Divergent. I have a guinea pig, though, one that likes eating my hair. :)
Melanie is taken on a stretcher. I'm forced to walk. I don't mind, though. I'd rather not be knocked out like her. So vulnerable.
There's one thing I wonder as we're taken out of the building toward an open car door: Where is Tobias and the others? Have they found Sharon? Are they going looking for us? Will they find us?
I want to say goodbye to Tobias. There's still time for that promise to him that I made to myself to be kept. But only so much time.
I wish I had my gun.
We're taken to a hospital. That's what it would be if it helped people, of course. It's more of an insertion place now. Melanie gets taken in quickly. I'm not provoked by guns but am taken in by Seekers. The entire place is stark, bright white. Everything is so white now. It's the Souls's color.
Everything is stainless. The tiles shine and the receptionist's desk does, too. It reminds me of the Erudite building. How everyone is quiet and doing their work, some at some computers, others walking around with clipboards. Everyone has silver eyes here, though. A big difference between them and the Erudite. At least the Erudite were human.
I'm taken through an elevator to a large room with long, floor length windows, and two long tables. One has Melanie on it, Souls crowded around her. My fists tighten when I see boxes and little jars of powders they're using on her.
"Are you killing her?" I say my first words since our exit from the building.
The Seeker who had questioned me shakes her head. "They're Healing her. They can't put a Soul into a broken body."
Of course not. Why would they do that?
They instruct me to lay facedown on the metallic table. There's no use in arguing, so I do as they say. The table is cold and silver. It hurts my face to press against it. It feels like the cold is seeping into my body and the table is sucking away all of my body heat. Maybe it is.
My hands gets strapped down. The Seekers head away, leaving a couple of Healers and a group of Souls standing against a wall. They're talking and writing stuff down, like they're keeping notes. Notes on how to kill humans.
I shudder as I turn my head against the table to face away from them. I can't stand the sight of them, not when they're watching my execution. At the thought, my body starts to shake, and I push out every thought except for Tobias. He will come, he will come, he will come.
In front of me steps a Healer with another Soul next to him. Despite his silver eyes, he looks calm.
"Hello," he says. "My name is Fords Deep Waters." What a strange name. "I am your Healer. How do you feel?"
How do I feel?
"Cold," I mutter.
The Healer smiles a gentle smile. "I'm sorry to hear that. But don't worry. The cold will go away in just a minute."
He turns to a tank on a medical table. I say, "When you kill me?"
The Healer stops, his back to me, and whispers, "I'm sorry."
He's sorry? If he was sorry, he wouldn't insert one of his own kind into my neck. I wiggle as Fords Deep Waters turns to the Soul next to him and says, "Darren, can you get the Quiet, please?"
I stop struggling. Quiet? I watch stiffly as Darren opens a jar and dabs a cloth into it. Quiet. It must be some kind of drug, like a serum that they put against your mouth.
I struggle harder now. They're going to press something to my mouth. To knock me unconscious so I won't struggle. I just know it. And I won't stand it.
Darren steps forward and puts the cloth against me. I have an idea and instantly close my eyes. Even my breath. Breathe through my mouth instead of my nose. Try not to breathe in the fumes. Darren immediately takes the cloth away. He thinks I'm passed out.
But I'm not. I'm still as awake as ever, even with my eyes closed, though slightly drowsy. I peek a lid open to see Fords Deep Waters coming over with a knife. A long scalpel, on closer inspection. I have to keep my head down, but I feel like screaming, like biting down into a pillow and screaming my lungs out.
I feel it. Instantly. A long cut across the flesh of my neck. It stings and hurts from how deep it is. I wish even more for something soft to scream into. I feel a cloth go against it, dabbing up the blood. It feels cool against my burning, achy skin.
The Healer steps away. He goes to a tank and opens it, revealing a little container with something silvery inside. My heart pounds. That must be the Soul.
I will be dead in less than a minute.
I don't want to die.
And Tobias keeps his promises.
A crash comes through the door. I don't feel any little alien slipping into my skin.
I know who's come crashing through.
There are gunshots and I open my eyes to see Tobias shooting at a Seeker before punching another straight in the face. Christina is taking on my Healer. Zeke and Uriah are hurrying over to check on Melanie.
I turn my head to look to the head of the table and try to wiggle my thin wrists through the straps. I grunt. Not as slippery as the silver would suggest.
Tobias knocks out another Soul and hurries over to me.
"Hold still," he says. His quick, harsh voice startles me into stillness. He shoots at my binds. The metallic holds slip off, and I wrestle out of them and sit up on the table, rubbing my sore wrists.
"Tobias," I whisper, trying to seek his eyes. But I don't seem them. He's turned to look at the bottom of my neck. I can only imagine what he thinks of my new cut.
He doesn't say a word and presses a gun into my hand.
"From one of the Seekers. Come on," he says. He hurries to the door and I look instantly to Melanie, still lying flat on the table. Emotionless. White, pale, covered in cuts still. Dead looking.
They didn't Heal her. She would have looked perfect, like them. She's still broken. We can't move her when she's injured like that.
"Tris!" I turn to Tobias, who says, "Come on! We've got to go!"
"Melanie," I say. "Tobias, they're going to make her a Soul!"
"She's too injured for us to move her," Tobias says. I know that he's right. We don't have the medicines they have here to be able to fix her. Even if we raided houses and found the medicines we need, we wouldn't know how to use them.
But Healers are already surrounding her now. They're about to Heal her.
I take one last look at Melanie before I fly to join Tobias. Our feet are synchronized as we run down the stairs to our car.
We slam into it, and Tobias clutches my wrists. He searches my eyes and lets out a sigh of relief, and he tucks a bit of blonde hair behind my ear.
"You're still human," he whispers.
"Tobias," I say. "We have to go back in."
He shakes his head. "The others can get out okay."
"Melanie won't," I say.
"I know, but there's nothing we can do to fix her up," Tobias says firmly.
"But they're Healing her right now!" I practically yell.
He stands still at that. His eyes harden. "Then she's gone."
"So we're just going to let her be taken, then? Separated from us? What about Sharon?" A thought comes to me. "What about Jamie? What about Jared? We don't have the directions to their cabin. We have to tell them what happened to Melanie. We have to find them, too!"
Tobias looks like he wants to argue, but then his mouth snaps shut. His eyes soften slightly, and his hands tighten around my wrists, reassuring himself that I'm still here, that I'm still human. His eyes study mine. Light grey-blue. Not silver. Not an alien trying to convince him to go to his death.
I would never do that.
He nods. "Okay."
We run back into the building, shooting any Souls coming after us. We take the stairs, avoiding the elevator shaft. If I ever see an elevator again, I will never lose the image of Melanie's broken body at the bottom of it.
The door to the Healing room is locked. Tobias shoots it open. He wrestles the door open and we head in. Some of the Souls who were taking notes are helping the wounded. Fords Deep Water looks fine. And he's putting something on the back of Melanie's neck.
She's has a Soul in her now.
Tobias rushes forward. I hold my gun out, my hair bedraggled in my face, and say, "Don't move, or I will shoot." I don't know if I will shoot, but my point comes across. They don't move a bit.
"Please," Fords Deep Waters says in a pleading voice. Tobias hurries up to him and gives him a glare before he carefully lifts the unconscious body of Melanie.
"When will she wake up?" Tobias says, his voice even.
"It can take a couple hours to two weeks," Fords Deep Waters says. His eyes nervously glance over to my gun. He knows. He knows that I will shoot if he doesn't cooperate.
"She'll be fine?" Tobias says.
"She's perfectly fine now," Fords Deep Waters says.
That's all we need to know.
Tobias nods and he heads to the door. I can see the veins popping in his neck. Melanie is heavier than I am. He's used to lifting me. She's a surprise to his body.
We make it down to the front doors without any Souls attacking us. It's still early, and there are no humans being brought in for Soul insertion. There's little activity except from the Souls behind the desks, all looking shocked. Good. I cock my gun. They look stunned.
Tobias grunts. I open the front door for him. So much for subtlety. We just need to get out of here.
Uriah, Zeke and Christina are already in, and Christina moves over. Tobias sets Melanie against the seat. Her eyes are closed. Her silver eyes aren't visible.
Uriah is yelling at us to hurry up. I climb into the back back seat, leaning into the corner seat. And I shiver.
Tobias takes the seat next to me.
The door closes and we drive away.
Zeke hands me another pair of sunglasses.
I shrink against Tobias's body. He runs a hand through my hair, not saying a word. But his touch is enough. He kept his promise, and he's sorry he wasn't able to rescue Melanie. Now she's gone. A Soul.
We're all quiet as we drive back to Shauna and Hector. We found a human, the only other human we've seen since Peter, and we allowed her to die. We left her to her death, to let an alien slip in and take over her body.
Tobias takes me off his shoulder. I feel cold without him against me, but then I feel a warmth coming from my neck. His long fingers delicately touch the skin around my deep cut, applying gentle pressure. The pain hurts, and I let out a hiss.
He gulps. "How could I let this happen to you?" His voice, for the first time, sounds scared, like he was afraid of losing me, that he was afraid of me dying. Again.
"You stopped them. They didn't add the alien," I say.
He doesn't say a word. I turn back to see his face. It has a cut lip. He reminds me of when Drew, Al and Peter attacked me in the Dauntless compound. It's the look of anger against the people, or monsters, who've hurt me, and he was just in time to save me from death. The look burns into his face, making him look incredibly angry and tender at the same time.
"It won't happen again," I say.
His arms wrap around me and hold me to him. He leans against my head and whispers, "Like hell it will."
Comforting. But not comforting enough. Comforting enough to remind me that he'll go through hell to keep me safe, but not comforting enough that we'll get Melanie back. As a human.
"Is she is a Soul?" Shauna demands. She looks angry from her seat on the front porch. Hector looks up at her, worried. Zeke is on the other side of her, looking concerned.
Tobias lifts Melanie out of the car. No. Not Melanie anymore. He lifts the Soul out, the Host. He turns and starts to the front porch and into the house, not saying a word.
Christina stops dead in her tracks. She looks to me, and says in a poisonous voice, "Is she a Soul now, Tris?"
I don't want her mad at me. But the answer is inevitable. I nod.
She scowls. "I rode in a car with a Soul."
"An unconscious Soul," I quickly say. I feel at a loss for words. I need to remind them of something Melanie told us yesterday. That apparently Souls retain memories from the previous inhabitants of their bodies. This Soul will know where Jared and Jamie are.
And . . . there's a lingering thought in my head. The Soul looks like Melanie. Except for her eyes. But it looks like Melanie, like she is still there somehow.
It's a hopeless thought, of course, to think that Melanie is still in her body. But I don't want to lose her body. Not after having her for so little time.
"When will she wake up?" Uriah says. He slams the driver's door closed.
"Could be a few hours. Could be a few days," I say.
"And why don't we shoot it now?" Christina says. "While it's still unconscious?"
"Because it's still Melanie's body." I look to the front door, where Tobias is. He doesn't look pleased but remains calm. "We need her to find Jared and Jamie. We need to find the other humans."
Christina still looks annoyed, but no one else raises any objections. The dark sky, changed from how sunny it was this morning, lets out a low rumble.
"We'll leave when she wakes up," Tobias says. No one says a word. He nods to me and I hurry up to the front door and follow him into the house.
He doesn't say a word as he runs water over a washcloth in the kitchen. I turn around and he puts it against my long cut. I let out a hiss of pain at the heavy cloth against my raw, exposed flesh.
"Why's it always you they pick on?" Tobias says. "I guess they're picked up all too well on your attitude. Just like I wanted."
"It's not your fault, Tobias," I say.
"Sure," he says. He dabs along the cut and rinses the cloth. I gulp at seeing my blood run down the sink.
He returns the cloth to my neck. I turn my head the best I can without disturbing his work. I see Melanie laying on the couch. There's no beds available. Besides, she's a Soul. She doesn't have to hide from her own kind.
"When do you think she will wake up?" I say quietly.
"Who knows?" Tobias says. He sighs and says, "We don't have any bandages—"
"Just tie a rag on," I say. "I'll wear a long sleeved shirt. Cover it up. It's getting cold outside anyway."
"It's barely August," Tobias says. Still, he takes up a strip of cloth from the bunch we have gathered in a drawer and he winds it around my chest and neck to keep the washcloth on it. His fingertips burn against my skin.
"There," he whispers. He lets his fingers stay on my shoulder.
I turn to him. "Thank you."
"No problem."
The Soul wakes up two days later. We're all downstairs when she does, and we gather around her. Christina has her gun within arm's reach. I hold down her arm.
The Soul blinks her eyes. The light reflects against her silver eyes. She closes them and lets out a shriek.
"Calm down," Tobias says quickly. Before she can leap up and murder us all, as Christina thinks she will.
"She—she jumped," the Soul says. She opens her eyes again and sucks in a breath. Her arms scramble and she manages to get herself sitting upright. "She went down a huge hole!" Suddenly she looks ahead, looking horrified.
"Are you okay?" I say quietly.
The Soul shakes her head, like she's trying to forget something. "I'm—I'm fine."
"What's your name?" I ask.
She turns to me. "My name is . . . Wanderer." Her eyes find mine and her silver ones widen. She backs away, looks to each face, scrambles into a little corner of the couch.
Uriah and I exchange a look. A surprised look. She's scared of us.
"Where-where am I?" she whispers. Her legs are drawn to her chest, her arms around them. She shakes.
"In a house away from where you were inserted into Melanie's body," Tobias says.
Wanderer nods and shakes a bit more. Then she looks up and says, "Where are the Healers? The Seekers? Where—" She shrinks into herself even more. "Are—are you going to kill me?"
I look to Tobias. He looks at Christina. She doesn't move. Tobias turns to Wanderer and says, "We're not going to kill you."
"We need you to do something," Uriah says.
Wanderer straightens. "Then you'll kill me afterwards."
I shake my head, making the others look surprised. I'm stuck between her being a Soul and her being Melanie. But I don't want to kill her. As long as we have her under control, she's no harm to us.
"We won't," I say. I raise my hand. "I promise."
Tobias does the same. "Swear."
Wanderer gulps. "Okay."
"Melanie told us you would have her memories," Tobias says. He leans forward. His hair, now longer, hangs into his face. He pushes it aside. "She knows the way back to Jared and Jamie. Can you remember, put it down on a map?"
"I don't think I—I could write it down," Wanderer says quietly. "But, if we're on the road, I can—can remember what turns and exits to take."
Christina looks on edge. "And how do we know that you're not leading us astray? Taking us to the Seekers?"
Wanderer doesn't look like she knows what to say. Like she knows that's a possibility, but doesn't want to. I think she's too intimidated to lead so many humans to the Seekers. Not when we have guns and means and motivation to kill her.
"Because—because," and Wanderer looks off into the distance again. She lets out a gasp and clutches her head. She looks like she's having a fit.
"Wanderer?" Tobias says.
"Wanderer?" I whisper. What's wrong with her? It's like she's an Erudite robot that's failing. I saw one, once. Peter was escorting me back to my room in the Erudite building. We passed a room with see-through glass windows. I saw a team of Erudite members trying to calm down a mechanical looking man. It was silver. Metal. Sparks flew out of it.
I stared at it for a moment. Peter scowled. "Haven't you ever seen a robot before, Stiff?"
Wanderer shakes her head and looks to me. "Jared. Jamie."
"Yeah, we need to find them," I say.
"Okay. I'll lead you to them. Don't—you can't hurt them, though," Wanderer says. She whispers, "Please."
I nod. She looks relieved.
Tobias looks at me from across the room. We were never going to hurt the two. Why is the Soul now concerned about us hurting Jared and Jamie?
After all, if she just wanted them for Host bodies, it wouldn't matter if their bodies were broken or not.
HELLO WANDERER IS HERE. Thank you for reading! Please review!
