Title: Gimme my gum!
Summary: Jerry learns the hard way you should never mess with Jack and his chewing gum.
Disclaimer: I do not own Devil's Rejects, Demon Speeding, 1000 corpses or American Witch by Rob Zombie. (I do have a few on my phone though) And I do not own any of the James Bond films or actors mentioned.
I am the bad one,
Distant and cruel one,
I am the dream that,
Keeps you running down,
With distraction,
Violent reaction,
Scars of my actions,
Watch me running out,
Hell doesn't want them.
Hell doesn't need them.
Hell doesn't love them.
The Devil's Rejects
The Devil's Rejects
Yeah, I am the brains,
Some say insane,
Blood is the rain,
That's what life's about,
In the great wide,
Head split and tongue tied,
Watch the sun die,
When you're running out,
Hell doesn't want them.
Hell doesn't need them.
Hell doesn't love them.
The Devil's Rejects
The Devil's Rejects
Yeah I am the knuckle,
Bow down and buckle,
Hold your breath,
Your world is running down,
Live for the family,
Die with the family,
All is the family,
My gun is running out,
Hell doesn't want them.
Hell doesn't need them.
Hell doesn't love them.
This world rejects them.
This world rejects them.
This world rejects them.
This world rejects them.
The Devil's Rejects
The Devil's Rejects
Jack was in his room, laying on his bed with his headphones in. He had a long day training for the Junior Martial arts competition. He was going to China with Jerry and Rudy. Jack had learned that his cousin Kai would be there, so he would have to be on his A-game. But, since all that was out of the way, Jack was waiting for Jerry to come over. It was their James Bond day.
They'd pick an actor who played James Bond - not including Daniel Craig - and then they'd get a list of all the films they'd done and pick one at random. Jack spat out a bit of chewing gum and whatever film it landed on or closest to, was the one they'd watch. So far, that system was pretty accurate, they'd chosen:
Sean Connery - You only live twice
Sean Connery - From Russia with love
Sean Connery - Thunderball
Roger Moore - The Spy who loved me
Roger Moore - Moonraker
Timothy Dalton - License to Kill
Pierce Brosnan - Die another day
But in the event they did happen to pick Daniel Craig, Jack always put his headphones in and kept the piece of chewing gum. It wasn't that Jack didn't like Daniel Craig - in fact he had to admit that Quantum of Solace was a good movie - he just felt like all the gadgets had disappeared when Daniel became Bond. Jack put his headphones back in and waited for Jerry.
Hey, do you love me? I'm untouchable darkness
A dirty black river to get you through this
Hey, do you love me? I'm a devil machine
(Hey do you love me? I'm a devil machine)
Get into my world, all American dream
In the mouth of madness
Down in the darkness
No more tomorrow
Down in the hollow
Hey do you love it when the kids are screaming?
Wrecking on the road violate their dreaming
Hey, do you love to see the filth in the clean, yeah?
(Hey do you love to see the filth in the clean, yeah?)
Get into the gone all American dream
In the mouth of madness
Down in the darkness
No more tomorrow
Down in the hollow
I'm demon speeding
I'm demon speeding
I'm demon speeding
I'm demon speeding
Get it on, get it on
Get it on, get it on, come alive
Hey, do you love me elevating the madness?
(Hey, do you love me elevating the madness?)
A super death rising to get you through this
(A super death rising to get you through this)
Hey, do you love me like a beautiful fiend, yeah?
(Hey, do you love me like a beautiful fiend, yeah?)
Get into my world all American dream
In the mouth of madness
Down in the-
Suddenly Jerry burst through Jack's bedroom door interrupting his thoughts and music.
"Hey buddy, I brought the movies!" Jerry said cheerfully, jumping on Jack's bed.
Jack eyed the pile suspiciously, his eye caught the titles: Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace. "You bought Daniel Craig movies again didn't you?"
"No..." Jerry hid said movies behind his back.
"Jerry I can see them behind your back!" Jack smiled. "Alright, get the sheet out."
As Jerry scrambled over the edge of Jack's bed, Jack unwrapped a piece of chewing gum and chewed it for a while. Once Jerry placed the list under his chin, Jack spat his gum downwards. It landed on...
Daniel Craig - Casino Royale
"Oh come on!" Jack groaned in frustration, flopping backwards on his bed.
"It's not that bad!" Jerry countered as he put the movie in Jack's DVD player, switching the TV on.
"I know, I just don't like Daniel Craig that much, and I wish they'd kept George Lazenby around for at least one more movie," Jack sighed.
"Going all fangirl there Jack?" Jerry teased, sitting next to Jack as the movie started.
"No," Jack said sharply. "I can't believe that movie actually got the metaphor: It was a mistake, like casting George Lazenby as 007. What a jerky director."
"Yeah... oh well," Jerry said brightly.
"Okay..." Jack retrieved his chewing gum from the paper and popped it in his mouth, putting his headphones back in.
Body of a monkey and the feet of a cock,
Dragged from her home on the killing rock,
Black dog dying on the weather vain,
The Devil's in a cat and the baby's brain,
The End - The End of The American,
The End - The End of The American,
The End - The End of The American,
The End - The End of The American Witch,
Alone on the hill and ready to die,
Cancer of darkness - blacken eye,
The mark of the wolf and the sign of the calf,
Angels bleed down above the raft,
We all pray for 20 innocents,
We all bow down 20 innocents,
We all hang high - 20 innocents,
We all accused - 20 innocents,
The End - The End of The American,
The End - The End of The American,
The End - The End of The American,
The End - The End of The American Witch,
Do you want to know where their dreams come from?
Some showed the faith and some showed none.
Do you want to know where their dreams come from?
Some showed the faith and some showed none.
We all pray for 20 innocents,
We all bow down 20 innocents,
We all hang high - 20 innocents,
We all accused - 20 innocents,
The End - The End of The American,
The End - The End of The American,
The End - The End of The American,
The End - The End of The American,
Do you want to know where their dreams come from?
Some showed the faith and some showed none.
The End - The End of The American Witch!
Another song came on just as Bond was posing as a valet in the parking lot. Jack didn't see the point in paying attention now, seeing as he'd lost what the film was about anyway.
She had a corpse under her bed
She had her fun but now he's dead
Her momma said, Come feed desire?
Her brother said, Hey, throw it on the fire?
This is the house, come on in
This is the house, built on sin
This is the house, nobody lives
This is the house, you get what you give, yeah, yeah
I cut the flesh and make it bleed
Fresh skin is what I need
I let it dry out in the wood
All your crying did no good, yeah
This is the house, come on in
This is the house, built on sin
This is the house, nobody lives
This is the house, you get what you give, yeah, yeah
Now you're lying on the floor
Yeah, you can't take anymore
The devil's laughing in your face-
"Ow!" Jack winced as his headphone was pulled sharply from his ear. "I really wish you'd stop disturbing my music!"
"Sorry," Jerry didn't sound sorry at all. "Do you have anymore gum?"
"No, just this one," Jack pointed to his mouth and widened his eyes as Jerry's lit up in response.
Jack winced as Jerry tackled him to the floor and pinned his wrists above Jack's head with one hand, crushing his legs so he couldn't fight back. Jerry moved his other hand to Jack's stomach and started tickling him.
"J-Jerry!" Jack gasped as he started laughing. "S-s-st-top it, it tickles!"
Once Jack's mouth was open, Jerry pushed two of his fingers into Jack's mouth trying to open it, but once they were trying to get the gum, Jack sunk his teeth into Jerry's fingers. But to Jack's dismay, Jerry didn't give up and took the gum between his fingers and pulled it out of Jack's mouth, putting it into his own.
"So what you gonna do about it now?" Jerry chuckled, chewing on the gum.
Jack grabbed Jerry's arms and rolled them over so he was on top. He then leant down and crushed his lips against Jerry's then Jack took the opportunity to push his tongue inside his friend's mouth and searched out the gum. After a while, Jack found the gum stuck on the roof of Jerry's mouth, so he used his tongue to scrape it off and retrieve it.
"Ha!" Jack panted, feeling triumphant.
"Boys, if you're going to play a-" Jack's door opened and his mum came in.
"Hey mum," Jack greeted her, blowing a small bubble with his chewing gum.
"You tried to take his gum didn't you?" Jack's mum asked Jerry, who was still underneath her son.
"Uh huh," Jerry panted.
"Don't mess with his gum," Jack's mum laughed before exiting the bedroom, shutting the door.
"You got told," Jack smirked. "By my mum."
Sorry, I couldn't resist making Jack a Rob Zombie fan! :P
