A/N: I realized that I've been neglecting Natsume's human life in favor of his spirit one, so here is a "drabble" that returns to that. I admit, Natsume's human life, other than stories of his past, are not things I find especially interesting, but Natsume certainly does! So there will be more drabbles about the human friends (and family!) in Natsume's life.

As always, thank you for reading and commenting!


Taking Lessons

Caught up as I had been in the changes in my life, I forgot that there were still some things that would catch up with me even if I left it alone. And that being a god does not somehow allow me to learn these things faster. In this, like before, I still need to depend on others for help.


"Oh, that's bad," Nishimura says, looking over Natsume's shoulder. He looks at the test Natsume has just gotten back, and at the single digit number written in the upper right corner.

"It doesn't change, no matter how many times I look at this," Natsume says, sighing.

"I don't remember you getting scores as bad as that," is the boy's reply. "I mean, you never did great on your tests, but you never did badly on them either."

"Nishimura…" Kitamoto says.

"But it's true!"

"Doesn't mean you need to say it out loud!" Kitamoto puts down his lunch, then moves over to glance at Natsume's test. "But that really is a bad score Natsume, and it's not at all like you. Is something wrong?"

"N-not really."

"Hmmm."

"You sure?" Nishimura asks. "Because you know, Kitamoto is rather good at bio."

"I'll help you out after school if you want," Kitamoto says, not at all annoyed despite the fact that his friend had just thoughtlessly volunteered him as a tutor.

"No really. I'm fine. I'll just… study harder."

Natsume gets up, wrapping up his empty lunch box. It had been delicious, as usual.

"All right. But if you need help, don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you." He opens the door to head back downstairs. "Nishimura, I'll see you in class in a bit."

"See ya!"

Later that afternoon, Natsume heads to the library and opens his textbook to the chapter he had been tested on. Then he takes out the test, smoothing out the crinkles along the edges. It is ironic, that he, who knows and understands the way life changes and grows more intimately than any human, should fail a test in a subject that attempts to explain the phenomena. But the terms and concepts confuse him, despite reading and rereading the passage that explains what they are.

"There you are. I thought you might be here."

"Tanuma," Natsume says, grateful for the interruption. Then he smiles ruefully. "So you heard."

"Yeah. I overheard Kitamoto and Nishimura," Tanuma admits, smiling in return. "So, what's wrong?" The expression on his face changes, becoming more serious. In a much quieter tone, he asks, "Is it because of spirits? Are you able to sleep at night?"

I'm not sleeping at all.

But Natsume does not say this. Instead he shakes his head and smiles again.

"No, I'm getting plenty of sleep."

He cannot tell Tanuma that he isn't sleeping, not because spirits are coming to him for help, but because he is going to them for lessons. Lessons on how to create barriers, to create and break seals—deliberately, rather than instinctively like he used to—magics of illusion and protections, power and defense, and a thousand and one other little things he needs to learn. Not to be a god, necessarily, at least, not just that. But to be a good one, one who doesn't merely want to protect his followers, but can.

"So anyway, Kitamoto asked me to help you out with your biology."

This startles Natsume.

"Wait… but…"

"I know. I know you already rejected Kitamoto's offer. But he came to ask me anyway. He said that he felt that you might not be so hesitant with me, since you've gone to me for coaching before." Tanuma laughs, remembering the shougi lessons. "I'm pretty good at bio you know. Better even than Kitamoto. Besides, I want to help. I might be useless when it comes to other things, but this is the least I can do."

It is hard not to feel the pain in Tanuma's voice, to feel the twinge of bitterness and longing. Natsume knows, more than anyone else, that this longing is his fault. After all, until Tanuma had met him, Tanuma had not been aware that it was possible to feel more. Yet Tanuma, unlike Natsume, does not have the power to do anything. Enough to feel, to sense something out there, but not enough to do. Not even to see.

"Thank you, Tanuma. It's really not anything… else. It's just that I really, really don't understand this." Natsume nudges the textbook for emphasis.

The look of relief on Tanuma's face hurts, but Natsume continues to smile.

"All right then. Hand over that test, and let's try going over the problems."

He has forgotten. In his haste to become the kind of god he wants to be, he has forgotten about the other world he lives in. The one filled with people just as precious, that he cares for just as much. Guilt overwhelms Natsume in an instant, momentarily distracting him from Tanuma's explanation.

"Do you understand, Natsume?"

"U-um. Sorry. Can you explain again?"

It's not only being a better god that Natsume has to worry about. Insistent as he is on living in both worlds, it is not enough. From now on he will have to do better.

As a god.

As a human.

As a friend.