Beta reader: Sorcerousfang
Lesson 7: Backstories are the Key to a Successful Undercover Operation
"No weapons allowed," said the bouncer as they tried to enter the establishment.
They dropped their weapons at the entrance and dived into the overwhelming world beyond the metallic doors of "Sinners: Heaven on Earth for the Gay Community," as advertised on the door. Hijikata's stern and glacial look couldn't quite hide how thoroughly cross he was at the unexpected loss of his katana. To be honest, Gintoki understood completely because he also felt kinda "naked" without his bokuto.
Once inside, suddenly everything went hectic: the loud music, the smoke, the epileptic attack-inducing lights, the bodies either dancing spasmodically or fumbling shamelessly in the dark… Gintoki looked at Hijikata who walked by his side. It was thoroughly unnatural to see the usually scary-looking Shinsengumi vice chief bathed by the milliard of colours and flashing lights that illuminated the dance floor as they crossed it. Man, did he look out of place... Gintoki smiled. This was going to be fun.
"So what do we do now, Toshi?" he teased, purposefully making use of the Shinsengumi's host nickname.
"We don't do anything. In undercover operations, one stays under the radar, finds a quiet corner to take some evidence pics from and then does the arrest. None of this is compatible with your presence, so you're gonna have to get lost."
"What I had in mind was more of a fully developed background story for Toshi and Gin, our gay personas, in order to mingle with the local folks and obtain some juicy information."
"What movie do you think you're in, permy freak? Just scram and let me do my work in peace."
"But it's also my work. After all, I'm also here to look for…"
"Who cares what nonsense brings you here? Go pick up your client's drunkard son or whatever absurd task you've been paid to do and leave me the hell alone, all right?"
"Tsk," exclaimed Gintoki, annoyed. If he let him, this exasperating jerk was going to ruin Gintoki's plan to have some fun while on the job. Oh well…thought Gintoki as he moved away and towards the bar to get himself a drink. It will still be fun to see the delusional fool trying and failing to carry out an inconspicuous operation in a place like this.
Gintoki went off and spent a good hour in the company of some of the bar regulars who were pretty friendly to a fresh and young face like his. They paid for enough rounds to get Gintoki a nice fuzzy feeling, so he knew better than to freak out at some of the kinky offers they would make after a couple of glasses. In fact, this made him wonder how the vice commander would be getting on.
He didn't have to wait too long to find out, because a ruckus broke out soon after in one of the corners of the bar where, in the process of twisting some poor bastard's arm, was none other than an enraged Hijikata Toushirou.
Some movement near the entrance door made Gintoki realize that a bouncer was already on the move and heading in the direction of the commotion. Gintoki cursed at this bad habit of his of getting that moronic Shinsengumi out of trouble every single time.
He sneaked quickly into the crowd and, after some struggle, finally managed to detach the hot-blooded officer from the whimpering mess that was his unfortunate victim. The poor bastard's sin, one can only imagine…
"So much for your low-profile operation, eh Toshi..." he said, still struggling to take the furious man away from the curious crowd that had quickly gathered.
"Let me get back there! I have to make sure that guy needs to use his foot to feed himself for the rest of his life! That'll teach him where he can and cannot put his hands!"
Gintoki couldn't help but chuckle at this.
"Only someone as naïve as you could come to a place like this and expect to be left alone. Do you have any idea what people come here for?"
"What? To harass each other?"
"Pretty much, yes..."
"Sickening punks... How am I gonna get my job done if I have to keep an eye out for every creep in the vicinity?"
Gintoki pondered something for a moment.
"You know what? For a reasonable fee I could do it for ya…"
"Do what?" asked Hijikata looking at him suspiciously.
"Keep... 'creeps' from bothering you."
Hijikata put who knows which two and two together and immediately looked aghast.
"Forget it!"
"Come on... evidence suggests we've already been up to a lot more than holding hands. What's the harm?"
Hijikata shuddered as he remembered his recent and disturbingly vivid flashback.
"I..I'll handle this on my own. I'll learn to ignore them."
"Hijikata-kun…you don't understand. Your aloofness only makes them all the more interested."
"I said no!" he exclaimed and turned around.
"You'll change your mind! And when you do, the price will be up!" shouted the white-haired samurai while Hijikata stomped away from him.
All right, Hijikata was officially freaking out.
That evening was fucked up from the beginning, what with Sougo fleeing on him, the disturbing visions of him and Gintoki, the loss of his beloved katana at the door, his unexplainable magnetism for depraved weirdos, and then…well, then he just had to go and run out of cigarettes. Could it get any worse? Of course, Hijikata was experienced enough to know that indeed things could always get worse. So when he had gone to the vending machine to get a new packet of Mayoboros and someone had invariably approached him to hit on him, he was all but surprised.
Only, listening to the current weirdo and not snapping was taking all of the self-control Hijikata had left. He had tried to get away discreetly, but Frank (as he liked to be called) had not allowed it by stubbornly standing in his way. The arsehole clearly didn't have a friggin' clue about who he was dealing with. On a regular day, he would have already been cut in half. Several times. However, it was his lucky day because Hijikata needn't draw attention to himself if he was to accomplish anything. He had to stay under the radar and, more importantly, away from the bouncer, who would throw him out, ending this sorry excuse for an undercover operation altogether.
As a consequence, Hijikata was currently freaking out inside as he heard the most disgustingly graphic descriptions of what this freak was fantasizing about doing with his body parts, and making real efforts to keep himself from punching the bastard's sickly face and sending him flying across the room. In the meantime, he could just glare and pray that the idiot got a hint.
"…You look like the silent and manly kind. Mmmm, I like how your type comes undone in my hands…"
Hijikata glared.
"…I can guarantee I can make you make sounds that you didn't even think possible…"
Hijikata glared, glared, and glared with all his might. Only his trademark death glare was not having the effect it usually had on his underlin
gs or your regular Joui patriot. It was, in fact, backfiring!
"Such a burning gaze… You could light a fire with those eyes, my dear. You're definitely lighting mine…"
Hijikata's jaw dropped.
"…I can't wait to have you down on all…"
Hijikata clenched his fist. That was it. He had rushed way past his snapping point. He was about to gladly indulge in the blinding fury that had been creeping up in his gut all evening when he caught a glimpse of white behind the annoying pestering arsehole.
The damned Yorozuya bastard was leaning on a column and smirking at him. He knew… The permbrain just knew this was going to happen. He knew Hijikata would reach his absolute limit and be torn between sending the operation to hell or cave in.
He also knew that Hijikata's sense of duty would not allow him to screw the operation if there was a viable alternative. Even if the alternative involved asking him for help. Which inherently made the viability questionable at best.
How it translated to the exterior, Hijikata ignored. But it was instantly clear that Gintoki was aware that he had capitulated and accepted whatever terms and conditions the Yorozuya's contract entailed. A second later, he could feel his presence behind him and an arm around his neck and down his chest. The silver-haired rested his chin on Hijikata's shoulder before speaking with a saccharine tone.
"Sorry pal, but this luscious cake already has a watering mouth to feed," he told Frank.
Hijikata gasped. This permy bastard was way more disgusting than any of the other arseholes he'd been putting up with all night.
"Cakes taste better when shared..." offered Frank, unperturbed.
Gintoki smiled.
"I'm actually pretty greedy when it comes to my sweets, and you're messing with my favourite one."
"All right, all right, I'm not one to meddle between two fools in love. Although, let me say keeping such a treat exclusively for yourself is almost a crime."
"Lucky me there's no policemen around here then."
"You're one lucky bastard, you know?"
"That I am…" replied Gintoki softly.
"Well then… Bon appetite," said the other as a way of goodbye, giving Hijikata one last torrid look before withdrawing.
Hijikata, who had gone from bleach pale, to pink to bright red and back to white throughout the whole interaction, turned around mumbling some words of thanks without making eye contact with the freelancer. Colour returned to his face only once he had lit a new cigarette and exhaled a shaky, smoky breath.
A totally unfazed Gintoki followed him to the bar and placed an order for drinks during which the waiter and him exchanged a bunch of flirty words. Hijikata eyed him warily. How could this bastard be so suave and comfy here? This rotten twisted arsehole could just pull anything off, could he?
Hijikata shook his head. He really needed to focus on the task at hand.
Gintoki put a drink in front of him.
"I understand that we have an agreement…"
"Your price?"
"I trust you to adequately compensate my services. More importantly, I have conditions."
Hijikata shuddered but kept his usual cool exterior.
"Which are...?"
"I'm sure you can imagine…"
"I'd rather not."
"Well…" Gintoki got closer to the vice commander who tried to keep from showing the shiver that went down his spine. "My condition is that only for tonight…" he whispered in Hijikata's ear who was stiff as hell and looking pointedly forward, "…you are Toshi… and I am Gin… and..." Hijikata braced himself, "...we go all out in our gay personas!" finished Gintoki merrily.
"Wha-?
"Yes! Listen, I have it all figured out. I will be Gin, a wedding planner that lived with his ill mum and only when she died was he able to express his homosexuality freely. After that, he went full on diva to make up for the time he had lost. He was promiscuous, he was adventurous, he tried it all. And you will be Toshi, a salary man who became the caprice of the company manager's daughter and agreed to a marriage that was economically convenient but made him unhappy. We met on the day of your wedding, where I was an assistant, and fell in love at first sight. With the excuse of discussing some catering details in the middle of the banquet, I took you to a closet and ravaged you. After that, we didn't see each other for years, until a few months ago, after your divorce. Sparks flew instantly again, but you had trouble accepting your sexuality and rejected me many times. I pursued you ceaselessly until one night of weakness when you gave in. The morning after you couldn't deny the fact that sex with me was the best you had ever had."
Hijikata's cigarette fell from his open mouth as Gintoki finished his compelling tale with a proud smile.
"Wha-?" exhaled the vice commander.
Gintoki smiled and shook Hijikata's limp hand to seal the deal.
"You do your job, Vice Commander. I'll take care of the rest."
As much as Hijikata hated to accept it, from then on things began to be a lot easier for him. He was able to finally make a proper mapping in his mind of the layout of the place, including the potential escape routes, the rooms, the doors, the people, and, more importantly, the potential suspicious interactions. Obviously, it was a difficult feat considering the horde of horny punks with no physical boundaries that plagued the place. He could tell there was some prostitution going on, but no exchange of drugs so far. There was a guy with tattooed arms, however, that had been standing still in front of a closed door for 45 minutes and no one had gone in or out during the whole time. That was where Hijikata's attention was currently focused.
As he was scribbling a rough description of the guy in his notebook he barely registered a man a couple of meters away from Gintoki and him that was looking in his direction, but who quickly lost interest as Gintoki's absent-minded hand came to rest on Hijikata's thigh. Sometimes it was a light touch, other times it would just be a glare from Gintoki, but no one had come close to Hijikata for the last hour, and for that, he was grateful.
About ten minutes later, Hijikata saw a punk with blond hair approaching the tattooed man. They exchanged a couple of words and he showed him some money. The man opened the door for him, but not without carefully checking his surroundings first. Hijikata moved a bit to hide discreetly behind Gintoki.
"They may be gathered in that room," he said when the blond guy came out a few minutes later and headed straight for the toilets.
"Do you wanna go in? You don't know how many there will be. I'll come with you."
"Moron, I cannot get a civilian involved in this."
"Are you seriously saying that after all the times I've gotten dragged into the Shinsengumi's crazy jumbles?"
As the silver-haired said this, Hijikata saw someone approaching them from Gintoki's rear. He thought he could also give this charade a try. If this perm-head could do it, there was no reason why he couldn't.
He stretched his hand and brushed Gintoki's fringe lightly from his forehead.
The man effectively turned around and Hijikata was smugly congratulating himself until he noticed the shocked expression on his interlocutor.
"What...? Wait... what the hell are you blushing for, creep?"
"Oh... but Toshi was so sweet just now, I hadn't seen this side of you since that day in the closet..."
"Shut it, jackass!" The idiot was definitely enjoying this far too much. "I need to go in there," he continued, quickly changing the embarrassing topic. "Do you think we could manage that without a ruckus?"
Gintoki thought about it for a bit.
"There may be a way," he said mysteriously. "Follow my lead."
Hijikata swallowed hard.
Author's note: This chapter was a bit tricky and my muse and I weren't much in sync for the majority of it. In any case, here it is at last! Thank you to all of you who reviewed, followed and favourited! Go on and enjoy the read! Let me know what you think!
