Chapter Seven
"Your Honor, the defense calls Dr. Maura Isles to the stand."
The move was an unexpected one and the entire courtroom suddenly filled with snippets of conversations and half whispered gasps. No one seemed to expect the defense to call the medical examiner to the stand.
Including Maura.
She sat there for a minute making no moves to get up and walk towards the stand. Why was this happening? What could she possibly offer up as testimony in his defense.
She turned to look at Jane in the hopes that Jane would be able to offer up some idea as to what exactly was going on. Jane was so much better at understanding people and situations than she was. But as she turned to look at her girlfriend she was struck by the look in Jane's eyes.
A look she had never seen come from Jane before. Disappointment. Contempt.
"Jane?" she whispered.
"How could you defend that man and not tell me?" Jane whispered back with anger to her tone. "After everything he has done to you? To me? Why didn't you tell me this Maura?"
Maura shook her head. "I don't know what's going on Jane. I swear!" she strongly whispered again trying to get Jane to believe her that this wasn't something that was expected.
"Dr. Isles?" the defense lawyer interjected. "Please take the stand."
Again, Maura didn't move and that caused another round of whispers and conversations. She reached over to take Jane's hand only to have Jane pull her hand back at the last minute. The gesture devastated her.
"Bailiff, could you please help Dr. Isles find her way to the witness stand," ordered the Judge who seemed annoyed that Maura's inactions were delaying his proceedings.
As a rather large bailiff made his way towards Maura she finally stood up and headed towards the stand. Emotionally she was still reeling from Jane's reaction towards her but she wasn't going to have the world see a bailiff have to forcibly move her to the stand.
Once she was finally settled into the witness box but before she was officially sworn in, the AUSA stood up and spoke.
"Your Honor, I object to the witness being called at this time," he started.
Maura sighed in relief. She had a glimmer of hope that the AUSA would keep her from having to offer testimony for her father.
"On what grounds?" the Judge asked.
"Quite frankly, Your Honor, on the grounds that this witness is the offspring of a known murderer and a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with her. I mean, really, if her own mother, and actually in her case two mothers, know her well enough to know they don't want anything to do with her, her adoptive father has already disowned her and that simply leaves her biological father who is a cold blooded killer, I will argue before the Court that Dr. Isles' credibility is completely without merit. She's more likely to take after her father than be of the character that this Court should have to be subjected to. I would find her testimony to be nothing but a complete waste of this Court's time and I strongly urge that you sustain my objection and we all just move on to more relevant matters at hand."
The Judge seemed to ponder the AUSA's objection.
The AUSA continued. "Your Honor, even Dr. Isles' girlfriend wants nothing to do with her."
That seemed to tip the scale and the Judge ruled. "Objection sustained. Dr. Isles, your testimony in this matter will be forbidden as it is deemed to be an utter waste of our time. No one wants you in their lives so I will spare the Court members such a fate. You are excused."
Maura awoke with a start. She felt her heart racing and she could tell her breathing was labored. She squeezed her eyes closed for a moment and tried to center her racing mind. She needed to orientate herself to her surroundings.
It was just a dream.
Slowly, she opened her eyes again and let her surroundings come into focus. She was home. In the comfort of her own home. Her own bed. That knowledge started to sink in and she felt the tension in her entire body start to slowly ease.
She rolled onto her back and tried to focus in on her breathing. She forced herself to take slow, steady breaths in and after holding them for a few beats she would release them. It took a few repetitions but eventually it started to work as Maura succeeded in centering herself.
She turned her head to the right and was greeted with a view of Jane's angelic face still peacefully asleep. In that moment, the sight of Jane settled her better than anything she had tried up to that point. She shifted in bed a bit so she could keep her eyes on Jane.
She found she was still a little disoriented being on the 'wrong' side of the bed. It had been ten days since Jane was shot and a week since she had been released from the hospital. The first night home they realized that a temporary side switch was needed. With Jane's right shoulder injured Maura hadn't wanted to accidently roll into or bump into Jane's right side during the night. Her first suggestion had been separate beds until Jane's surgical wounds healed but Jane wouldn't even consider it. So they had switched sides but even after a week it felt weird for them both.
But, considering what could have happened in that lobby, Maura knew a little nighttime disorientation was a very small price to pay to have Jane alive safe in her bed and in her arms at night. Both women seemed to understand how lucky they had been that Jane ended up with minimal damage from the shooting.
The shoulder surgery went without issue. The surgeon was able to debride the wound without causing any nerve damage and when she able to fully visualize the area there was some muscle and bone damage But all things considered the damage was deemed minor. There wasn't a need for any nerve grafts and the surgeon was sure that with rehab Jane would make a complete recovery. It was the best possible news to hear from Dr. Dougherty when she came into the waiting room to tell the family.
As Maura continued to stare at the still sleeping detective next to her she couldn't help but wish Jane's emotional recovery was going as well as her physical recovery. Jane was hurting and it wasn't because of the bullet wound to her shoulder. Maura just wished she could get Jane to talk to her about it. Ten days and it still hadn't happened.
Maura first realized something was wrong when Jane didn't demand to be released from the hospital once she fully woke up. Normally, Jane would insist on getting released immediately. Several times in the past she had threatened to just walk out of the hospital. And she was usually making plans for returning to work regardless of a medical clearance. Maura, in fact everyone, had expected the same reaction from Jane this time as well.
But it never came. Jane never once questioned her surgeon, the nursing staff or even Maura about when she could go home. She hadn't asked for an early release to return to at least desk duty. In fact, while she listened to and agreed with the recommended recovery and rehab schedule she was given, she never even tried to change it or cut time off. While in the hospital she never said a single word about going back to work. Not even a complaint about knowing she would be stuck on desk duty for a few months until her shoulder was fully healed.
No one knew what to make of the obvious change in Jane's demeanor. But it had them all worried. It wasn't like she shut people out. Everyone could have understood that from her as they had seen that behavior from her in the past. But this time, this time she was just different. She greeted all her visitors and was very engaged in conversations and jokes. As long as they weren't talking about work. She evaded every conversation about what happened and about returning to work.
Only Maura and Angela tried to push Jane to discuss the shooting or returning to work. The others freely left the topics alone when they realized Jane wasn't going to talk about any of it. Both Maura and Angela's efforts were met with fierce resistance. Jane wouldn't talk about it. Both had finally stopped trying to force the conversation reluctantly admitting that when Jane didn't want to discuss something, it wasn't going to be discussed. Both women were left hoping that with some time Jane's psyche would recover.
But ten days had now passed and Jane was still not making any fuss about being on a medical leave. She had started some of the rehab work two days ago but until the incisions completely healed the majority of the work couldn't be started yet. The physical therapist was focusing on maintaining muscle in Jane's arm until they could get started with range of motion work and muscle rebuilding for the shoulder.
Korsak had stopped by to ask Jane if she wanted to go into the station to give her official statement about the incident in the lobby. He thought maybe it was a good way to get Jane to come in and see everyone for a few minutes. He figured if she got back to the station that make spark the desire to return. He was beyond surprised when she asked for him to just have Donovan come to the house the next day to get her statement. It was the first time he had ever seen Jane refuse to come to the station.
Maura didn't know what to do. She knew better than to suggest Jane see a therapist. Jane would have to sit for at least one session with the station psychiatrist but since she was on a medical leave she wouldn't have to even go through that until she was ready to be reinstated. And Maura knew that was still a ways away to do any good in the moment.
She wished Jane would just talk to her about whatever was bothering her about what had happened with the shooting. Maura didn't understand it. She knew Jane was going to be upset when she realized the boy was killed but since Jane wasn't one of the officers to actually have to shoot Eric Franklin Maura hadn't really thought it would impact Jane as much as it clearly was.
Releasing a sigh, Maura reached out and let her fingers ghost lightly over Jane's cheek and forehead. She wasn't concerned about waking the detective. The pain pills Jane took at night seemed to knock her completely out. Maura was thankful for that as she was sure without them Jane's general discomfort wouldn't allow for much sleep. At least one of them should be getting a full night's sleep she thought as she rolled over and stared up at the ceiling.
With her growing concern over Jane's behavior and the trial fast approaching, Maura had all but given up on the notion of getting a complete night's rest. Sleep now eluded her. She fought to even fall asleep most nights and over the last week had been routinely awaken by nightmares similar to the one that caused her to be wide awake at 3:30.
She hadn't told Jane about the nightmares. Jane slept through them thanks to the medication and given everything that was bothering her Maura hadn't wanted to add to Jane's concerns. Part of her felt guilty for getting upset with Jane for not talking with her when she was just as guilty of that herself. She briefly wondered if she should try force the conversation with Jane again. Maybe enough time had passed that Jane would open up to her. Maybe she needed come clean herself. Maybe that would help them both. Maybe.
Knowing she wasn't going to get any more sleep that morning, Maura gave up and got out of bed. Before leaving the room she replaced the covers over Jane gently tucking them around her and she leaned in kissing Jane's forehead.
Maybe she would force them both to talk, she thought as she headed down to the kitchen to start some coffee. Something needed to change.
R&I
As Jane opened her eyes she knew immediately that it was way too early for her to be awake. She tried to fight it but seemed to be at a loss as to how she could hold it off. Her normal tactic was to simply roll over and resettle into the warmth of the bed or into the honey blonde who slept beside her. However, this morning she could do neither.
Her shoulder kept her from being able to roll over and the ME didn't seem to be in the bed next to her. She knew Maura was an early riser but when she turned her head and saw that it was only 4:20 am she knew this was early for even Maura. Jane let her left hand slide across the bed to test the warmth and found Maura's side to be stone cold. Maura had been out of bed for a while and that now worried Jane.
It had been a long week for them both. When Jane first woke up in the hospital after the surgery she wasn't surprised to find Maura in the chair next to her bed with her fingers interlocked around Jane's available left hand. Nor was she surprised to see her mother occupying the chair on the other side of her bed. Unfortunately for them all, that was a scene that had played out a few too many times before. What had surprised her was seeing that a third chair had been brought into the room and that one held Constance. All three women were asleep but the sight of them made Jane feel safe and secure and she easily fell back asleep.
It wasn't until the second time she woke up that her mind started replaying what had happened in the station lobby. She remembered heading back to the station with Frost to speak with the victim's boyfriend. Remembered coming off the elevator and hearing a gunshot. She ran with Frost towards the lobby and she remembered being shocked to see everyone pointing their guns at a boy. A child really.
A boy with a gun in his hand. A gun he was shakingly pointing at anything that caught his eye. Korsak had tried to reason with him but it was clear to everyone the boy wasn't listening to him. She had guessed correctly that the boy was the victim's brother, Eric. She knew someone other than Korsak needed to try to get the kid's attention. She remembered putting her gun down and approaching him.
She remembered their entire conversation. His cries. His claims that 'they' had killed his sister or had made the boyfriend do it. Her promise to find everyone involved and catch them. But then, things got fuzzy. She didn't realize the gun had been fired until it was too late. She wasn't even sure what made Eric shoot. He was lowering the gun. She thought she had talked him off the ledge and she was sure Korsak had moved close enough to secure the gun without a threat of injuring anyone else.
Her body registered the impact of the bullet before she really even heard the sound. She found that odd. Normally she always heard the sound first and then felt the burning of the bullet piercing her skin. Maybe it was because the other times her mind knew it was coming. This time she hadn't been ready for it at all.
She was on the ground before she realized it too. She had wanted to stop the return fire. She was going to call out for others not to react. Not to shoot. To fight their natural instinct in subduing an active shooter. To call out that he was just a boy and that Korsak could get the gun from him. But before she could do any of that she froze. She seemed unable to find her voice in that moment. So nothing came out. Nothing.
Instead, she heard three distinct shots being fired and knew in that moment that Eric Franklin was about to die. She knew it without even having to watch it. Knew it because in active shooting scenarios cops are trained to shoot to kill. Not shoot to wound. Not shoot to capture. Shoot to kill. It was a basic principle. It didn't matter that he was just a kid. He was an armed assailant and the minute he fired the gun that second time his fate was sealed. Sadly, his fate was probably sealed the first time he fired the gun.
She heard Korsak call out for an ambulance. She heard who she thought was Gonzalez holler out for another ambulance. That gave her hope. If the EMTs could get there in time maybe both Eric and Kevin had a chance. And then she heard Frost call out for one too. That one she knew was supposed to be for her. She remembered thinking she was fine and trying to get up. Eric and Kevin needed the attention more than she did. She remembered Frost pushing her back down and she remembered that her shoulder hurt and her right arm felt numb.
But she remembered trying to get up again. She felt determined to check on the status of both shooting victims. She was vaguely aware of Frost's attempts to get her to lay still but she just had to see about the others. Until she heard it. It was what finally stopped her movements. Her mother. Or more accurately, her mother's voice.
Fear.
There was a fear in that voice which was calling out Jane's name over and over that Jane had never in her life heard. Of the many tones of Angela Rizzoli, and there were many, this one was new. Painfully new. A tone Jane instantly knew she never wanted hear again as long as she lived. Ever.
To cause her mother that much fear. That much pain. That was something she never wanted to be responsible for again.
Jane stared up at the ceiling in her bedroom and let her mind drift to thoughts of Eric Franklin again. He hadn't had a mother in his life when he died. From what Jane had been told, his sister Gina had taken over that role after both their parents had been killed in a car accident. Although it appeared that his sister had done an excellent job of taking care of him after the accident, Jane knew it wasn't the same thing. A sister's love wasn't a complete substitute for the love of a mother.
Eric didn't have that anymore. And Jane couldn't help but kept going back to the tragic truth that in his last minutes that poor boy was utterly alone. He had lost his mother. He had lost his father. And he had become very aware of the fact that the last person he had left in his life to love him was no longer with him anymore either. He knew his sister was dead. How the world allowed a boy of only 13 years to die completely alone was something Jane just couldn't figure out.
She blinked her eyes closed and tried to shake off the hold the whole situation seemed to have on her. She just couldn't seem to shake it. No other incident, not Hoyt's many attacks, not Moreno and all that brought, not even being kidnapped by Dominic Bianchi had the same effect on Jane as had this incident in the station lobby. The fact that Jane couldn't figure out why was probably what bothered her the most.
She had no idea what to tell Maura. She knew Maura was worried about her. Hell, she was worried about herself. But each time Maura tried to get Jane to talk about what was bothering her she found herself at a loss to even understand it. So in the end, she said nothing. She did nothing. She made no move to try to get back to work. She didn't even want to go to the station to give her statement. She just couldn't be there right now but she really didn't understand why.
She felt bad for not talking with Maura. She just kept thinking that things would make sense in her head at some point and then she could tell Maura all about it. But that clarity hadn't come yet. And now she felt like she was shutting Maura out and that really was the last thing she wanted to do. Maura had enough happening in her life that Jane hadn't wanted to add to it.
Looking over at the empty half of their bed, Jane understood she had done exactly what she tried to avoid. She had managed to make things in Maura's already complicated life worse. The realization of that hit her hard and she knew she needed to fix that. She was supposed to be the one person Maura could always depend on to protect her and keep her safe. She was supposed to be the one who would never hurt her. And Jane couldn't help but think she had just managed to fail at being that person for Maura.
With that thought, Jane very slowly, very carefully got out of bed and went to go try to fix what she knew she had broken.
